


Defrost Thoroughly Before Dating

by Whispersmummy



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: Broken Bones, Christmas Fluff, Dating, Elinor Lives, F/F, Happy Ending, Head Injury, Major Character Injury, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex Toys, Slow Burn, Walks In The Park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:52:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 113,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whispersmummy/pseuds/Whispersmummy
Summary: This started as an alternative take on 'Life In The Freezer' as I just wasn't happy with the way Serena was a big clingy wimp! It's developed into a big pile of fluff. Enjoy!This story is now complete





	1. Chapter 1 - And Then I Don't Feel So Bad

“There you are,” Serena said, packing her things into her bag. “Where’ve you been?” She was smiling. They had plans. It was all going well today. They had sorted out the business with their patient, her husband, everyone was happy. Serena was happy. She was hoping for more of that feeling. Tonight.

“I uh … I went to see Hanssen.”

She's not looking at me. Why isn't she looking at me?

“Oh?”

“I’ve accepted the secondment.”

A pause. Serena felt the reality of what Bernie had just said sweep over her. Bernie looked up at her. A tinge of guilt in her eyes. Resignation there too.

“What?” Serena couldn't put strength behind it. It came out as a breath, a growl nearly. Her stomach fell into her boots. She didn't understand.

“I think … the prospect of me leaving … just put too much pressure on … us … to decide how we feel.”

Oh well then this was easy, I know how I feel.

Serena got up, smiled in hope and tried to explain. Surely I don't have tears in my eyes? “No, it made me realise I told you I don't want you to go.” Serena was close to her, breathing the same air as Bernie, a desperate attempt at showing her how she felt. Surely she knows, surely she understands …

Bernie held her arms firmly, moved her away.

“That's what you don't want. You need time and space to decide what you do want.”

I don't need space I need you.

“It's the same thing.” Am I pleading now? I feel like I am.

“No. It's not.” Bernie rolled her eyes, conscious of how cheesy and ridiculous her next sentence would sound. “I know I don’t want to hurt you. Because I … care about you.”

She's going to run. I can tell by her face.

Before she even touched the door, Serena grabbed her wrist somewhat forcefully. “Stop.” I'm not having this.

“Serena,” Bernie said, frustration and embarrassment coursing through her features like disease. “Please.”

“No. Stop.”

Serena brought up her other hand and grasped the blonde’s other forearm. When she was sure the other woman has calmed a little, despite not being able to catch her eye, she lessened her grip.

“Sit down.” It was not a request. More a command. Her voice was soft though, she wasn't about to freak the sweet and oh so stupid army medic out any further.

Bernie wasn't sure what else she should do. She dropped her hand from the door. She finally looked up, face stony, eyes a little shocked, and completely without the ability to speak. She had been on the receiving end of an angry and embittered Serena a couple of times and did not relish a repeat. She kept quiet. She sat, perched anxiously, on the chair near Serena’s desk. She watched with wide eyes as Serena calmly but with frustrated eyes, picked up the phone on her desk and dialled an internal number.

It rang. “Ric. It's Serena. Yes I'm fine thankyou … well … not exact- … anyway you're about to be put on speaker. Ms Wolfe is here.” She placed the received on the desk and pressed the button to turn on the speaker.

“Hello Ms Wolfe.” Ric’s voice was confused.

“Hi.” Bernie replied after a beat. Confused too. Serena smirked inwardly. If this doesn't work I have nothing else.

“Ok I won't bore you with the details, Ric. What I would like you to do is …” She looked up at Bernie and tried not to falter. “Explain to Ms Wolfe the conversation we had over drinks last week.” She took a deep breath. “No beating round the bush please.”

There was a pause. Come on Ric, I'm relying on you here, Serena thought.

“Well, I believe we spoke about the fact that I've had a lot of failed marriages and … you said you'd … are you sure Ms Wolfe needs to hear this?”

“She does,” Serena replied, attempting to keep the nervous wobble out of her voice.

“Ok well. When I asked you if there was anyone special, you went all … shy … and divulged to me that you had your eye on Bernie Wolfe. I told you I thought she was a fine woman … an opinion that I stand by.” He huffed out a bit of a laugh, confused still about the purpose of the conversation. “Is that all?”

“I think that’ll do. Thank you for your candour.”

“Um ok then. Bye.”

“Bye.” Serena hung up. She turned to Bernie, an attempt at courage on her upturned jaw. Her breath was a bit shaky. She swallowed. Bernie still sat there dumb-struck, like someone had hit her over the head with a mallet.

“Last week?” Bernie breathed.

Serena nodded.

“So … days before either of us even heard about the Ukraine job.”

“That's right.”

“Even though we decided to forget about it?”

“Well I believe I didn't have much of a say in the matter.”

Bernie looked down. Sudden tears stung her eyes. She rested her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands together. “I'm … not sure what to say.”

“How about rather than some chivalrous attempt to protect the both of us, we start being honest with one another?” When Bernie finally looked up she found Serena was smiling a bit. “Would you like me to start?” Bernie nodded. Serena reached forward to place her hand over the both of Bernie’s for a moment, a light caress, before sitting back. “I meant what I said in the corridor. I know how I feel, I'm falling for you hook, line and sinker.” Serena blushed a bit and looked away. “Or maybe I have fallen. Whatever anyway I'm in rather deep. And, yes, the thought of you leaving for however many months to a country so far away panicked me a bit.” She looked up and caught Bernie’s eye. “And I'm sorry if that came across a bit … desperate or scary or whatever.” Both their eyes were wet but it was a calm moment. None of the frantic emotion similar to earlier.

“I wish you'd told me,” Bernie managed and finally, finally, she reached forwards and Serena came to meet her, pulling her swivel chair a bit closer and adopting a similar position to Bernie so that their fingers touched. Bernie watched their hands, fingers interlacing and thumbs brushing.

“So do I,” Serena said with a laugh. “I was this close,” she indicated with thumb and forefinger a millimetre apart, “to divulging all my feelings for you last night, but what with all the wine, some part of me held back and decided I needed to be one hundred percent sober for an admission like that. If I'd have known Hanssen’s plans for you this morning, well…” she closed her eyes and shook her head. “I think I would have just told you.”

Bernie looked up at her, a tear escaping down her cheek. Serena’s eyebrows pushed down and she immediately reached to wipe the tear from Bernie’s cheek. Her hand lingered.

“I think it’s your turn,” Serena whispered gently, smoothing the back of her knuckles down Bernie’s cheek before sitting back just with their hands interlaced between them.

“I…” Bernie had never been good at explaining her emotions, to herself let alone anyone else. She looked up at Serena, apology in her expression, trying to find the words. “I'm scared.”

“I figured that out myself,” Serena whispered, smiling kindly.

“I think … and I truly believe this … that if we do this, get into this … together … I will find a way to ruin it all and … I wouldn't want to do that to you.”

Serena squeezed her hands, but kept quiet. She's talking to me. She's actually opening up.

“I care … so much … about you. B-because of that, I'm terrified of going too fast or … doing something that will hurt you.” She squeezed Serena's hands back. “I've hurt so many people over the last … you're too important to me to …” She shuddered and fell silent.

“So,” Serena began, slowly, taking one hand from where their four were all clasped together and beginning to trace a finger over Bernie's wrist. She moved her chair closer still, their knees touching. “I'm going to repeat back to you what I think I understand.”

“To check your understanding of the information given,” Bernie teased, voice low. Serena sighed a bit and chuckled.

“Well, seems silly not to use my incredible information gathering skills in all aspects of life.”

They just grinned at each other shyly for a moment. Bernie looked down at her own wrist still smiling. She hummed a bit. Serena was still trailing her fingertips in circles there. That was nice.

“So,” Serena began again. “What I can understand is that you're terrified of doing something to hurt me and that the safer option would be to not get involved and therefore not put whatever we have now at risk?”

Bernie nodded.

“And you think we're going too fast?”

“Well,” Bernie said, blushing a little, “I'm aware that there are quicker ways of going about these things…”

“A couple of snogs a few weeks apart isn't really fast I suppose.”

“… I just feel … I need some structure maybe.” She looked up and Serena watched a light bulb moment happen on her face. “Dating.”

Serena looked surprised. “Dating?”

“Yes. I'd like to date you.”

Serena smiled and chuckled. “Like … take me to dinner and … a romantic walk along the prom … before dropping me home to my parents, well, Jason, and promising me you will call me before leaving me hanging for days?” She was rambling but happily.

“That's exactly it. Well, apart from the last part. I will always call you.” She blushed again. “I just … I think it would be good for us to … have a bit of structure and understanding that … i-it's not going to go too quickly and neither one of us, well me, will get scared and run.” They locked eyes and the mood dropped a bit. Another tear fell down Bernie's face. “Like I've almost done this evening.”

Serena couldn't help it. She reached and swiped the tear away once more and traced Bernie’s bottom lip with her thumb. Bernie tasted the salty tear and another fell. She tried to pull away, tried to keep it hidden, but Serena stood, pulled her with one hand in her hands and the other under her jaw. She wrapped her arms around her. They held one another, Bernie's lips pressed near the place where Serena’s neck met her shoulder, hoping her tears wouldn't gather on the collar of her blouse. She shivered a bit and allowed herself a sob. Serena squeezed her hard. She rubbed her back.

After a moment or two, Bernie loosened her grip and Serena moved back to look at her. “I need to call Hanssen.”

“Would you like me to leave you to it for a while?” Serena asked gently.

“Just for a minute. I'm going to have to think of some random excuse for not going to Ukraine.” Serena let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding.

“So you're not …?” They left the knowledge hanging in the air.

Serena smiled, relief rushing over her and making her breathing ragged for a minute. Then she went to the door and left the office they'd shared for the past few months. Bernie smiled as she left, safe in the knowledge it was all sorted now. Safe in the knowledge she hadn't ruined the whole thing and she had a chance to be happy.

 


	2. Raindrops On Roses

Serena waited at the nurse’s station, proceeding to tidy the desk as Fletch appeared to have spread various scraps of paper and patient files all over it. Usually he was reasonably tidy, Serena thought to herself, unable to resist smiling at the knowledge that all was right with the world. What was a bit of tidying in the grand scheme of things?

After a few minutes their office door opened. Serena smiled over at Bernie as she came out, closing the door behind her. Bernie looked up smiling, shy again. “That's that sorted.”

“Glad to hear it.” They couldn't stop smiling at one another and Serena was aware of Raf’s gaze on them from a bed close by.

“I think it's time to go,” Bernie said, walking over to the nurse’s station and giving Serena a small shrug.

They left AAU together without another word.

“So what excuse did you use? Passport out of date? Kid’s birthday?” Serena asked, looking over and wanting to link her arm with Bernie’s but refraining from doing so.

“Timing.” Bernie grinned at her. “I wasn't specific but in the end I figured bad timing wasn't a lie. I simply explained to him that it wasn't the right time for me to be away from AAU and I'd made a mistake by accepting the offer.”

“So it's sorted.”

“Yes it is.”

Serena grinned too. One more thing for them to put behind them. “So, I believe we had dinner plans.”

“Ah yes about that,” Bernie said, hands coming up and shaking in a worried gesture. “I think it would be sensible …”

“For us to go out for a comfortable casual dinner without an extensive wine list, nowhere too posh, just a casual …”

“First date,” Bernie finished, dropping her hands in relief. “As much as I'd love to cook for you at mine, it's not the tidiest it's ever been and I'd rather be a bit more prepared.”

“Ha,” Serena barked. “Well, where do you have in mind?”

“Somewhere boring.” Serena gave her an astonished look as they began walking again, pushing double doors to exit into the outside world. “No, I mean … we've had a long day and … I really don't have the energy to dress up or look nice … so maybe a Wetherspoon’s or somewhere we don't have to try so hard.”

“Actually that sounds lovely. And I agree. We have had a difficult day.” Serena blushed before admitting, “I think you look nice.”

Bernie smiled at that but didn't comment. “And I'd like to drive. Leave your car here and I'll pick you up in the morning as well.”

“Well that's very kind, Bernie. If you're sure.”

“Of course.” They walked to Bernie's car and Bernie opened the door for her.

“Very chivalrous,” Serena teased.

“Well it is a date,” Bernie replied with a smile.

When they arrived at the pub they found a table by a window. Serena went to order them drinks from the bar and Bernie used the opportunity to watch Serena, a soft smile on her face. She thought back to the kiss they had shared earlier that day and made a promise to herself that they would be repeating it later.. That was the whole reason Bernie had insisted on driving. She wanted to walk Serena to her front door and kiss her goodnight.

Waiting as their drinks were poured, Serena leant on the bar and frowned to herself. She realised, smirked and turned her head to catch Bernie sitting with her chin in her hand, elbow on the small table, watching her. Serena blushed but not uncomfortably. Their eyes locked and sparks flew between them. Serena wondered how they were ever going to take it slowly. Serena turned back to the bar to pay for the drinks.

As she carried them back she realised Bernie had disappeared. A moment of panic, Serena thought maybe she had bolted, before she caught sight of the blonde returning to the table, carrying a small jam jar. Inside the jar were three pink roses, fake ones but not tacky, with those fake droplets of water Serena had seen once in a shop somewhere. Bernie placed the jar on the table as Serena set down their drinks. Serena gave her a puzzled look.

“Got them from the waitress. Explained our table wasn't pretty enough for the girl I was taking out.”

“Very nice,” Serena said, touching a silk petal with a fingertip and sitting down.

“Well. I know it's only a first date, but why not have something special?”

Serena looked at her kindly, lifting a hand to slide her fingers forwards on the table. Her fingers toyed a bit with the edge of Bernie's napkin before she bit the bullet and straightened her fingers in an offering, palm turning upwards. Bernie lifted her own hand and touched their fingertips before knitting their fingers together.

They shared a slightly embarrassed smile. Serena breathed out a laugh, more out of nerves than any joke. She looked at Bernie under shuttered lashes. Bernie swept her thumb across the back of Serena's hand.

“Are you ready to order?” The waitresses voice shot through them and Bernie pulled her hand away in shock. They looked at each other and Bernie immediately felt guilty, although Serena was doing a very good job of hiding her disappointment.

“Shouldn't we be ordering at the bar?” Bernie asked, bravely offering her hand back to Serena and almost completely ignoring the waitress. Serena smiled and they linked fingers again.

“Ordinarily yes,” the waitress replied. “But I figured, you know, you said it was a date, and I could make it a bit nicer for you.” Serena and Bernie both ripped their gazes from each other and remembered their manners.

“Sorry,” Serena said, her voice strong. “Well that's really very nice of you and totally unnecessary.”

“My pleasure,” the waitress said with a shrug.

“I've not even looked at the menu,” Bernie said, fumbling with a laminated folded card in its little holder.

“I'll come back in five. No rush.” With that she swept away.

“Well…” Bernie breathed, looking at the menu but stealing a glance at the flushed brunette opposite.

“There you go,” Serena replied, grabbing the second menu and awkwardly opening it with her left hand. She refused to let go of Bernie's just to read a menu. “Oh I got you coke, hope that's ok?”

“Great. I see you're on the Shiraz.”

“Actually it's black currant squash.” She blushed a bit. “I didn't feel like a drink tonight.”

Bernie wiggles her eyebrows. “In a wine glass?”

“Why not I am on a date, you know.”

They grinned at each other and perused the menu. When the waitress returned, they ordered without being too distracted by one another.

Once their food arrived Serena was annoyed to realise they would have to stop holding hands in order to be able to eat. Once the contact was lost she felt a little colder, but one glance from Bernie as she bit off the end of a French fry and chewed stoked the fire again.

They talked about day to day things at first whilst they ate, steering clear of the events of the day. Serena didn't want to bring up the fact that it had all almost gone horribly wrong, they'd nearly lost one another. She reckoned they'd talked about that quite enough thank you very much.

“How're the kids?” Serena asked after a while.

“Still on dearest daddy’s side. Can't blame them.” Bernie looked down at the plate in front of her.

“I'm sure they'll come round,” Serena reassured her. She reached for the other woman's hand across the table. Bernie looked up and smiled.

“I just wish I'd dealt with it better. I think Cameron's a little more on my side than Charlotte.”

“Well that's an improvement.”

“Thank god for small mercies.” Bernie looked at their hands, sadly distracted for a moment with thoughts of her children. “He figured out how I felt about you before I did.” The admission was out of the blue and Bernie blinked in surprise.

“Did he?”

“Apparently,” Bernie continued, thinking oh well might as well go for it, “I look at you like someone in love.”

Serena smiled gently at her. “You don't need to say it if you don't want to. It is after all simply a first date.”

“Ha,” Bernie replied. “I do though.” They smiled shyly again at one another. Bernie blushed as Serena's toothy grin. “Shut up.”

“I didn't say anything,” Serena teased, eyes glinting.

Bernie chuckled, squeezed Serena's hand and brought hers back to her fork to continue eating. “How's your salad?”

“Good thank you. And your burger?”

“Filling a hole,” Bernie said with her mouth full. They both snickered and went back to eating.

“Well if your kids are anything like my beloved daughter I'm sure they'll come running back when they want something. It is nice to be appreciated.”sarcasm dropped from Serena's words.

The waitress arrived to check everything was okay. She left with an over the shoulder smile.

“What fabulous service,” Serena commented with raised eyebrows.

“I expect she's angling for a good TripAdvisor review.”

“I expect she's angling for a smile from you, Bernie.” Serena grinned at Bernie's blush. “She's certainly not giving us extra attention for my benefit.”

“Shut up.”

“Goodness we are being the commanding type tonight aren't we?”

They finished off their meals in silence but with the occasional secret glance at one another. Serena sipped her black currant squash. Bernie trailed a fingertip absentmindedly around the rim of her coke glass. Serena swallowed. Was Bernie trying to render her unconscious?

“What are your plans for your day off tomorrow?” Bernie asked her, taking a sip of coke.

“Housework. Washing. Ironing. Very boring.”

Bernie smiled. “Well if there's a sudden emergency at work I'll try not to bother you from your exciting day.”

“Oh I don't think I'd mind.”

Bernie swallowed and opened her mouth to retort but any ability to speak right that moment had been snatched away from her. The flirty look on Serena's face and the tone in her voice was becoming sweet torture. Bernie had to look away, think about something else, something tedious or boring. She watched the rose bushes outside and the rain that was falling on each leaf, each petal. How had it gotten dark so quickly? What time was it?

Serena noticed, how could she not, and her face expressed her concern. “Are you okay? What's going on in that lovely head of yours?”

“I’m sorry,” Bernie replied still not catching her gaze. “It's just … sometimes …” She dropped her head, but her smile made Serena relax a bit. “The things you say … make it very difficult.”

Serena narrowed her eyes in skepticism. When Bernie lifted her head and gave her an apologetic shrug, accompanied by a random hand gesture, before she rubbed the back of her neck in embarrassment, Serena understood. She chuckled gently.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's ok. I think I just need to get used to the fact that at some point I'll probably make a fool of myself.”

“I'm sure you won't be alone,” Serena replied. “To be honest, it feels nice to be flirting with you without the need for bravado or pretence.”

The blonde laughed loudly. “That's true.” She looked at her watch. “Good god we've been talking for hours.” She downed her coke. “Are you sure you don't want a glass of wine or something?”

“No thank you.”

“I'm just…” Bernie indicated the toilets and got up, wondering if Serena watched her leave and trying not to think about the way she was walking too much.

Serena drained her squash. She carefully placed the glass back on the table and fleetingly considered dessert. Maybe another time. First date and all that.

They split the bill at Bernie's insistence and walked close together under Serena's umbrella to the car. The rain was heavy and Serena grinned as Bernie held the lapels of her jacket up to her cheeks as she rounded the car to the driver’s side, after insisting she was fine and Serena could keep her umbrella.

They drove in silence, until Bernie pulled up outside Serena's house. “Well I'll see you on Thursday,” Serena said, opening the door and putting up her umbrella. Bernie turned off the engine and jumped out her side, following Serena up the garden path and under the porch.

“Thank you for letting me take you out. I know it wasn't anything fancy but …” Bernie stood stock still, looked at the floor. Despite her earlier plan, she was suddenly worried and unsure.

“Well as first dates go …” Serena smiled, took both Bernie's hands and held them loosely. She stepped up to her. They looked at each other and Bernie inhaled deeply to say something a moment before the brunette leaned in and kissed her on the lips. Soft lips that didn’t mind she was a nervous mess in that moment. Lips that remembered earlier that day.

The kiss was by no means deep or full of desire, like Serena had assumed it would be. It was gentle and closed-mouthed, but it was certainly lingering. Serena dropped Bernie's hands and slipped them up over her shoulders, cupping the back of Bernie's neck with one hand, the other wrapping around her back. She felt Bernie let out a sigh, the breath she had been holding, before warm hands slid around Serena's waist, settling at the small of her back.

Bernie let out a small noise between a moan and a hum. They broke apart a moment and Serena grinned before they crushed their lips together again and laughed against the kiss. It was such a joyous feeling; everything felt sorted and worked out and they were together and that was okay. Stood together kissing and laughing and enjoying the moment, in the rain. Serena considered inviting Bernie in as she kissed her but that wouldn't be very first date appropriate. Besides so long as everything went well, they had time for all that.

When they finally broke apart the side of Serena’s coat was wet. There wasn't really enough room for two to be protected from the rain underneath her porch. They smiled shyly at one another, Bernie grasping Serena hands again. “I should let you get inside.”

“Suppose so.” Serena dropped a hand from Bernie's and cupped her jaw in a bold move, bringing their lips together again for a quick kiss. “Thank you for a lovely evening.”

“You said that already.”

“I know,” Serena breathed into the cool wet night. “Sorry.”

“I love you.” Bernie's words shocked the both of them. Serena caught her gaze.

“You too. See you on Thursday.”

Bernie touched Serena's cheek chastely before holding her coat close to her and marching down the garden path. Serena smiled at her retreating back, knowing she wasn't running, knowing they had so much more to experience together.

 


	3. Wild Geese That Fly

They had barely seen one another all day. Raf and Fletch had both noticed and had mostly been passing messages between their two favourite surgeons. One would leave in the lift to go down to a meeting or a consult, the other would arrive up the stairs from Pulses. Constantly missing one another all day, both appeared to be getting rather irate with each other. The one would blame the other for not being around and then the other would do the same. 

“This shift is not going to end well. I hope they have something planned for this evening,” Raf commented. Fletch shook his head. 

“Serena told me she had a scrabble night with Jason and I think Bernie has something on the box to watch.”

“This shift is not going to end well,” Raf repeated. He slapped a file down at the nurses station. “Think we ought to intervene?”

“And risk the wrath of either of them? No mate.”

“And if we did it secretly?”

“You go ahead. I'm having no part of this!” Fletch threw up his hands and walked away. 

Raf sighed. Nothing had been said as yet, so far no one officially knew that Serena and Bernie were an item. However, it was pretty obvious to him, and he considered himself a relatively sensitive and observant type of chap. He'd seen the glances between them. They were trying extra hard to conceal them and he'd probably never have noticed as a passerby or stranger. 

But he'd realised and Fletch had noticed something, they'd discussed it over a pint. For around a week, things had definitely changed. And Bernie hadn't gone to Ukraine either, for which Raf was very thankful. 

So there he was, left with a scheme to concoct, something to keep them in the same room together for at least a minute or two. He thought about texting them both but then what if their phones were on silent etc? So many things to consider. And, like Fletch, he really didn't want to get into trouble. 

By complete coincidence and royal good luck they both walked onto AAU together, albeit from different directions – Serena pushed in from the staircase and Bernie from the lift. With the ping of the doors closing, they both locked eyes and Raf breathed an internal sigh of relief. There were exactly 15 minutes before the end of the shift. 

He had a wild idea and just threw himself towards it. He approached the area right between them and held out a file to each. “Some charts to sign off ladies,” he said. “Feel free to use your office.”

They took the files. One followed the other into the office and Raf closed his hand into a joyous fist. 

Serena sat at her side of the office and opened the file. Bernie closed the blinds and dropped into her own chair at her desk. She looked knackered. Serena glanced up towards her. “Where on earth have you been all day?” She took out a pen. She sounded annoyed. 

Bernie's head shot up. “What? Consults every five minutes down in A and E? Various coffee runs to keep you topped up with caffeine? I could ask you the same.”

“Well at least you didn't have meetings on every floor. We are supposed to be joint leads of this department you know.” 

They looked at each other for a moment in silence before dropping their heads to their respective patient files. Both turned the files inside out, paper rustling everywhere. 

“Everything's signed,” Bernie muttered, bewildered, getting up and heading towards the door. 

“Mine too,” Serena replied, a similar look on her face. They look ones at each other and realised what had happened. “What game is Raf playing?” Serena asked, tone a lot more relaxed. Curiosity made Bernie move away from the door and check through the blinds. 

“He seems to be incredibly interested in us right this second,” she mused, watching their friend as he saw Bernie peek through and turned hastily away. 

“I haven't been much fun to work with today, I must admit,” Serena admitted. 

“I've felt tense. Like everything has been getting on my nerves.”

“I'm sorry about what I said.” Serena stood and moved behind Bernie next to the window. The blonde stood up straighter and leant back a little as Serena rested her chin on her shoulder. 

“Well hello Ms Campbell.” Serena slid her hands forwards around Bernie's waist. 

“Ah, now this is what I've been missing all day.”

They both closed their eyes and Bernie lay her arms atop the brunettes’ arms around her waist. She turned her head to the left and pressed her nose into Serena's cheek. “Do you think he gave us those charts on purpose?” Bernie mumbled, not really caring but with humour in her voice. 

“I expect so,” Serena hummed, squeezing her. “He's brave. A stunt like that.” 

“Mmmhmmm.” Bernie felt wrapped in warmth and safety, in Serena's arms. She trailed her fingers back and forth over Serena's forearm, soft skin, reached up under the sleeve of her shirt then back down to her wrist. 

Serena lifted her head a little from Bernie's shoulder and kissed the skin at Bernie's scrubs collar. She moved the blonde’s hair out of the way with her nose and kissed again. Bernie shivered and Serena felt it. “Sorry,” she whispered against Bernie's neck but didn't move away.

“What time is Jason expecting you tonight?” Bernie asked swallowing hard. 

“Mmmm, seven-thirty,” Serena sighed. “As much as I do like spending time with the boy, I'm not quite up to par when it comes to scrabble. A fact that he makes very clear. On a regular basis.” 

Bernie squeezed Serena's arms around her and lifted a hand to run her fingers through the brunette’s short hair. “I'm no good at scrabble either,” she said, smiling, turning round half to face Serena. Their lips met so gently and briefly. “I know we shouldn't do this at work.”

“No, we really shouldn't,” Serena replied in serious tones. Their lips met briefly again and Serena almost forgot the inappropriateness of it all. The door was not locked. Anyone could walk in. And what was that rule she had about not mixing one’s private and personal life?

They smiled at one another and Serena tucked a stray curl of hair behind Bernie's ear. Bernie shrugged and looked to the side. “We could always play as a team, two relatively intelligent surgeons…”

“Speak for yourself,” Serena scoffed pleasantly.

“… against the countdown king himself.”

Serena narrowed her eyes at Bernie. “Are you hankering for an invite, Bernie?”

Bernie's face clearly showed how appalled she was. “Oh, god, um …”

“I'll have to check with Jason. It's fish and chips night.” Serena slipped from behind her and went to her desk. 

Bernie stuttered and faltered. “Oh well, um, if it's ok. That w-would be lovely.” 

Serena raised a finger to silence her and brought her mobile phone to her ear. “Hello Jason. No everything is fine. No I’m not going to be late. I was just ringing to ask if it would be okay with you for Bernie to come for tea and scrabble tonight.” She smiled and raised her eyebrows and gave Bernie a thumbs up. “Oh no, I quite agree, I certainly do need the help. Alright that's enough.” 

Bernie snickered and started collecting her things. Well this was a turn up for the books. All she'd had planned was a night in front of the television watching a long-awaited documentary about migratory birds. She'd have to tape it. 

“So, fish and chips…” Bernie started. 

“I'll get them. If you park outside my house I'll only be a few minutes collecting them. Cod for you?”

“Fine. I'd like to contribute though,” Bernie insisted. She was watching Serena put on her coat and grab her bag and she hadn't thought to get changed into her own clothes yet. “Drinks. Or dessert? For the three of us.”

“Drinks. Well you can guess my preference, but it's fish and chips so Jason will want ginger beer. The no added sugar kind. He only drinks Sainsbury's own.” Serena looked up from her gathering of items and caught sight of Bernie watching her. “Everything … okay?” 

“No. I mean yes,” Bernie stammered, straightening up and grabbing her things clumsily. 

“Get changed and I'll see you at mine. Just knock if I'm not quite there yet, Jason will let you in.”

Serena left the office and Bernie followed closely but stopped off at the locker room to change. Once she got over the shock that Serena had essentially asked her round for dinner she smiled a bit. She rolled her eyes at her clothes – why hadn't she chosen something a bit more … sexy? Attractive? Black skinny jeans, a large burgundy jumper and a black shirt. She sighed. She supposed it would have to do. At least she'd be comfortable. 

She wished she'd brushed up on her two letter words though. She wanted to at least be able to play the game to some good standard. It had been years since she played scrabble. Some rainy holiday when the kids were still at school. Marcus hadn't played. Just her and the kids. A small sparkle of fun in her large bundle of unhappy memories. 

She pulled on her boots and practically ran off the ward and out to her car. 

After picking up a few bottles for the evening, Bernie parked outside Serena's house. Second time you've seen this house in a week, she thought. And this time you get to go inside. 

She hadn't been in Serena's home before. She hadn't had the opportunity or the invitation. They always met at Albie’s or Pulses. Or Wetherspoon’s – she smiled at that. So this would be their second date. Even though Jason was there. Not that she minded. He was part of the package and she wanted the whole Serena Campbell package, whatever it meant. 

Suddenly it occurred to her that Serena may not have explained to Jason their situation. She may not have yet told him they were … dating. Bernie bit her lip and sat in the car for a moment. She shook her head. Definitely Serena's job and prerogative. She wouldn't say anything. 

Getting out of the car Bernie retrieved the bag of bottles from the boot, briefly hoping Serena didn't think she was going to try to get her drunk (did you need to buy three bottles of Shiraz?). She took a deep breath, walked up the path and rung the doorbell. Jason opened the door. 

“Hello Bernie. Auntie Serena isn’t back yet. But it's okay I have permission from her to let in people we both know.”

Bernie smiled warmly at him. “Good. Hello, Jason.”

“I suppose we should shake hands as we haven't seen each other in 22 days.” 

“That long?” Bernie replied, feeling genuinely saddened by the fact. They shook hands. 

“It's okay thought because, Auntie Serena says, sometimes we don't see people for a long time but it doesn’t mean we don't care about them.”

“That's a nice thing to say.” Jason seem to remember he was still in the doorway and stepped back. Bernie lifted they'd bag of bottles. “I bought you ginger beer.” Jason led Bernie down the hallway to the kitchen. 

“No added sugar from Sainsbury's? I don't drink anything else. Apart from hot chocolate. That's my pre-bedtime drink.”

“That's right,” Bernie said, putting the bag on the kitchen table and taking out Jason's bottle. She showed it to him. He smiled. 

“That's the one. It really is the best ginger beer I've ever tasted.” He went across to the cupboard. Bernie looked round, taking in the smart cooker, fridge, dish washer. Everything was neatly collected in groups. Utensils, mugs on the mug tree, a diverse cluster of oils and dressings. Like an Italian kitchen, or something out of a posh film. 

“I suppose because you're here we will need another plate. Do you use a knife and fork with fish and chips? Auntie Serena says you should always use a knife and fork for an evening meal, unless it's sandwiches. She says it's part of being an upstanding citizen.”

Bernie laughed out loud. “I think I had better have them then. If Auntie Serena thinks it's important.”

“Okay then. I'm in charge of laying the table. You can open my ginger beer and pour it if you like.” He pointed to a glass on the table. “That's my glass.”

“Okay.” Bernie opened the bottle and poured Jason’s drink. She also opened one of the bottles of red, to breathe. She was still wearing her coat but figured with a smile that Jason wouldn't have noticed. “I'd like to take my coat off, Jason. Is there somewhere I can put it?”

“In the hallway. Next to mine if you like.”

She went into the hallway and found four pegs. She recognised a coat and scarf of Serena's, and Jason’s jacket. She hung her coat in between them. She put her bag on the peg as well. 

She stepped back from the pegs and just looked at them for a while, three coats all together. She liked the way they looked, all folded over each other and touching. She closed her eyes and laughed inwardly at herself. Pull it together, Major, she thought, shaking her head. Stop daydreaming. 

The door opening next to her made her jump a bit and she smiled as Serena battled her way through the door with keys and bags of food and her own handbag in tow. Bernie immediately held out her hands for something and Serena smiled. “Oh good, you're here.” She shouted into the kitchen. “I hope the table is set, Jason?”

“Yes Auntie Serena,” he shouted back. Serena smiled. 

“Well trained,” she commented in a quiet voice, handing Bernie the bags of food. “Thank you,” she said, quickly hanging her coat and bag up before following Bernie into the kitchen. “Thank you, Jason.”

“You're welcome.” He didn't even look at his watch. “You were a lot longer than usual.”

“There was a queue. Apparently everyone wants to eat fish and chips tonight.” Serena looked at the bottles on the kitchen table. “That's rather a lot of wine, Bernie.”

“I know. I …” she gestured randomly, “I thought you might like a choice.”

Serena laughed as she went through them. “But they're all the same,” she teased, touching Bernie's arm in affection, not really annoyed or angry or anything, simply amused. Bernie smiled with relief. 

They ate and drank together at the table, Serena asking Jason about his day at college and Jason telling them both about some computer software he was helping his friend with. Neither of them understood much of what he said, but they nodded and made the appropriate noises anyway. It seemed to keep Jason happy. 

After a while of chatting, Bernie started to notice small glances between Jason and his aunt, like they had a secret between them. She looked from one to the other and Serena laughed a bit. “What?” Bernie asked, feeling a bit paranoid. 

“Oh it's nothing it's just …” Serena laughed a bit. Jason grinned widely. 

“You bought a huge bottle of ginger beer instead of the two cans I usually have.”

Why they both found this funny was beyond Bernie's comprehension, but she was slightly glad she wasn't in either of their bad books. 

“Well, I will just have to help you drink it. I'm going to need to drive home after scrabble anyway.” Bernie glanced at Serena briefly and caught a slight look of disappointment in her eyes. Bernie smiled. “Is that okay?” She asked Jason. 

“That's fine. One can is around 330 millilitres and so a two litre bottle should contain six cans. So you can have the extra four cans if you like.” 

Bernie blinked. “Okay.” Jason grinned again, and he and Serena went back to chatting about their days. 

Bernie watched them, ate her fish and chips, and listened. It was an easy way the brunette and her nephew got on these days. Still some gentle admonishing from Serena if Jason expressed a thought that was inappropriate but he seems to take each challenge of his ybehaviour in a thoughtful way. And she was kind with it. 

Bernie wondered if they'd move in together at some point, all live together, and how that would be. It was a big old house just for the two of them at the moment, and Bernie already felt at home here. She leant her chin in her left hand and absentmindedly ate chips with her right. She watched Serena continue to use her knife and fork even for the last crunchy chips on her plate. 

They cleared away. Serena and Jason had their own rhythm of clearing the table and Bernie felt a bit lost. She went to the counter to pour Serena another glass of wine, before trying to mentally calculate how much Jason had drunk, whether he would like another one. In the end she just asked. 

“One more glass please, Bernie,” he replied, stooping down to fill the dishwasher. “And you will have to drink the rest because I don't like flat ginger beer.”

She smiled and drained her own wine before handing her empty glass to Serena. Their fingers brushed one another and their eyes locked. Serena's eyes shone a little shyly at her. Bernie longed to reach out for her but Jason was there and she didn't want to make Serena feel uncomfortable. Bernie dropped her hand and reached into the glass-fronted cupboard for a clean glass for herself.

Table cleared, surfaces wipes, packets in the bin, Jason went to get the scrabble board from upstairs whilst Serena and Bernie sat next to one another on the three-seater sofa. Bernie unzipped her boots and pulled them off so she could bring her socked feet up under herself. Serena looked over her shoulder through the kitchen and hallway, before taking Bernie's jaw and kissing her quickly. “I'm sorry, I should have told him, explained to him.” 

“It's okay,” Bernie replied touching her face and running the same hand down her neck a bit. “There's no rush.”

“I feel like a bad aunt,” Serena hissed. Bernie shook her head. 

Jason returned and they pulled the coffee table up close. Jason grabbed his beanbag and settled onto it across from them. 

They were sitting close together, Bernie leaning towards Serena, working as a team. On the one time Bernie managed a triple word score, they'd done a miniature high-five and laughed. Jason seemed happy enough. Bernie wondered if he was enjoying the slightly elevated challenge. 

As they played, Bernie began to realise how deep the young man’s mind actually went with certain things. Even their two brains couldn't quite compete, but from Serena's pleased attitude, Bernie assumed two heads were better than one. In the end they only lost by fifty points, which Serena seemed practically joyous about. 

Jason packed away the scrabble board and grinned. “Its nearly eight o’clock,” he stated, fitting the lid onto the box. “Usually Auntie Serena puts on her pyjamas now.” He looked quizzically at his aunt. 

“We have company, Jason.”

“But you always put on your pyjamas when we watch TV after scrabble.” Serena smiled at her nephew. 

“Not tonight,” she said, getting up to refill her glass. 

“I don't mind,” Bernie said, an attempt at nonchalance. “If it's what you do…”

Jason looked between them. “That's settled then.” He took the scrabble board upstairs. “Hurry up,” he shouted down the stairs. “The documentary starts at eight.”

Serena grinned in a frustrated way and unscrewed the wine bottle. “Do you mind? It's taken me this long to stop him swanning about the house in his boxers.”

Bernie smiled and shrugged. “Who am I to disrupt your routine?”

“I think you disrupted my routine a long time ago, Bernie.” Bernie was suddenly behind her and slid her arms around her waist from behind. The reversal of their earlier embrace was not lost on Serena. Bernie took a chance and pushed her hips against Serena's behind, against the work surface, causing the brunette to gasp a bit. 

“I'd like to see you in your pyjamas,” Bernie breathed against her ear. Serena turned and looked up at her, hands up at her neck, playing with the blonde curls. 

“Well you've done it now. Don't be surprised if he comes down in his underwear.” Bernie pressed her lips to Serena's and stepped back. 

“Go on. Better not miss the beginning of whatever he wants to watch.”

Serena handed her the still-empty glass and strode away towards the stairs. Bernie grinned to herself. Serena in her pyjamas. Fantastic. She poured Serena a healthy helping of Shiraz before adding ginger beer to her own glass. 

She placed the glasses next to each other on the coffee table, on coasters of course. She studied the remote controls and figured out how to turn the TV on at least. Jason bounded in then and he took the remote from her. “It's on BBC two. Migratory birds.”

“Oh I actually wanted to watch that,” Bernie replied, surprised. They grinned at one another. “What a coincidence.”

“No it's not. But it's nice we like the same things.” Bernie nodded. “Usually, I sit in the three-seater and Auntie Serena sits in the two-seater, because my legs are longer than hers. But today I think you should have the three-seater, as there are two of you and you want to sit together.”

Did that mean he knew? Probably not, Bernie thought, it was just because they'd been sitting close to one another during the scrabble game. 

“Thank you,” Bernie told him and curled up in the corner of the sofa, grabbing a cushion to hold in a cunning plan to create a barrier between herself and Serena when she finally came down. She needed something to protect the brunette against her apparently raging hormones. 

Serena didn't take long to get ready for bed. The credits were just beginning to roll and Jason's eyes were fixed on the screen when she walked in, wearing pale blue, soft-looking pyjamas, under a big burgundy bathrobe that tied at the waist. She smiled, a little embarrassed, but Bernie gave her a look that said ‘you have nothing to worry about’, and Serena sat in the opposite corner of the sofa, a little more relaxed. 

Bernie couldn't help it, and Jason was engrossed in the documentary. She held out a hand towards Serena, so far away on that long sofa. Serena shifted towards her and placed a hand on Bernie's knee. Bernie lay her hand over the hand on her knee and interlaced the fingers of her other hand underneath Serena's. 

“I have excellent peripheral vision,” Jason stated, not looking away from the TV. “And I know you're together because I talked to Raf this morning and he said you might need some time alone.”

Both women blinked. “Jason,” Serena said, unable to form a complete sentence. She looked so sorry. 

“It's okay, Auntie Serena,” Jason said turning for a moment to look at them. “It doesn't bother me.” He went back to the programme. “I'll be going up to bed after this programme so you can have some time alone together then.”

“That's very kind,” Bernie said, watching Serena carefully as her expression went from surprise, to bewilderment, to embarrassed acceptance.

Jason went back to watching his geese. Serena looked away for a minute or two, focussing on the tree outside her living room window. Bernie gave her space, didn't push her. Serena shuddered a bit. She had such a reputation and set of morals to uphold and with the addition of Jason and his strange way of accepting the world, she hadn't been sure how he would react to this. The young man had surprised her. Sometimes she valued his directness, his straight-forward way of expressing things. Sometimes it was so much easier than talking in circles and metaphors. 

He had said he was okay with it and she supposed she would have to discuss it with him in more detail at some point. Serena had hoped that he wouldn't have an issue with her dating Bernie, being with Bernie, whatever that meant to him, but she had also felt so frightened that the knowledge would confuse him, or, worse, scare him. A break of their delicate routine, someone else to consider in their scheduled life. 

Bernie's fingers started smoothing against her knuckles and tracing her palm. Serena caught her gaze and decided to take a leap. Objectively speaking, Jason needed a good role model for relationships. Studies show that children who see their parents in a loving and affectionate relationship find it easier to develop stable relationships of their own. Her scientific mind shrugged. Any display of affectionate, healthy contact was for Jason's benefit. 

Serena leapt. She shifted closer to Bernie, moved the pillow she still cuddled close to her chest out of the way and lay down sideways between Bernie and the sofa back. She carefully slipped her own left arm around her middle, allowing Bernie's left arm to creep behind her back, elbow bending up and hand resting by her temple. Serena lay her cheek against Bernie's collarbone and bent her top knee a bit, watching Bernie stretch her legs out along the sofa, socked feet (pink fluffy socks, which clashed horribly with her burgundy jumper, Serena noted) crossing at the edge of the sofa cushions. 

They both seemed to sigh simultaneously. Bernie's right hand smoothed against Serena's arm around her waist. Bernie took a chance and bent a little to kiss the top of the brunette’s head, inhaling deeply. Apple and mint, or something. Bernie didn't care, it smelled like Serena. She smelled like heaven. 

Bernie watched the documentary. Although she'd missed the first twenty minutes, she caught up and enjoyed the softly spoken commentary, the relaxing shots of geese and other migratory birds flying in detailed V formations. The relaxing music the BBC had chosen to accompany the documentary made her eyes feel heavy, and although she was overwhelmingly comfortable and happy, she didn't allow herself to fall asleep. 

The same could not be said for the woman cuddled in her arms however. Bernie felt her fall into sleep, breathing becoming deep and eyes closing against her front. She stroked her hair a bit, very gently, not wanting to disturb her. Their drinks were forgotten on the table. Bernie turned back to the documentary, unable to keep the smile from off her own face. 

When the documentary finished, Jason and Bernie looked at one another. Bernie put a finger to her lips and Jason nodded. “Good night Bernie,” he whispered, turning the TV off. “Please make sure she gets into bed. She complains if she falls asleep on the sofa that her back hurts.” Bernie mouthed ‘okay’ to him and he retreated out through the kitchen and upstairs. 

Bernie gazed down at the woman in her arms. After a few minutes, she went back to sweeping the hair back from Serena's face with her fingertips, leant in a little and snuck her nose into the short hair at Serena forehead. Serena made a small noise at the contact, squeezed Bernie around the middle, and slowly woke. 

Serena lifted her head from Bernie's shoulder, but Bernie put patted her shoulder and coaxed her back down again. “I'm far too warm for you to go anywhere,” Bernie breathed. 

“Ah, I see, you only want me for my body heat.” Serena smiled against her and thumbed the soft wool of Bernie's jumper, right by her waist.

“Great choice of nightwear, by the way,” Bernie hummed, dropping her hand to the soft robe covering Serena's shoulder. “Very flattering.”

“Oh this old thing?” Serena scoffed quietly, but couldn't help her blush. She closed her eyes against Bernie's front and inhaled deeply as Bernie's hand lifted again to caress her neck. 

“Sorry,” Bernie breathed, laying her palm flat on Serena's hair, and Serena pushed up to look at her. 

“What on earth for?”

“I'm trying … really hard … to behave myself.” 

Serena raised an eyebrow with a smile. “Do you need to?” Her gaze dropped to Bernie's lips and her hand continued to caress Bernie's waist, maybe sweeping a little higher than before. Bernie inhaled and tried to push away the tingling feelings that washed over her suddenly. 

“Yes. And looking at me like that isn't helping.”

“Sorry.” Serena leant towards her and kissed right next to her lips, then further up to her cheekbone. 

“Seriously, I don't think I can …” Her hands slid automatically up under the soft bathrobe, parting it and undoing the tie, to hold Serena's waist as their lips met. Bernie moaned quietly, before returning the kiss with vigour. Serena surprised herself by pushing the blonde back into the cushions, one forearm holding herself up on the arm of the sofa, the fingers of the other combing through Bernie's hair by her ear. 

For the first time between then the kiss deepened and Serena felt a rush of emotion and warmth through her whole body. Lips parted, tongues swept across teeth and each other. Deepened breathing accompanied the soft rustling of hands sweeping clothing. Serena's hand at her neck trailed down to finger the collar of her shirt which peeked above the burgundy wool. Bernie's thumbs rubbed Serena's hips through her pyjamas. She forced them to stay there. 

They broke apart, breathing heavily and grinned at one another. Bernie shuddered. “We n-need to stop,” she stuttered, and smiled as Serena nodded. 

“I know.” 

“It's just very …” Bernie shivered again and reached up to stroke Serena's face. Serena smiled down at her. 

“I know.”

Bernie sat up a little and put her arm round Serena's back. “Second date huh?” Bernie managed, eyes wide in comprehension. 

Serena chuckled. “I feel like a teenager,” she admitted, a flush creeping up her face. 

“I should go,” Bernie admitted sadly. 

“Just a few more minutes?” Serena breathed, hands touching the back of Bernie's neck, grasping her shoulder. Bernie rolled her eyes through a smile. 

“Okay, but I'm serious. I don't want to … I want to wait.”

“No problem,” Serena just smiled toothily and leaned in close, brushing her lips under Bernie's chin. 

“Maybe not for you.” They kissed again but with less passion and more softness than before. They rested sideways against the back of the sofa, lips teasing, noses touching. They just rested there for a few minutes, lips brushing, fingers making small caresses on cheeks and waists. 

Serena wanted to go to sleep like this, to have Bernie in her bed for nothing more than these soft kisses for now. Falling asleep against her had felt so safe and so warm. She wanted to climb into her arms and lie her head against her shoulder and just drift. 

But she understood why Bernie was keeping it slow and keeping it chaste. There was no doubt in her mind that when they finally came to sleeping together it would be anything but chaste. She'd thought about it a lot these past few days, especially since their kiss goodnight on her porch. She often lay in bed at night and thought about it, and imagined Bernie's hand where her own found its way. 

Opening her eyes, Serena broke the soft kisses and took Bernie's hands to hold in her own. “Are you sure you don't want to stay?” They both blushed but grinned. “There is room for the both of us in my bed, you know.”

“I'm sure there is,” Bernie replied laughing. “But I'm going to go home.”

“Okay. Dinner though? Saturday?”

“My turn I think.”

“Okay.” Serena's heart swelled as Bernie sat up from leaning sideways and shook her head to get rid of whatever inappropriate thoughts were lingering. “Love you,” she breathed tentatively. 

Bernie leant her elbows on her knees and turned her head towards her. “Love you too,” she replied. She stood. Serena followed her to the pegs where Bernie gathered her things. “Thanks for dinner.”

“You are very welcome.”

“You barely drunk half a bottle of the Shiraz I got you.”

“It'll keep.” Serena caught Bernie's waist and pulled her in. Their lips were millimetres apart. “Who needs wine when the great Bernie Wolfe kisses you on the couch?”

“Er I think you kissed me, actually,” Bernie replied, capturing Serena's lips between her own. Their arms slid around one another. They laughed against one another’s lips and broke apart. “Goodnight.” Bernie pushed the handle on the door and swept out into the night. 

“Goodnight.” Serena wrapped her robe around herself and watched Bernie walk down her path. Bernie turned at the gate and gazed over her shoulder for a moment, before nodding to herself in satisfaction and leaving. 

Serena breathed out an elated sigh and closed the door. She noticed the ginger beer left discarded on her coffee table, barely drunk. She smiled affectionately and cleared it away, feeling a bit sorry when she watched the golden liquid disappear down the drain. She took her untouched wine and mobile phone upstairs with her. 

She settled herself in bed and turned on her small TV to something banal. She rested a hand on her midriff and tried not to imagine Bernie's hands on her. Twenty minutes later, her phone buzzed, she grinned when she saw who had texted her. 

“Hope you sleep well. I'll be thinking of you. Night.”

Her grin broadened as she read the text, wondering in what capacity Bernie would be thinking about her and allowing herself a cheeky though or two about that. 

Across town, Bernie was getting ready for bed. Her phone buzzed. A response?

“Thinking of you too. Night.” She smiled.


	4. Warm Woollen Mittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mature audiences only please ;)

It was October and oddly cold. Bernie got out of her car for the day shift, looking forward to having a few minutes to catch up with Serena before she went home. Serena had been on the night shift, a relatively rare occurrence unless she was on call, and Bernie had missed her at work yesterday. And the day before. 

They'd shared a few texts. Full of love and promise and a little sauciness. They still hadn't yet slept in the same bed and Bernie felt quite proud of herself for that. Date three was already over, a very nice dinner at Bernie's flat with quite a few glasses of wine and easy banter. Bernie had cooked them lasagne, simple but from scratch, trying to impress Serena and taking a long time over the preparation but not letting on the fact, until Serena coaxed it out of her. Yet another longing goodnight kiss by Bernie's door this time, hands searching on top of clothing to create a moan or two here and there. Date four felt right around the corner. Had they missed their opportunity though - wasn't the third date the point at which you were supposed to sleep together? 

Bernie hadn't actually dated since she was in college. What she had with Alex wasn't exactly dating. They hadn't been out together, held hands in public, bought each other dinner. She remembered, it had simply been raw, strained, impassioned encounters, in secret, with no room for reflection until Bernie had come home and had only hated herself for everything. 

She checked her phone as she got out of the car and found a text from the lovely vascular surgeon. 

“Need you.”

Bernie frowned, suddenly worried. That wasn't an admission of hunger or lust, Serena was always more descriptive than that. Her chest hurt. She leapt out of the car and practically ran in through the staff entrance. 

On walking onto AAU, her breath hitched further. Raf was at their office door, stood with his face pressed against the wood. Fletch caught Bernie's arm and gave her a panicked look. “We've got a problem.”

“What is it?” Bernie asked, looking desperately over to their office where Raf appeared to be pushing against the door. She blanched as she noticed the police officers to the side. “What the hell is going on?”

“Mother and daughter both died in an RTC, one at the scene, one in theatre. Father is blaming Serena and has locked them both in your office and shut the blinds.”

Bernie wasn't sure what she said but from Fletch’s expression it must have been somewhat expletive. She was immediately at the door, trying the handle, banging her fist against it and roughly being pulled back from it by Raf. “Wait, Bernie,” he said in a hiss. 

“What in the … is she okay, has he got a weapon, what's happening in there…?” 

A male angry voice piped up then, loud but too muffled to be understood outside the confines of the office. Bernie tried again to get to the door but Raf grabbed her shoulders. “You don't even know him, I've got this. Go stand over there.” There was a gathering of people at the nurses station and Bernie hesitated before starting to shake. Fletch came over to hold her arm steady and lead her to a chair behind the desk. 

“Mr Thomas please let me in,” Raf was saying. “Let's talk about this. I understand you're hurting right now, but for everyone's sake you need to come out so we can sort it.”

Bernie fiddled with her hands, pulled at her hair, patted her thighs. Worry coursed through her veins. She could think of nothing else. Why hadn't she seen that text earlier? Why hadn't she stopped this? It was all her fault. 

The police officers were next to try. She listened to them try to reason. They explained that if Mr Thomas didn't let them in, they would break the door down. Bernie was gripping the desk, perched on the edge of the swivel chair. It was all her fault. 

After a moment of conferring, they all looked up sharply as an almighty bang sounded from inside the office. Almost all in one movement, Bernie was on her feet and round the side of the nurses station, but the officers were there before her, ramming the door in that apparently trained way they had, two, three times before the door gave way. They grabbed the man inside, who was red faced and had raised fists and Bernie slipped by them into the office. She shut the door behind her. 

“Serena?” The brunette was curled in the floor, arms over her head, shaking uncontrollably. “Oh god, are you okay, are you hurt, did he hurt you?” She crouched down on the floor in front of her, held her hands out. 

“Ber-“ she couldn't manage anymore, tears were falling down her face when she finally looked up. She cried openly. 

“Shh I've got you,” Bernie breathed, kneeling down before her on the floor, cupping her face. She inspected every inch of Serena she could see, turning her head from one side to the other, pulling back her collar on both sides and at the back, turning each hand over in her own. Eventually, finally satisfied the woman she cared about the most was physically unhurt, she tilted Serena's face up to lock their eyes. 

“Are you okay? What was that crash?”

“He pushed me, I fell against the cabinet. I'm okay.” Serena's sobs had lessened a touch, just breathy hitches now. She shuddered. Serena lifted her hands to Bernie's cheeks. “I was so … I thought he was going to … he was threatening to …” 

“I'm going to kill him.”

“No you're not,” Serena breathed, laughing a bit despite herself. Bernie's eyes were completely serious, she almost stood but Serena kept her hands on her cheeks. “Please.”

Bernie sat back on her heels and lifted Serena toward her, the brunette falling against her front. “I've got you,” she whispered again, burying her face in Serena hair, wrapping her arms around her back. Serena clutched at Bernie's jacket lapels. She turned her face between Bernie's shoulder blades. She shuddered. 

They sat there on the floor together and eventually Serena's breathing calmed and she stopped shaking. She let go of Bernie's jacket and slipped her arms around Bernie's back. Bernie held her close, a hand in her hair. 

“What happened?” Bernie whispered, stroking her hair and resting her chin atop Serena's head. 

“He was waiting in the relatives room. Stupid, I should have taken someone in with me. His daughter, eight years old, we must have spent two and a half hours trying to find where the hell she was bleeding from. In the end there was too much damage. 

“Anyway I went in to break the news. He must have been drinking. He said I'd … killed her … he said it was me, that it was my fault. I asked him to lower his voice. He refused. I told him I would give him some time and left. He followed me out. I tried to talk him down, Fletch came to help but to be honest I'm not sure whether he didn't exacerbate the situation. You know what he's like. 

“And then Mr Thomas just flew at me, pushed me into here… he wouldn't stop shouting and posturing and …”

“It's ok now,” Bernie breathed. “Im here and you don't need to worry about anything.”

“I'll have to talk to the police, make a statement.” Bernie looked down and Serena leaned back from her embrace. 

“I'm sure that could wait.”

A knock at the door. “Ladies.” Raf opened the door a crack. “Are we okay in here?” Serena cleared her throat but didn't move off Bernie's lap. 

“Come … come in.” 

Raf entered and closed the door behind him. “Are you hurt Serena?”

“Don't worry,” Serena said trying to smile, to reassure him, “Ms Wolfe has assessed me and I think I'll live.” 

“Have they arrested him?” Bernie barked at Raf and Raf blinked. 

“Of course they have,” he said surprised. 

“Good.” Serena cupped Bernie's cheek again and swept her cheek with her thumb. 

“I'm sorry,” Raf said. “I should have been watching more closely. I didn't realise he was so upset.” He looked guiltily at them both. 

“He was a bit more than upset,” Serena said with gritted teeth. “It's my fault for putting myself in that position. I should have known better.”

“Fletch is beating himself up a bit, Love,” Raf said. 

“I think we need a debrief,” Serena said, getting up from Bernie's lap, brushing down the fronts of her trousers. 

“That can wait.” They all blinked, Bernie and Raf had said the same words in unison. Serena actually smiled a bit. 

“Well it's nice to see consensus in the department,” she said, wryly. 

“You need to go home,” Raf said, “regardless of this, you've had a busy night.”

“Yes, thank you Raf.”

“I must insist,” Bernie's said, hand coming to grasp Serena's upper arm. “We can deal with it all here.” Serena smiled warmly and affectionately at her. 

“If you're sure,” she almost admonished, narrowing her eyes a bit. 

Raf piped up. “I think we've probably got it covered. Bernie can talk to the staff, I'll talk to Fletch and get the paperwork ready for you to complete tomorrow morning.”

“Okay,” Serena sighed, putting a hand to her head. Bernie became concerned and touched Serena's chin, looking for signs of bruising. “I'm fine, stop fussing.”

“Sorry,” Bernie breathed. 

“I'll leave you to it,” Raf said. Before he ducked out of the room he said. “I wouldn't be a good doctor if I didn't insist you didn't drive yourself home, Serena.”

“Oh what a load of fuss,” Serena scoffed, further sweeping her hands down her blouse to dust off invisible dirt. 

“He's right though.” Bernie's words were soft and tender. Serena sighed. “Let me just go check with the team and then I'll drive you home.”

“That's very sweet of you,” Serena hummed, smiling now. “And completely unnecessary.”

“Who are we to go against doctor’s orders?” Bernie teased gently. She kissed Serena’s cheek and left the office. 

After various conversations with Fletch, Morven and the nurses, Bernie reentered the office. “Morven’s going to stay an extra hour whilst I run you … oh Serena.”

Serena was sitting at her desk, her hands over her face. “I'm just being silly,” she sobbed. Bernie leant against the desk in front of her and smoothed her shoulders. 

“You're not. Not at all.” Serena leaned forward into Bernie's arms, rested her head against the army medics flat tummy. Bernie rubbed her shoulder. “Come on. Let me take you home.” Serena nodded and wiped her eyes, before standing and allowing Bernie to slide an arm round her back and her out of the office. 

Bernie mouthed ‘thank you’ to Morvern, who gave her a sad smile, a nod, and a thumbs up. 

They walked outside together, Serena leant her head against Bernie's shoulder a bit. “God it's freezing. Who knew seven a.m. could be so cold.” She rubbed her hands together. “I should have brought gloves.”

“Here,” Bernie murmured, standing still and digging in her own pockets. “Borrow mine.”

She pulled out a huge fluffy pair of black mittens. Serena all but laughed out loud. “Well they are fabulous, Bernie.” She pulled them on. Bernie took her own scarf off, which matched the mittens, wrapped it round Serena's neck loosely. “Don't you take care of me?” Serena said, blushing. 

“Always,” Bernie told her, smiling gently. Serena took Bernie's hand. Bernie looked round, conscious they were no longer in the privacy of their office. 

“There's nobody about. And I'm in no state to care,” Serena said thoughtfully. “Let them look. What have they never seen two women holding hands?”

“I do worry that you'll feel differently in the cold light of day tomorrow,” Bernie commented. 

“I think it's well past time to tell people, don't you?” Bernie smiled. 

“Only if you're sure.”

“Everyone knows anyway,” Serena teased, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Do they?” Bernie sounded and looked genuinely shocked as they approached her car. 

“I think you may have clued them in by your behaviour this morning.” Serena sounded stern but Bernie knew she wasn't serious. “My brave army medic. I heard Raf telling you to stop breaking the bloody door down.”

Bernie opened the car door for Serena, a hand at her back whilst she got in. She watched Serena grimace a moment as she got in, but pushed it out of her mind. She's fine, she said she was fine. It's probably nothing. 

They drove in silence for a few minutes, Serena inspecting the mittens Bernie had lent her with some humour. “They're sparkly.”

“So’s the scarf,” Bernie said smiling, eyes on the road. 

“Where on earth did you get them from?”

“Charlotte. Christmas present last year. A desperate effort to make me more girly, I think.” They chuckled. 

“I think you’re girly,” Serena said, her hands opening and closing in front of her, like shadow puppets. “Maybe not in the classic sense. But then who wants to be classically anything?”

They went quiet and Bernie started to tense up. That text. Serena had called out for her and Bernie hadn’t been there to protect her. 

“I'm sorry I wasn't there when you text me.”

“What?” Serena was still looking at the mittens. 

“When you text me this morning. Saying you needed me. I'm sorry I wasn't there, maybe I could have stopped him.”

To Bernie's surprise, Serena smiled. “Are you seriously suggesting that whilst being threatened by a man twice my size, you think I'd take the time to send you a text?” Bernie blinked. 

“Was that not …?”

“No, of course not.” Serena got out her phone, had to take off a mitten to access her messages. “At yes, I believe I sent that after coming out of theatre. Terribly needy I know, but one does feel a little vulnerable at six in the morning. Especially after losing a child so young.” 

“So, it was before you went in to speak with the father?” Bernie asked, hope and relief in her shaky voice. 

“Yes. Oh Bernie, you have such a guilty conscience.” Serena put the mitten back on and placed her hand on top of Bernie's on the gear stick. “I promise it wasn't your fault.” Bernie held her hand for a moment before needing to break the contact to drive. 

When they arrived at Serena's, Bernie went round to open the door for the brunette again. “I'm not the bloody queen, you know,” Serena said, a twinge of irritation in her voice.

“That's a matter of opinion,” Bernie said under her breath. She smiled and followed Serena up her path. 

“Jason should be on his way to college now,” Serena mused whilst looking for her keys. She let them both in. “He's out for dinner too - they're going to McDonalds, of all places. After that he's staying at Alan's.”

“That's a shame. I was hoping to leave him with clear instructions relating to making sure you stayed in bed and regular cups of tea.”

“I'm sure I'll be fine.” Serena hung up her coat and bag. Bernie did the same and Serena raised her eyebrows. “I thought Morven was only covering for you for an hour.”

“She said she didn't mind a bit longer,” Bernie said. 

“Well, thank you for these,” Serena said, unwinding the scarf from her neck and handing that plus the mittens over. 

“They look so much better on you. Keep them.”

“I can't do that.”

“I insist.” Bernie boldly moving through into Serena's kitchen and finding a mug, filling the kettle. “Hot chocolate?”

“I can cater for myself you know,” Serena said, sternly, stuffing the mittens into her coat pockets, the scarf hung on the same peg as her coat. She went into the kitchen and over to the counter. Bernie caught her hands before she could take over the task. 

“Just. Let me do this.” Serena's eyes were wet again, and she relented. She suddenly looked tired. She sat at the kitchen table. “Did you get any time for a kip?” Bernie asked. 

“No. Bloody night shifts, I'm too old for them.”

“Were not kids anymore,” Bernie remarked with a smile, making up the drink. “I struggle with nights and I'm used to staying up.” She smiled back at the brunette. “Army tradition. Anyone who goes to bed before eleven whilst on tour has to clean the toilets the next day.”

“Really? Well, call me chief of the latrines then!” They chuckled together and Bernie handed Serena her hot chocolate before sitting at the table as well. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome. Why don't you take it up to bed with you.”

“Good idea. I've got to go to the bank this afternoon, need to get a good sleep in this morning. Oh god my car’s still at work. Oh well, it's not far. I could do with exercise.” 

Serena stood and took the drink out of the kitchen. Bernie sat with her hands clasped on the table. She wanted to stay for a few minutes, at least until she felt Serena might be in bed and asleep. Maybe fifteen minutes, then she would leave. 

Half way up the stairs Serena frowned. “Well come on then, Major. At the double.”

Bernie's eyebrows hit her hairline and she scrabbled to stand, walked into the hallway and up the stairs after her. “I thought…”

“Well you thought wrong.”

She'd not been upstairs before. Her heart quickened in her chest, anxiety making her hands shake. Bernie stopped outside Serena's bedroom door and leant against the doorframe, looking at the floor. Serena set her mug down on her bedside table and lifted her pillow to get her pyjamas. 

Bernie considered the décor. Pale blue and yellow, pale oak furniture, huge bed, soft pillows and duvet, comfortable looking patchwork throw. Style and taste, but comfort too. 

“Just getting ready,” Serena said, indicating the en suite. “Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”

Bernie nodded without really hearing and continued to scan the room. Small ornaments on various surfaces. Homely lamps on either side of the bed. A fluffy-looking armchair with a scarf thrown neatly over the back. 

She looked more closely at the bed. One pillow was flatter than the other, the right one. She found it amusing that Serena slept on the right side. Bernie slept on the left. She closed her eyes briefly and imagined how it would feel to lie in bed with Serena, cuddle up close to her, feel her soft body wrapped around her …

“I thought I suggested you make yourself comfortable?” 

Bernie's eyes flew open and a hard blush covered her face. “I … I wasn't sure…”

Serena smiled gently at her. “I do expect a little cuddle before I go to sleep you know. Otherwise you may as well have stayed at work.”

“Good point.” Bernie still didn't move. “Maybe Fletch should have brought you home.”

“Oh don't be such a spoil sport. Come on,” Serena said, holding out a hand as she slipped beneath the duvet, “come and keep me warm for a few minutes before you return to the madhouse.”

Bernie rounded the bed to the left side, kicked off her boots and sat with her feet up on top of the covers. Serena turned away from her and Bernie felt a pang of disappointment before the brunette reached back towards her and caught her hand, pulling it over her waist. “Come on. Be my big spoon, or whatever the phrase is.”

Bernie lay down on her side and cuddled up to Serena back. She kissed the back of her neck. 

“I can't stay long,” Bernie breathed. 

“I know. It's ok.” 

“I wish I could stay all day.” Bernie swallowed and inhaled in embarrassment. “I didn't mean…”

“Shhh. Thank you for taking care of me,” Serena whispered, shivering a bit. 

“I know it's only … well. Been a few weeks. But I've always got your back. And I will always take care of you.” Bernie's left hand lay between them. Her other arm bent around Serena's middle, pulling her closer, hand resting on the pillow by Serena's cheek. 

“Well, the feeling is mutual.” Serena kissed the back of Bernie's hand before turning her head to look at the blonde. “Get under the covers for a moment will you.” 

Bernie didn't need to be told twice. She inched the covers down under herself and then up and over her feet. She moved so that her whole front pressed against the whole of Serena's back. She slid her palm along Serena's hip round to her tummy. “Hands to yourself, Wolfe. Otherwise I'll never get to sleep.” Bernie laughed and pressed up against her back. 

Serena inhaled in obvious pain and Bernie shot backwards on the bed. “What? What is it what did I do?”

“It's nothing I …” Serena sat up in bed and pulled her pyjama shirt up at the back. Bernie gasped a bit. 

“Lie down on your front,” she murmured, pushing Serena's shirt up some more as the brunette lay down obediently. 

Bernie inspected the nasty-looking bruise, long and around two inches wide, across the expanse of Serena's back. “I thought you said you weren't hurt,” she breathed, tracing the bruise with a fingertip, her own expression displaying emotional pain as the sight before her. She clenched her fist. Tears sprung in her eyes. 

“I didn't think … must have been when he pushed me against the cabinet.” She hissed as Bernie sniffed, leant down and kissed the angry mark. Serena shivered. 

“I'm sorry. Do you have ibuprofen gel or anything?”

“Cabinet over my sink.” Bernie jumped out of bed and went to get it. She clocked the toothbrush and moisturiser by the sink and smiled. So neatly placed. She wiped the tears from her eyes. 

Bernie returned to the bed and dispensed some gel onto her hand. She tried warming it between her hands before hesitating. 

Serena was lying with her head cradled in her arms, smiling up at the blonde, a glint in her eyes. “You, Ms Campbell, are an incredible tease.”

“Coming from the woman who's about to put her hands on my bare skin,” Serena sighed, voice low. 

Bernie just smiled. She applied the gel expertly to Serena's skin, probably spending more time touching her than was absolutely necessary. She pulled the shirt back down again. Serena pulled the duvet back over herself and held her arm up for Bernie to resume her position behind her. 

Bernie chuckled and buried her face in Serena's hair again. “Mmmm warmer now?” Her hand snuck between her waist and the mattress again. Her knees came up behind Serena's, hips pressed together. 

Serena sighed and pressed her hips back into Bernie's. “Warmer is one word for it.” Bernie felt a familiar tingle spread over her body. She swallowed. 

“Shhh go to sleep.”

“Okay. I'll cook dinner for you after work if you like,” Serena murmured, starting to drift. 

“Want me to come here straight after work?” Bernie said quietly into her hair. 

“Mmmhmm.”

“Okay.”

She just held her, just held her until she felt the brunette relax, her breathing slow and deep. She waited a minute or two, trying not to think that she was in Serena's bed, holding her so close, every part of their bodies touching. 

Bernie sighed deeply. She slowly, very slowly, extricated herself from Serena. She carefully tucked the duvet round her. Serena barely moved. Bernie wanted to kiss her forehead, but didn't want to wake her so refrained. 

She left the room, closing the door behind her. 

When she returned to work, Morven handed over the singular patient transferred from A and E that morning. “Thank you so much for staying on,” Bernie said to her. 

“Is Ms Campbell okay?”

“She'll be fine. Well do a debrief tomorrow when she's back in, that ok?” Morven nodded. 

They all went to work. It was a slow day. Bernie wished it would go faster. 

She left at six o'clock sharp. She tried not to speed on the way. She pulled up and parked. 

She felt worried. What if Serena hadn't slept well, had been lying there alone, the thoughts of the early morning scratching at her mind. Or worse still, nightmares. Waking in a cold sweat. Bernie balled her fists and took a deep breath. 

She got out the car, went up the path and rang the doorbell. The door opened to reveal an apron-clad Serena, wiping her wet hands on a tea towel. She leant in for a quick kiss before smiling gently and saying, “come in.”

Bernie relaxed a bit. “Hi. How did you sleep?” She called to Serena's back as she walked back into the kitchen. She hung her coat and bag in the usual place, on a peg she was beginning to consider her own. 

“Better than I expected. Must have been something about the way I fell asleep.” 

Bernie joined the brunette in the kitchen. “What's smells amazing?”

“Oh. That'll be the tagine.”

“The what?”

“Moroccan lamb.”

“Wow,” Bernie said, perching against the kitchen table, unsure what to do.

“Now, you're my guinea pig,” Serena told her, gesturing with the tea towel, before hanging it up. “I haven't made this particular recipe before.”

“Something that smells that good can't disappoint,” Bernie replied. She stepped up to Serena and caught her hand. “Are you okay?”

Serena nodded. “I think so.”

“No bad dreams or … anxiety attacks …or …”

Serena's words were kind. “Stop fussing. You did a good job of making me feel better.” Their arms slid around one another, lips touched carefully. Serena reached up to brush a lock of blonde hair behind Bernie ear. “Would you like a drink?”

“I would love one,” Bernie said, letting Serena go as she moved away and to a cupboard. 

“I actually have some beers in if you'd like one.”

“Great.” Bernie watched her grab a beer from the fridge and pop the cap. Serena handed her the ice cold bottle, going and collecting a wine glass for herself. 

They ate over a couple of candles and low lighting, gazing and watching one another across the big table. “Debrief tomorrow,” Bernie said after a while. She hadn't wanted to bring it up, the evening felt so nice and warm, but she didn't want Serena to feel like she wasn't prepared. “The police are going to talk to you around ten.”

“That's fine.” Serena took a last forkful of her meal and placed her knife and fork together, carefully, on her plate. She looked down at her wine glass. “Are you okay?” Serena asked, toying with the stem of the glass. 

“What d’you mean?”

“I can tell that I wasn't the only one affected by what happened.” Serena lifted her gaze to Bernie's. “I can't imagine what was going through your head.”

Bernie twirled her bottle in her fingers, lifted it to her lips and drank. Serena watched her and gave her an affectionate look. “I'm just glad you're okay.” Serena nodded, waited for her to talk some more. Bernie drank again. She reached across the table and touched Serena's hand. “When I realised … what was happening,” she started slowly. “I just … my mind went blank. Well almost. One thought. Fear. Just fear.” Their fingers interlaced and Bernie looked down at their clasped hands for a beat. “I just … needed to get in there. If the officers hadn't … I think I would have broken the window and climbed in.” It was a gentle half-joke. They smiled at one another. 

“Your review, Ms Wolfe?” Serena said after a long pause. Bernie looked confused. “The Moroccan lamb.”

“Ah. Yes. Amazing. Scrummy. Please make it again for me.”

Serena laughed. “Well okay then. I will.”

Bernie helped Serena load the dishwasher, wipe the mats, and prepare another drink for them each. 

“Is there somewhere you need to be tonight?” Serena asked gently, once they were settled on the sofa, peering over her wine glass coyly. 

“No.” Bernie grinned at her and swigged a new bottle of Budweiser. “What did you have in mind?” She pulled her socked feet up onto the couch, let her hand with her bottle dangle a bit against her raised knees. Another fluffy pair of socks, Serena thought. 

“Well I was … you know … a little concerned about how well I would sleep without … with no one in the house.”

“Oh.” Bernie swallowed. “Of course I'll stay.” Her words were full of affection and what Serena hoped was love. 

“Okay.” Serena's expression reminded Bernie of that time, washing their hands, outside theatre, that time they'd arranged to go to dinner. Bernie smiled shyly, rolled her eyes. 

“Just sleep though, ok?”

“To be honest, after the twenty-four hours I've had, I don't think I could manage much more.”

“Well, if I promise to allow you the best nights sleep possible, will you … at least try to keep your hands to yourself?”

“I shall try. If you could put those hands to good use though, I could do with a bit more ibuprofen gel.” Bernie took her hand and kissed it.

“Think I can manage that.” They drank their respective drinks in silence and then got up, took the empty glass and bottle to the kitchen. 

Serena prodded Bernie ahead of her to the bedroom. “I hope you don't mind baggy pyjamas. I'm afraid I don't have a thing in your size.”

“Anything will do.”

“You could bring some round if you like. Keep a set here for when … if I end up feeling lonely again.”

“Lonely?”

“Or a complete wimp in my own house.”

“And there's me thinking it was all a ruse to get me in your bed.”

“I already did that. This morning.” Serena went to the dresser and held out two T-shirts. “Any preference.”

“Either is fine. Do you have some bottoms?”

“Yep.” She threw them across the room at Bernie who caught them lightly. 

“Would you mind if I …?” Bernie pointed towards the en suite. 

“Not at all. Help yourself to anything.”

“Mind if I borrow your toothbrush?”

“Ah, I'm prepared. There's a spare in the cupboard.” 

“Aren't we the Girl Scout?” Bernie disappeared into the bathroom. 

Serena quickly changed into her pyjamas, burgundy tonight, shy that Bernie might see her without her clothes on when she wasn't expecting it. She hopped around the room then, moving ornaments so that they looked neat, throwing the scarf she had discarded a few days ago into the wardrobe and generally tidying up. Then she went to the bed, rearranged the pillows, plumped them, turned back the covers in a hopefully inviting way. 

Serena heard brushing noises and smiled. She went to her mirror and teased her hair a bit flatter. She considered her makeup and rolled her eyes. Bernie had seen her with makeup no doubt all over her face this morning, considering how much she had cried. Damn, she hadn't thought of that, she hoped she hadn't scared anyone on AAU. She resigned to the fact that no makeup was probably better than panda eyes. At least she wouldn't wake up with it all down her face in the morning. She would take it off in the bathroom. 

Bernie opened the bathroom door and stuck her head round. “Okay?”

“Yep.” Serena stepped from the mirror with a blush. “Just a minute,” she said, aiming to nip straight into the en suite, but when Bernie moved into the bedroom, head down in embarrassment, she had to stop. “Well, well, Ms Wolfe.”

“Shut up.”

“You look better than I do in those,” Serena hummed, checking the blonde up and down in a long sweep of her gaze. 

“Shut up.” Bernie blushed and sat on the bed, on the left side, knees drawn up to her chin. She placed the retrieved pain relief gel onto the bedside table. “Go on,” she said, grinning and indicating the bathroom. 

Serena disappeared and Bernie blushed some more. The pyjama bottoms were the same light blue Serena had worn a couple of weeks ago on scrabble night, when Jason had been so insistent that company did not mean a change of their routine. Clean of course. The T-shirt was black and plain and probably hugged Serena in all the right places, but Bernie felt a little swamped in it. 

She ran her fingers through her hair, put her legs under the covers. She settled down on her back, arms over the duvet around her tummy. She watched the bathroom door for a few minutes before Serena came back through and rounded the bed to her side. “Ready for some hands-on action?” Bernie asked and grimaced at the poor attempt at humour or flirting, she wasn't sure which she had aimed for. 

Serena said nothing, she simply lay down on her front, sliding her legs under the covers. She cradled her head in her arms again and closed her eyes. “Ready for treatment, Doctor Wolfe.”

Bernie laughed and squeezed some gel out, warming it in her hands again. She pushed up Serena's shirt and shuddered at the mark there. “Still looks sore,” she murmured, frowning. 

Serena twitched when Bernie lay her hands on her. But it was the brunette that apologised. “Sorry.”

“It's okay. My hands are probably cold.”

Bernie rubbed in the gel, making small circles on the middle of Serena's back. Her skin was soft, untainted apart from the bruise. Nothing like mine, Bernie thought. Surgery scars and battle wounds. 

She moved her fingers up a bit, to a creamy pair of shoulder blades, up a silky spine, small hollows that fascinated Bernie more than anyone’s body ever had. The gel had long since disappeared into the brunettes skin, hopefully giving her some relief from the pain of being thrown against their office furniture. Bernie ran a finger down Serena's spine and her closed eyes opened. 

Bernie inhaled deeply and gently pulled Serena's shirt back down. “Is that better?”

“Mmmhmm,” Serena breathed, rolling back onto her side to face Bernie, shifting towards her and pulling the covers up to her chin. Bernie lay down on her back again, an arm out, allowing Serena to settle against her shoulder. 

“Good,” Bernie said, a finger stroking Serena's upper arm as it wrapped around her waist. “It wasn't too … um…” Serena smiled, a wicked look in her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Well, I'm not sure how you expect to touch me like that and not … cause a reaction.” Bernie looked smug, a little too smug for Serena's liking. “Yeah okay clever-clogs.”

Bernie squeezed her tight, being careful to avoid the area on her back that was bruised. “Good to know,” she whispered and Serena chuckled. She reached to play with Bernie's hair by her neck. 

“I'm not complaining.” 

Bernie touched Serena's chin with a finger and brought the brunettes lips up to touch them with hers. Serena leant up a little on her arm and broke the kiss, only to smile down at Bernie and press her into the pillows with another kiss. 

“Nope. My turn,” Bernie managed, before pushing at Serena's shoulder and rolling her onto her back. Serena grimaced and let out a pained moan. “Oh god I'm so sorry.”

“It's fine, I don't care,” she whispered pulling Bernie to her with hands on her hip and cheek, locking their lips together. Tongues danced, hands grasped at waists and cheeks and backs. 

Like bloody teenagers, Bernie thought briefly, before leaning down and kissing the side of Serena's neck. The sound that caused was like music, a breathy moan that itself brought on a shudder from Bernie. She circled her tongue under Serena's jaw, then lower, against her collarbone. 

“I thought we were supposed to behave tonight?” Serena breathed.

“I believe the deal we made mentioned hands,” Bernie replied, trying not to show Serena how turned on she was. 

“That's okay then,” Serena said, swallowing deeply, pulling Bernie back over her, both hands briefly on her hips to shift her to properly lie against her. Bernie smiled, locked her lips back with Serena's and bent her knee to push it between the brunettes legs, hips cradling one another. They kissed for a long time like this, breathlessly, one of Serena's hands at the small of Bernie's back, the other in her hair. 

Bernie took a chance and dropped a hand to Serena's left knee, lifting it so her foot was flat on the bed. Serena moaned and Bernie drew back. “Is this okay?” she asked, breathlessly. 

“Are you kidding?” Serena reached up with both hands to sweep back Bernie's hair from her face. “So long as … it's okay with you.”

Bernie nodded. She leant on her elbows and gently kissed Serena's lips, just light caresses, carefully pressing her thigh upwards and smiling at the groan, the actual proper groan, Serena made at the contact. “How's your back?” Bernie managed, some sense of chivalry returning to her. 

“Back, what back?” Serena slid her hand down Bernie's sides and trailed her fingers back up again. Their noses were millimetres apart, eyes locked and smiles broad. Bernie leant down and kissed Serena's collarbone again. Serena inhaled, shivering, as those lips trailed further down and Bernie's hand went to the brunette’s pyjama shirt top button. Eyes locked again and Serena cupped the blonde’s face, nodding. 

Popping the button open with one hand, Bernie slid the tips of her fingers inside Serena's shirt. She moved up to kiss her again and felt the woman beneath her lift her head hungrily to meet the kiss. Bernie blindly undid the next button, fingers caressing the soft skin just under Serena's collarbone. Then lower, where a soft nipple became hard under her fingers. 

Tongues danced against one another and Serena stretched back, lifting an arm above her head. The thumb of her other hand slipped up Bernie's side and round her front. Palm cupping bravely and sweeping up and down. Bernie gasped and broke the kiss, staring down at the woman below her. “If you say we need to stop now, Berenice Wolfe …”

“I don't want to stop,” Bernie breathed, seriousness coming off her in waves. “I …” Her breathing was deep and her eyes unsure. “I love you.”

Serena just smiled at her, took her hand away from her breast and held her cheek. “I love you too.” Bernie smiled back at her, closed her eyes against Serena's palm. 

The brunette slipped her hands down to the bottom of the T-shirt she'd leant Bernie and tugged. “I think it's time we …”

Bernie sat up and knelt on the mattress, crossing her hands over and whipping the T-shirt off, sitting back on her heels in just the pale blue pyjamas trousers. Serena pushed up on her elbows and grinned. Bernie blushed but grinned back, looking to the side, feeling shy. Kind of late for that, Bernie, but hey. 

Serena sat up and knelt in front of Bernie, starting to undo the remaining buttons of her shirt. Bernie took over as they kissed and once all the buttons were opened, hands touched naked skin, goosebumps appearing because of the lack of duvet and the addition of arousal. 

Bernie tucked her hands around Serena's back, under the open shirt. She pulled and coaxed until Serena shifted into her lap, thighs round Bernie's hips. Serena felt brave and broke the kiss, trailing her lips down Bernie's shoulder, leaning her forehead against her, kissing the top of her breast, hand coming up to the swell, cupping and palm smoothing again. Bernie's fingers combed through Serena's hair, finally pulling her head back to kiss her lips again. 

“You're … beautiful,” Serena breathed, her other hand sliding up Bernie's front to cup her other breast. “I actually can't believe I'm touching you.”

Bernie breathed out a shaky laugh and slid her hand up and down Serena's breast, the heel of her hand rubbing the nipple back and forth. “I've thought about this … so much,” she whispered, capturing Serena's lips with hers again, tongue sliding inside. 

After a few minutes, hands exploring, pinching and caressing, Serena broke the kiss. “Well … as lovely as this is, my dear, my legs are about to fall asleep.” They both chuckled and Bernie cupped her jaw in her hand. “And we are both wearing far too much clothing for my liking.”

The meaning of this stung Bernie. Up until now she could have kid herself that it was just kissing, a bit of pre-sleep affection and love, nothing monumental. But the fact was Serena hadn't been like that with a woman before, Bernie would be her first time, frightened her a bit. Once all the clothes were gone she couldn't pretend they weren't going to do what they were going to do. She wanted it to be so perfect. 

Serena lay her hand over the still one of Bernie's on her cheek. “Having second thoughts?” She teased, but there was some worry in her eyes. 

“Just nerves,” Bernie whispered, giving her an apologising look. 

“You're not supposed to be nervous,” Serena said gently, curling her fingers around the blonde’s. “I'm the virgin here.”

“Virgin,” Bernie laughed, finally relaxing a bit. “Barely.”

“Excuse me what are you implying?” Bernie had to grin. This banter they had. It very rarely went away, unless they were angry at one another. She lived for these little quips, the happy exchanges that she realised she'd never had with anyone else. 

“I just … I really don't want you assuming that I'm … experienced.” 

“I don't assume anything,” Serena said, taking Bernie's hand from her cheek and kissing her palm. “Just that you love me.”

Bernie just gazed at her, into those dark eyes. “That's all I need,” she breathed. Serena sighed. She nodded. They became calm together for a moment, until Serena grimaced. 

“Let's get a bit more comfortable,” she said, rubbing her own thigh. They disentangled, stretched, chuckled at the pops and cracks of complaining joints. “Oh goodness we are old!”

“I don't feel old,” Bernie said, grinning. They lay back under the covers, Serena still wearing her open shirt. Bernie pushed it away from her shoulders and her hand teased one breast then the other, as they kissed lazily. Serena stretched back, hands sweeping Bernie's now cold skin. They had been out of the duvet for too long. 

Serena pulled the covers up and around them both, and Bernie's hands slipped to Serena's hips, fingering the waistband of her pyjamas. “Are you sure?” Bernie asked, eyebrows pushed down in concern. Serena nodded. 

Bernie slipped Serena's trousers down and under the covers and then thought ‘to hell with it’ and tugged her own off too. They reached for each other in tandem and resumed their earlier position, Bernie's thigh between Serena's, left elbow by her head, right hand on her hip. At that first contact of skin on skin, they both shuddered. She slid her hand down to Serena's thigh. 

Serena touched Bernie's face, feeling the wetness between her own legs and then on the front of her thigh when Bernie pressed more fully against her. She shuddered and held Bernie's hair back as they kissed, naked flesh against naked flesh. Bernie rolled her hips and Serena moaned gently, sweeping the blonde’s sides again. 

Moving more fully over the brunette, Bernie held herself up on both elbows and she felt Serena's knee lift, foot flat on the mattress again. Hips cradling one another, they fit together so perfectly. She leant down to kiss Serena's neck and relished in the moan that caused. 

Serena's hands slid down to Bernie's hips and tugged a bit wanting friction, or anything to soothe the ache that had blossomed between her legs. Bernie rolled her hips and bit the brunettes bottom lip as her hips rolled in response. Breath quickening, occasional biting kisses, broken by the need to breathe. 

Bernie felt Serena's hand slip across, fingers dipping between her legs, unsure and careful. When she felt a fingertip touch her clit she groaned, tried to slow her hips against Serena's, stop her hand from being crushed between them. Serena looked up at her, left hand on her cheek. Bernie felt overwhelmed, groaned when Serena's fingers began to circle, closed her eyes. 

Their lips touched briefly, before Bernie opened her eyes again and looked down. All that mattered was the woman below her, against her, and now, for a moment, inside her. Bernie pressed down, the feeling of Serena inside of her making her forget herself for a moment. 

She trailed her fingers down Serena's hip and between and slid two inside her, curling them up and letting Serena set the pace with the movement of her hips.

“Is this…” Bernie trailed off, unsure. 

Serena smiled and took Bernie's wrist, slipped her fingers out and pressing them against her clit. They're locked eyes understood, Bernie touched her there, back and forth, then small circles. Serena gasped. Bernie caught the gasp with a kiss, her own hand quickening between them as she felt Serena's fingers slide out of her and start a fluttering dance against her own core. 

She felt Serena shake and pulled back to look into her eyes, wished she could say something perfect and meaningful, but no words could explain how she felt. Bernie had to close her eyes then, her own release creeping up on her. Serena tensed under her, breath coming sharp and fast, quiet moans and gasps escaping her lips. “Oh …” it's all Serena could say before she went completely still, then shook with her release. 

Bernie was so close. Her eyes were filling with tears, watching the woman below her, it was all too much, being with Serena, touching her, loving her. Serena's fingers fluttered and Bernie groaned, trying to hold herself up as she came, arms and legs shaking, nose buried in Serena's shoulder. 

Hands escaped being crushed between them and swept warm skin, aftershocks making the both of them twitch. Once their bodies had quietened, Bernie finally managed to push up again on her elbows, hair falling all round her face, and gazed down at Serena. She swore, an expel of breath. Serena breathed out a laugh. 

“You're telling me,” she breathed, hands sweeping up and down Bernie's lower back. Bernie lowered her lips to Serena's and kissed her so gently. She felt Serena smile against her lips. “Still nervous?” She asked, still unable to put any strength into her words. 

“Not in the slightest,” Bernie laughed, breathily. She pulled back and they grinned. Bernie shifted sideways and their lack of bodily contact made Serena shiver, but the blonde was soon on her side against her, arm over her tummy, hand tickling by her navel. The covers had slipped and Bernie pulled them up to their shoulders again, making sure Serena's far shoulder was covered by almost tucking her in. 

“Looks like I'm not a virgin anymore,” Serena breathed, knuckles sweeping Bernie's cheek. 

“Glad I could be of service in that department,” Bernie replied, turning to kiss Serena's fingers. “I love you.”

“I love you too. And now we should go to sleep.” 

“Do you have an alarm?” Bernie asked, not really caring. She wanted to stay in Serena's arms forever, the cold light that the morning brought would remind her she had work to do. Debriefings. Police to deal with. 

“Set for five-thirty.”

“Okay,” Bernie felt herself drifting off. Serena smiled and watched the blonde’s eyes flutter closed and her hand stop its wandering on her midriff. 

So this was it, then, she thought. It was official. Serena Campbell: lesbian. She smiled smugly and leant her forehead against the blonde curls against her shoulder. She imagined joints and muscles and the bruise on her back would ache like hell in the morning, but it would be worth it. Just to look into those brown eyes and know Bernie loved her. 

She sighed and slid her hand along the arm around her waist, fingers caressing lightly. She sunk into a comfortable sleep, wondering what tomorrow held, but knowing she wouldn't be facing it alone.


	5. When The Dog Bites

Two further weeks had passed. Schedules and Jason and general life had got in the way and it had been fifteen (Bernie had counted) days since they'd woken up together, limbs and hair a tangled mess, but smiles as broad as they'd ever been. Bernie smiled to herself as she waited for her coffee to be prepared at the counter, thinking back to how Serena had been so shy, how they'd spent a few minutes just kissing and touching before having to get up for work. Damn seven a.m. starts.

She took her coffee upstairs to AAU and sat at her desk. They'd managed a few affectionate looks, a kiss or two goodbye after a shift together, once up against Serena's car in the dark, longing nearly overtaking them until Bernie, ever the chivalrous soul, had forced herself away. In theatre together there was the usual banter, it was familiar and comforting. But those eyes and the way they glanced at her over Serena's mask, sometimes she could imagine ripping it off and taking her right then and there. They needed another evening out, and then perhaps, an evening in.

Bernie glanced over at Serena's in-tray as she sat down with her first coffee of the day. Something caught her eye. An ivory card, parts of it handwritten in black ink, something sparkly adorning the edge. Bernie looked away. A secret admirer? It was none of her business.

Serena wasn't due in until nine. Management day. She had a couple of hours until she'd see her. Maybe the card was something important, Bernie thought, she should just check in case. She stood and reached to grab the card.

“You are invited to our wedding!”

Oh how cheesy. Bernie smiled, a bit relieved. Could have been a secret admirer. The brunette of hers could still turn heads. She frowned in confusion however at the names.

“Serena Campbell & Bernie Wolfe.”

The both of them. No separate invites with plus ones. No suggestion that they weren't together. She looked at the names of the couple that were getting hitched. A nurse and registrar from Keller. Surprisingly and pleasingly, the groom was the nurse. Bernie grinned. Gender equality displayed perfectly in a wedding invite.

She bit her bottom lip, letting out a sigh. Serena was not going to be pleased. They still hadn't made their relationship official at work. She looked at the clock. Okay, she had time to do a quick bit of investigative work before her lovely vascular surgeon arrived.

She told Morven that she'd be just a few minutes before heading to Keller. She anxiously tapped the invitation against her thigh as she waited for the lift to reach the correct floor.

Entering Keller, she found Sacha and Essie at the nurses station. “Hi,” Bernie said.

“Ms Wolfe, what a pleasant surprise,” Essie said smiling.

“How have you been?” Sacha asked.

“Good. I'm looking for Charlie and Frankie? Either or.” Bernie shrugged.

“Staff room,” Essie replied. Bernie nodded once and strode away.

Sacha and Essie looked at one another, silently asking if the other knew what was going on, then silently shrugging in unison and going back to their work.

“Charlie.” Bernie's voice was all business when she found the nurse sipping coffee at the sink.

“Hi Bernie. What brings you to Keller?”

Bernie held out the invitation. “This. Oh,” she remembered her manners, “congratulations.” She suddenly felt nervous. “I'd love to come.”

“It'll be lovely to see you both there.”

“Yes, that's the … well I mean.” She huffed and started again. “Is it not customary to send invitations separately, with the opportunity for a plus one?”

Charlie frowned. “But I though you and Ms Campbell…”

Bernie bit her lip again. “Where did you get that information?” She asked, trying not to sound defensive.

“I thought it was common knowledge,” Charlie replied, eyes wide and coffee cup placed back on the counter. He spread his hands, apologetically. “Have I overstepped the mark or something?”

“No I’m sorry, it's not that,” Bernie said gently. “It's just that it's not … exactly official. Or … it's official but it's not … we haven't told anyone really but …” She stared at the invitation. Their names looked so perfect next to each other, neat loopy handwriting, formal ink. She sighed. “I'm sorry,” she said again. “Does everyone know?”

“I think so,” Charlie said carefully.

“Right,” Bernie nodded. “Thanks.” She left the staff room and waved goodbye to Sacha and Essie, before heading back to AAU.

She sat at her desk for a long time staring at the card. She put it down and pulled up the trust policies on the intranet, searched for ‘relationships between staff’. She grumbled an expletive, finding the relevant information, not particularly liking what she read.

At nine on the dot, Serena arrived, two coffees in a cardboard holder in her arms, along with a pastry bag. She swept into their office and hit Bernie with a wide smile.

“Hello.”

“Hi,” Bernie replied, having thrown the invite back into Serena's in-tray a millisecond before the woman had entered. Serena handed her a coffee and waggled the bag in front of her, eyes glinting.

“Thought I'd treat you to breakfast.” Her smile faltered as she took in Bernie's tense face. “What's the matter?” She sat by her, pulling the chair up to be close to her.

“You have something in your in-tray.”

Serena reached to grab the invite and sat to read. “Ah. Yes I was wondering when something like this might happen to break us out of our wonderful little secretive bubble.”

“I went up to Keller and talked to Charlie. He's under the impression that it's common knowledge that we're together.”

“Yes. Well, I suppose it was bound to happen sometime soon.” Bernie finally smiled. “Drink your coffee, choose your breakfast. I'll be formulating an email to Hanssen.” Serena sat down at her desk and logged on to her PC.

“Blimey,” Bernie said, face confused. “You've had this planned?”

“Of course.” She smiled and took the pastry Bernie handed to her. “I just wish we had had a couple more weeks of ignorant bliss.” She blushed a bit and Bernie felt her heart throb.

“I'll come with you when we talk to him.”

“Yes you will. This is for both of us to be involved in. Heaven knows we're going to have to make some serious assurances to Hanssen if we're to stay working together.” Serena began tapping away. Bernie looked away and ate her pastry.

Almost immediately after the email had been sent (and presumably read) there was a call from Hanssen. Serena put the phone down and sighed resignedly. “Where's a nice bottle of Shiraz when I need it?”

“In your desk drawer?” Bernie quipped, trying not to smile.

“Ha. Yes. Although I don't think doing this drunk would be quite appropriate.”

“Whatever happens,” Bernie said, getting up, “just remember I love you?” Serena blushed.

“Comments like that probably aren't either.” She blinked and looked shocked. “I mean in front of Hanssen. You can say them every minute of every day to me.”

“I want to kiss you,” Bernie admitted.

“Let's sort this out with the Swede and then we can do what we like,” Serena replied, touching Bernie's arm.

The two women traipsed up to the CEO’s office on the top floor. They were alone in the lift and Bernie stepped up to Serena's side, sliding an arm round her back. Serena leant her head on Bernie's shoulder, taking a deep breath before the doors opened and they walked into the corridor and to Hanssen’s office.

Henrik Hanssen was not one to discriminate against different cultures or lifestyles, and he felt secure in himself that he would give the surgeons a fair and honest hearing. He called for them to enter when they knocked.

“Ms Campbell, Ms Wolfe,” he acknowledged. “Please, sit down.” The women sat. Bernie looked like she expected to be given detention. “Let's get straight to the point. I have board meetings all day. The matter at hand requires a deep understanding of policy and procedure to resolve.”

“We are fully aware of the implications,” Serena stated, assertively. Bernie looked at her and felt a bit less scared.

“If this was a simple case of a relationship at work, between two staff members of different grades, there would obviously be a transfer in order, or some kind of similar solution. However, as you are of equal grade, and regarded as two of the most professional and level-headed, skilled surgeons in this hospital, I see no problem, unless significant issues arise.”

The women just looked at him blankly. He continued. “I will review the situation once a month for a year. Any hint of unprofessionalism or lack of discretion will be supportively dealt with. Any problems you have individually, please come and see me at the earliest opportunity.” He stood. “Now, if you will excuse me.”

He left and they stood together. “Oh that's such a disappointment,” Serena moaned as they left Hanssen's office . “I had a whole speech about human rights, freedom of speech, diversity issues, discrimination laws…” Bernie chuckled.

“My little advocate for gay rights.” Serena blushed and rubbed the back of her neck.

“Well, I suppose it could have gone worse.”

“I think,” Bernie said as they entered the lift to take them back to AAU, “we should make it formal with at least AAU and Keller..”

Serena sighed. “I agree, but this afternoon. I need to get over the shock of Hanssen giving us permission to date one another.”

“Okay. After lunch.”

They worked solidly, minds on occasion wandering but not once affecting their efficiency or professionalism. They ate well at lunch, Bernie's treat this time, smiling over sandwiches in their shared office.

When the time came, Serena gathered everyone together in the staff room, away from prying ears of patients, and she and Bernie leant against the counter, arms folded, looking solemn. Fletch looked from one to the other and after a moment of silence, said, “Okay ladies. What did we do wrong.”

“Oh, nothing at all,” Bernie said quickly. She didn't know whether to let Serena say it or to take the reigns for once. “We just have something to tell you.”

“Actually, we may as well just spit it out,” Serena said, hands clasping. She wish she'd prepared more, a speech or something, but in the end there was only one way of saying it. “Bernie and I are in a relationship.”

“We know,” said every single person in the room, except for the two women looked so red-faced and worried. They both rolled their eyes.

“We wanted to actually tell people officially,” Serena explained.

“And we've been to Hanssen,” Bernie continued. “He said so long as it doesn't affect the unit…”

“He sees no reason for any drastic changes,” Serena finished.

“Well thank god for that,” Raf said, eyes wide.

“Yeah, that's great,” Fletch agreed.

“Well, if that's all, I suggest we get back to work,” Serena said quickly, ushering everyone out with a hand gesture. Bernie kept her arms folded and smirked.

“Our day is going well,” she murmured, catching the brunette's gaze.

“I am so glad that's over.”

“Are we going to do the same for Keller?” Bernie asked, hand up toward her mouth to disguise her deepened smile.

“I think a generic email will suffice,” Serena said, fumbling with her rolled up sleeves and going to the kettle. “Cuppa?”

“Sure.”

That evening, Raf popped his head into their office. “Albie’s, ladies?” He grinned. “There's a buy one get one free offer.”

So far since their night together, they hadn't been to Albie’s together. They'd made an unspoken agreement to go separately and not risk ending up in one another's lap in a dark corner of the pub in front of work colleagues. Bernie studied Serena's face and watched her consider. “I'm not sure.”

“Aw come on. It'll probably secure everyone's feeling that this a good thing.” Raf pointed between them. “Morven says if you don't come, she'll tie you together and drag you.”

“Well, if it's a choice between being tied together and walking in of our own accord…” Bernie said, an eyebrow raised. Raf nodded, pleased, and left the office. “… I think I'd prefer to be tied up with you,” Bernie finished, openly smirking.

“Now that's enough,” Serena replied, although she did appear amused. “I suppose we should bite the bullet.”

“It's not like other couples haven't been in Albie’s together before.”

“And I believe I've seen a certain young surgeon kissing his boyfriend in there on more than one occasion.” Serena sighed and pouted a bit at the blonde. “Can't we just stay in our bubble?”

“That bubble burst the minute I laid eyes on you,” Bernie told her, taking Serena's coat from the rack and holding it open for her.

Serena blushed. “Carry on like that, soldier, and you might get lucky tonight.”

“That a promise?” Bernie breathed against her ear as she helped her into her coat. Serena shivered.

“At least wait until I've had a glass of Shiraz.”

“Your wish is my command.”

Half way across the car park, they grasped hands, bravely striding through the doors together. What they didn't expect was the round of applause they received on entering the small pub. “Is it someone's birthday?” Serena asked, over all the clapping. Essie came up to them and led them to the bar.

“Dom’s idea,” she explained, indicated the young surgeon over at a table with Morven and a few others. “He thought it'd be nice to express how proud we all are of you both.”

“What?” Bernie said, incredulously, but chuckling. Blushes stained both their faces.

“Oh we didn't do anything,” Serena scoffed, pointing at a bottle of red and handing over a note. “The whole thing please.” The bar tender took her money and she unscrewed the lid. “This is something I've been waiting for all day.”

“Don't forget to share,” Bernie said, reaching up and helping herself to another glass from the rack.

Essie left and Dom came up to them. He gave Bernie a hug. “Like to think I had something to do with it,” he said smugly.

“Are you kidding?” Bernie replied, but smiled. “You all but convinced me to leave the country!” Dom looked shocked and put a palm to his chest.

“So I have you to blame for that?” Serena said, eyes wide.

“I didn't …” He turned to Bernie. “You didn't say anything about Ms Campbell when we had that conversation.”

“Don't worry, I'm only teasing,” Bernie said, gripping his arm. He visibly relaxed with a breath out. “It all turned out okay in the end.”

The women smiled at one another and Bernie leant forward to take her hand. There was a quiet “whoop” from the table where the AAU lot were sat, but the women pleasantly ignored them.

“Let's sit down,” Serena said, as Dom went to join his friends.

“We should sit with them,” Bernie told her, a kind look towards Morven and Raf. “They deserve our appreciation.”

They resumed holding hands when they were settled at the table with Raf, Morven, Essie, Sacha and Dom. They all chatted for a while and luckily the conversation mostly revolved around TV shows neither of them watched, and music neither of them listened to. They drank wine, held hands, and listened, trying to relax into being together and everyone knowing.

After a while, the wine started to kick in and relaxing in pleasant company didn't seem such a chore. Bernie patted Serena's thigh when she told a joke that everyone laughed at and Serena leant forward to dust an eyelash from Bernie's cheek. Everyone just smiled at them, kept their comments to themselves and drank.

When Serena got up to go to the bathroom, Bernie held her hand until the last minute. Bernie watched the brunette disappear with a small look over her shoulder. Bernie smiled, drained her glass and got up. She took barely two steps towards the bathroom before turning and pointing at the group. “It's not what it looks like.” Everyone laughed and Bernie blushed, shaking her head and striding confidently to the bathroom.

Serena was leaning against the sink when Bernie came in. “I'm sorry, I just needed a moment.” She inhaled a deep shaky breath. Bernie leant next to her. Their arms brushed.

“I hope I haven't pushed you into … being more out and proud than you're …” Serena stepped in front of her and smiled, before sliding her hands around her shoulders and kissing her. Bernie laughed against her lips and held Serena's waist. When they broke apart she finished with: “… comfortable with?”

“Ugghhh it's just odd and I know it shouldn't be. I've had lovers before and on occasion they've even visited me at work.” Both Serena's thumbs smoothed the hair at the base of Bernie's neck. “I love you so much and I do want people to see that I just …”

“You don't need to explain.” Bernie lifted a hand to touch Serena's cheek. “I understand.”

Their shared gaze lasted a good two minutes and was only broken by someone coming into the Ladies.

“Oh blimey, sorry,” Morven backed out again but Serena's words were quick.

“Don't be silly, Morven, this isn't our own private bathroom.” Serena dropped her hands from Bernie and the blonde copied her. Bernie smiled in the knowledge that they hadn't jumped apart immediately. Things were starting to fall into place.

As they were leaving the bathroom, Serena's phone rang. “I'll just be a minute,” she told Bernie and went outside to answer it.

Bernie sat within the group again and they teased and drank and generally made quite a bit of noise. Bernie realised after a few minutes that Serena hadn't returned. She took her bag and coat and went outside to find her.

“… well do you know the number of a cab company, Jason? No you need to come to A and E, you'll need a tetanus booster. I don't care if the owner thinks the dog is fine, you don't know where his mouth has been.”

Bernie came up close to her to catch her eye, steamed breath circling around them in the cold. “Alright?” she murmured, her hands sinking into her pockets.

“Jason, just a minute.” Serena placed her hand over the mobile phone and huffed a bit. “Jason's been bitten by some flea infested canine and just won't understand that he needs to get it seen to properly.” Bernie held out a hand for the phone. Serena handed her the phone and stepped away in frustration.

“Jason? Yeah, it's Bernie. Listen if you've been bitten it's important that you come to the hospital. If you like I'll have a look at it for you, would that be okay?” A pause. “You might get an infection. Even a clean dog will have bacteria in its mouth that could make you ill.” She smiled and nodded. “Okay. We'll meet you at the front entrance.”

She handed back the phone and Serena saw he’d hung up. “Thank you.”

“It's okay.”

“You're really very good with him,” Serena said, hand sneaking to hold Bernie's arm as they walked around the hospital to the A and E entrance.

“You're welcome to leave him to me if you like. Just be a concerned aunt instead of his doctor?” They walked through the front doors and turned around to look out into the night, waiting for Jason. Bernie sent a text to Raf to explain they wouldn't be back in the pub.

When he arrived, Serena tried not to fuss at the amount of blood that covered the young man’s hand.

Bernie took him into A and E minors (with the permission of Elle and a quick explanation), and Serena sat in the waiting area, wondering what she'd done to deserve Bernie Wolfe. The woman just knew what to do with Jason, understood what he needed. Serena had always had to guess or ask him, they'd spent such a long time having to get to know one another. And she more often than not, got it wrong.

She wondered curiously whether it was because Bernie had a son the same age. Whether it wasn't Jason's Aspergers that caused the barrier between them, that it was Serena only having the experience of a young grownup daughter.

After half an hour, Elle came through with Bernie and Jason. “And don't forget, if a dog is scared, that's what they do.”

“I can't imagine standing over a dog is very wise,” Bernie was saying. “Especially one you don’t know.”

Jason looked guiltily at his aunt. “I'm sorry for causing a fuss, Auntie Serena.”

“That's okay, Jason.” She rubbed his arm and he showed her the bandage on his hand. “Did you let Bernie give you a booster jab?”

“Yes. She does it better than the nurse at my GP.” Bernie grinned.

“Thanks Elle, I owe you one.” She turned to them both. “Back to Albie’s?”

“I think not,” Serena said, sternly, but immediately regretted it. Bernie's face dropped and she nodded.

“Okay,” the blonde sighed, “I'll see you tomorrow.”

“I think Bernie should come back for dinner,” Jason piped up. He grinned at Bernie. “There's a documentary on at eight. About sea turtles.”

“Is there?” Bernie said, a smile playing on her face.

“And she should stay the night.”

Serena laughed. “What if Bernie doesn't want to stay the night, Jason?”

“Are you kidding?” Bernie said, without thinking but quietly enough that she didn't think Jason had heard.

“Auntie Serena, your worse than I am with girls.”

Bernie couldn't help but burst out laughing at that, a loud guttural laugh that made Serena smile. “Yes alright, very funny.”

“I'm sorry, Serena, but he does have a point,” Bernie said, still chuckling.

“Right, fine, dinner at ours it is!” Serena threw up her hands, but smiled at Bernie, her Bernie. “We will see you there.”

“Ginger beer?” Bernie asked Jason.

“Got some, thank you.”

“Dessert?” Bernie asked.

“If you're lucky,” Serena replied, her voice low. They left, Serena and Jason climbing into the green Saab and Bernie driving herself. Bernie forgot to stop for dessert.

Dinner was chicken drumsticks (which Serena insisted on eating with a knife and fork) potato wedges and baked beans. Jason showed Bernie how he heated up the beans in the microwave. “Auntie Serena always lets me help with beans.”

“That's good. You'll be a Michelin star chef soon enough.”

“No I won't,” Jason replied, but after a beat understood. “Oh, you're joking.” Bernie smiled and nodded.

Jason went to bed at nine. The documentary had been fairly interesting, more so Bernie's thing than Serena's, but, yet again, this did give Serena some time to gaze a bit at her blonde companion. The way her eyes shone when a camera man got close to the animals, or baby sea turtles made their way to the water without being eaten. The way her lips drank the wine they were yet again sharing. The way the soft curve of her waist looked in the light from the television.

Serena could barely wait until Jason was out of the room. She took Bernie's hands, not wanting to seem too eager but also wanting to be honest. “Come on then.”

“Oh, no kisses on the sofa tonight?” Bernie teased, reaching to slide her fingertips down the side of Serena's neck.

“Don't make me beg, soldier,” Serena growled, seriously. Bernie thought briefly about making her beg, but thought better of it. Fifteen days had been too long.

She stood and pulled Serena up by her hands. “Actually, I've got a confession to make.”

Serena frowned at her shy expression. “What is it?” Her voice was still a little stern but also gently curious.

“D’you remember suggesting I bring pyjamas next time I came to stay?”

“Yes.”

“I've actually had them in my car since then.”

“Ah, so you've been waiting.”

“Very patiently, I think,” Bernie said, laughing. “Does the offer still stand?”

“I'll clear you some space in my drawer.”

Bernie went briefly out to her car to collect her overnight bag. Then she followed Serena upstairs again and quietly into her bedroom. The soft sounds of Jason's TV hummed in the background, until the door closed. “Are you sure this is okay with Jason here?” Bernie whispered, bravely sitting on the end of Serena's bed, her bag in her lap.

“He invited you. I can only hope he will, as usual, keep his TV on for the majority of the evening.”

They both blushed. “Does he fall asleep with it on?”

Serena knelt down by her chest of drawers and started reorganising, moving things to one side to make room. “I presume so. It turns itself off at one, I believe. Some sort of sleep mode. Far too complicated for me.”

“Cameron used to go to sleep with a book on tape,” Bernie mused. “He used to get them out of the library.”

“It's nice to have the background noise. I never was one for an empty house.”

“Maybe I should stay round more often.” Bernie looked up, eyes uncertain. Serena stopped fussing in her drawer and caught Bernie's gaze. She smiled a little.

“I'd like that.”

“As we don't need to worry about … arriving at work together.”

“Or Jason wondering why his aunt is sharing a room with her very attractive female colleague.” Bernie blushed. “Pass over your things then. Or have you only packed pyjamas?”

Bernie smiled through her blush. “I brought some underwear too. Is that okay?”

“Can't have you wearing the same ones tomorrow.”

“Good job it's our day off.”

“Ah. A lie in. Wonderful.” Serena grinned, grabbing the undergarments Bernie handed her. “This is your drawer,” she said, pointing. “At some point I'll sort out my things properly and you can have the whole drawer.”

“You are sweet,” Bernie sighed, taking out her pyjamas. “D’you mind if I just …”

“No, no, you go ahead.” Serena got changed whilst Bernie used the bathroom. When Bernie came out, they swapped again, Serena cleaned her teeth, washed off her makeup and combed her hair.

Serena realised she didn't feel quite as nervous tonight. Their first time had been all about it, the thing she'd never done, breaking that seal of the unknown. It had truly been like losing her virginity all over again.

Tonight, Serena had time to think and the confidence to make it a bit more special. She entered the bedroom again with two stout candles she kept by the bath for special occasions. They were vanilla scented.

She waggled them a bit at the blonde currently taking her socks off. She smoothed a hand over Bernie's back. “Are you adverse to a little mood lighting?”

“Not at all,” Bernie replied, throwing her discarded socks into her bag.

Serena lit the candles and placed them in either side of the bed. “Much better than artificial lighting, don't you think?” She went to turn off the main light.

“Much,” Bernie whispered, reaching for Serena as she slid into bed. They faced each other on their sides, hands sliding under cheeks and over hips. “Thank you again for dinner.”

“Ah yes. Thursday is chicken and chips, but I refuse to give him processed oven chips. Much nicer from fresh.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“I've missed you,” Serena breathed, candlelight flickering on her skin. A soft pale pink cotton top with grey cotton trousers. Not quite as sexy as she’d have liked but Bernie didn't seem to be complaining. The blonde was wearing an old grey T-shirt with tartan bottoms. Serena decided she'd never seen anything so beautiful.

“Missed you,” Bernie said and leaned forward to capture the brunette's lips between her own. Serena wrapped her arms as tightly as she could around Bernie's back and kissed her hungrily. Tongues met, hand swept, surer this time.

Bernie tried to push Serena onto her back like two weeks ago, and despite the thrill that shuddered through her, Serena took her hand, kissed the palm. “I think it's my turn,” she breathed, pushing at Bernie's shoulder, reaching to tug her T-shirt up a little, exposing a hip and the smooth dip of her waist. She lay a hand against the exposed skin and began to tickle her fingertips in small circles.

Bernie shivered and stared into the brunette's eyes, as that hand moved up to the side of her breast under the T-shirt. Thumb sweeping her nipple, Serena grinned at the gasp from the blonde, rubbed again, pressed her lips to Bernie's.

Each time Bernie tried to touch her, Serena grasped her hands and put them back on the bed again. “I told you,” she breathed gently, smoothing Bernie's cheek. “It's my turn.”

“But…” Serena's lips were on hers again before she could say anything else, the dropped down to her ear and then to the side of her neck. Bernie slipped an arm under Serena's head so she could lie against her.

“You know there's something I've been meaning to ask you,” Serena breathed, the words tickling the skin of Bernie's neck. Bernie's breath hitched when deft fingers started rubbing her nipple again in tiny circles.

“What's that? Bernie asked in the same quiet tone, bending her arm so she could sink her fingers into Serena's hair. Serena grinned and allowed that.

“At what point did you know?”

“Know what?”

“You know,” Serena whispered, giving her a gentle smile and moving to Bernie's other breast to smooth her thumb back and forth. Bernie gasped and stretched back a bit, a breathy laugh escaping her lips.

“Are you asking when I knew I was attracted to you, or when I realised I had feelings for you?”

“Are they different?”

“Aren't they for you?”

“I suppose they are,” Serena replied, hand moving up to Bernie's shoulder, a finger tracing a collarbone.

“I knew I was attracted to you way before we started even working together. I just kind of pushed it away and tried to focus on work and … But that damn arm wrestle.” Bernie breathed out through purses lips. “I really didn't intend on letting you win.”

“Ah, I had been wondering that,” Serena said, smiling, leaning down to flick her tongue into Bernie's ear. Bernie gasped, her fingers sinking deep into Serena's hair. “So what about the other?”

“That's a different story,” Bernie turned her head and Serena allowed her to capture her own lips in a kiss. “When you tried to resign. I suppose my feelings changed. I realised I hadn't kept the Ward running because I wanted to prove myself or whatever. I'd done it to make you happy. And then when I found you packing up you things, I think my heart broke a little bit.”

“Oh Bernie,” Serena said, smiling gently at her.

“It's okay, everything was mended again when you gave me a job.”

“That was down to Hanssen really.”

“But you suggested it.”

“And now look where we are.”

Bernie’s grey T-shirt was pushed up so that her stomach was exposed, Serena traced a finger around the hollow of her navel. Bernie let out a shaky breath when those fingers slipped down. “So what about you?”

Serena undid the tie at Bernie's waistband. But she didn't delve any further, just lay her palm over the blonde's midriff and kissed her cheek. “Well, I’m afraid I don't think I realised anything until you kissed me on the floor in theatre.”

“Oh,” Bernie said, frank disappointment in her face.

“Don't feel bad, I didn't recognise what I was feeling for you, that's all. I knew I wanted to be around you, work with you, spend time with you.” Serena grinned. “Although I do admit to feeling a little warm when you decided Morven sounded like Dusty Springfield.”

Bernie laughed. “I never was much good with popular music.”

“When you kissed me I was shocked for a brief moment. Then when I looked at you all stressed and desperate on the floor I could do nothing else but kiss you back. I didn't even consider what it meant. I just wanted to take your guilt and sadness away.”

“That's lovely,” Bernie breathed, the gaze between them soft. Their lips met, a long and soft kiss, tongues flicking out a little. Serena slipped her hand down and, so gently, curled her fingers down between Bernie's legs, over her pyjamas. She pressed a fingertip and felt the warmth there, the wetness. Bernie pushed against her, gasping a little. Serena grasped the waistband of the trousers and pulled until Bernie lifted her hips. She slid them down her legs and over her feet.

Serena looked down, wanting to look, to see. Two weeks ago had been all about touch and being together, they'd not had much time to consider other senses. Now though she took everything in. How Bernie's shoulders shone almost gold in the candlelight, arms carefully muscular. How her breasts were small but full, nipples puckered with arousal. How her stomach, peppered with an assortment of small scars and stretch marks, was flat and creamy. How that place at the apex of her thighs was neat, the colour, how soft she looked, how inviting.

Bernie turned to look at Serena, eyes wide and dark. She smiled shyly. Serena blinked. “Sorry,” she said blushing.

“That's okay,” Bernie murmured. “I actually like the way you look at me.”

Serena slipped a hand down from where it rested on Bernie's ribs, down between, to that inviting place. Fingers smoothed through soft hair and folds and found the wetness they sought. Bernie's back arched and she groaned softly, as a finger found her clit, circled for a minute then moved lower, sliding inside her so gently.

Bernie parted her legs, turned a little away from Serena and settled back against her, in a half-spoon. She looked over her shoulder and they kissed a little, Bernie shuddering as Serena added another finger inside her. “Don't forget to be quiet,” Serena whispered into her ear, only half serious.

“If I'm not will you stop?” Bernie breathed, genuinely a bit worried. Serena slid her fingers out and then back in curling to find that sweet place. She found it first time and Bernie turned her face into the brunette's neck to bite back a groan.

Those fingers slid in a delicious rhythm, and Bernie's hips twitched to match them, rolling a little, lying back in Serena's arms. When Bernie felt teeth at her ear, biting gently she moaned quietly and closed her eyes.

Serena gasped as Bernie moved against her, and it felt so natural to slip a third finger inside her. The change in position caused the heel of her hand to press against Bernie's clit and the reaction was immediately apparent. Bernie gasped and reached down to touch Serena's wrist. She didn't hold her in place or guide her, she just smoothed her palm up and down the brunette's arm.

“Is this … ok?” Now that Serena had more time to think about it she felt nervous regarding her technique. Bernie turned to look at her, nodded briefly and stretched back as her eyes closed again. Serena leant to kiss the soft spot where Bernie's neck met her shoulder. She quickened her hand, eventually sliding out and fluttering her fingertips against the blonde’s clit.

Bernie's body, skin caressed by candlelight, lying so fully against Serena, who had forgotten she was still fully clothed, felt warm and right. They moved together, Serena pressing her own hips against Bernie's, letting her set the pace, letting the roll of her hips and shaky breaths dictate how her fingers touched her. Serena felt a rush of wetness against her hand, kissed Bernie's cheek before capturing her lips in a searing kiss.

Bernie began to shake, her breath coming in pants, desperately trying not to moan. She turned her head into the pillow as that familiar warm feeling started in the small of her back and spread throughout her body.

Serena buried her nose in Bernie's hair, holding her steady around the waist with her free arm as the blonde groaned softly into the pillow and shook hard with her release. “God,” was all Bernie could say, eyes closed and hand gripping Serena's arm.

Serena slipped her fingers from that warm wet place and wrapped her arm around Bernie's middle. She turned her over a little, letting her rest properly on her side. Bernie sighed, eyes still closed, hips twitching with aftershocks for a long time before she relaxed fully. She curled her arms in front of her face, bent her knees a little and sighed again, not moving. Serena gave her time to come round, pulling the duvet up to keep her warm, sliding arms around her, one round her waist, the other under the pillows. She kissed the back of her neck over and over, trying to express to her the depth of love she felt.

It took a long time for the army medic to come back to herself. She stretched all her limbs out and the resulting cracks made them both chuckle. She swore on an exhale and Serena grinned at her.

“You're amazing,” Serena breathed, as Bernie turned round to face her. The blonde lifted her hand to hold Serena's cheeks, touched their lips together. When they broke apart, Bernie shuttered her eyes and sighed. “Sleepy?” Serena asked.

“I think you killed me,” Bernie breathed.

“It's okay if you just want to fall asleep,” Serena whispered, unsure about how Bernie would take that.

“No way, fraulein,” Bernie smiled, inhaling deeply and forcing herself to wake up. She leant to kiss at Serena's neck and slipped her hands up the pink top to find soft breasts and finger the hard nipples she found. Serena gasped and her hands slid into Bernie's hair.

Pulling back and realising Serena needed little else in terms of foreplay, Bernie tugged at her pyjama bottoms. Serena helped pull them off and Bernie hooked a hand behind the brunette's knee. She pulled Serena's leg on top of her own waist and reached down.

Serena leant her forearms on Bernie's shoulders and gasped, eyes closing, hips shuddering as Bernie touched her, fingers sweeping between and out again, long delicate thrusts, the tip of one careful finger dipping inside her before drawing out. Serena pulled her closer and forced her own eyes open.

“How are you so wet?” Bernie breathed, wonder shining out of her eyes. Bernie immediately blushed, realising she'd actually said the words out loud and hoping Serena didn't mind that she'd voiced her thoughts.

“Do you want …” Serena gasped but carried on, “… the scientific explanation? Or the one that involves, your hands, lips and the way you just … in my arms?”

“I think I prefer the latter,” Bernie hummed, smiling softly, fingers focussing their attention of the tiny bundle of nerves between Serena's thighs. Serena groaned a bit, her breath hitching, eyes desperate for a moment. “It's okay,” Bernie said, wanting the brunette to relax, not worry about anything at all. Bernie brought her unoccupied hand up to slide under Serena's cheek, fingertips in her hair by her ear. Serena's hips jolted a bit and Bernie kissed her forehead. “I've got you.”

Serena heart throbbed, the echo of the way Bernie had taken care of her when she'd been attacked. The blonde lovely army medic whose arms she was cradled in and whose hand was so expertly bringing about her undoing was everything. She was just everything. Tears stung her eyes. She sighed and tried to relax, letting her thigh rest against Bernie's waist, allowing the tingling sensations to wash over her as she breathed.

“Want me to …” Bernie blushed a bit but swallowed bravely, “go inside you?”

“Okay,” Serena whispered and smiled a little, feeling the blonde enter her smoothly and slowly, beginning an agonisingly slow rhythm. Serena's hips met Bernie's hand each time, her own hands sweeping through the blonde’s hair, bringing their lips together.

Serena felt it begin and was surprised. That was quick, usually, even by herself, she expected the inevitable to be an hour or so in the making. She moaned quietly against Bernie's kiss, her upper foot resting on the bed now, thighs spread wider.

Bernie's other hand swept down her front, capturing a nipple in thumb and forefinger as Serena shuddered. She slid her fingers inside her deeply, simply making tiny come-hither motions, feeling the ripples of Serena's orgasm squeeze her fingers over and over. Serena moaned, not very quietly, and Bernie smirked briefly, filing that sound for a later conversation.

When it was over, Serena tensed as Bernie's fingers left her. She stretched back, forearm over her eyes, trying not to let Bernie see her tears.

Being no fool, and knowing the brunette rather well, thank you very much, Bernie lay against her side and reached to caress Serena's face. “It's okay,” she hummed, pressing her nose and lips against her cheek and wrapping her arms around her.

“Oh god, what a fool,” Serena moaned, sniffing and wiping her eyes.

“It's fine, I promise you.” Bernie chuckled.

“I just …” Serena looked over at the blonde with wet eyes. “Sometimes you're just … so fantastic.” They both chuckled at that.

“Well thank you,” Bernie said. They looked down at each other’s bodies then and chuckled again, noting their attire. They both still lay in their T-shirts, with nothing below their waists. . “What on earth do we look like,” Bernie whispered, stroking Serena's face again.

Serena patted Bernie's hand against her face and sat up. She swung her legs out of bed and reached down to grab her own pyjama bottoms. Pulling them on, she stood and went round the bed to collect Bernie's. Bernie lay on her back, arm above her head on the pillows and grinned up at her.

“Well you look complete gorgeous if you must know,” Serena told her, throwing Bernie's pyjamas at her and hitting her in the face. “See you in a minute.” She retreated with a blush into the bathroom.

Bernie grinned smugly and pulled on the pyjamas, pulling her top down as well to cover her tummy. Yanking the duvet up under her chin, she wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes. A moment later, Serena returned, bounced into the bed next to her sleepy blonde lover, girlfriend, companion, whatever. She blew out the candles. Serena leant on an elbow and surprised her with a kiss before sliding properly up close and putting an arm over Bernie’s tummy.

“Hope you sleep well,” Serena whispered, covering the blonde's clothed shoulder in kisses.

“I don't think that's … going to be a problem,” Bernie replied. They smiled at one another and Serena buried her face in Bernie's shoulder. “I love you.”

“Love you,” Serena breathed.

They fell asleep, wrapped up together.

 


	6. Girls In White Dresses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NB: thanks to @lisaneave1 and @loucroft18 for the fab song recommendations!

 

“I hate shopping,” Bernie complained, head against her hand, elbow against the car passenger’s window.

“Well, I need a new outfit and we need to get Charlie and Frankie a gift, so: two birds one stone,” Serena said, a no-nonsense tone in her voice. “If you're good I'll take you for sushi.”

Bernie sighed but smiled. “Bribing me with Japanese food, Ms Campbell?”

“Call it a direct consequence of your good behaviour.” Serena drove carefully, but reached a hand over to pat Bernie's knee. “Don't you want to buy something nice for this wedding?”

“I've got clothes,” Bernie replied. “Some of the are even wedding-appropriate.”

“What were you thinking of wearing?” Serena asked, an attempt at nonchalance.

“Why?” Bernie replied, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Well, I'm not saying we should … match but … we are going as a couple and …” Serena huffed. “Would you stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” Bernie had a mischievous smirk plastered across her face.

“I just think we should at least coordinate.”

“Okay,” Bernie said gently. If it was important to Serena she'd at least have a look for something new. “What would you like me to wear?” It was Serena's turn to grin mischievously. “Ha. Okay, points to Campbell.”

They drove in silence for a moment. “I'm thinking a grey suit,” Bernie said eventually. “That too butch? Would you like me to wear a dress?”

“I'd like for you to be comfortable,” Serena replied, turning into the shopping centre carpark and leaning out the window for a ticket. “Whatever you like.” She stole a lingering look at Bernie, who held her hand out for the ticket, before driving through the barrier. “Grey sounds nice.”

“With a waistcoat,” Bernie said quietly. Serena swallowed.

“Great.” Her voice shook a bit as she imagined her gorgeous Bernie in a grey tailored suit, collar open a bit to reveal…

She parked and shook herself, turning off the engine. It was dark in the multi-story car park. She undid her seatbelt but just sat there, fiddling with her hands a bit. Bernie tilted her head in concern.

“Are you okay?” She asked gently, holding out the ticket for Serena to take. “If you don't want to go to the wedding…”

Serena chuckled. “It's not that.” She made to take the ticket, but instead pulled Bernie's whole hand and tugged her closer, other hand sliding round the back of her neck to pull her in for a kiss. Bernie shivered. Serena had been doing this lately. Small moments of passion in car parks and outside restaurants and once at a table for two in Albie’s. She felt quite proud of her.

They'd spent several nights together now. Nights of soft exploration, nights where they'd tried to climb inside one another, be as close as they could, lost themselves in each other's touch. More often than not at Serena's, she had the biggest house, the nicer bed, the hotter shower, and the drawer that was all for Bernie.

They'd told the kids, Jason already knew of course, but they'd met separately with Cameron and Charlotte and Eleanor, and it had gone okay. Kids these days were pretty accepting. Once they'd got over the initial shock, they'd been pleased. Moving on and being happy and all that.

Bernie had told Marcus. She thought it was only right that he heard it from her rather than the kids or the rumour mill. He still did the odd locum shift. Never on AAU, Bernie acknowledged, but as their relationship was officially now common knowledge, she thought it only fair.

He'd been noncommittal. Had said all the right things. Bernie had felt bad and left feeling like he was a broken man. She'd returned for dinner at Serena's and Serena had held her and kissed her forehead and she'd felt a bit better. The damage had been done and yes she'd done the damage, but it had been over long before Alex and months before Serena.

Bernie touched Serena's cheek affectionately as the kiss broke. “D’yoy think … another colour with the grey?” Bernie asked, clearing her throat. “Or just a white shirt?”

“White shirt,” Serena replied, nodding.

“Okay then.” Bernie got out of the car and Serena copied her.

November was chilly. The air con in each shop did nothing to help this fact, and the shopping centre was partly open air anyway. They pulled their coats tight around them, held hands from one shop to the next. When they reached House of Fraser Serena squeezed Bernie's hand. “Would you mind if I went off on my own?”

“See you in the changing rooms?” Bernie said, smiling shyly.

“Okay.”

They split up, Bernie moving towards one side of the department store whilst Serena went to the other. Bernie walked around for a while. She really did hate shopping. The confusion and mild frustration must have been obvious because after a few minutes a shop assistant approached. “Anything I can help you with?”

Bernie looked up and smiled politely. “I think I'm okay,” she said, dipping her head.

“What're you looking for?” Bernie looked up and blinked. The girl was giving her a crooked smile, her curly hair falling in her face.

“A suit. For a wedding.” The girl nodded.

“As a guest, or…?” Bernie blushed, which confirmed the girl’s suspicions.

“Yes. A guest.”

“Colour?”

“Grey.”

“Right this way.” The girl, whose name badge said Michelle, led her round various aisles and they collected a whole pile of clothes. The girl carried them to the dressing room and then handed them to Bernie. “Give me a shout if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Bernie said to Michelle, sincerely. Michelle grinned and nodded.

Bernie walked into the dressing room area and found a cubicle, but not before she saw Serena, leaning against a doorframe, waiting for her. “Hello stranger, what took you so long?” Serena asked. She clocked the pile in Bernie's arms. “Goodness.”

“I needed some help,” Bernie said, hanging up the items chosen for her and leaning back out of the cubicle. “Wow,” she said when she saw what Serena was wearing.

Purple dress, knee length, capped sleeves, small V-neck, gathered at the waist on one side. Socks on her feet just made the outfit, Bernie wished she'd just go like that to the wedding. Serena blushed shyly.

“You like?” she said, dipping her head.

“Uhm …” Bernie cleared her throat. “Yep. I like.”

Serena smiled, then gestured with a finger. “Come on then, Major, let's see some suits.” Serena watched her disappear into the cubicle and grinned. Suppose the dress would have to do then, if it rendered the blonde practically speechless.

“The girl said this one would probably be the best fit,” Bernie said as she stepped out. Serena nearly fell over.

“I think I need to find this girl and give her my gratitude,” she said, gripping the cubicle wall. The suit hugged Bernie in all the right places. Slacks were fitted but not so tight they looked uncomfortable, pale grey, thick fabric, almost tweed-patterned. The white shirt was simple and buttoned up high, the kind you could wear with a tie if you so wished. The waistcoat, and this Serena decided was her absolute favourite piece of Bernie's wardrobe to date, was tailored into her waist, large black buttons down the front, cut to a V just by Bernie's sternum.

“Is it okay?” Bernie asked, moving to the mirror at the end of the row of cubicles, turning this way and that, not sure. Serena came up beside her and slipped an arm round her waist, just smiled broadly at her.

“I'll take your earlier ‘wow’ and raise you a ‘bloody hell woman’,” Serena breathed into her ear. Bernie smiled at Serena's reflection. “Just one thing.” Serena lifted both hand to Bernie's neck and undid the top two buttons. She teased the sides apart a bit, stepped back and dropped her hands. “There. Perfect.”

“Well that was quick. Usually it takes me ages to find something I like.”

“I'm glad you had help then.”

“Yeah.”

“It'll be cold. I hope you have a jacket that'll do for the fireworks display.”

Bernie chuckled. “I can't believe they're having fireworks.”

“I think it's romantic,” Serena replied, going back into her cubicle. “See you in a minute.”

They paid for their clothes and Bernie took both bags, despite Serena's protests. “You know, you don't have to keep up the butch act, just because you have a new suit.” Serena was smiling.

“I like carrying your bags.” Well there was nothing Serena could say to argue with that.

They sat opposite one another, at the Japanese restaurant Serena had promised. As Bernie had been so good. Looked so good. Whatever.

“Thanks for today,” Bernie said as they waited for their food, fingering her glass of coke.

“You're welcome.”

“I would have probably just … thrown something on.”

“It's important to treat yourself sometimes,” Serena told her, fingers round her own glass, but unbending to touch Bernie's. Bernie smiled, Serena's fingertips were icy on her knuckles, from the cool glass.

“I'm not really any good at that.”

Serena chuckled. “I know you're not.” She narrowed her eyes in thought. Bernie narrowed hers in suspicion.

“What are you planning?”

Serena parted her lips and looked like she was going to say something, before changing her mind and taking a sip of her drink.

They found the perfect present from the both of them, Bernie giving Serena the cash for half. “First thing we've bought together isn't it,” Serena mused, a small smile on her face. Bernie smiled back and touched her forearm with gentle fingers.

“Yes it is.”

When they got back to Serena's, she made them pasta and poured some wine. Bernie set the table. Jason was at Alan’s watching world’s strongest man for the night. “Are you staying over?” Serena asked.

“If that's okay?” the blonde replied.

“Course.”

They ate in comfortable silence. This must be what it should be like, Bernie thought, scraping her plate with her fork. The ability to just sit and eat and be relaxed in one another's company.

“You know … how …” Bernie jumped and caught Serena's eye.

“Sorry. Miles away. What?” Serena smirked at her a bit.

“You know how you're not great at treating yourself?”

“Ah. Yes?” Bernie said, wondering whether Serena was bringing up whatever sneaky scheme she seemed to have been considering at lunch.

“Would you mind if I treated you?”

“I … suppose not.” They cleared away the plates and Bernie helped Serena fill the dishwasher. “What did you have in mind?” Bernie leant against the counter as Serena went to the fridge.

“Dessert,” Serena said, handing her a small plastic pot containing something creamy and chocolatey. “And then... Maybe a bubble bath?” Bernie wrinkled her nose a bit and Serena opened her dessert, taking a teaspoon from the cutlery drawer. She handed one to Bernie. “Not a fan?”

“Not really.”

“What about if I joined you?”

Bernie grinned, taking a mouthful of the dessert, ah tiramisu, lovely. “In that case, I think I could be persuaded.”

After the dessert, which although came in a plastic pot and was not homemade, was actually quite a pleasant indulgence, Serena went upstairs to start running the bath. Bernie cleared away the spoons and put the dishwasher on. She realised suddenly that her life had taken a domestic turn, in a way it never had when she came home before, with Marcus and the kids. When had she become the person that Serena trusted to turn on her dishwasher? She didn't feel like a guest anymore, she felt like part of the household.

Bernie made her way upstairs. The soft sound of running water and a soft voice singing made her stop on the top step. She couldn't make out the song but caught a few words. She smiled and leant against the bannister until Serena came out of the main bathroom. “Hi,” Bernie said, grinning.

“Nearly full,” Serena told her, gathering big towels and going into the bedroom with them. Bernie followed her.

They shyly undressed together in the bedroom. They hadn't done that before but Serena shrugged to herself and decided to take the plunge. If they were going to clamber together into her bath then what was a little undressing? “We'll be cutting it fine tomorrow, finishing work at five, getting to the venue at six-thirty,” Serena said, unhooking her bra and sliding it down her arms. “And that's if we don't get a trauma in at five-to.”

Bernie looked up a moment and Serena was thankful she didn't stare for long. “Want me to get ready here? We could get a taxi in together couldn't we?”

“Seems sensible.”

“Does that mean I'll be staying over two nights in a row?” Bernie asked, undoing her jeans and pulling them down her legs as she sat on the bed.

“If you like.”

“Are you sure that's okay?” Serena smiled and nodded, stepping out of her underwear and quickly wrapping her towel round her. She sat on the edge of the bed next to Bernie and watched her pull her socks off.

Serena wanted to ask her a big question she'd been thinking about for several days. It caught in her throat each time she tried to form the words, and she felt stupid at how terrified she found herself. What if Bernie was shocked at the question, what if she bolted, what if it was still too soon?

They had time, of course they did. But Bernie was at Serena's, ate with them and slept over, more nights than she was away. She'd become part of Serena's little, slightly odd, family. Serena hated to admit it to even herself, the independent woman she was, but she found it difficult to fall asleep these days without Bernie in the bed next to her. Even when all they did was sleep, they always touched in some way, spooned up warmly or just lay their hands together on the pillows. Serena felt so close to her, sometimes watched her fall asleep, sometimes dreamt they were married in some strange fairytale.

Bernie held the towel loosely in front of her. Serena sighed. Bernie had never been quite as shy as she felt when she was naked. Serena was sure it was the military background rather than anything else. She supposed there wasn't a huge amount of room for modesty in the desert.

The bath was steaming, full of bubbles, and smelt like something floral. Bernie smiled at the candles dotted around the bathroom. The main light was turned off. It was dark outside the frosted window. The bath was a corner one, with a shower door along one side, Serena had pushed it back. Bernie held out a hand, indicated Serena should get in first. Serena took Bernie's hand and stepped in, dropping the towel onto the closed seat of the toilet before lowering herself into the bubbles.

Bernie placed her towel on top of Serena's and climbed in after her, steadying herself with a hand against the side of the bath before bending her knees and sitting down to face the brunette.

Knees drawn up, chin atop them, Serena smiled at her, reaching out a hand along the side of the bath. Their fingers interlaced and Bernie stretched out her legs to the side of where Serena sat. The water didn't cover her breasts completely and Serena found her gaze wandering down the blonde's front. “How's this?” Serena asked, ripping her gaze from the blonde's chest.

“Lovely. Thank you.”

Bernie reached to touch Serena's knee. “Aren't you going to relax?” Serena blushed and looked to the side. Bernie smiled at her kindly. “Come on now. I think you're beautiful,” she whispered, thumb caressing her knee. Serena sighed, looked back at Bernie and relented, dropping her knees and stretching out her legs, leaning back a little into the bath. Bernie's eyebrows flicked up twice. “Much better.”

Serena brought her hands up to cover herself. “Honestly,” she hissed, but was smiling. Bernie wiggled her fingers on the side of the bath, Serena lifted her hand again to slide their fingers together.

Bernie kindly ceased her blatant ogling and closed her eyes, leant back against the bath side, enjoying the warm water and pleasant aromas. She smiled as the brunette's foot touched her ribs as she tried to get comfortable, but didn't open her eyes. She dropped her free hand down and smoothed her fingers against the inside of Serena's calf.

Serena hummed out a sound of contentment and squeezed Bernie's fingers. She closed her eyes too and lay her head back. She sighed as she felt Bernie's fingers trail loose patterns on her calf, then down to her ankle, then up to her knee.

“Okay, please tell me we're going to do this at least once a week?” Bernie breathed after a while.

“Oh have I converted you then?” Serena said, surprised, lifting her head. Bernie hadn't even opened her eyes.

“I take it all back. I'm converted.” Serena chuckled and Bernie smiled with her eyes still closed.

“We can if you like.”

“It would really help my muscles after a long shift.”

“Mine too.” She felt Bernie's hand slip up past her knee and inhaled deeply. “Now, now.”

“What I'm not doing anything,” Bernie said, innocently, eyes still firmly closed.

“I’m trying to relax here and …” Serena tensed as the blonde's fingers slipped higher. “Bernie.”

“I don't know what you mean.” Bernie grinned, eyes still bloody closed. “I'm just having a relaxing bath.”

“Is that so.” Fine, Serena thought. She closed her eyes and firmly forced herself to relax, one knee dropping and the other just lapping the surface of the water. She dropped her hand from where it lay interlaced with Bernie's and sunk it back into the warm water at her side. She waited a while, hoping Bernie wouldn't cotton on.

Serena moved her hand smoothly through the water and found Bernie's knee. She just lay her hand there a moment, peeking an eye open and finding Bernie still relaxed, eyes smugly closed. She rolled her eyes inwardly and thumbed under Bernie's knee cap before sliding her fingers so very slowly upwards and inwards.

Bernie's side was flush against the outside of her thigh, so Serena felt each breath and each tense muscle. When Serena's hand reached half way up the blonde's thigh, Serena felt her tense. She stayed there a while, fingers circling and mischievously mimicking a caress she often did higher up. She felt Bernie tense some more and knew she'd had the desired effect.

Bernie's fingers lazily slipped between Serena's thighs where they were parted a little, the water making her fingertips drag and causing a little friction there. Serena forced herself not to part her legs more. She was enjoying the game, and she wanted to win.

She moved her hand up further, dipping into the hollow where Bernie's leg met her hip. She tickled there and slid her hand between Bernie's legs again, touching round the back of her thigh, scratching short nails against a tense buttock. She heard Bernie swallow audibly and peeked again, found Bernie flushed and fingers gripping the side of the bath. She smiled smugly and brought her fingers back up, feeling Bernie's fingers making their lazy but determined way to the soft hair between her legs.

They both inhaled deeply when fingers combed, caressed and circled, but did not descend. Serena smiled and opened her eyes fully to watch Bernie as she breathed deeply, chest and shoulders blush red, and as far as she could tell not from the warm water.

“Trust you to turn a relaxing bath into something else,” Serena laughed. She winked despite Bernie still having her eyes closed. “Have you ever done this in a bath before?” Her voice was quiet, tentative. Bernie finally finally opened her eyes.

“No, never.”

“Not even by yourself?”

Bernie raised an eyebrow. “No.”

Serena purses her lips and took her hand away, Bernie immediately frowned. Serena smiled gently at her. “It doesn't really work,” she tried to explain. Bernie frowned some more, confused. Serena grimaced and rolled her eyes. “It's not very … things wash away.”

“Ah,” Bernie said, understanding at last. “Right.” Then she looked at Serena with a glint in her eye. “By yourself, hey?” Well that's something we've never spoken about before, Bernie thought.

“Shhhh.” Serena folded her arms so her fingers played lightly with her own shoulders.

“So you …?”

“Not since our … first night together.”

“Before that?”

“Shhh.” Serena was blushing and looking at her with affection, but also warning in her eyes.

Bernie grabbed the side of the bath and pulled herself up to stand. “Come on then. Busy day tomorrow.”

“True,” Serena replied and she, awkwardly and with much giggling, stood up. They just stood in the bath, shivering a bit, before sliding their arms around one another. Bernie tucked Serena's head under her chin and they just breathed together for a while, wet skin against wet skin, until the cold of the bathroom became too much and they broke apart, grabbing the towels and wrapping themselves up warm.

They slept with limbs entangled that night, their shared arousal calmed for the evening. Serena watched Bernie fall asleep before drifting off and frustratingly realising she still hadn't asked her the question she had been meaning to. Oh well, tomorrow was another day.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day was steady but quiet on AAU. Between them they handled whatever A and E threw at them and did it with their usual flirty banter. Most of the shift were attending the evening do of the wedding and so Serena made a special effort to have everything in hand so that everyone could leave on time.

Having driven in together, Bernie and Serena found it simple enough to leave, get back to Serena's and get ready. Serena had found a long black cardigan with a (fake) fur lined hood and Bernie was wearing a warm but tailored jacket. They arrived fifteen minutes late, mostly because Serena had been in two minds about which shoes she wanted to wear.

The venue was a hotel that obviously used to be a farm house. The main room with dance floor and live band was an old converted barn attached to the hotel, dark exposed beams and small tables littered here and there. The bar was at the far end, the band to the left and big glass doors led out into the gardens and fields beyond. They sat with their friends from AAU, Keller and Darwin, and Serena bought them all a few bottles to share.

The band was good. A female singer and a male singer who either sang together, or separately as the songs dictated. Bernie sat close to Serena and held her hand when the female singer announced the first dance. The newly weds moved to the dance floor and the pianist began the introduction. Serena recognised it and smiled.

“You've been on my mind,  
I grow fonder every day,  
Lose myself in time,  
Just thinking of your face…”

As the song ended, And Charlie and Frankie got a round of applause from their guests, another song began and Serena squeezed Bernie's hand.

“Would you like to …”

“Alright?” Mikey was suddenly in front of them, holding out a small hand to Serena who smiled. “Ms Campbell,” he said like he had a mouth full of marbles, “wu-hood you like to da-harnce?” Bernie grinned and shrugged when Serena looked at her, question in her eyes.

“Go ahead,” Bernie laughed. “Aha but,” she said to Mikey, a finger raised. “Bring her back in one piece.”

“Yes ma’am,” the boy replied and Serena stood to let him lead her to the dance floor where quite a crowd of couples had gathered.

Bernie bit her lip and tried not to feel disappointed. If only Serena had started speaking a few seconds earlier, she'd be in the woman's arms now, not with the ten year old lad currently solemnly twirling her around. Bernie felt a bit better when Serena grabbed his hands and put them back on her back instead of where the young man had slipped them, a massive grin on his face.

Fletch came and sat with her. Bernie laughed and indicated the two on the dance floor. “Like father, like son,” she chuckled.

“Blimey,” Fletch replied. “Little toe rag.”

“He's fine,” Bernie told him sincerely, patting his arm.

Serena danced with Mikey until the end of the song. They both came over beaming. “Nice young man your son, Mr Fletcher,” Serena said. “Very nifty on his feet.” She leant into Bernie's space. “I need a glass of Shiraz.”

“Right this way,” Bernie said, taking her hand and leading her to the bar. “Next dance is mine, are we clear?” she chuckled.

“Oh I'm well in demand tonight,” Serena joked, “I'm just not sure I'll be able to fit you in.”

When they returned to the group Mikey was the life and soul of the party, offering everyone a dance, including Essie, who accepted and they went out onto the dance floor. Serena and Bernie laughed as he pulled the same stunt with his hands.

Fletch put his face in his hands before downing his pint of cider. Raf openly laughed.

When the next song came on, the lyrics flowed through the room, the young male singing this time.

“You look so wonderful in your dress,  
I love your hair like that,  
The way it falls on the side of your neck,  
Down your shoulders and back.”

Bernie lifted a hand to Serena's neck and gazed at her, thumb touching her ear. “Want to dance?” she asked gently as Serena gazed back.

“Okay.” Bernie pulled her hand and led her out.

“We are surrounded by all of these lies,  
And people who talk too much,  
You got the kind of look in your eyes,  
As if no one knows anything but us.”

Serena knew the words and mouthed them, face turned up to Bernie's as Bernie pulled her close, hands at the small of her back. Serena slipped her hands up round Bernie's neck.

“Should this be the last thing I see,  
I want you to know it's enough for me,  
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need.”

Serena smoothed the sides of Bernie’s neck with her thumbs. She could feel Bernie's hands on her waist, moving with the sway of her hips. Their eyes locked and Serena couldn't tear away, even if she wanted to. Bernie's gaze was soft, then a little longing, Serena recognised that look. Like she wanted them to be buried in each other. Like she wanted to rip her dress off right there. “You really have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” Bernie told her, voice breathy and shaky.

Serena's eyes became a little wet and Bernie frowned, worried, rubbed her back, kissed the top of her head. “I'm not upset,” Serena said. “You just make me feel so … cherished, I suppose. And I am really not used to that.”

“Well I'll just have to make it my job to get you used to it.”

“Bernie,” Serena breathed, blush creeping up her face. Bernie leant down and kissed her temple, lips lingering a bit.

“Should this be the last thing I see,  
I want you to know it's enough for me,  
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need.  
I'm so in love, so in love,  
So in love, love, love, love,  
So in love.”

Foreheads touching now, hands so gentle, hips moving together, Bernie lifted one hand and took Serena's hand from her shoulder, held it between them.

Music blended around them and they were lost alone together in that large hall. Even when the song changed and the female singer took over, they still danced.

“I need someone's hand to lead me through the night,  
I need someone's arms to hold and squeeze me tight,  
And when the night begins and until it ends,  
Oh baby I need your love so bad.”

It was a more acoustic version, less bluesy and more gentle, than the version by Fleetwood Mac. Serena lay her head on Bernie's shoulder.

“I need someone's lips to feel next to mine,  
I need someone to stand up and tell me when I'm lying,  
And when the lights are low and till it's time to go,  
Mmm I need your love so bad.”

Lost in the moment and unsure how long they danced or even whether the song changed whilst they were dancing, Serena visibly jumped in Bernie's arms when the male singer announced the fireworks beginning. They looked at one another for a moment, disappointment evident in both their faces.

Everyone broke apart on the dance floor, although Bernie wouldn't let go of Serena's waist with an arm. They went to get their jackets from where they had left them with Raf and Fletch. They all went outside the big glass doors and into the night.

A gravel path led them to a field, where oblong hay bales were littered around and large fluffy blankets had been laid out on each. It was mid November and the air was chilly. They sat and wrapped a blanket around them both, Bernie's arm still around Serena's waist, Serena's hand holding her other hand in her own lap.

The newly weds came out and the photographer followed them, catching them grinning at each other, doing all the cheesy things you did in wedding photos. Serena watched Bernie smile at them, felt her squeeze Serena's hand in her own and pull her closer under the blanket.

Bernie's hair was up in a clasp at the back of her head, but loosely, like she'd spent five seconds doing it (Serena knew she'd spent a lot longer). Serena's eyes trailed down to Bernie's ear with the simple silver stud, then the side of that gracious neck, down to the collar peeping over the top of the blanket. She ignored the anxiety in her stomach, they were after all amongst people they worked with and that respected them. Bernie still watched the couple being photographed. Serena leant forward to kiss her neck, right under her ear.

Bernie closed her eyes, leaning in to Serena's lips. Then she turned her head and caught Serena's lips with hers. A soft kiss. Enveloped in the darkness of the night and the warmth of the blanket. When they broke apart, Serena smiled so affectionately at her, Bernie's heart warmed and throbbed. “Are you warm enough?” Bernie asked, voice soft.

“I think so. Good idea with the blankets.”

The fireworks started then and they both looked up, faces bright, to watch. Bernie's thumb rubbed back and forth over Serena's knuckles. Bernie twitched a little when a rocket sped up into the sky and exploded. Serena turned to her. “You alright?”

Bernie took a deep breath. “Loud noises. Remind me of …” Serena's lips formed an ‘o’ of realisation.

“Do you want to go inside?”

“No I’m okay. Just so long as … you're here.”

“Well I'm certainly not going anywhere.” Bernie turned to look at her and Serena squeezed her hand, then reached up into blonde curls and guided Bernie's head onto her shoulder.

They sat like that, and each time a loud bang shook the sky, and Bernie tensed, Serena rubbed her arm and cooed soft words into her ear. She'd always wondered about Bernie's experience in the army and whether sometimes the memories scared her. The last couple of months they'd been sleeping together she'd occasionally woken to find Bernie on the edge of a nightmare, but holding her close and stroking her hair seemed to have the desired calming effect and they'd never spoken about it.

She didn't think it was a big problem, just something she had assumed most armed forces personnel probably went through at some point if they'd seen some action. Being blown up by the IED probably hadn't helped, Serena was sure. Sometimes she wished she knew who had been responsible, so that she could go over there and sort them right out.

One last huge explosion of purple sparks and the show was over. The crowd was whooping and clapping and the newly weds seemed pleased. Goodness knows how much the display must have cost.

Bernie lifted her head and wrapped her arms around Serena's back, smiling broadly. “I haven't enjoyed fireworks that much for ages.”

“It was a lovely display,” Serena commented, smiling back.

“Oh, no, I mean. Usually I duck out.” She shrugged. “Run away.” Fingertips played with the fabric of Serena's dress at her waist. “I feel safe tonight.”

“Good.” Serena brushed back a lock of blonde curly hair. “I told you I'm not going anywhere.” Serena's face went serious for a moment and Bernie swallowed.

“I suppose we'd better go back in,” she said. Everyone else was filtering back into the warmth.

“Actually,” Serena began, holding her so that she couldn't stand. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay,” Bernie breathed, getting comfortable again, sitting back a little so she could look at her.

“We've been … well I suppose … you've spent a lot of time at mine … recently … and I think …” Serena huffed frustratedly and looked away.

“You think I'm round too much?” Bernie asked, eyes forlorn. “Jason's routine is …”

“No. No that's not what I mean.”

“Because if he's bothered too much I can take a step back.”

“That's awfully sweet of you, Bernie but ...”

“Honestly it's okay, I understand your situation and his needs. They're more important than … me getting my end away.”

“Oh would you please shut up for a moment and let me speak?” Bernie's mouth closed and she gulped. “I'm trying to … although obviously failing miserably as it turns out … ask you to move in with me.” Bernie just stared at her for a minute, eyes wide and lips parted now. “You don't need to give me an answer straight away,” Serena explained, finally feeling a huge weight off her shoulders. This was the question she'd been holding back for so many days, never finding the right time. “I understand it's quite a leap for us.”

“I'd love to,” Bernie said, reaching to slide her arms fully round the brunette and lean into her for an embrace. “I hate my flat to be honest, it's nothing like your home.” Serena chuckled, the rest of the anxiety leaving her. She buried her face in Bernie's neck. “I hope Jason doesn't mind too much.”

“I already discussed it with him.”

Bernie pulled back, hands smoothing up to cup the back of her head. “Really?”

“Of course I did. We went through all the details. I think he's just pleased he will know that you're staying round every night instead of you deciding on the day, a bit more consistency for him.”

Bernie laughed. “Always the optimist.”

“Glass half-full kind of lad, my nephew.” Serena touched Bernie's face, fingertips skimming her cheekbones, her jaw. “I was half-worried you'd say no,” she admitted.

“Why?”

“Because it's only been a couple of months and … we're supposed to be taking things slowly.”

“I'm dropping that rule,” Bernie said, lifted Serena's hand to her lips and kissed the palm. “If you're in agreement?” Serena nodded, smiling toothily.

“It was good while it lasted.”

They danced the remainder of the night inside, various songs capturing their preference and causing them to grin at one another and pull each other to the dance floor. Raf watched them affectionately and smiled when Serena sat next to him at their little table. They both watched Bernie leave to go to the bar for drinks.

“The way you two are tonight,” Raf said, eyeing his boss happily, “anyone would think you'll be next up the aisle.” Serena smiled in that full and shy way she had and Raf’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “She's not proposed?”

“No, Raf, goodness,” Serena said, blushing and smacking his shoulder. “However, she has just agreed to move in with me.” She looked at him, cautiously.

“Brilliant,” Raf replied, putting and arm around her shoulders for a hug.

“Thank you,” Serena replied, just as Bernie returned. “Last one I think, my love,” she said to Bernie, who nodded.

“Congrats,” Raf said, giving Bernie a thumbs up. Bernie looked a bit suspiciously at Serena.

“What?” Serena said, hands open, “they are going to notice when we consistently drive in together and you change your address.”

“I suppose that's okay then,” Bernie said in mock reluctance. Raf stood to hug her too. “Blimey we’re only cohabiting.”

“Yeah but …” Raf shrugged. “It needs recognition. And you should mark the occasion.”

“Are you suggesting we have a house warming?” Serena asked.

“That's a nice idea,” Bernie said, smiling and sitting down next to Serena, taking her hand. “We could have nibbles and champagne.”

“Yes alright,” Serena warned.

“Have it just before Christmas and you could have eggnog,” Raf interjected.

“Oh God what have I got myself into?” Serena said, rolling her eyes and grinning at the blonde.

“You'll find out soon enough,” Bernie replied, her head to one side.

They arrived home in the taxi at around midnight. They kicked off their shoes and hung their coats up as quietly as possible. Both had had slightly too much wine, but were pleased to realise they both still had their faculties.

Jason's TV was on. Creeping into the bedroom, their bedroom, Bernie realised with a smile, they came together in a soft kiss. When they broke apart, Serena said softly, “I'm going have to make more room for your things.”

“I don't have that much stuff,” Bernie reassured her, reaching behind her to grasp the zip at the back of her dress. “I think this needs to come off.” Serena just smiled and nodded.

The dress slid to the floor without much coaxing and Bernie gulped, eyes wide. Black matching bra and pants set and stockings with lacy elastic tops. Serena looked away and folded her arms over her tummy. “Are you kidding, God Serena,” Bernie whispered, taking her elbows and wrapping Serena's arms around her own waist. She trailed her fingers over the brunette's spine as they kissed, slowly and deeply.

Serena's hands made quick work of the large black buttons on Bernie's waistcoat and then, pushing it back, on the buttons on the shirt she wore. “Really you do look rather sexy in that suit,” Serena said, her voice low, leaning down to kiss by her hand that was flat against Bernie's sternum.

“Well I didn't have much choice. The look in your eyes when I tried it on in the shop.”

“I do wonder what would have happened if I'd just have taken you right then and there, I wanted to.”

“I think we would have been banned from House Of Fraser for good.”

“And probably the whole of Cabot Circus shopping centre too.” They kissed again and Serena deftly popped the button on Bernie's fly. “Come on, I've shown you mine.”

Bernie let the dress trousers fall and stepped out of them, shrugged off the shirt and waistcoat too. “God those…” she reached to finger the edge of Serena's stockings. “I literally…”

“Usually I wouldn't buy new underwear for just an evening do, but I thought this time I'd splash out a bit. Treat myself.”

“Very important,” Bernie said seriously. Serena looked down.

“You don't think it's too …”

“What?”

“Slutty?” Serena grimaced around the word.

“No,” Bernie said almost horrified. “You look amazing.”

“Not so bad yourself, soldier.” Serena gazed at the white bra and matching silky-looking briefs adorning the blonde. Bernie let out a few deep shaky breaths and finally took Serena by the hips. Serena grinned, expecting to be pushed to the bed, but instead found herself up against the wall between the window and wardrobe. “Well this is new,” she breathed, a hand in the back of Bernie's hair, undoing the clasp to let her hair fall around her face, as her lips claimed hers.

“Sorry,” Bernie said when they came up for air. Serena pulled her back towards her, dismissing the apology with another kiss. She lifted a leg around Bernie's thigh and they both groaned softly at the contact.

Serena's arms wrapped around Bernie's neck as she was pressed up against her. The cool of the wall against her back and the warmth of Bernie against her front was a sweet contrast. Their kisses were hungry, tongues already involved, deep and searching. Serena groaned again as the blonde trailed her lips down her neck and between her breasts. She reached both hands back behind herself, but Bernie caught her hands with her own.

“Leave it on,” Bernie breathed, sucking at the top of one breast, above the soft edge of the new bra.

“Really?” Serena asked, a naughty glint in her eye. Bernie looked up to find her grinning.

“Definitely.”

“Stockings too?”

“Absolutely, definitely.” She looked down between them. “But these need to go,” Bernie said, indicating the briefs and kneeling down in front of her to slide them down Serena's legs. Serena kicked them off, making a mental note of where everything had so far landed so that she could tidy up later.

Bernie wrapped her arms round Serena's waist, still knelt on the floor, pressed her lips against the brunette's soft tummy. Serena smiled down at her, fingers playing lazily in the blonde curls. Bernie trailed her fingertips up her sides, palms brushing her breasts through the bra, as she stood, reaching to kiss her again, both of them moaning gently with the renewed contact.

As the kiss grew deeper again, Bernie's hands slid to Serena's thigh, lifting her foot from the floor, wrapping her thigh around Bernie's hip. Serena shuddered against her as Bernie's own thigh slipped between Serena's legs and pushed against the wet heat. Bernie felt overcome, dropped her head to bite Serena's neck and held her hips firmly to try and lift her.

It didn't go exactly according to plan due to Bernie having not been to the gym as regularly as usual and Serena not really expecting that sort of manoeuvre, at their age, for goodness sakes. Inevitably they ended up in a tangled mess, having caught one another before any serious injuries could occur. Serena laughed, arms under Bernie's as they maintained their balance against the wall. “What were you thinking, Major?”

“Sorry,” Bernie said, but at least she was laughing too.

“With your back?”

“I was overcome in the moment,” Bernie admitted, standing up properly and pressing Serena up against the wall again.

“Well don't try it again,” Serena admonished. “However …” she made a random hand gesture in the air by Bernie's ear, “overcome you get.”

“It's been … a … a fantasy of mine … for a while,” Bernie stuttered, blushing and feeling a little annoyed with herself.

“Well if we were twenty years younger then may be, but I don't want you injuring yourself to fulfil a fantasy.” Serena clocked how disappointed Bernie looked and her heart lurched. “Oh my poor macho army medic,” she cooed touching Bernie's cheek. “Won't I do just here?” She lifted her foot from the floor and pouted a bit in what she hoped was a sexy way. At least an adorable way.

Bernie lifted her eyes back to Serena's and a smile tugged the corners of her mouth. “I suppose,” she whispered, palm smoothing against the brunette's thigh, back and forth. She shifted her hips against Serena's again, pressed her back against the wall, and they both inhaled deeply.

As they kissed Bernie's hands skimmed from Serena's thigh upwards, up her side making her shiver, up over her shoulders and down her front, fingertips teasing the edge of the bra before palms cupped fully. Their hips started a tantalising dance, Bernie's thigh smoothing slickly against Serena's core, back and forth, pressing and rolling against that bundle of nerves and making Serena's knees weak. Serena in turn thread her fingers through Bernie's hair, caressed her neck, swept her shoulders.

Their breath mingled, hard and sharp, Serena desperately trying to stay upright as finally finally Bernie's fingers trailed downwards and between them, palm up, fingers curled, to rest her knuckles atop her own thigh. She slid her fingers between Serena's legs, right there right there. Serena gasped and felt Bernie lift her thigh higher around her waist.

Fingers stroking her clit for a moment, then slipping through wet folds and inside her. Bernie kissed the side of the brunette's neck and held her with her left hand under her thigh so tightly. She began a torturous rhythm, pressing her hips against the wall with each thrust of her hand. She looked at the woman before her, splayed so open, so accepting of this, all flushed and breathless and overwhelmingly sexy. She wanted to tell her but didn't know the words.

The two of them, leant up against the wall in the bedroom soon to be claimed as one they shared, trying to hold one another up, as Bernie did what she was doing, let's call it what it is, Serena decided, she's fucking me, I'm being fucked, and it is surprisingly good. She never imagined, well maybe she had secretly but not seriously, that this would ever happen, not at her age, not at Bernie's age either. She was at risk of crashing to the ground, the way the blonde's fingers were so firmly sliding inside her, fingers curling, making her legs shake, her toes curl into the carpet and her back warm. She gripped Bernie's shoulders, her head resting back against the cold wall, chest heaving. Her hips jerked with each thrust, and she felt the beginnings of release start right at her core. She wrapped her arms around Bernie’s strong shoulders, groaned against the lips still teasing her neck, then teeth biting, probably leaving a mark but Serena didn't care. She couldn't care about anything except the white heat between her legs and the strong grip of Bernie's hand at her thigh.

Serena shook, hard, remaining leg finally giving way. Bernie pressed her up against the wall, feeling the slick walls around her fingers flutter and then grip her, hard. Serena let out a groan, head stretching back against the wall, eyes rolling and closing as she shook. Bernie waited for her to relax, held her steady, stilled her hand inside her. When Serena finally calmed, Bernie kissed her gently on the cheek, slid her fingers out of her, and lowered them carefully to the floor.

Serena leant against the wall, the curtains swinging a little above them, and just breathed. “I'm sorry,” Bernie whispered. “I'm really not as strong as I thought I was.” She sat curled up next to her, back against the wardrobe, peppering kisses over her face, her shoulders, her neck.

“No … complaints from me,” Serena managed, clearing her throat and reaching to pull Bernie between her legs to lie against her, cheek against her collarbone. Bernie snuggled into her warm slightly sweaty skin, arms wrapping around Serena's waist and a contented smile on her face.

They sat like that for a while, wrapped within one another, but slowly backs began to ache and skin began to harden in goosebumps. ”Bernie,” Serena breathed, tucking the blonde's hair behind her ear.

“Mmmhmm?”

“This is lovely, but … my back hurts.” They helped each other off the carpet and climbed up the bed, resuming their earlier position against the pillows, with Bernie tucked under Serena's chin. “I really do love you,” Serena whispered, continuing her earlier affectionate smoothing of Bernie's hair.

“Love you too,” Bernie replied, fingertips playing innocently with the lace at Serena's right breast.

“And I believe I have some unfinished business to attend to,” Serena said, hand caressing over Bernie's hip. “Turn around.”

Bernie's eyebrows went up as Serena pulled her hip so that she was sat facing away from her, cradled between her legs. Serena guided her back to rest against her front, one hand on her hip, the other trailing under her arm and across her sternum. Bernie turned her head to one side, to look at her. Serena grinned. “You, my dear, are overdressed.”

Bernie immediately pushed her panties down, kicking them so that they flew across the room. They both chuckled a bit. “Better?” Bernie asked, leaning back against the warm brunette and lifting a hand to touch her jaw, bring her in for a kiss.

“Mmmhmm.” Serena shivered as she felt Bernie's palm smooth her thigh on top of the stocking. Serena slipped her hand down and tickled a finger round the blonde's navel for a moment, feeling her tense and stretch back a little. She slid her other palm down over Bernie's breast, still clad in the white bra, squeezed her fingers around, slipped a fingertip under the cup to circle a nipple. Bernie gasped and Serena grinned, moving her right hand down to slide between Bernie's legs.

Serena buried her face in the side of Bernie's neck as her fingertip touched that tiny sensitive bundle of nerves. She smiled at Bernie's gasp and touched her in small circles, surprised although no so much really considering what they'd just done, at the slickness of Bernie's sex. Bernie's palms swept up and down Serena's stockings and Serena thanked whatever had made her buy them. That was a little thing about the blonde that she could file away for later use – an interest in lacy stockings. She wondered what other sexy garments would turn her on. She thought she might enjoy finding out.

Bernie's back arched as she realised with a light laugh that she was so close, so very close. Serena's chuckle against her neck in response, and the quickening of her fingers, was her undoing; she writhed and shook and gasped, fingernails digging into Serena's thighs with gusto.

They breathed and breathed and held on to one another. Bernie reached up and cupped Serena's cheek, turning backwards to give her a soft and lazy smile. Serena smiled right back at her, then looked down towards her own thighs. “I think you left marks on me,” she said gently. Bernie sat up and looked down, one side then the other, then back again.

“Oh no, Serena I…” She traced a finger along a scratch mark through the stocking. There were four in either side, one for each fingernail where she'd gripped so hard and scratched with her climax. “I'm so sorry.” Her face was so forlorn that Serena heart broke a bit.

“It's okay,” she breathed, smiling genuinely and thumbing Bernie's cheekbone. “Worth it,” she murmured, pushing blonde tangles back from Bernie's face.

Bernie gulped and pouted a bit in self-conscious shame. “I really need to … not do that again though.” She shook her head, wrapped her arms round her knees. “I don't want to ever … hurt you.” Her fist clenched and she pounded the mattress a bit. “Never. Ever.”

Serena allowed her to have a few moments, knowing however she put it Bernie wouldn't accept the rationale. She smiled and stroked the blonde's cheek as Bernie leant down and slid her stockings down to expose the thin and superficial scratches there, lips pressing her apology into soft thighs. She spent a long time, forehead in her hand, elbow on the bed, lips kissing away any pain Serena may have felt.

When she was finally satisfied she had made up for any discomfort she had caused the brunette, Bernie sat up again. “I love you, Serena.”

“I know,” Serena said. “Love you.” Serena's eyes were drooping and her breathing was deep.

“Time for sleep,” Bernie said, reaching under Serena's pillow to pull out her pyjamas. “Let me,” she breathed as Serena held out a hand for them. Serena narrowed her eyes and raised an eyebrow in doubt but when she saw Bernie's guilty expression still evident, she complied. She wondered how long Bernie would spend trying to make it up to her. She didn't mind that part of it all at all, except that she hated Bernie feeling like she'd done something wrong.

Bernie slid the stockings the rest of the way down her legs, and sweet woman, turned them the right way out before laying them gently on the bed at the foot. She reached behind Serena's back to unhook her bra, kissing one shoulder then the other, dropping the bra by the stockings. She lifted the pyjama shirt, unbuttoned it, sliding it gently over Serena's arms and doing up the buttons one by one. She kissed right at the corner of Serena's lips; Serena closed her eyes and sighed.

Bernie took the pyjama trousers and rolled a leg in both hands to slip it over a foot, then doing the same the other side. Serena began to feel a bit ridiculous, she could dress herself perfectly well thank you very much. Serena stilled Bernie's hand on her knees where the pyjama trousers were bunched. “Yes okay,” Serena said quietly, smiling affectionately at her partner, lover, girlfriend? “I think I can do the rest.”

Bernie nodded and stood from the bed to collect their discarded clothes, actually folding each piece (very sweet woman, Serena thought) and laying it carefully on the armchair. She took off her own bra, lay it on top. She crossed her arms over her front. “I can't believe I did that.”

“That's enough,” Serena said kindly. “Heat of the moment. Will you let me forgive you?”

“I thought you kept life-long grudges.”

“Not with those I actually care about,” Serena replied, smiling. “Just moronic ex-husbands that drink too much and cheat on me.” She reached under Bernie's pillow (and now it really was Bernie's pillow), grabbed her pyjamas and tossed them to her. Bernie's caught them neatly and quickly pulled them on, shivering a bit. She climbed under the covers and turned out the lamp on her side (Bernie's side, where she would sleep each and every night now).

Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena and pulled her close, burying her nose in her hair and inhaling deeply. “Mmmm,” she murmured.

“Night, my love,” Serena whispered, liking that, the sweet name, the way it sounded. Making a personal promise to herself that she would continue to use that with Bernie for however long she could. 


	7. Doorbells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They move in together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to @shellylas17 for her unending support and contribution of ideas!!!

 

“I don’t understand, Serena,” Bernie said, frown clearly creasing her eyes. “Why don’t you want to be there?”

Serena huffed at the blonde. They were in their office, mid-way through an awkward lunch, at the end of which Bernie was due to leave work, pick up the ever-helpful Jason, and take half a day to transport her boxes from her own measly flat to Serena’s, well, their, house. They had given themselves a few weeks to sort it all out, taken their time. Today was the day. “Well for one thing, I need to stay here to keep this place running whilst you’re unpacking.” Bernie started to protest guiltily, but Serena stopped her with a hand raised. “Which I do not mind doing in the slightest. But Bernie,” she said, standing to round their desks and stand behind her. “I want you to move and unpack in your own time. We have completely different ways of working when it comes to household things and I want you to do it your way.”

Bernie blinked up at her, head dropping to one side. Serena touched her shoulders and dug her fingers into the tense muscles a little, Bernie sighed. “I thought ... you didn’t want to ... help me.”

“It isn’t that at all, my love,” Serena said, finding the sweet name for her companion now tripping off her tongue easily. She rubbed Bernie’s shoulders and felt her finally relax. “I just ... I know what I’m like. And I know what you’re like and ... I want you to do your thing without having me stressing you out.”

“Okay,” Bernie said, smiling up at Serena. “Thank you.”

“Saves us fighting over where you’re going to put your toothbrush.” Bernie chuckled.

“I suppose.”

“And Jason will be there to assist. His organisational skills are top-notch,” Serena told her, a softer hand at her cheek. They smiled properly at one another.

“If I could kiss you right now,” Bernie said, tilting her chin upwards, a slightly wicked and totally inappropriate-for-work smile on her face.

“Then you would run out of time to eat your lunch,” Serena said, a cheeky glint in her eyes. “And then my big macho army medic wouldn’t have the required energy to lift all those boxes.” She patted the blonde’s shoulder and walked back round to her own desk, sat and ate her lunch. Bernie nodded, and ate her own.

It was quiet during the afternoon and as usual Serena found her mind wandering. She was perhaps just a little bit anxious about the blonde moving into her house. Everything was just so and had been for the last fifteen years. Things had changed slightly when Jason moved in, of course, but it was mostly in his bedroom and on the shelves where he kept his DVDs, so she hadn’t minded so much. Serena would be sharing her bedroom though, properly, wardrobe space and all. Food cupboards would undoubtedly be filled with things she wasn’t expecting or didn’t even recognise. Bernie’s housekeeping skills really were not up to par, although they had agreed to find a cleaner for a once a week blitz so that a) Serena didn’t complain and b) Bernie didn’t feel guilty. That was something at least.

Serena drummed her fingertips on her desk and sorted through various emails she had absolutely no interest in. She picked up her mobile and unlocked it, went into her message app. She typed:

‘Everything going ok? Xx’

It was only three PM, really did she expect them to be back at the house already with the van? Serena tapped her fingers. The minute she lifted her eyes back to her computer screen her phone bleeped.

‘Going great so far, Jason made me a cuppa. Xx’

Making good time then. Serena smiled finally, gazing at her phone in affection. That nephew of hers really did know the perfect thing to do sometimes. She touched her bottom lip with a finger, absentmindedly.

‘Good. What’s for dinner? Xx’

They’d agreed that Bernie would cook, or at least go collect, their first dinner together as a cohabiting couple. For Jason, it was a slight break from his routine, but he’d smiled and nodded and understood the rationale. It was a special occasion and he was okay with that.

‘Still a surprise! Xx’

Serena groaned and grinned. It was a good job she and Bernie had similar tastes in food. She was pretty sure Bernie would choose the nice Chinese takeaway round the corner as she knew how tired she would be after moving and unpacking. And she was actually in the mood for Chinese.

At five PM, Serena was at the nursing station with Raf, carefully watching a patient Fletch seemed to be having trouble with. “D’you think we should intervene?” Raf asked.

“Give him a minute,” Serena murmured, eyeing the scene with interest. “I think she’s putting it on.”

They both chuckled silently and attempted to hide by turning around when the female patient Fletch was assessing finally exhaled deeply after holding her breath for nearly a minute. “I did wonder,” Raf laughed, shaking his head in amusement.

Serena laughed too. “She had her cheeks puffed out, oh come on Nurse Fletcher wake up.” Fletch came over then, flustered but grinning a bit.

“I was just testing the waters,” he said, hands up and head bowed.

They had a pleasant final hour of their shift together, teasing Fletch and generally being kind and friendly towards one another. Raf insisted Serena should go at six on the dot, and Serena didn’t need telling twice. “Although, I will be repaying the favour at some point,” she promised, patting his arm.

“I hope Bernie hasn’t messed up your place too much,” Raf said with a grimace.

“Oh I’m sure she and Jason have done a marvellous job,” Serena replied smiling, but deep down, she hoped so too.

She drove just a little bit too fast and stopped, as requested earlier, by the off-license to collect something special for them to drink. Jason had ginger beer in stock. She by-passed the shiraz for once and chose something a little more Bernie’s cup of tea. Not tea, however, but Baileys. She figured they could have some in hot chocolate as a nightcap.

When she got home, she discovered the house reasonably tidy, the flattened cardboard boxes in some semblance of a stack, up against the kitchen counter. She called out to her nephew and partner, confused to where they were. She pottered around a little, checking in cupboards and on the DVD shelves finding small items neatly slotted away amidst Jason’s things and her own. She smiled. Romantic comedies and costume dramas. Who’d have thought it?

She kicked her shoes off and padded upstairs, peeking into her bedroom, their bedroom. Neat and tidy. She frowned. She stepped in and checked the wardrobes and drawers, finding all of Bernie’s things and realising she’d made a special effort to be tidy. She bit her lip and wondered how long that would last. Oh well, she was a highly skilled and efficient nagger, and now they had a cleaner. She popped her head into the en suite and grinned at the plain shower gel and shampoo she found in her shower, neatly next to her own. Bernie really was here, although not right that second in body, but in each little addition she found. A small jewellery box lay on the shelf in the bathroom and Serena carefully tipped it open. A few earrings, a couple of pendants and a single bracelet she’d never seen Bernie wear.

She padded downstairs to discover still no Jason or Bernie, so she put the television on and channel surfed for a while, remote in her hand as she poured a glass of her favourite red from the kitchen counter. She leant against the counter and looked over the breakfast bar, idly watching a simple quiz show (nothing like the impossible ones Jason watched, something she might actually be able to participate in).

A few minutes later she heard Bernie’s car pull up outside. She knew it was Bernie as the music was on loud and the windows obviously open, despite it being early December. She rolled her eyes but grinned, turning off the TV. She was home, they were home, this was home.

The doorbell sounded, then a pause, then muffled giggles from outside. She heard the key in the lock and walked to the door to greet them. “Whoops,” Bernie said, arms laden with bags. “Force of habit.”

Serena took a bag from her and reached to kiss her. “Hurry up, I’m cold,” Jason complained, standing behind Bernie on the porch, hankering to go in.

“I’m sorry, Jason,” Serena said, letting Bernie go. Bernie’s face was beaming and it was all she could do to refrain from kissing her again. “No need to ring the doorbell, my love.”

“I know. Forgot I lived here for a moment.” Jason inched round them and carried his own bag inside, tutting at them. They watched him walk through into the kitchen and then turned back to one another.

“Welcome home,” Serena breathed, and they embraced, bags clunking against them, Serena’s cheek against Bernie’s shoulder.

“Auntie Serena, Bernie put the windows down in her car and turned the music up loud it was ... Very loud.” Serena raised her eyebrows, took Bernie’s hand and led her into the kitchen.

“Well, I hope you didn’t disturb our neighbours with your gallivanting.”

“And she drives much faster than you,” Jason continued, taking his own dinner out of the bag and lining up the boxes on the counter. “I think Bernie should always be my dedicated driver.”

“Oh, do you?” She rolled her eyes at Bernie, who just smiled smugly and lifted her bag onto the counter. Serena didn’t miss the grimace on her face at the move, but chose to ignore it for the moment. “I appear to have been fired.”

“He just prefers my taste in music,” Bernie said, with a flippant wave of her free hand, then a touch to Serena’s jaw as she started to empty her bag. “I got Chinese.”

“How lovely,” Serena replied, sincerely, starting to unpack the bag she was holding.

“I will cook for you properly next time,” Bernie promised.

“I did think you would be too tired to cook tonight.” Bernie looked sheepishly at her. “Aha, and I brought something a little different to have with dinner.” Serena went into the fridge and held up the bottle. “Tada.”

“Baileys,” Bernie said, nodding. “Fab.”

“Hope it’s okay.”

“Actually, yeah. Do you have ice?”

“Hmmm. You could scrape some off my car.”

Jason stepped up, his glass in his hand. “I haven’t tried Baileys.”

“Would you like to?” Bernie said without thinking, but Serena nodded to her, reassuring her it was okay.

“Just a bit. Is it alcoholic?”

“Yes, it’s quite strong.” Bernie opened the bottle and poured him a small amount. He drank a bit and considered for a while.

“I think I prefer ginger beer. But it’s not bad.”

“It’s good in hot chocolate,” Bernie said and Serena raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Good God we are so alike,” she said, and Bernie smiled, pouring them both tumblers full of the sweet creamy liquid.

They ate their meals with their usual relaxed banter, Jason telling them all about his morning at the library, where he had researched various things that took his fancy in the moment. Then he described in great detail how they had collected the boxes from Bernie’s flat in the van, and how he had sat in the front and pointed out signs for various things. “He was very helpful,” Bernie said, nodding. “He told me off for speeding once or twice.”

“Well you were speeding. You did thirty-three miles an hour in a thirty mile-an-hour area. That’s breaking the law.”

“I’m very sorry,” Bernie said, hanging her head. Jason grinned.

“It’s okay. You must have felt strange driving something so big.” Both women raised their eyebrows in surprise at the young man’s sudden spark of empathy.

“It was a bit ... strange, I suppose,” Bernie admitted. “I prefer my car.”

“I prefer your car too. Although visibility is better in the van, your car has better music and a better sound system.”

Bernie and Jason smiled at one another and Serena’s heart felt warm. She’d known, of course she had, that they would get on just fine together. Bernie was always so gentle and patient with him. Her gaze drifted to the blonde, who was eagerly tucking into her noodles and proceeding to get sauce all over her chin. Serena grinned and wished they had a smaller table, so that she could reach across and swipe that sauce away.

After dinner, Bernie and Serena refilled their glasses and they sat on the sofa to watch their customary eight o’clock TV show. Tonight it was QI, but the new series. “Sandi Toksvic’s married to a woman, Auntie Serena.”

“Is she?” Serena replied, leaning back against Bernie’s arm, which lay against the sofa back.

“Yes. And they have kids.” Jason frowned in thought. “Are you going to have kids?”

“Er ... I ... doubt it,” Serena said, a little flustered. “We’re a little long in the tooth for all that.”

“That’s true,” he said, and as the credits began, he turned back to the TV. Serena tried not to feel offended.

“That’s not something we’ve talked about,” Bernie whispered in Serena’s ear and Serena blushed.

“We already have four between us if we count Jason.” Bernie chuckled, squeezed her around the middle, a hand on her belly, smoothing a bit.

“I think I’d have liked to have seen you pregnant.”

“Oh no you wouldn’t. I was not your typical glowing and nesting type, believe me.” Bernie smirked and pressed her lips to Serena’s neck, affectionately.

“Still. Do you have photos?”

“I think so, somewhere.” Bernie grinned.

“Show me later?”

“Only if you have some too, both times, I may add.” Bernie hissed a laugh and Jason turned to them, gave them an admonishing look. “Sorry, Jason,” Serena said, trying to look guilty.

Bernie kept her hand flat on her stomach for the rest of the episode and Serena found it felt extra loving. Had they met ten years ago, in pre-menopausal ignorance, maybe they would have thought about it. But, she supposed, their careers would have probably gotten in the way, and then Jason. And even then, they’d both done that with their lives. They’d both done the having-babies thing.

Serena felt suddenly a bit sad. They didn’t really have the choice. Not that any child would have been an amalgamation of both of their genetic material, but ... Having said that, if they’d have met ten years ago, they probably wouldn’t have gotten together at all anyway. Without the things they had experienced, they probably wouldn’t have even met.

Placing a hand over the one at her belly, Serena sighed deeply. No, she thought. This was where she wanted to be. Right here in Bernie’s arms with Jason sitting watching his shows. She reached with her other hand to the coffee table and caught up Bernie’s glass, handed it to her. Bernie smiled and took it. Serena collected her own. They sipped and watched the show, laughed at the banter between Sandi and the adorable Alan Davies. They’d brought the bottle to the coffee table. They refilled their glasses a couple more times before the end of the programme.

At nine, Jason headed upstairs, reminding them both that although they were not working tomorrow, they shouldn’t drink the whole bottle between them. Something about the correlation between alcohol and staircase-related falls. Bernie and Serena grinned broadly at him, and waved him goodnight.

They turned to one another and caught each other’s gaze. Serena giggled, her fingers playing idly with her pendant, the sweet alcohol bringing out a little of that mischievous side of hers. She leaned on one hip and rested a hand on Bernie’s thigh, bringing her lips to just under the blonde’s ear. She breathed out a sigh and flicked her tongue out once. Bernie inhaled sharply, raised her eyebrows and looked at the bottle. “Well, Shiraz aside, I do like you on Irish Cream.”

“You should see me on tequila,” Serena said, pulling back to capture Bernie’s lips, hands cupping her cheek, sliding into her hair. Bernie felt her kneel up and straddle her as they kissed, lips crushing for a moment, before tongues softened. Bernie moaned as Serena’s tongue flicked out between kisses, caressing her lips, the tip of her own tongue. She could taste the Baileys. Serena pressed her against the back cushions of the sofa.

Bernie moaned again but Serena immediately pulled back. “What?” Even after four glasses of Bailey’s, Serena knew passion from pain.

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Fine, my bloody eye,” Serena said gently, a hand at her upper arm, rubbing. Bernie rolled her eyes and rubbed Serena’s hips, trying to reassure her.

“It’s my back.” Serena knelt off her and sat back against the sofa cushions.

“Ah. I knew I should have sent you on that manual handling training,” she said, stern but gentle.

“It was just the one, slightly too heavy box.” Bernie shifted to the edge of the sofa and hissed through her teeth. “I’ve been ignoring it all day.” Serena looked so sympathetic Bernie almost didn’t feel so foolish.

“Well, you’re a silly sausage, aren’t you?” She stood from the sofa, held out a hand. “Can I interest you in an Irish hot chocolate in bed? And perhaps a massage?” Bernie nodded and groaned as she stood, a hand at the small of her back. “Oh my poor baby,” Serena said, kissing her gently on the cheek, before stumbling round the sofa and into the kitchen. Bernie smiled despite the pain as she watched her wobble a bit. A drunk Serena. This could be an interesting evening.

They put the bottle, three-quarters empty, back into the fridge and took their warm drinks upstairs. Serena took Bernie’s from her before motioning towards the bed. “Go on, strip and lie down.”

Bernie grimaced and sat on the edge of the bed. “Way to make a girl feel wanted.”

“I want you all the time,” Serena told her, wickedly, placing the mugs on either bedside table, smiling round at her. “Sometimes even at work.”

“Really?” Bernie undid her shirt buttons and awkwardly pulled it down her arms.

“Sometimes.”

“When?” Despite being in pain she was enjoying this uninhibited side of her lover.

“When we’re in our office,” Serena said, eyes shining and lashes low, starting to undress. “When you’re busy with a patient file or something on the computer. Sometimes I watch you.”

“Do you?” Bernie undid her trousers and slipped them off, reaching out to grab them off the floor but tears springing to her eyes as her back complained bitterly. “Ah.”

“It’s okay,” Serena said quickly moving round to collect Bernie’s clothes from the floor. Bernie then tried to reach behind herself but grimaced.

“God, how embarrassing.” Serena caught Bernie’s jaw in her hand, patted her cheek, looked at her with kind eyes.

“I’ve got your back, Ms Wolfe,” Serena breathed, sliding her hands behind the blonde to unhook her bra and smooth it down her arms and off. “Now go on, lie down.” Serena disappeared into the bathroom, throwing the bra in the washing basket on her way past.

Bernie looked at the washing basket, smiling at it, her laundry in Serena’s, no their, washing basket. It very much meant she lived here now, that their washing would be done together. She sighed, happily, before shuffling to the bed and lying on her front. She pulled a pillow under her head for good measure. Serena came out of the bathroom with a small bottle of oil, and clad in just a T-shirt. The hem ended mid-thigh. “Did you see your osteopath recently?” Bernie smiled, ever the healthcare professional first, her Serena.

“I fired him a long time ago,” Bernie told her, head to the side on the pillow, arms cradling her head. She allowed her eyes to trail over the hemline of that T-shirt, the way it brushed Serena’s thighs. She swallowed a bit, tore her eyes away.

“Maybe you should see mine?” Serena said, her eyebrows raised at the look on the blonde army medic’s face, knowing full well where her gaze had been and why.

“Does he come Campbell-recommended?”

“*She* does indeed,” Serena grinned. She poured some oil into her hands and knelt a little wobbly on the bed beside the blonde, rolling her eyes inwardly that she had chosen to put oil on her hands before getting on the bed, and therefore couldn’t steady herself properly. Oh well, wobbling would have to do. “And she’s not bad looking either,” she said, pursed lips covering a smile.

“Um excuse me?” Bernie hissed, grinning and pushing her eyebrows down.

“What?” Serena rubbed her hands together to smooth and warm the oil, before laying her hands on Bernie’s shoulder blades. “I can’t appreciate another woman?”

“Well ... I ...” Bernie closed her eyes, words faltering as they often did when Serena touched her.

“Don’t worry, Bernie, it’s just an observation. Makes the cracks and adjustments a little less torturous.” Serena smoothed her palms downwards, spreading the oil over the whole of Bernie’s back, before sweeping up again. Her skin was so soft. “You tell me if this is okay. I’m not exactly a back specialist.”

“Hmmm,” Bernie murmured, closing her eyes and relaxing into the pillow. Serena started applying a bit more pressure, keeping her eyes on Bernie’s face, attempting to gauge her reaction to her touch. She homed in on various areas, trying to catch where Bernie was feeling pain. In the end, Bernie just whispered, “thoracic.” Serena nodded and concentrated on that area.

After a few minutes of Serena pressing and circling the oil into her skin, Bernie started humming in appreciation. “Any better?” Serena breathed, just smoothing her palms against the oiled back in front of her now.

“Yep,” Bernie said after a beat. “Much. Thanks.” She made to get up but Serena shook her head.

“Don’t think I’m quite done just yet.” Bernie peeked open an eye and raised her eyebrows at the glint in Serena’s gaze.

“Oh, really?”

“Mmmhmm.” Serena smiled. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes.” Serena nodded, swept her hands back up Bernie’s back, up to her shoulders, and back down right to the small of her back. She swallowed a bit and reached to the bedside table where she’d put the oil, opened the bottle and poured a drop more onto her hands. She capped the bottle again and brought her hands back to Bernie’s lower back, rubbing the muscles there before slipping her hands lower, under those plain practical briefs, to those soft cheeks, copping a feel, before moving back up again. Bernie chuckled. “Enjoying yourself?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Serena knelt up on the bed and leant over. Warm palms slid up to Bernie’s shoulders, then down her upper arms, then under them. Oiled fingertips brushed the sides of her breasts. Bernie inhaled long and deep, shivering as careful fingers snuck between her skin and the pillow, cupped and squeezed a little. Serena leant down to place a kiss on Bernie’s cheek. Those fingers travelled down a few inches, fingertips digging into the muscles at her sides.

Bernie squeaked, a sound Serena had never heard before, and pushed up from the bed, swatting at Serena with a palm. Serena’s eyebrows hit her hairline. She grinned, watching Bernie shift up the bed, sit facing her, knees up to her chest. “Really?”

“Oh no,” Bernie warned her, hands out as Serena crawled up the bed towards her. “Don’t you dare.” Serena grasped her around the waist and used her own hips to pin her down onto her back, digging fingertips into her side again and causing Bernie to shriek, attempting to push her away, beginning to laugh and squirm. Bernie tried to retaliate, digging her fingers into Serena’s side too, but couldn’t quite manage the motor skills needed. “Please stop,” she laughed, tears glistening in her eyes, hands pushing.

Serena tickled her a moment longer, causing Bernie to squirm and tense underneath her, then took pity on her. The loud and uncontrollable laughter was damn sweet, but it probably wasn’t very kind. She lay against Bernie and her hands trailed up to her cheeks, thumbs brushing away those tears. Bernie was flushed, a grin plastered on her face. “Aha, so now I know,” Serena said, wickedly.

“That is so unfair,” Bernie complained, hands loosely on Serena’s hips, fingers sneaking beneath the T-shirt, that hemline she’d been so fascinated by. “You must be ticklish somewhere.”

“Obviously not as much as you are.” Bernie grinned up at her, hair splayed out on the pillow. “At least now I know what to threaten you with if we ever disagree on anything at work.”

“So unfair,” Bernie said, turning her head a little to kiss Serena’s palm.

“How’s your back?”

“Not so bad.” Serena gave her a stern look, but accompanied by a pout that just made Bernie grin harder. “Really,” she chuckled, “it’s okay.” She sighed deeply, reaching up with one hand to cup the back of Serena’s head, fingers sinking into her hair. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” Serena breathed, dropping her lips to Bernie’s to kiss her. The kiss was slow and sleepy and soft. Bernie palm smoothed up and down Serena’s back, the fingertips of the other scratching a little at the brunette’s scalp. When they broke apart, they smiled softly at one another.

“I ... really need a shower,” Bernie said, apology in her eyes. Serena blinked.

“Oh.”

“Lugging boxes around all day. I did plan on having one earlier but someone’s nephew was in a chatty mood, and kept plying me with cups of tea.” Serena knelt up off her and clasped her hands together, looked away a bit.

“I didn’t think you smelt too bad,” Serena said, clearly disappointed in the loss of contact.

“I don’t feel comfortable,” Bernie admitted. “Also, I don’t want to spoil your routine.”

“Routine?” Serena asked, turning back to her, curiously eyeing her.

“I just thought ...” Bernie started, sitting up and reaching for Serena’s clasped hands. “... if we both shower in the morning ... one of us will have to get up way before we would usually. And I don’t mind having one at night. If it’s more convenient.” Serena looked up then and caught her gaze, smiling a bit.

“You’ve thought this through.”

“Of course I have.” Bernie brought Serena’s hands up and kissed her fingers.

“I don’t mind getting up a little earlier.” Bernie laughed a bit.

“Er, I know you’re not exactly a morning person, Serena.”

“Well, that’ true but ...”

“It’s okay, really.” Bernie kissed her fingers again and let her go, shifting to the side of the bed and standing up. She stretched out her back one side, then the other. Serena found it difficult to feel disappointed, the view she was having. “I’ll be just a few minutes.”

“Hurry back,” Serena said, eyebrows flicking up once, flirting. Bernie smiled and waved her fingers a little in an affectionate gesture, before heading into the en suite.

Serena sighed and sat up against the head of the bed, pulling the T-shirt over her knees. She listened to the door sweep almost-closed, a small crack of light between it and the door frame where Bernie hadn’t shut it completely. She smiled at how comfortable Bernie was now, not locking the bathroom door. She imagined them in a few months time, fighting over the sink as they cleaned their teeth together, swatting one another with tea-towels as they dried up, stealing a kiss when Jason wasn’t looking (not that it mattered) in the hallway after coming in from the rain.

When did I become a hopeless romantic? Serena asked herself, smoothing the T-shirt over her knees. She reached for her hot chocolate, which was merely lukewarm now, from the bedside table. She took a sip and smiled as she heard the shower turn on and shower door close with a soft thud. She sipped, feeling her head a little fuzzy still from the alcohol, and sighed deeply. It did make sense for Bernie to shower in the evenings if she was going to shower in the mornings. It would save on time, and it meant she didn’t need to rush. And she really did hate to rush.

Jason’s routine was very strict. He showered in the master bathroom at 8am sharp. Serena usually showered before that, as one or both showers went blazing hot if they were turned on at the same time. Something about the water pressure.

She felt a small warmth at the fact that Bernie had offered to change her own routine for theirs.

Serena lifted her head and looked at that crack in the door. She could smell the steam and Bernie’s shampoo (when did her sense of smell become so sensitive?), and suddenly found herself with a huge grin on her face. She drained the hot chocolate, slid quietly off the bed, crossing her arms over her chest, slipping off the T-shirt as she went, her underwear followed.

She pushed open the door and caught sight of the skinny pale silhouette behind the frosted shower cubicle door. Bernie’s arms were up, hands in her hair. Serena licked her lips and slid the door open, silently thanking her choice of a double shower cubicle when she’d had the en suite redone a few months ago. Plenty of room. Bernie’s face was fully under the water spray, her eyes closed, just finished rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. She smiled at the rush of cold air opening the cubicle had caused. She wiped her eyes and peeked one open. “Hello,” she said, a shy smile on her face.

“Hi,” Serena said, reaching to wipe a wet strand of Bernie’s fringe from her forehead. Her hand lingered, a little unsure, and Bernie reached for her.

“Come under,” she said, and Serena stepped under the water with her, capturing her wet lips as she did so, arm wrapping around her shoulder to hold her close. Soft wet naked skin against soft wet naked skin. Bernie held Serena’s waist in one hand, the other touching her jaw as they kissed, sucking droplets of water from her lips. When the kiss broke they grinned at each other under the water, fingertips trailing along warm skin here and there.

Serena stepped closer and leant against Bernie’s front, cheek resting on her shoulder, arms wrapping round her back. Bernie closed her eyes and rested her own cheek against Serena’s wet hair. She sighed as she felt Serena’s hand slide up her back and begin to play with the wet ends of her hair. “I’m so glad you’re here,” Serena murmured, squeezing her tightly. The water cascaded over them, warming them where they weren’t touching.

“I’m glad I’m here too.” Bernie smiled and touched Serena’s hair, now soaked from the shower. “Your hair is wet.”

“I know, I didn’t quite consider that fully when this little idea came to mind.”

They pulled back, still holding one another close. Bernie reached up and teased the hair in front of Serena’s ear. “You look good wet.” She immediately rolled her eyes in embarrassment and Serena smirked. “No ... you know what I mean.”

“So do you,” Serena said, an eyebrow raised. “Were you finished?”

“Not quite. Conditioner, shower gel.” Serena moved away a little, Bernie tried not to show she felt disappointed, but was surprised when Serena held out her hand. “Really?”

“Hand it over and turn around,” Serena said quietly. Bernie nodded, swallowed and reached to take the conditioner from the shelf in the corner. She gave it to Serena and turned to face away from her.

Serena grinned. A few firsts this evening then, she considered, decanting some creamy liquid into her hand and placing the bottle on the floor. Moving in together, Baileys, showering together. She wondered how many other new things they would discover. Serena had a few things she wanted to introduce Bernie to, and not all of them included cleaning or tidying. Walks on summer evenings, going out to buy groceries together, taking Jason to the zoo (something he had been talking about for weeks).

She smoothed the conditioner between her hands then slid her fingers into Bernie’s hair, rubbing it through. Bernie dropped her head back a bit, to one side, then the other, as Serena’s fingertips caressed her scalp in smooth circles. Serena marvelled at how trusting this woman was with her. Allowing her to do something that she assumed no one but her own parents had done for her before, and not for years, made the brunette feel so special. Damn, the woman had fired her own osteo, yet had allowed Serena to give her a back massage. Serena pressed her fingertips to the back of Bernie’s head, scratching a bit, heard a small moan from Bernie at that. She was smiling as she turned to face Serena, one hand either side now, fingers sunk deep in her hair.

Bernie wiped the conditioner from her own forehead before reaching for Serena in a searing kiss, arms around her waist, hands at the small of her back. Serena chuckled against the kiss and when they broke apart she eyed the blonde, teasingly. “You like having your hair played with then?” Bernie grinned and nodded slowly, blushing a bit. “Does it turn you on?”

“Ha,” Bernie barked out a quiet laugh of embarrassment. “Not usually.” She smiled at Serena, shyly biting her bottom lip and tracing small circles against her wet back. “I ... seem to find myself rather incapacitated when you touch me.”

“Do you reckon?” Serena breathed out an amused breath and slid a hand to Bernie’s neck. “Feeling is mutual, by the way.”

“I should finish in here,” Bernie said, sighing a bit from Serena’s fingers in her hair and down her neck. “You must be getting cold.”

Serena smiled shyly, nodded. “You make me warm.”

“Still. I won’t be long.” Serena nodded, wondering briefly if she should push it and ask if Bernie wanted her body washing for her too, but decided against it. One thing at a time. Despite their conversation at the wedding, Bernie still shied away from things sometimes, especially if she felt overwhelmed. Serena didn’t mind so much. She decided to add it to her list of new things to do, file it away in a part of her brain containing things she knew they would share eventually. She reached into the shower to rinse her hands, before watching Bernie drop her head back under the water, rinsing out the conditioner, eyes closed.

Stepping out of the shower she grabbed her towel from the heated rail and rubbed her hair reasonably dry before wrapping the towel around herself, tucking it in. She looked into the mirror, combed her hair flat, sneaking a glance through the frosted glass at Bernie. Smoothing shower gel across her own body, quickly and efficiently. Serena looked away, closed her eyes for a moment, hand to her mouth. Then she hung her towel, slipped into the bedroom, pulled the door behind her, leaving the crack with the light shining through.

When Bernie returned to the bedroom, she was dry and brushing her wet hair. She’d left her towel in the bathroom, hopefully hung up, Serena thought. Serena was waiting for her, the T-shirt back on, legs under the duvet, her phone in her hand. “Hi,” Serena said. “All clean?”

“Yep,” Bernie said, brushing the last of the tangles out of her hair and placing her brush on the chest of drawers, next to her small collection of beauty products. “Looking at anything interesting?” she asked, indicating Serena’s phone.

“Updating my wine subscription to include Baileys,” she replied deadpan, but grinned a moment later.

“Tease,” Bernie said, grinning back and collecting her pyjamas, sitting on the side of the bed to put them on.

“Sorry. Just had a text from my dearest daughter.” Bernie turned to look at her questioningly. “Asking how the move went.”

“That’s nice,” Bernie said, climbing under the covers and slipping up to Serena’s shoulder to snuggle her nose into the T-shirt.

“I suppose I should be grateful she’s showing an interest.”

“You should invite her round for tea. She and Jason get on, don’t they?”

“They do,” Serena said, nodding, huffing a bit at her phone, before locking it and setting it on the bedside table.

“Then you should. Give her an opportunity to be part of the family, if she wants to.” Serena raised an eyebrow and snuck an arm under Bernie’s shoulders.

“I know I should make the effort,” she said, a hint of childish ‘it’s so unfair’ in her voice. “I just ... sometimes I feel like I make all the effort and she just ... finds some excuse to let me down.”

“She’s, what, twenty-one?” Serena nodded, Bernie squeezed her with the arm over her belly. “Still a kid really, but wants to be a grown up.”

“Hmm.”

“All you can do is ask.”

“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. I’ll invite Eleanor round for tea if you do the same with Charlotte.” Bernie pursed her lips and Serena chuckled.

“Okay, let’s do it,” Bernie said, making an attempt at a shrug and kissing Serena’s neck. “Deal.” They’re eyes met, grins shining in the dim light of the bedroom. “Roomie,” Bernie whispered, softly, hand flat and smoothing against Serena’s tummy.

Serena turned them onto their sides, facing one another, hand under Bernie’s head. “We’re Roomies, are we?”

“Well,” Bernie said, shyly, “I haven’t really decided u-upon what to call you yet.”

“Maybe there isn’t a word for it.”

“Maybe.” Serena leant to press her lips to her cheekbone, Bernie sighed at the tenderness.

“Girlfriend?” Serena snorted a laugh, lips tracing down Bernie’s neck. “Lover? Partner? Significant other?”

“Roomies with benefits?” It was Bernie’s turn to snicker, although it soon turned into a gasp as Serena’s teeth grazed her shoulder.

Bernie trailed her fingertips down Serena’s sides and traced circles against her ribs. Serena shivered, but took Bernie’s hands from her and looped her arms round her own neck. Bernie pouted and Serena grinned. “I want to touch you,” Serena whispered, nervously.

“I’m not stopping you,” Bernie replied, sliding a hand down Serena’s front. Serena fidgeted a little.

Serena eyed her, cautiously. “I can’t concentrate.”

“That’s a problem?” Bernie asked, a little smug smile on her face. Serena narrowed her eyes, but affectionately.

“Well you are very distracting.” She leaned to lock their lips together and push Bernie onto her back. She took Bernie’s hands from her again and placed them on the bed. Bernie broke the kiss and raised an eyebrow.

“You’re serious?” Bernie didn’t appear to be that bothered by the concept. Serena caught her in a kiss again, moving up to lean over her, her forearm against the pillow. Their tongues danced, Serena’s fingers trailing down Bernie’s side to her hip, then down to her knee, parting her legs so she could rest between them.

Bernie reached to cup Serena’s jaw, but found her hands placed gently back on the bed again, by her hips. She hummed a chuckle against Serena’s lips and gave in, wrapping her legs around Serena’s waist, sighing when she felt the brunette roll her hips a bit, pressing against her. It felt good, even through her own pyjama trousers. Serena pulled out of the kiss, grinning down at her. “Seems I've got my macho army medic well and truly pinned.” Bernie pushed up a bit to kiss her but Serena dodged her lips. “Ah-ah, I think not.”

“You really are being unfair tonight.” Serena relented a bit and lay against her, hips pressed together, a hand on Bernie’s thigh. “Talk about topping me,” Bernie said, an amused look on her face.

“What's that mean?” Serena asked sincerely. Oh heavens, Bernie thought.

“When you … like you're …” Bernie rolled her eyes and reached to touch Serena’s face. Serena flicked her eyebrows up and grabbed her hand, pressed it into the pillow by her head. Bernie chuckled. “When you take control.”

“I'm really not up together on the lesbian lingo.”

“I'll get you … a book.”

“So I'm … topping you?” Bernie nodded and reached her other hand cheekily towards Serena’s face. Serena, predictably, pressed that hand into the pillow too, rolled her hips a bit, bringing a low growl from the blonde beneath her. “Are you complaining, Ms Wolfe?” She sounded unsure. Bernie smiled and shook her head.

Bernie obediently kept her hands above her head as they kissed again. Her fingers wrapped loosely round the wooden slats on the headboard. She stretched back as Serena kissed down her still-clothed body, lifting her vest to slide hands underneath and tease hard nipples. Bernie kept her thighs round Serena’s waist, feeling each little movement and press of Serena’s body against hers right at her core. When she pushed Bernie’s vest up, mouth working wonders on her breasts, she gasped, gripping the headboard hard as each flick of Serena's tongue making her squirm.

Serena sat up a little, tugged at the vest until Bernie rose up enough for her to pull it over her head. Bernie reached down to tug at the hem of Serena’s T-shirt. Serena grasped her hands, gave her a stern look. Bernie purses her lips around a smile. “Okay, I'm sorry.”

“I want to concentrate on you,” Serena explained, squeezing her hand. Bernie nodded and lifted her hands back to the headboard, eyes wide and accepting. Serena smiled at her. “Since you're being so good though…” She crossed her arms over and slipped off the T-shirt, now knelt above the blonde in just black briefs with a hint of lace. Bernie gripped the headboard to stop herself reaching out to touch those wonderful breasts, the swells just begging to be touched.

Bernie huffed out her arousal, but kept her hands firmly on the headboard. Serena noticed the battle going on in Bernie’s head and lay back down to kiss her, hand teasing a nipple, then slipping down to sneak between the mattress and Bernie’s behind, squeezing a bit. “Quiet now, my love,” Serena breathed gently, as Bernie moaned against her lips and pushed her hips upwards, the pressure simultaneously not enough and too much. Serena broke the kiss to look at Bernie, check she was okay. Those wide eyes, full of longing and wonder. Serena had to smile affectionately, leant on her left elbow, bent to press her lips to Bernie’s cheek.

Bernie closed her eyes against the kiss and sighed. She stretched back as Serena's hand pulled her thigh up a little, hips pressed down and beginning a slow and teasing rhythm. Their lips met again, haphazardly, Serena's breathing deep, her own enjoyment evident. Fingers smoothing against her still clothed thigh. For a while, they lay like this against one another, small gasps and catches in breath soft in the air around them. After some time, Bernie started to shudder a little. Serena pulled back again, lifted a hand to smooth a piece of hair back from Bernie's forehead.

“Are you okay?” Bernie nodded, but flicked her gaze down a couple of times. “Ah. Yes.” She grinned and reached to finger the waistband of Bernie's pyjama bottoms. Her fingers grazed the flushed skin of Bernie’s waist and the blonde shivered a bit. “These ought to go?” Bernie nodded.

Serena quickly sat back and Bernie lifted her knees so she could pull the pyjamas down, off, and drop them over Bernie's side of the bed. She purses her lips in though for a moment before slipping off her own briefs as well. She leaned back down over her quickly, hand back on her thigh, pulling it up around her waist again. Bernie gasped at the renewed and ultimately more intimate contact, kissing Serena back hungrily as her lips descended upon hers. The rhythm began again and Serena turned a little so her hipbone was in contact with Bernie's clit. Bernie gripped the headboard and gasped, shuddering.

At last, Bernie thought, as she felt a careful hand slip between them and slide between her legs, those fantastic fingers starting to gently rub right at her core, where she knew she wanted it, tiny circles at the tip of her engorged clit. A fingertip slid inside her, and to Bernie's surprise Serena gasped as she did. “Your so …” The brunettes eyes were dark when Bernie managed to open hers to look at her. Serena shook her head in wonder and a little amusement, mostly at her own inability to form actual words.

“That's what you've … done to me,” Bernie breathed, the world around her starting to go fuzzy. That wonderful thumb brushed her clit and she groaned, trying to stay quiet. Each ragged breath was fast and hard, lips teasing again. Serena took Bernie's bottom lip between her teeth and grazed it, pressed hard inside her and hard with her thumb and she felt Bernie go rigid. Then that familiar and perfect moment where Bernie's eyes opened, clear and shining, before she closed them and she shook from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, finally reaching up and wrapping her arms around Serena's back, bucking against her hand and her hips and groaning again her lips.

It lasted a while and Serena just watched her, overwhelmed with emotion that she could cause something like that to happen with the woman she loved so dearly, make her feel so undone and good. She felt a tear in her eye and blinked it away. This was not a sad thing. Bernie was here now and had nowhere else to be.

Serena took her hand away, moved over to lay next to the sated blonde who still had her eyes closed and was twitching with aftershocks. She smiled and hummed a bit in happiness as strong arms woke up and wrapped themselves around her, Bernie's eyes still closed but a slow smile creeping into her face.

“Did you like that?” Serena said, teasingly, a fingertip lazily circling a pattern on Bernie's shoulder.

“No it was awful,” Bernie joked, finally blinking open her eyes. “You … are so amazing. And I love you so much.” Serena chuckled as their lips met, Bernie's tongue insistent in her mouth. Bernie shifted to sit up against the headboard. “Get back up here,” Bernie breathed, indicating her lap with the pat of her palm. Serena furrowed her eyebrows. Bernie flicked hers up, took Serena hand and guided her to sit astride her, causing the brunette to blush a bit. Bernie caught her jaw in a hand. “Don't be shy,” she breathed.

Serena smiled despite her blushes and looked at her through lowered lashes. “I can't help it,” she said, voice quiet, hands sliding along Bernie's shoulders. “You're so … and I'm just not …” She shrugged and gestured randomly.

“You are … so beautiful,” Bernie told her, touching her cheek, trying to convey all the affection and tenderness she could in her own gaze. Serena sighed and smiled a bit. “I … don't even know if there are words … that can describe how I feel about your body.”

“Sshhh,” Serena hissed, thumbs rubbing Bernie's shoulders. Bernie pulled her down with a hand on the back of her neck and kissed her, sliding her tongue to touch Serena's. Serena felt soft fingers gripping at the small of her back, reached for them and blushing a little more, brought those fingers between her own legs. “You know how … you said …” Serena couldn't find the words, but when Bernie touched her there she didn't need to.

“My god I've barely touched you,” Bernie breathed, smiling widely and sliding a finger inside her, then two, then another. Serena gasped and wrapped her arms round Bernie's shoulders.

“I … apologise if this isn't the long drawn out escapade you were hoping,” Serena managed, resting her forehead against Bernie's. Bernie was still grinning. “They do say the brain is the most sensitive sex organ.”

“Love it when your talk dirty,” Bernie hissed, her free hand coming up to touch Serena's breast as she thrust inside her then drew out again. Serena was gasping and her hips were twitching and her eyes were shining in that shy but oh so happy way and Bernie wouldn't change this for the world.

“I wish you'd touch me,” Serena said after a minute, her breath coming sharp and fast, hips shuddering and hands grasping Bernie's shoulders. Foreheads still together, Bernie curled her fingers and Serena breathed a laugh. “You know what I mean.”

Bernie slid her fingers out, moved them forward, circled round that tight bundle of nerves. “Here?” Serena moaned, closed her eyes, smiled, breathing hitching, hips starting to dance back and forth in tiny circles. Almost hovering over Bernie's lap, hands playing with the still damp hair at the back of Bernie's head. She bit her bottom lip.

“Oh,” Serena breathed, smiling against Bernie's lips as she kissed her. Bernie broke the kiss and looked at her, just looked, fingertips circling, increasing the pressure, feeling the pressure inside the brunette rise and peak. Serena shook in her arms, eyes squeezed tightly closed, leant forward a little so her cheek was against Bernie's. Bernie continued to rub her clit in small gentle circles until she twitched and reached to grasp Bernie's wrist.

“Okay?” Bernie breathed, dry hand touching Serena's cheek. Her other hand came to rest against Serena's waist. Serena smiled broadly, eyes still closed, shifting a little on her knees.

“Mmmhmm,” she breathed, opening her eyes a peek. “My legs are complaining.”

“Oh I'm sorry,” Bernie said gently, helping her roll sideways and then curling up around her. Bernie slid an arm around her waist, fingers tickling soft skin.

“Mmm. Cold.” Bernie pulled the duvet up around them both, trying to get as much of her skin touching Serena's as possible. She slipped a leg over her hips, pressed her nose into her hair. “Mmm. Better.”

“Sleep,” Bernie murmured, kissing her shoulder. Serena drifted off within a minute and Bernie grinned to herself. She was here now. She was home.

*~*~*~*~*~*  
Bernie slipped from the bed at seven a.m. and took her bathrobe from the hook on the back of the door. Pulling it on, she quietly crept downstairs and into the kitchen, carrying their discarded hot chocolate mugs down to put by the sink. She set about making coffee, finding a tray and putting the steaming cafetière onto it, along with two mugs. She measured out sugar into Serena's mug, milk into both.

This was something she had been looking forward to since Serena had asked her to move in with them. She fleetingly wondered if Jason would like a drink brought to him as well, but knowing Jason didn't drink coffee and that he'd be in bed until eight, she suggested to herself that she could make him one later.

She carefully carried the tray upstairs and backed into their bedroom, quietly smiling when she realised Serena had rolled over to Bernie's side of the bed and draped an arm over the duvet where she would have been. The expanse of naked skin over Serena's shoulders made the blonde smile. Bernie held the tray with one hand briefly whilst she turned the lamp on. She lowered the tray carefully onto the bedside table and sat on the mattress, knees up to her chin and hand reaching to tease Serena's messy hair.

The brunette stirred a little and smiled before she opened her eyes. “I smell caffeine, Ms Wolfe,” she murmured, her hand reaching to smooth against Bernie's thigh over her robe.

“Can't get anything past you,” Bernie replied, patting Serena's hand before pulling her own feet under the covers and kissing the top of Serena's head as she sat up with her, gathering the duvet under her arms to cover her breasts. Bernie pushed the plunger down on the coffee and poured. Serena made a happy moan in the back of her throat.

“Coffee in bed. How lovely.” Bernie smiled and handed her the mug, before settling against the headboard and sliding an arm around Serena's back. They cuddled up together and Bernie kissed Serena's head again. “If I'd had known I would be indulging in coffee in bed I would have asked you to move in ages ago,” Serena commented, sipping the warm drink. She eyed Bernie over her mug. “Maybe even before we got together.”

“I reserve this particular indulgence for special occasions,” Bernie replied, sipping as well. “And Sunday mornings.”

“So long as I don't miss my weekly Archers fix,” Serena said, eyes shining over her mug.

“Ah yes. How are the pigs on Grange Farm?” Serena chuckled and swiped gently at her shoulder as she drank her coffee. “I did some research, so I wouldn't get confused.”

“You're going to listen with me?” Serena asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Why not?” Bernie said, shrugging. “Family tradition?”

Serena smiled fully, leant and turned her head to the side, tilted her chin up in an invitation. Bernie smiled and kissed her lightly. There was a loud knock at the door. “Auntie Serena?”

“Yes?” Serena asked, grin still plastered on her face from the gentle kiss.

“I'm supposed to knock and wait to be invited in. I know you don't like shouting through doors.” Bernie leapt up from the bed and placed their mugs on the side, before tripping round the bedroom and collecting up various pieces of underwear and pyjamas from the floor.

“Just one moment,” Serena said, trying not to laugh, a hand to her lips as she watched Bernie, who grabbed Serena's robe from where it was hung and threw it at her. Serena tugged it on and pulled it tight. Bernie bounced down by her and Serena chuckled, pulling the robe over the blonde’s thighs. “Okay, you can come in.”

Jason entered in his pyjamas, hair on end and a big grin on his face. “I wouldn't usually come into your bedroom, Auntie Serena and Bernie, I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to Alan's for a morning cup of tea and you will have the morning alone.” Bernie and Serena looked at one another and grinned. Jason laughed. “That's what I thought. Alan said couples usually want some time alone, when they've just moved in together.”

“You didn't have to do that,” Bernie said, a little shyly.

“I know. I chose to. It's okay.”

“That's very sweet of you,” Serena replied. “Have a nice time at Alan's.”

“We're going to watch World’s Strongest Man.”

“Are you,” Serena replied affectionately.

Jason stood in the doorway for a moment, pushed his glasses up his nose a bit, then nodded. “I'll be back at midday.” He backed out and closed the door. Bernie sucked her bottom lip into her mouth to keep from laughing and Serena hid her face in Bernie's shoulder.

“That could have been interesting,” Bernie said, smirking, looking to the side in an attempt to keep her mirth under control.

“Yes, thank you for the tidy-up operation.”

Bernie chuckled. “The one time we sleep naked.”

“And my delightful nephew decides to give us a little morning visit.” Serena lifted her head as Bernie squeezed her, rolled her eyes and smiled.

“He really doesn't get embarrassed does he?”

“Why would he?” Serena laughed, finally. “Just finding your aunt in her all-together after a night of passion with her girlfriend…”

“…roomie with benefits,” Bernie corrected with a pointed finger.

“Whatever.” Serena grinned. “At least he's well trained.”

“I'm guessing you had the privacy conversation with him.”

“Oh yes and what a barrel of laughs that was,” Serena said sarcastically, but with humour. “We must follow the same rules when it comes to his personal space as well.”

“Course.” They smiled softly at one another. “So,” Bernie said, a fingertip touching Serena's chin, “a whole morning alone, hmm?”

“What will we find to do?”

“You promised me some pregnancy photos!”

*~*~*~*~*~*


	8. Brown Paper Packages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmassy. That is all. Mature chapter again guys.

 

It was Christmas Eve. Serena banged her head against the train window. It was pitch black outside and she was nearly at the end of her journey. Why oh why had she agreed to this conference? Ric had insisted. It had been boring, mostly management style related, nothing clinical or even remotely medical. New systems of working, new spreadsheets and … Serena had taken away all the paperwork but hadn't listened to a single word said.

They'd been living together for two weeks. And then she'd had to spend four days away from home and Jason and her Bernie. She'd spent the entirety of the conference surreptitiously texting Bernie.

Most of the texts had been flirtatious. Some had been a little raunchy. A small number had been just plain sexual. They didn't make love every single night at home, god knows, who has the energy? But it turned out the minute Berenice Wolfe was told she could not do something was the minute she wanted to do it all the time. By the end of the first day Serena had scooted off to her hotel room in the Glaswegian suburb, stripped, and had some well deserved and well appreciated ‘Serena time’ in the privacy of her crisp but lonely bed.

She hadn't told Bernie, she felt shy about it. Her brain had been on overdrive. The things the blonde had been texting her and then the picture. Oh blimey the picture. Bernie in a vest top (no bra, and this was an obvious and intentional choice) and plain underwear and those adorable and weirdly sexy fluffy socks. On their bed, ankles crossed, hands folded over her tummy, hair tousled, eyes deep and dark and looking straight at Serena down the camera lens.

After the first day and that evening of sweet release, she'd kept it together reasonably well. The flirting continued and to be fair, Serena gave as good as she got. Bernie had hinted that she'd had to take care of herself a couple of evenings, and this had made Serena smile smugly to herself. She still had that effect on her girlfriend even from eight hours away on a cramped train.

Serena smiled softly at the bleep from her phone and took it out of her jacket pocket for maybe the eightieth time since her journey began. Bernie was keeping her entertained. She kept sending her YouTube videos (thank goodness for the free wifi) and jokes, and silly pictures. Serena was listening to various songs on iTunes, mostly Christmas tracks she had added to her phone on exactly the first of December (and not a single day before). She tapped her foot a little to the song playing through her headphones and opened Bernie's text.

‘I’m going to bed, early start  
I love you  
I hope your train arrives on time  
Safe journey  
I've missed you  
B xx’

Serena pressed a hand to her sternum as she smiled and wrote a quick text back.

‘Okay my love  
Train appears to be behaving  
I love you too, and I've missed you  
S xx’

She knew Bernie would be in bed already when she got home. They'd planned it that way. She wouldn't wake her, Bernie was due at work at seven. She and Raf were splitting Christmas day so that Serena could cook and prepare. Fletch and the kids were coming over for dinner, as were Elinor and Cameron. Charlotte was, unfortunately going with her boyfriend and his family to spend the holidays in New York. Bernie had been sad about that, but they were going to Skype on Boxing day. Raf would join them after his half of the shift finished at seven, Serena planned in keeping his Christmas dinner for him.

The train tripped along. Only an hour left then she would be clambering into a warm (hopefully) taxi and on her way properly home. She rested her head against the window again and sighed in satisfaction that no one had bothered her by sitting next to her.

An hour later the train drew to a halt at Holby station. She stood and felt her knees crack with having been sitting down for eight hours, collected her suitcase and jumped off the train. The pre booked taxi was waiting for her at the curb and she slid into it hastily, giving the driver her address. When they pulled up, she gave the driver Holby’s account number and the driver wished her a merry Christmas.

It was eleven pm. Bernie would be up at five-thirty. Serena let herself into their house as quietly as she could. All she wanted to do was called out, watch the blonde medic hop down those stairs and throw her arms around her. Kiss her soft lips. Hold her close. And then … other things.

But she was quiet. She left her bag under the coats, planned on unpacking tomorrow. She slipped her shoes off, coat and handbag hung on her peg. She padded upstairs softly. She cleaned her teeth and dressed in the master bathroom (Bernie had moved her toothbrush in there for her, along with her pyjamas). She almost silently opened the bedroom door and snuck inside. She smiled at the sleeping form in the bed, curled up, duvet under her arm, face turned into the pillow. She wanted to reach out, but she didn't. She slipped carefully under the covers and placed a hand near Bernie's back.

Closing her eyes, Serena pictured the photo Bernie had sent her in her mind, smiling a little, before sleep settled over her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie wasn't sure what time it was but she knew it was early when she woke. The first thing she realised was that Serena was back, the warmth behind her in bed made her sigh in contentment. The second thing she realised was that said brunette was making noises in her sleep, and that she didn't sound happy.

Bernie rolled over, unsure of what the noises meant but aware that Serena was dreaming. She blinked open her eyes, rubbing the sleep from them. It was very dark in the bedroom, street lamps out. The glowing numbers on the radio alarm clock said three. She frowned, reaching a hand to lay it against Serena's cheek. The brunette gasped her name and let out a soft squeak, her whole body shuddering, breathing ragged. Hands curled in front of her face. Hips twitching. Bernie raised her eyebrows.

Okay, maybe the dream Serena was having wasn't so … unhappy.

Bernie didn't know what to do. She didn't want to wake her really – she was positive Serena was dreaming about her, the way her hips were twitching a little and rolling. She was still curled on her side, hands by her face. Then all at once Serena moaned and gripped the pillow and shook and opened her eyes, gaze focussing on Bernie's. Bernie smiled gently. “Merry Christmas,” Bernie breathed and Serena visibly, even in the dark, blushed.

“What … oh my…” Her breathing was still deep. Serena swallowed and looked away.

“Did what I think just happen, happen?” Bernie asked gently, but unable to keep the amusement out of her voice. There was a pause.

“What do you … think happened?”

“Did you just … come in your sleep?”

“Maybe,” Serena replied. She blinked. “Yes.”

“Wow,” Bernie breathed.

“What? It's never happened to you?”

“Not without … not just by itself.” Bernie took Serena's hands and kissed her knuckles.

“Damn,” Serena swore, looking a little guiltily. “I wasn't supposed to wake you.”

“If I'd have known you were … so hard up …”

“Shhh,” Serena said, shifting towards Bernie to pull her close. “Come on, back to sleep. Early start.”

“What were you dreaming about?” Bernie whispered.

“You and I, in the ocean, all alone. Now go back to sleep.” Her tone sounded so businesslike but the meaning of the words made Bernie grin against her shoulder.

“That could be arranged.”

“Sleep.”

“Yes, fraulein.” And she did.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie's alarm went off at five-thirty and she slipped quietly out of bed, leaving a sleepy Serena with a gentle kiss to her forehead. She dressed quietly and snuck downstairs, quickly going to the bags of presents kept in the under stairs cupboard and arranging them under the tree before turning on the fairy lights. She grinned and rubbed her hands together. She'd been looking forward to doing that. Serena and Jason weren't expecting it. Bernie felt a little like a secret elf, or something. She shook her head – Serena’s incorrigible Christmas cheer must have rubbed off on her.

She had breakfast and crept out the door, grabbing the reindeer antlers Serena had failed to get her to wear on at least seven different occasions during December. Sod it, she thought. This Christmas was going to be so much better than all her other Christmases.

*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Serena was downstairs before Jason, as usual (he showered at eight am each and every morning, even if he wasn't working). She boiled the kettle and started to prepare Christmas dinner, making herself and Jason a cup of tea in between tasks.

When Jason did come down she attached the list of jobs to the fridge, and reminded him which were his to complete (highlighted in orange) and which were hers (in green). He ate his breakfast, then started on his list. He glanced at the tree in the living room. “Did you put the presents under the tree?”

“I think Santa’s helper did it,” she teased, voice secretive. He frowned. Then he grinned.

“Bernie.” She nodded and he frowned at the haphazard pile up of presents. “It looks like Bernie did it.”

“Yes I may be forced to rearrange them if I have time,” Serena quipped, hands covered in the innards of a huge turkey. “This needs to go in, could you open the oven for me, Jason?”

He was surprisingly helpful and even a little flexible with the timing of things. He kept her topped up with tea when he wasn't setting the table or chopping sprouts, and as eleven o'clock rolled round, he went to the TV and flicked through the channels until he found an appropriately festive music channel. He turned it up loud and Serena grinned at him, bopping a little to the music and making him laugh.

At one o'clock the doorbell went. Serena looked at her watch. “Will you turn that down please,” she asked and Jason sped to the living room and turn down the volume.

Fletch and Evie and Mikey and Ella and little Leo all traipsed in, with bags of presents and pyjamas. Serena had insisted the children and Fletch stay the night, the kids sleeping in Eleanor’s bed, and Fletch kipping on the floor. Evie has scoffed at that and had decided, as she was far too old to share a bed with Mikey (so gross, dad) she would sleep on the sofa in the downstairs study. Serena had already got a pillow and blanket out for her. Evie grinned and gave Serena a thumbs up as she noticed them on the sofa in the office when she took her bag in.

Everyone said Merry Christmas and hugged. Evie's eyes shined at the two, yes two, again, Christmas trees in Ms Campbell's house. Ms Campbell and Ms Wolfe, she corrected herself, in her own head. Serena and Bernie. Because they were a couple now, and that was cool.

“Right, well if everyone would like to wash their hands, dinner is nearly ready.” Jason helped the little ones wash their hands, lifted one then the other at the sink. Serena smiled gently at him, set plates out to serve. They all sat round and Fletch poured them all drinks.

“Where's the blonde job?” Mikey asked, “I reckon I could eat a horse.”

Serena laughed a bit, digging into the turkey and starting to carve. “She'll be here any minute.” Her smile broadened when she heard the key in the lock. “Excuse me just a minute,” she told the kids. Evie smirked at her and Serena winked in reply, handing the knife and long fork to Fletch. “Continue?”

“No problem, boss.”

Serena padded into the hallway and caught Bernie in an embrace and then a kiss before she could barely get through the door. Bernie chuckled and grasped her. “Merry Christmas,” Serena said once the kiss broke. Bernie smiled and touched their noses together. Serena blushed and grinned harder. Bernie's cheekbones were pink from the cold.

“Merry Christmas,” Bernie replied. Serena looked up and noticed Bernie's headwear.

“Very nice,” she murmured, tucking a stray piece of hair behind Bernie's ear, fingering the band holding the antlers to Bernie's head.

“Well, all the cool kids are wearing them.” She glanced behind her. “Talking of kids, ours are getting on rather well, I think.”

Elinor came through the door with her gift bag before Cameron. “Mum,” Elinor said, grinning and wrapping her arms around her mother warmly. Serena kissed her cheek and squeezed her hard.

“Oh goodness,” Serena said, wiggling her daughter a bit with affection. “Well, hi Cameron.”

“Ms Campbell,” he said, nodding to her.

“Okay, at work that's okay, but please call me Serena in my own bloody house on Christmas Day.”

“Serena said bloody!” Came a shout from the kitchen door, where Mikey stood, fake shock on his face.

“Enough!” Fletch said from the turkey carving station. The kids laughed and Mikey retreated back to the table.

“Can we just stick these under the tree, Mum?”

“Of course, Ellie, go on through.” Cameron followed her. Serena grinned at Bernie. “Getting on well?”

“Apparently they both like … I'm a … something … get me out of here.” Bernie shrugged, not understanding, and Serena grinned.

“Well I'm sure it's very intellectual viewing.” They kissed again, briefly. Bernie's stomach growled and they laughed. “Yeah okay, I hear you,” Serena laughed, grabbing Bernie's hand and pulling her towards the pegs where Bernie took off her coat and hung it up. “Turkey is ready and waiting.”

They ate well and laughed and joked and pulled crackers. Bernie hooked her fluffy socked foot around Serena's under the table and the brunette nearly spat out her wine.

Turned out, Cameron had a few funny stories about medical school that the kids, and especially Mikey, enjoyed immensely. Mostly involving innards and slapstick accidents. Even Evie seemed amused. Jason was laughing loudly, his sense of humour weirdly similar to Cameron's. Elinor just cocked a disbelieving eyebrow at him. Bernie recognised the look as so similar to Serena's raised-eyebrow look that she had to smile.

When their bellies were full and Christmas pudding had been served and eaten, they all retreated to the living room to open presents. The kids, having opened their presents from each other at home that morning, all sat on the floor and watched The Muppets Christmas Carol on the TV. Therefore the adults’ present openings were punctuated by giggles and various echoes of what the characters had said.

Jason took responsibility for handing out presents from under the tree. Evie had an eye on the movie and an eye on the adults, wanting secretly to watch the film but also curious about what the adults had bought one another.

Serena opened a bottle of wine, what a surprise, Shiraz, from Fletch.

Fletch got some cotton dress socks from Serena.

Bernie opened a QI book, how interesting, no, Bernie, quite interesting, from Jason.

Jason got the same book from Bernie. Everyone laughed. “We live in the same house!” Jason whooped. He also opened a card with zoo tickets in. “That's a good present.”

Fletch opened a book from Bernie, entitled “Things Grumpy Old Gits Do”. He reached across and between the sofas to whack her gently with it, but looked pleased.

Cameron opened a bottle of scotch from his mother. “Much more refined than vodka and coke,” she told him. He also opened a plain but silk tie.

“Nice mum.”

Elinor got a gold heart pendant on a fine chain from her mum, and a box of chocolates. “That's so pretty, thanks mum,” Elinor said, gently holding out the chain.

“You're welcome. Bernie pointed it out and thought you'd like it.”

“Is it from both of you then?” Serena looked at Bernie.

“Course,” Bernie said, nodding. “And Serena chose the tie,” she told Cameron.

Serena opened a floaty scarf from Elinor. Fletch opened a box of real ales from Jason. Jason opened a bottle of ginger cordial from his aunt, and a new jumper. Jason handed Bernie a large lumpy package and Bernie noticed it was the only one wrapped in red paper. She took it and turned it over. “Ah, Charlotte.”

“She wants you to open it today,” Cameron explained, “don't wait until you speak to her tomorrow.”

Bernie nodded slowly and tore the paper. Out fell something woollen and green, pretty shell patterns in rows along it. She turned it over and spread it out in her lap. She fingered the pattern. “It's a throw. For the sofa. If you like it.” Cameron seemed cautious, like he wasn't sure how his mother was going to react. Bernie nodded, expression serious. Serena put her hand over Bernie's. She turned her head to the side, a silent query to whether she was okay. Evie turned away from the film to watch them.

“That's lovely,” Serena murmured, smiling encouragingly at Bernie. Bernie nodded again.

“She made it,” Cameron offered. Bernie finally lifted her gaze to his.

“She made it?”

“Yep. Apparently crochet is cool again. You know like it was in the dark ages. When you guys were young.”

“Oi, less of that,” Serena warned, a hand sliding round Bernie's shoulders.

“Sorry,” Cameron said, “she made it because … she wanted to say sorry. For the statement.”

“Ah,” Bernie said, nodding, understanding. “Okay.” She smiled finally and lifted the throw to her cheek, feeling how soft it was, feeling the care that had gone into it.

“Just so you know, she *bought* presents for me and dad.” Cameron sounded mock-annoyed with the situation, but was smiling.

“Really very lovely,” Serena said, rubbing Bernie's upper arm soothingly.

“Anyone else?” Jason asked, helpfully but accidentally breaking the tension.

“There might be a couple more,” Serena said, smiling at Bernie.

“Haven't you guys opened yours from each other?” Fletch asked Serena and Bernie. They looked at each other.

“We've not really seen each other,” Bernie said, regretfully. Suddenly wondering whether she should have given Serena her gift before she had left for Scotland. It would have been easier to explain when they were alone. Jason handed them each a present: Serena's was flat and book-shaped (an encyclopaedia of Shiraz?) and Bernie's was a small box.

They started to open them at the same time. Evie smiled as she watched them. Fletch picked up one of the QI books and flicked through it, but grinned over the top of it. Jason grinned widely from where he sat on the floor.

Bernie threw the balled up wrapping paper at Jason; it hit him on the shoulder and they smiled at one another affectionately, a look that was not unnoticed by the young man’s aunt. Bernie looked down to open the jewellery box. Inside lay a small silver lotus flower on a fine chain. Bernie blinked and smiled. “Wow.”

“D’you like it?” Serena asked, a little timidly, her hands still on her own half-unwrapped present.

“It's beautiful,” Bernie said sincerely, taking it out of the box and showing it to Cameron, then Elinor.

“Awesome,” Cameron said. Elinor grinned at her mum and Bernie had an inkling that Elinor had seen it already. Had Serena asked her daughter’s opinion? Evie crawled across the floor and sat by their feet. Bernie smiled to her and showed her as well. Evie touched the pendant with her forefinger.

“That's well cool, Bernie.”

“It's sort of symbolic,” Serena said, carefully, then smiled shyly. “It's supposed to represent … various things. Faithfulness, purity, compassion. Different cultures see it in different ways. I just thought it was … it reminded me of you.” Bernie smiled and closed the box. She clasped it in both hands.

“I love it, thank you.” Bernie leant forward to kiss her but stopped half way, remembering the kids, and remembering Evie sitting so close to them, big eyes watching. Bernie pressed her lips to Serena's cheek. She pointed to Serena's gift, still half in its wrapper.

“Hmm,” Serena said, a little teasing tone in her voice. “What could this be?” Bernie bit her lip as she unwrapped a box.

Serena opened the box to find a booklet and certificate inside. She frowned, opened the booklet. Her eyebrow rose first, before her face slowly broke into a smile. She blinked. “You bought me …”

“A star,” Bernie finished when the brunette paused.

“A star,” Serena breathed, flicking through the booklet.

“And you can name it yourself and register it, and there are the coordinates …” Bernie shrugged, eyed Elinor carefully. “I wondered if … you could name it after your mother.” She shrugged. “Or whatever. It's up to you.”

“Oh my God that's such an ace present,” Elinor said and Bernie could tell it was wholly sincere.

“You're gonna get to totally name something in space?” Evie said, amazed. “That is…”

“Well cool?” Bernie asked, eyebrows up. Evie nodded, grinning.

“Well cool, Bernie.”

Serena took her present and held her hand out for the jewellery box. Bernie handed it to her. “I'm just going to take these upstairs. Everyone okay for drinks?”

“Cuppa?” Bernie asked everyone, and there were various murmurs of agreement. She stood and went into the kitchen, following Serena, who went upstairs with their gifts. Evie followed Bernie to the counter.

“Dad says it's okay if I have decaf tea,” she said, leaning against the counter, one hand combing through her long ponytail.

“Okay,” Bernie replied. “Fancy helping?”

“Sure.” Evie got the milk out of the fridge, put tea bags in the cups Bernie got out and watched Bernie fill the kettle. She scratched the back of her neck nervously. “Can I ask you something?”

“Course you can,” Bernie replied and, realising Evie's nervousness from the way she was playing with her hair, she flicked the switch on the kettle and turned to fold her arms, lean on the counter next to her and give her her full attention.

“It's girl stuff,” Evie admitted.

“Go for it,” Bernie said, smiling gently.

“Okay.” Evie chewed her lip and looked over the counter at her dad, dropped her voice a bit. “I think … I might have got my period.” Bernie nodded.

“Okay. When?”

“Yesterday. I'm … not sure what to do.”

“Have you told your dad?” Her eyes went wide.

“No. Not going to happen.”

“Okay.”

“He’ll just be weird about it.” Evie shook her head, folded her arms like Bernie was. She huffed out a sigh.

“Want me to get you some things?”

“Is that alright?” Evie looked at her with uncomfortable eyes.

“Course it is,” Bernie said, shrugging. “Come upstairs while the kettle boils, bring your bag.”

“Okay.”

Serena passed them in the stairs, eyebrow raised in confusion. “Just showing Evie something,” Bernie explained. They came down a few minutes later and made the drinks. Evie looked visibly happier. Serena eyed Bernie, Bernie shook her head in an I’ll-tell-you-later kind of way.

“Kids are staying up until uncle Raf gets here, aren't you guys?” Fletch was saying as Bernie handed him a cup of tea.

“Yes!” Leo and Ella said in unison, raising their fists. Evie handed Serena her cup.

“I'm staying up until eight-thirty,” Mikey piped up.

“Lucky kids,” Serena said. “What time do you guys need to leave?” she asked her daughter and Cameron.

“About eight,” Elinor replied, cupping her tea and blowing on it. She stood from the floor and sat by her mother on the sofa, who wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Bernie looked across at Evie as she sat on the floor pillow by her siblings. She noticed a small look of sadness, before Evie looked away, back at the TV. “Dad wants to toast Christmas Day evening or something.”

“How is he?” Serena asked, a smaller than usual glint of sarcasm in her voice.

“Fine.” Elinor looked at her watch. “Probably drunk.”

“Hmm,” Serena said, squeezing her daughter and planting a kiss in her hair. “And his lovely wife?” Elinor screwed her nose up and picked up one of Serena's hands, fingertips smoothing over her shiny finger nails.

“Probably pouring him another brandy,” Elinor said bitterly. Serena purses her lips and Bernie thought she looked pleased. “Love you mum.”

“Love you too Ellie. It's so nice to have you home.”

*~*~*~*~*~*


	9. Snowflakes That Stay On My Nose and Eyelashes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the Christmas fluff.
> 
> As always, thank you to @shellylass17, my number 1 fan and the greatest support.

 

  
“Who wants another film?” Jason asked and the kids cheered. He put a DVD in the player, pressed play.

When the familiar music started, Fletch pointed at his eldest son. “Don't you get any ideas,” he admonished.

“Ain't this the one with the kid and the boobie traps?” Mikey asked, face an absolute fascinated and excited picture. Fletch flicked his finger downwards.

“Yes. No ideas.”

They all settled back to watch the movie. Jason and fletch in the two-seater, Cameron and Ellie and Serena on the three-seater and Bernie on the floor by Cameron's legs. The kids still sat on the floor, Evie put her mug on the coffee table as Leo climbed into her lap. They all watched the film. Half way through Jason offered everyone another drink, which everyone gratefully accepted.

At seven-thirty, when small eyes were drooping and toys had been retrieved by Elinor from her old bedroom for them to cuddle, the doorbell sounded. Bernie jumped from the floor and answered the door. She hugged Raf, who had come with a cardboard holder full of wine as a gift for them all. He had snowflakes in his hair. Bernie looked outside and bounced into the living room. “Guys, look outside.”

They all got up and went to the big bay window where Serena pulled the curtains back. It was dark out but the street lamp lit the falling snow ethereally. The younger kids all ‘ooo’-ed and jumped excitedly.

“Boxing Day snowmen!” Ella cried.

“Snowball fights!” Mikey cheered and pointed at his dad. “You are so dead.”

“You're going down, my son.” Mikey pressed his nose to the window and grinned.

“Welcome,” Serena said coming back from the window and Raf kissed her cheek. “Your dinner is in the fridge.”

“I'm in charge of reheating it in the microwave,” Jason said, stepping up. “Would you like it now?”

“Yeah, alright, thanks Jason.”

“Jason?” Serena called to him, sitting back down to resume her cuddle with her daughter. “Take the foil off before you put it in.” He rolled his eyes.

“I know Auntie Serena.”

Raf said goodnight to Ella and Leo, and then the kids wanted to say goodnight to everyone, especially Jason, who found one attached to each of his long legs as he watched Raf’s dinner go round in the microwave. He looked at them confused and after various pleas from the kids, followed Fletch and helped him to put them to bed in Elinor’s room, her cuddly toys clasped in their tiny hands. Serena sighed happily, smiling toothily at their retreating backs.

Raf ate with the plate on his lap, taking Jason's place on the two-seater sofa. When Fletch and he returned, Jason sat on the footstool, watched the music channel Evie had put on.

“So, what have I missed?” Raf asked.

“Bernie bought Serena a star,” Evie said a little absentmindedly, drinking her second cup of decaf tea, eyes fixed on the TV.

“What like … Angelina Jolie?” Raf laughed a bit, confused.

“No,” Serena said, gazing at her girlfriend with affection. “Like a celestial ball of fire in space.”

“Well cool,” Evie murmured. Jason and Fletch came back downstairs, a thumbs up from Jason as he animatedly told everyone he'd read them a story and they had fallen asleep before the end. Raf got up to clear his plate.

Bernie smiled and sipped her tea from where she was curled on the floor, as Raf and Jason chatted about what they'd got for Christmas. They talked about previous Christmases and Jason described the last one he had had with his mum. Cameron delighted them with tales of his own mother coming back from tour at Christmas when they were young and bringing various gifts back from the country she'd been based. “That elephant was lopsided.”

“He was not, he was … distinctive,” Bernie replied, horrified and amused simultaneously. “And he was actually African. How many kids in your year had a truly African elephant for Christmas?”

“I still have him,” Cameron admitted, hiding his face behind his mug. Bernie smirked.

“Good. You were very enamoured with him at the time.”

“Your back okay down there, Major?” Serena asked, suddenly concerned and aware of how long the blonde medic had been sitting on the floor. Bernie bit her lip and shrugged.

“It's fine,” she replied but Serena was unconvinced.

“Okay, come on Ellie. Let the grown-ups get comfy.” Elinor smiled and sighed resigning herself to shift along the sofa toward Cameron, who shifted himself to make room. Serena shifted too, held out a hand to Bernie and pulled her to sit next to her, on the opposite side to Elinor.

Serena was aware that Bernie would be taking their children home any moment now. She squeezed the fingers between her own and lay her cheek against Bernie's shoulder. Bernie turned her head and kissed her hair. Elinor cleared her throat noisily, not looking at them. Cameron laughed.

“Yeah. Get used to it,” Cameron said in a mock whisper. She rolled her eyes.

“Oh come on, Ellie,” Serena said turning to her daughter. “How many times have I stumbled in on you and some random male friend necking on my sofa?” Mikey snorted.

Elinor leant forward and put her face in her hands. “Thanks for that mum,” she said. Cameron snickered and Bernie pointedly looked away. There was an uncomfortable pause. Bernie looked at the clock above the TV.

“I suppose I should drive you home?” Bernie said, not moving, reluctant to relinquish Serena's hand. Elinor stood up maybe a little too quickly and gathered her presents up in a gift bag.

Serena's heart dropped a little. These moments with her daughter felt simply too brief. When she'd invited Elinor for tea the week before, she'd stayed a mere two hours and she felt like she was rushing off at the end. Whilst Cameron was getting hugs off the men and Bernie in the living room, Serena followed Elinor into the hallway.

“What is it?” Serena asked, touching her daughters arm gently. “It can't be just the thought that you're mother is finally getting some?”

Elinor turned to her after putting on her coat. “I dunno, Mum. I'm just … I don't want you getting hurt like with dad. I feel a bit …”

Serena smiled. “Protective?”

Elinor blushed and bit her lip. “A bit. Maybe. Is that weird?”

“Not at all,” Serena replied relieved. “At least now you know how I felt when you were growing up.” They embraced and Serena clung to her, buried her nose in her hair. “Don't worry. I promise she's good to me.”

“Are you sure?” Elinor pulled back and looked worriedly at her mother.

“I don't ever lie for her,” Serena said, but bit her lip. “Okay not anymore. And she doesn't drink excessive amounts and certainly not at work.” She blinked a bit, reminded of the bottle of Shiraz they'd shared all those months ago, before they'd agreed to forget about it all. She smiled and shook herself. She reached to touch Elinor's hair, tuck it behind her ear. “And I'm not sure I like you blonde.”

“But you like blondes,” Elinor said, deadpan as they pulled away. As Bernie and Cameron came out of the kitchen Elinor grinned a bit and Serena rolled her eyes.

“Oh very clever,” Serena murmured.

“Lovely to see you again, boss,” Cameron said to Serena, his actions not reflecting his words when he wrapped his arms around her and practically lifted her off her feet. Serena squeaked a bit in laughter and patted his back.

“Merry Christmas, Cameron.”

Elinor and Bernie smiled tightly at each other, then Elinor shook herself and sighed. “Sod it.” She opened her arms and stepped into Bernie, giving her a quick hug. Bernie raised her eyebrows at Serena over Elinor’s shoulder. Serena smiled at them, feeling a lump in her throat.

The kids went out to Bernie's car and Bernie partially closed the door for a moment, taking Serena's chin and kissing her deeply. “Be back in a minute,” she breathed.

“Okay,” Serena replied, catching her breath. “No … no speeding.” Bernie put her hand on her own chest.

“Promise.”

Serena sat with Raf and Jason and Fletch and Mikey and Evie. Mikey was hankering to play some game on Evie's phone and Evie was trying to dissuade him. In the end she gave up, handing him the phone and making him promise to stay away from her text message app. He looked shocked.

Raf beckoned as he got up from the sofa and moved into the kitchen. Serena followed him, eyebrow raised. “Yes?” she asked, suspiciously.

“Shiraz?”

“Was going to wait for Bernie,” she admitted, grimacing.

“She won't mind if we let the wine breathe,” he suggested, grabbing the corkscrew from the hook and taking one of the bottles he'd brought. “I wanted to ask you,” he said as he uncorked the bottle, and Serena fetched some glasses from the cabinet. “How are things?”

Serena smiled at him. He always was so careful with her, so gentle. He and Fletch had really been their support system, people she could offload onto if they'd had a bad shift and Bernie wasn't around. She knew Bernie did the same. His eyes were worried, but he was smiling.

“Things are okay, thank you.” He still eyed her. “Really, honestly.”

“You're not at each other's throats now that you're living together?”

“We have our moments,” Serena admitted, lining up the glasses, five of them, on the counter. “But overall. Good. Not that I've been here the last few days.”

“Ah yeah,” Raf chuckled, leaving the opened bottle on the counter and leaning against it. “How was the conference?”

“Boring as hell,” Serena laughed, shaking her head. “Tedious. Long. A royal pain in the backside.”

“Bit pointless then,” Raf said, rolling his eyes. Then he looked kindly and a little knowingly at her. “I did offer to go in your place.”

“Did you? That was kind, but I wouldn't have wished it on my worst enemy,” Serena batted back.

“Well, I'm not in a new … ish … relationship.” He shrugged. “I didn't think it was fair on you. But Mr Griffin said it had to be a consultant.”

“Damn. Thank you for thinking of me.” He glanced out the door, towards the hall.

“Did you get home late last night?”

“Yes I did,” Serena stated.

“Hmmm. Bernie's missed you.” Serena's eyes widened and she stepped away, going to the bottle to pour.

“I think that’s enough breathing. It's time it was drunk.”

“Great idea.”

By the time they'd poured the wine and brought all five glasses through (although one did contain ginger beer for Jason), the front door was swishing open again and Bernie could be heard hanging up her coat. Serena refrained from returning to the door to kiss her yet again, she didn't want her guests to think her rude. “Ah, the weary traveller returns,” Raf quipped as Bernie entered the living room and grinned at the glass Serena was holding out to her.

“Oh, fantastic,” she said, taking a sip.

“See how good I am,” Serena said gently, “I waited until you could have one too.” Bernie grinned widely at her and they clinked glasses before Bernie curled into the opposite side of the sofa. She snuggled her sock-clad feet into the small space between Serena's hip and the back of the sofa.

“I'm not going out again in that snow am I?” she asked, pouting a bit.

“Actually I need some milk for tomorrow,” Fletch quipped and everyone laughed. Bernie narrowed her eyes around a smile.

“I will make you audit all the equipment in the trauma bay!”

“Again?” They all laughed.

This was what it should be like at Christmas, Bernie thought. Home and friends and family and Serena.

“Right. Eight-thirty,” Fletch said and Mikey hung his head.

“But the party’s just getting started.”

“Brush your teeth. Then bed.”

“And don't wake the wee ones,” Raf told him, pointing at him with a finger.

“Fine,” Mikey huffed, getting up. “Night then.” He traipsed upstairs with noisy feet. Fletch grimaced.

“That kid.”

“Oh he's alright,” Serena pouted at him, taking a sip of wine. “It's Christmas. You've spoiled his fun.”

“Actually he's been remarkably well behaved this evening,” Raf said, suspiciously. “What have you bribed him with?”

“Chocolate,” Fletch replied, “heaps of the stuff.”

Everyone laughed. Evie, who had been quietly watching the music channel, got up to look through the DVDs in the small bookshelves. Serena smiled over at her. “Anything you'd like to watch?”

“Nothing 15 rated or over,” Fletch told her. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Yeah alright, Dad.” She considered. “I don't think so.” She sat back on the floor pillow and played on her phone for a bit, then dragged her fingers through her ponytail. She huffed and took it out of its elastic, dragged her fingers through it again.

“You know, when I had long hair …” Serena started, and Bernie poked her side with her toes, eyebrows raised. “What? When I was young I had long hair.”

“I don't believe you, Auntie Serena,” Jason said, frowning.

“Photos,” Bernie demanded. “Along with the pregnancy ones I never got round to seeing.”

“What, now?”

“Yeah now,” Raf agreed, sitting on the edge of the sofa in interest. Serena gave Evie a startled look to make her laugh, which had the desired effect.

“Okay,” she said, hands up in surrender, getting up from the sofa. “One condition.” She looked at Bernie with wide expectant eyes and folded her arms expectantly. Bernie huffed and got up too. They disappeared upstairs, quietly.

Raf and Fletch looked at each other, wide eyed, a little frightened. Evie looked secretly thrilled. Jason was still frowning, confused that his aunt could look any different from how she looked now.

When they returned, Serena was carrying a neat album, and Bernie had in her hand a stack of loose photos. “No laughing,” Serena said, exchanging her album with Bernie's collection and sitting back on the sofa. Evie got up to sit between them and Raf and Fletch came over to look too. Jason edged towards them.

“Oh my god,” Bernie said, snorting.

“It was the eighties. And I told you I wasn't the glowing mother-to-be everyone expected.”

“I love the dungarees,” Raf commented, looking at the album Bernie was holding open.

“Not gay at all,” Bernie commented quietly, not even attempting to hide her mirth. She turned the photo around to show Jason. Jason's frown became a smile.

“You look funny, Auntie Serena.”

“It was the fashion back then,” Serena countered, pretending to sound hurt. “And I must say, Ms Wolfe, what a picture you made.”

Bernie leant over Evie to look. “Yep. That was with Cam.”

“Christ, you're huge,” Fletch exclaimed, eyes wide in horror.

“Thanks for that Fletch,” she replied, rolling her eyes in humour at Evie and going back to the album. She flicked back and found some of Serena with long hair. “What are you, fifteen here?” she asked in wonder, fingering the picture fondly.

“Twenty,” Serena said dryly.

“You're the same age as me when we met,” Jason said, nodding at the photo as Bernie held it out.”

“That's the year before I had it all chopped off.”

“Did your mum used to brush it for you?” Evie asked quietly. Serena looked gently at her for a moment, understood, put an arm round her. Evie sunk into her shoulder a bit.

“She did.” Evie nodded against Serena's shoulder. Raf took the album from Bernie and he and Jason sat together back on the two-seater sofa. Fletch took the footstool.

“That's nice,” Evie sighed, sadly.

“Oh, it's okay,” Serena said, cheerfully rubbing her shoulder. “It's okay to miss your mum.”

“Lots of things she used to do.” She looked over at her dad. “And I'm not saying there's stuff you don't do, Dad, it's not that. But it's not really the same. Mum used to brush my hair and put a plait in it. I liked it when she did that.” Serena squeezed her, then pulled back.

“Go and get your brush if you like,” she said, smiling.

“R … really?” Evie asked, unsure and eyeing her dad.

“Yep go on,” Serena said shrugging. “Let's put my rusty plaiting skills to the test.”

Evie sped off into the study and returned with her hair brush, handed it to Serena. Serena patted the front of the sofa to indicate Evie should sit on the floor in front of her and placed her wine glass on the coffee table.

Bernie sat back sideways on the sofa, feet up again, glass of wine almost empty, the warmth of the alcohol and Christmas spirit and the situation in front of her, flowing through her. She watched Serena take up Evie's hair in her hand, brush the ends, then move higher, so that any knots were caught before they tangled. Once Evie's hair was brushed through, Serena put the brush beside her on the sofa cushion and carefully scraped Evie's hair back with her fingers, before parting it in three and beginning the plait.

Bernie's smile was soft, and she thought back to those photos she'd seen, imagine Serena young and carefree and with a four year old Elinor with long hair, styling it, the two of them giggling together as bows were placed and clips were fastened. She swallowed a bit, then drained her wine, feeling a bit sad. Serena's past must have been so different to her own; Bernie had never learned to do a plait and Charlotte had made her well aware.

As Serena plaited right to the bottom, Evie handed her the bobble and she fastened it securely. Evie touched the plait carefully and grabbed her phone. “Will you take a photo?” she asked Bernie, who blinked a bit from her reverie but smiled.

“Yeah of course.”

“I really wanna show my mates,” Evie said, pleased and giving Serena all her smiles. “Thanks. Ellie had the coolest mum.”

“Ah. If you would tell her that, it would be much appreciated.”

Evie posed with thumbs up, back turned towards the camera, and Bernie took the photo. “Thanks Bernie,” Evie said, taking the phone back. “Thanks Serena.”

Jason stood from looking at pictures of his aunt, went to sit next to Serena and looked through a few pictures of Bernie. “I definitely like your hair better now,” he stated, seriously.

“Thank you,” Bernie said, getting up too, to gather the glasses. “More wine?”

“Always,” Serena replied, handing her glass over. Evie stifled a yawn.

“I always yawn when I'm tired,” Jason told her, then looked at the clock. “It's nine-thirty. I'm going to go to bed.” Everyone nodded at him and he said good night. He picked up one copy of the QI book they now owned as a family and gave the other to Evie. “You can have this if you like. Bernie and I can share.” Evie kindly took the book from him.

“Alright. Thanks Jason.” Jason left with a smile.

“You don't have to stay up with us old fogeys if you don't want to,” Serena told her, head to one side. Evie wrinkled her nose.

“I am a bit tired.”

“There's a TV in there,” Serena continued. “Feel free to have it on quietly, so long as that's okay with dad.” She looked questioningly at Fletch. Fletch nodded.

“Don't be up all night though.”

“Want a hot chocolate?”

“Okay.” Serena got up and led her into the kitchen.

“Off to bed?” Bernie asked when she saw Evie yawning again.

“Just gonna watch some TV.” She held up the book. “Jason gave me this.”

“Fair enough,” Bernie said, unscrewing another bottle of red and pouring four glasses.

“Thanks for a nice Christmas,” Evie said and smiled shyly at both of them.

“Well, its tradition now,” Serena said, going to boil the kettle and get out a mug. “You're all part of the family.”

“Our big … AAU … extended family,” Bernie agreed.

Serena made Evie's hot chocolate and handed it to her. “I hope you sleep well,” she said and Evie hugged her. Serena inhaled deeply, her chest constricting a bit. Evie stepped back. Bernie smiled.

“Feel free to use the bathroom downstairs,” she said with a knowing look, conscious there was a bin in there. Evie caught her eye thoughtfully and nodded, understanding.

“Alright. Thanks Bernie.” Evie offered a closed fist and Bernie bumped it with her own. Evie giggled, then took her hot chocolate out the kitchen and down the hall.

They carried the wine back through and handed it to the boys. “So,” Serena started, her managerial voice peeking through her Christmas cheer, “what do we fancy?” Bernie blushed a looked away, Raf laughed nervously.

“A … game?” he asked, looking worriedly between the two of them.

“Unless the two of you …” Fletch began, but Raf shoved him before he could finish.

“Musical chairs?” Bernie asked, deadpan, to distract everyone from the moment.

“We have trivial pursuit?” Serena suggested. They all nodded.

“Teams?” Raf asked.

“I'm with Bernie,” Fletch piped up. Serena raised her eyebrows.

“Right then.” She stood and passed Raf on the way into the hallway. “We are going to slaughter them,” she told him in a mock whisper.

“What happened to me being on your quiz team?” Bernie asked, pouting a bit. Serena shrugged at Fletch’s massive grin.

The boys pulled the coffee table to one side so they could sit round it. Fletch settled on the footstool at one end, Raf chivalrously on the floor cushion at the other. Serena placed the board on the table. Serena and Bernie reluctantly slid away from one another on the sofa, to be near their respective teammates.

Bernie began by feeling disappointed that she and the brunette were not in the same team, but after catching sight of Serena's wicked face she grinned and decided that this was going to be fun.

“Well, I've never played this before,” Bernie said, eyes dark at Serena. She bit her lip, innocently. “Someone explain the rules?” It was blatant flirting and Raf raised his eyebrows. Fletch was pouring them all more wine and didn't notice.

“Right well each team has …” Serena looked up mid sentence and faltered at Bernie's expression. “… a counter each.” Bernie purses her lips in triumph. “And someone throws the dice and you land on a colour, which represents a different category …” She faltered again at Bernie's gaze at her, Bernie's fringe hiding her eyes a bit, as Bernie took her wine glass, newly filled, from the table to sip. Bernie's eyes never left her face.

“And if you get the question right you can have another go,” Raf finished for her, rolling his eyes at them. “If you land on one of the ‘headquarter’ spaces, and you answer correctly, you get a piece of cheese.” Bernie blinked from her gaze at Serena and frowned at him.

“What?”

“Cheese,” Raf explained, holding up one of the plastic wedges. “It goes on your counter.”

“Ah,” Fletch continued, remembering. “Yeah and then when you get all the cheese you answer a question of the other team’s choice, on the middle square, here,” he pointed, “and if you answer it right you win.”

“What are the categories?” Bernie asked, actually interested and forgetting her attempt to distract Serena for a moment. Serena smiled a bit, feeling the heat in her cheeks. She had to remind herself they were amongst their best friends, the people they most trusted.

Raf picked up the cards. “Geography, entertainment, history, arts and literature, science and nature and … sports and leisure.”

“No … medicine?” Bernie asked, mock-hopefully.

“Nope.”

“Damn. A girl can dream.”

“Who gets to roll first?” Fletch asked, as Bernie took his arm in camaraderie and sat as close to him as she could.

“I think we'll give you the head start,” Serena said, smiling smugly.

“Just because I let you win once…” Bernie said, smug also. Raf widened his eyes at them both. This was going to be a long, if amusing, evening.

Fletch rolled. He moved the counter. “Geography.”

Raf took a card. “Where are the Luxembourg Gardens?”

“Luxembourg!” Bernie said loudly, emphatically.

There was a pause. “No. Paris.” Raf shrugged. “Sorry.” Bernie shrugged but pouted, handing the dice to Serena, who rolled. “History.”

Fletch took a card. “When did the American Civil Ward end?”

“Eighteen-sixty-five,” Serena replied immediately. Bernie opened her mouth in protest.

“That's not fair, you lived there,” she said, shocked.

“Well I can't help how the questions go, can I?” Serena grinned at the horrified army medic sat so far away from her. “Spoil sport.”

The game continued in such a fashion, with Serena and Raf miles ahead of Bernie and Fletch. Bernie gritted her teeth and, after several apologetic looks toward her team mate, she calmed down a bit and started to play in earnest.

A whole hour and two bottles of wine later, Bernie was back to the randomly-shouting-out-stupid-things-if-I-don't-know-the-answer method of playing the board game. Fletch had given up and was just laughing at her, face in his palm more frequently than not.

Even Raf was finding the whole thing uncomfortably funny. Serena was not. She had barely finished her original glass of wine and her eyebrows had stuck down in a firm frown around half an hour ago, when Bernie had begun her new method. Serena wanted to play properly and wanted to win, thank you very much, and wasn't about to accept anything other than serious play.

“Art and literature,” Raf said, eyeing Serena with trepidation. He picked up a card and Bernie and Fletch looked at him expectantly. “Who wrote the Satanic Verses?”

Bernie's face was very serious. “Henrick Hansson,” she said. There was a beat, then the boys and she dissolved into uncontrollable giggles. Serena looked at them with disbelieving eyes, which then softened a bit when she saw the tears in Bernie's as she laughed.

Come to think of it, when was the last time she saw or heard her girlfriend laugh like that? When was the last time Bernie had allowed herself such an abundance of carefree frivolity? Serena kicked herself morosely and took her glass, draining it, indicating Fletch pour her another. Dammit there were more important things to life than winning a silly board game on Christmas Day evening.

Despite her more relaxed demeanour, Serena and Raf still managed to beat Bernie and Fletch by two pieces of cheese, answering the last question (entertainment category: what year did Elvis Presley die?) with a unanimous and joyous: “nineteen-seventy-seven!”

Bernie threw her arms round Fletch in commiseration and they pretended to ball with tears. Serena finally laughed, loud and throaty, shaking her head and shaking Raf’s hand warmly. “Well it was so close,” Serena said, voice childlike and more than a little teasing. Bernie lifted her head from Fletch’s shoulder and shifted across the sofa towards her, face alight with alcohol and mirth and eyes bright. They clasped hands in a handshake and their eyes went soft, gaze tender for a moment.

Raf grabbed Fletch’s shoulder and steered them to standing and then out of the living room with some comment about more wine.

Bernie’s gaze was warm and affectionate and more than a little loving. Serena felt inside her chest go warm and smiled back with similar vigour. Their fingers interlaced in a familiar way and Serena closed her eyes in a smile. “I'm really sorry you lost,” she said, blatantly not sorry at all.

“We’ll have to play … something I'm good at.” Bernie screwed up her face and then grinned. “Hockey. I was good at hockey.”

“Were you.”

“Or we could have a proper arm wrestle. I won't let you win this time.”

“You do realise I'm now fully aware of how strong you are?”

“Don't you know it.”

“And I am also fully aware that I do not stand a chance.”

“That a promise?” Bernie moved close to her, fingers reaching for her chin, fingertips tickling a bit. Their lips barely brushed and Serena inhaled deeply. She swallowed and pulled back a bit, blinking rapidly.

“Later,” she breathed, but grasped Bernie's other hand firmly, not letting her go.

“What if we just slipped away for a moment?” Bernie asked, eyes dark and searching, breathing deep. Serena shook her head.

“We have guests.”

“But I've … missed you.”

“I know.” Serena’s gaze dropped to Bernie's lips, but she refrained from moving in and taking them between her own. “It's okay. We can wait.” She reached to filter her fingers through Bernie's hair. “We've got time.”

“Good. Okay.” Bernie smiled into the caress and turned her cheek into Serena's palm.

Raf and Fletch returned and Raf held out a fresh bottle of wine, with a questioning grin. Serena rolled her eyes, and was about to protest but Bernie slid her wine glass forward on the coffee table. “Hit me, bartender.”

They all had a fresh glass. Fletch sat back on the footstool at Bernie's right side. “Another game?” he asked, gesturing randomly. Bernie sat back into the cushions, fingers interlaced with Serena's, but sitting far enough away that their hips weren't touching.

“Could do,” Serena replied, sipping her new drink absentmindedly.

“Charades?” Raf asked.

“No!” Bernie and Serena said at the same time.

“Have I ever?” Fletch suggested. Bernie cocked an eyebrow. Serena looked blankly between them.

“What's that?”

“So,” Fletch started, raising his glass before his face, “I say I've never done so-and-so…” His words were slurring a bit. “… and if you have done it, you drink.”

“Aren't we a little old for drinking games?” Serena asked, unsure. Bernie squeezed her fingers.

“Could be fun,” she said. Raf shrugged.

“I'm game,” he added.

Serena nodded. “Okay.” She frowned a bit. “So I drink if I've …”

“Done the thing someone says they haven't done,” Bernie explained, smiling behind her glass.

“I'm sure I'll pick it up.”

They started with mundane things: food they'd eaten, places they'd been, music they'd listened too. Bernie kicked off the more interesting subject matter with the statement, “I have never … make love in a public place.” Serena raised her eyebrows, now a dab hand at the rules of the game. She hesitated, then drank. So did Fletch. “Really?” Bernie murmured, trying not to grin. She indicated it was Serena's turn with a flick of her glass.

“I have never …” Sod it, she might as well join in. “… been so drunk I didn't remember the person’s name.” She didn't need to embellish. Fletch drank. Bernie drank, abashedly.

Raf took his turn. “I have never …” He eyed both women, amused. “Snogged anyone during work.”

Serena drank a large gulp of wine and raised an eyebrow. “Do we have to drink for each time?”

“I think we should,” Bernie agreed. They both drank twice.

Fletch drank too. He threw up his free hand. “It wasn't on AAU,” he admitted. “I was a jack the lad on the ED.”

“I can imagine,” Raf said, eyes wide.

“I have never …” Fletch considered for a beat. “… swam naked.”

“Skinny dipped?” Bernie asked to clarify. Fletch nodded. Bernie drank. Serena drank, blushing profusely. Raf looked between them, then drank. Fletch laughed.

“Okay, I take the jack the lad comment back. You are all perves.” Bernie suddenly yawned, the back of her hand over her mouth.

“God, I'm sorry,” she sighed, pushing her shoulders up in a stretch.

“Come on. I think we've partaken in quite enough festivities,” Serena said, standing and pulling at her hand.

“But…” Bernie complained, wiggling her half-full glass and clearly a little drunk. “…but the wine.” She looked like it was a terrible thing to leave.

“Will keep until Boxing Day night.” Bernie nodded and allowed Serena to pull her up from the sofa. Serena turned to the boys. “I'm going to put this exceedingly brilliant but rather smashed trauma surgeon to bed.”

Raf and Fletch waved at them, the game dissipating and the conversation turning to sports. They went into the kitchen. Serena took the glass still at Bernie's lips from those long grasping fingers and threw the remaining dribble of wine down the sink. “You, my dear, need a glass of water.”

“I'm fine,” Bernie insisted, eyes dark and a smile tugging at her lips. She pushed Serena against the counter clumsily, hands sliding round her waist. “Very fine, actually.”

“Come on,” Serena told her, hands on her shoulders. “Glass of water, then bed.”

“I love you,” Bernie murmured, before letting Serena go and following her upstairs after the slightly more sober of the two had made them both fresh crisp glasses of water.

Forgoing a shower, Bernie climbed out of her clothes and sat on the end of the bed in her underpants. Serena gave her the glass and insisted she drink it, whilst she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. When she came back into the bedroom, she found the glass on the bedside table, half-drunk, Bernie's clothes still in a pile on the floor where they'd been dropped, and a snoring Bernie curled up on top of the covers wearing only her underwear.

Serena smiled sweetly, put on her own pyjamas, then slid Bernie's T-shirt from under her pillow. She sat the blonde beautiful snoring medic up and, like with a child, helped her into the T-shirt, pulling it down to cover her back and belly. Then she slid Bernie under the covers, thankful that she'd drunk at least some of the water, before laying her head atop those blonde curls and wrapping her arms around her. She'd just have to go another night without anything more, but, really, what was one more night? They had forever.

 


	10. Whiskers On Kittens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NB: This chapter is a selfish ruse to express how much my face hurts every day, and has done for the last 3 ½ years. I suppose it's a bit of a cathartic attempt. I have permanent lingual nerve damage, which means my tongue, gum and floor of my mouth on the right side are numb and I feel burning and pins and needles constantly. I also have referred pain in my cheek and temple and jaw. 
> 
> They say “write what you know” and having never broken a bone, I have made a good attempt. I know pain, so Bernie's pain does come from somewhere real. 
> 
> Also, I massively ship my parents. They go for evening walks together each night when they're not working. And they hold hands. So this is a homage to them. 
> 
> Thirdly, I apologise in advance to anyone who has not seen the film ‘Better Than Chocolate’ and is therefore confused. It's a brilliant film. Go watch it!

Bernie's first sensation was a strong throbbing in her right arm. The second, was the cold wetness under her cheek. The third was someone lifting her head and placing something softer and drier under it. Then she heard hushed voices that sounded worried.

She'd seen a mother cat and her two kittens, paws careful on the wet pavement. The park usually only sported ducks and geese, so she'd been surprised and delighted by the domestic little family padding gingerly along the bike path, ducking under bushes, with their fluffy tails high. The kitten at the back had stopped to sniff something.

Then her mind had gone blank. Then, the throbbing, the wetness, the softness. Bernie grimaced and tried to open her eyes. Someone felt in her pocket and took out her phone, she tried to grab it back but the floor seemed above her head, the sky underneath her. She loved her phone, not because it had all her contacts and addresses in, but because that's where she kept all the pictures of Serena and her together. Then it all went silent again and she couldn't work out what was going on.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena received a text from Bernie at eight a.m. saying she'd be going out for a run. She rolled her eyes. This was part of Bernie's new year resolution, to start exercising again. She'd had a couple of months on the lead up to Christmas where frankly she hadn't needed to go to the gym. Work was busy and they did plenty of vigorous ‘exercise’ in the bedroom. Serena grinned and wondered in a strange way whether Bernie's sex drive would lessen at all if she was exhausted after each day.

She hoped not.

They'd had to wait until Boxing Day night to be together, properly, noisily (as Jason was out) and it had been well worth the wait. Serena checked through her emails absentmindedly at her desk and grinned at the memory of the frantic and impassioned session they had been engrossed in, afterwards falling fast asleep. And then the middle of the night, being woken up by a soft hand between her legs and a gentle tongue in her ear and then most beautiful and long and tingly and soft orgasm she'd ever experienced.

Serena crossed her legs under the desk and shook her head. She drank her coffee. She rechecked her emails. She played with the necklace at her throat. How had she become so distracted? She wasn't a teenager. Neither was Bernie.

She decided a walk was in order, perhaps some fresh air. She left Raf with strict instructions to page her if he needed anything and went up to the roof for a breather. Sitting on the steps for a moment, she relished in memories of the domesticity Bernie and she had appeared to have fallen into since Christmas. Squabbles over the dishwasher, teasing Jason about his new girlfriend, watching television together, the three-seater now their base of an evening, a bottle of something between them.

She had worried that they would quickly become complacent and downright boring. Luckily, both she and Bernie had a cheeky side each and often surprised the other with something or other: a bottle of wine, just because, a full on kiss, hands smoothing, if the lift was empty after their shift. Coffee in the morning – that was Bernie's new thing. Serena loved waking up to that smell, not because of her love of coffee but because Bernie had made it for her.

It was chilly, this January morning. There was still ice on some parts of the roads and she'd driven very carefully into work. Grit covered the roads, but not, unfortunately, the pavements. She reckoned the ED would be full of fallen and broken souls this week.

Her pager bleeped annoyingly. Okay then, off I go back down, she thought, slipping back through the door to the stairwell. It had been short-lived but her head felt a little clearer.

When she entered AAU, Raf met her at the lift. He looked like he didn't have time for pleasantries and just gave it to her straight. “Bernie's in the ED,” he said, apology shining out of his eyes.

“What's she doing there?” Serena asked pleasantly, then clocked his expression and her belly fell into her feet. “What?”

“She's been hit by … a bike or something,” he said. “They didn't give much info.” Serena heart raced and she gripped his forearm. Raf placed his fingers round hers. “Just go,” he said.

“I'll … be back as soon…”

“Don't worry. I'll cover you,” Raf said, pressing the button for the lift to call it back. “Hope she's okay,” he murmured, genuinely.

Serena stepped into the lift. All manner of images flashed through her brain. Bernie hurt, Bernie bleeding, Bernie needing her.

The lift seemed to take hours to drop to the ground floor and she flew out of it before the doors had even opened properly, pushing past a couple of people as she did so. She headed almost blindly to reception, where Noel (she though that was his name, Fletch often talked about him) was sat at his computer. “Ms W-wolfe,” she stammered. Noel looked up.

“Nope, I'm Noel.” He blinked then realised. “Ah. Ms … Campbell?” She nodded.

“Where is she? Bernie Wolfe?” Serena's heart was thumping in her ears. Her hands shaking as she lifted one to the counter to steady herself.

“Bay four. Want me to…”

“Yes, if you would.” She followed at his heels, trying to keep the lump from her throat. What if she was seriously injured?

They stepped to the curtain round bay four and Serena remembered herself before she barged in. “Um … its Serena. Campbell. Is Bernie … Bernie Wolfe in h-here?” She'd tried to make her voice commanding and assertive but she feared she'd failed miserably.

“Come in,” she heard that familiar voice and her heart leapt. She strode round the curtains and saw Bernie was at least awake and alive and she let out a breath.

“Oh … God Bernie.” Doctor Ethan Hardy looked up from where he was examining Bernie's right arm. “What …” She cleared her throat, rounded the bed to lean down and slide a hand round Bernie's shoulder. “What on earth happened?” There was anger in her voice but she didn't know who she was angry at. Bernie flinched away from her. Serena flinched in response and took a step back. Bernie had her head turned away, looked at Ethan for a moment, then at her socked feet up on the hospital bed. Serena looked down at the floor under the bed. Dirty trainers she'd kicked off without undoing the laces.

“I fell,” Bernie told her feet. Now that she knew Bernie was okay, Serena felt some of the panic lift. She raised an eyebrow.

“Fell?” she asked and Ethan finished examining Bernie's arm.

“I think we're looking at a fractured wrist,” Ethan explained. Serena looked down at Bernie’s swollen forearm and swallowed. Bernie was grimacing, trying to open and close her hand. Failing.

“Radius or ulna?” Serena asked.

“Both I think,” Ethan replied. “Need an x-ray.” He hesitated and looked between them. “Need a head CT as well.”

“What for?” Serena asked, reaching to take Bernie's chin in her hand. Bernie closed her eyes, reluctantly allowed her face to be turned. Serena gasped a bit as she saw the side of Bernie's face and jaw, red and swollen, blood swept against her cheekbone.

“I'm fine,” Bernie said, finally meeting her concerned gaze.

“Oh my love,” Serena breathed, wanting to hold her, to make it all go away. She sunk onto the side of the bed, hand gentle on Bernie's chin. “What did you do?”

“I'm just going to … get you some pain relief,” Ethan said, pointing out the curtains. He bustled away.

Bernie looked away again and shook her head. Serena went to touch Bernie's right arm where she was clutching it to her chest, but Bernie's eyes warned her off. She settled for a hand under Bernie's raised knee, thumb softly stroking her knee cap. Her black sports leggings were damp. “What happened?” Serena asked.

“I'm fine,” Bernie said again. She shook her head.

“Pull the other one, Major. Come on, spill,” Serena said, humour creeping through her concern. Bernie's eyes flicked to hers for a second, before flicking back to the end of the bed.

“I was out running in the park. Then the next thing I know some lunatic on a bike swishes past me and … I dunno. Not sure what happened. I think a lamppost was involved. Hence the head lac.” She huffed to herself, frustrated, anxious. “Span. Lost my footing. Tried to catch myself. Next thing you know …” She shrugged, gestured with her left hand.

“Did you lose consciousness?” Serena asked.

“Just for a minute,” Bernie shrugged it off like something irrelevant.

“Oh Bernie.”

“I dunno. Someone must have called the boys in green, because the next minute.” She frowned to herself, eyes suddenly filling with tears. She shook her head, wiped at her eyes and closed them tight.

Serena ignored her protests and put her hands behind Bernie's shoulders, coaxing her forward against her front. “Shh. It's okay.”

Bernie was silent, bar a few breathy sobs and Serena just stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. When a red headed nurse came in with a cannula pack and some morphine, Bernie grimaced, leaning back a bit. “Can't I just have some paracetamol?”

“For a fracture? You're brave Ms Wolfe.” The northern-sounding nurse was smiling, shrugging. She came round by Serena and waited for her to move out of the way, shrugging off an apology. “I can take it back but you’re going to need something a bit stronger than paracetamol.” Serena raised an eyebrow.

“Come on, you don't get any points for bravery.” Bernie still wouldn't look at her properly. Serena decided to let this fact go for now. “Humour me?”

“Fine. No more than five though, please, it doesn't really agree with me.”

“Okay,” the nurse (Robyn, Serena found out by reading her badge) replied, still smiling. “Want me to get some prochlorperazine as well?” Bernie nodded and made a noise of pain in her throat when Robyn swiftly inserted the cannula into her left hand. “I.M. okay?” Bernie rolled her eyes and nodded.

“Sure.”

“Want me to write it up?” Serena asked. Robyn shook her head, injecting the morphine through Bernie's cannula. She placed the needle in the sharps bin.

“I'll get Ethan … Dr Hardy … to do it.” Robyn put her hand on Bernie shoulder and smiled, reassuringly at both of them. “He's just doing the referral for your x-ray.”

“Can I go up with her?” Serena asked.

“I don't see why not.” Serena nodded and Robyn snuck out the curtains, pulling them closed behind her.

“You don't need to stay,” Bernie murmured, face turned away again. Serena narrowed her eyes in thought.

“Interesting they phoned up to AAU. Worried you'd be late for your shift?”

“No.” Bernie smiled tightly. “I have you as ICE in my phone. They must have called your work number.”

“I didn't realise I was your in case of emergency,” Serena said gently, affectionately. She smiled broadly, despite Bernie's refusal to look at her.

“You're … on my records as … next of kin.”

“Oh.” Serena's heart swelled. Bernie inhaled deeply through her teeth, left hand going up to her face. “Morphine will kick in soon,” Serena said, grimacing with her. “Give it a moment.”

“You should probably … go back to work,” Bernie said, bitterness in her voice.

“Don't be silly. Raf’s got it covered.” Serena frowned, reached to touch her shoulder, but Bernie pulled away again, tears trickling down her face. “Bernie, why are you being like this?”

“Because I'm …” Bernie finally looked at her but her eyes were angry. “… what stupid fool falls in a well lit park with barely anything in the way?”

“I thought you said it was a … maniac cyclist?”

“I may have been somewhat distracted.”

“By what?”

“Some cute cats?” Serena's eyebrows hit her hairline. “Talk about a sick joke. You shouldn't have to deal with this mess.”

“Oh do give up the self-pity thing, it's really not attractive,” Serena snapped.

“Well if the cap fits.”

Serena huffed frustratedly. “Bernie, honestly. This is not your fault and I am certainly not just leaving you here when you're injured and in pain.”

“I think you should.”

“Well, I think you're insane.”

“All the more reason to get out while you can.” Bernie wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Hmm,” Serena said, sharply, folding her arms across her chest. “You're in pain and totally pee-ed off. And therefore I'm going to ignore that.”

Robyn came in with the anti-sickness injection and Bernie, ashamedly and awkwardly, pushed down her leggings to give the nurse access to her thigh muscle. “Sharp scratch,” Robyn said, giving her the injection.

“I hate that phrase,” Bernie admitted. Robyn chuckled.

“So do I. Automatic though. Sorry.” Robyn turned to Serena. “Ms Campbell. Can I get you a brew?”

“That would be lovely,” Serena replied, smiling at the young nurse. “Milk no sugar please.”

“No probs. Just be five minutes then we'll get you down to radiology.”

Bernie sighed as Robyn left again. “Have you finished being a grumpy git?” Serena asked her. “You are allowed to be upset, you know.” Bernie looked up properly and caught her gaze. She sighed again, blinked on a small smile. Serena smiled back at her.

“I'm sorry.”

Serena caught Bernie's left hand between her own. “Kicked in has it? The morphine?” Bernie sighed a third time.

“Taking the edge off.” One side of her mouth lifted a bit. Serena relaxed.

“That's more like it.”

“I just feel … such a fool.”

“Because you got distracted by domesticated felines?” Bernie smiled a bit more.

“It was a mother and two kittens and they were adorable.”

“Were they?”

“They were. All fluffy.”

Serena put a hand to her lips to hide her amusement, then reached to gently examine Bernie's wrist. Bernie let her, gasping just a bit. She asked Bernie to do various movements; Bernie complied, although screwed up her face for most of the exam. “Well, I concur with Doctor Hardy’s assessment. Definitely broken. I can't see any indication it's a compound fracture though. Can you?”

“No.” Bernie's eyes were soft when Serena placed her arm back in her lap. “Small mercies.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Serena put her arm around Bernie's shoulder again, sat next to her agains the meagre pillows, facing the same way. She brought her so that Bernie's head was gently against her shoulder. Serena kissed those blonde curls, felt Bernie sigh and rest her uninjured cheek against her collarbone.

“I do like this blouse,” Bernie murmured, fingering the black and white material. “Looks like red blood cells.”

“Does it?” Serena asked, amused. “Very anaemic red blood cells.”

“Well yeah.” Bernie looked up at her, wincing at the pain in her arm and face. Her eyes were relaxed though and pupils large. “I really like you, Serena.”

“Goodness, a nice dose of morphine and some antipsychotics and you're anyone’s.” Bernie grinned but winced and put her bad arm up to her face, winced again and held her bad arm with her good hand.

“Ouch,” she groaned.

“Can I suggest we keep the flirting to a minimum,” Serena said, rolling her eyes at Bernie's confusion. “Before you do yourself further damage.”

Ethan and Max the porter arrived with a wheelchair and took them to X-ray, and Bernie continued to display rather drug-induced behaviours. To Serena's relief, her attention was mostly towards Ethan's spectacles, rather than Serena's shirt. By the time they reached the radiology department, Ethan was blushing and Max was hiding a chuckle. Serena was thoroughly enjoying the entertainment. A drug-induced Bernie was almost as fun as a drunk Bernie. Although she did wish the blonde hadn't sustained significant injuries to get her to this state.

They were all correct in the diagnosis – simple fracture of the ulna and radius. They sat out in the corridor and waited for the CT. Serena began to feel a little anxious. So far nothing had indicated anything more sinister than minor concussion, but head injuries could be evasive. Bernie looked over from the wheelchair and leant over the arm of it to take Serena's hand. She squeezed her fingers, knowing, as she often did, why Serena looked so worried. “It's okay. I'm sure I'm fine.”

“It's just a precaution,” Ethan said, unhelpfully, but faltered and stammered. “I … I mean it's … better to be safe than sorry.”

Bernie laughed gently, looked at him ludicrously. “It's okay, Doctor Hardy. Please no more cliches.”

“Arthur used to say: ‘Forethought we may have, undoubtedly, but not foresight.’”

“Ah. Another Napoleon quote, I believe,” Serena said, smiling warmly at the young doctor.

“That's right.”

They were called in for the CT. Serena waited outside, suddenly feeling a need to take a moment. She watched Max and Ethan help Bernie clamber behind into the machine, before the doors swung shut. She leant forward, hands over her face for a moment, elbows on her knees. The year had been going so well, although, she had to admit, today could have been a lot worse.

New Year's Eve had been wonderful. Albie’s, copious amounts of champagne, and reasonably good music. She'd danced with Raf until Bernie had arrived, sporting a fabulous pair of green deelyboppers on her head and a grin to match. For the first time in years, Serena had had a proper kiss at midnight. They hadn't cared that they'd been amongst their colleagues. The kiss had lasted a while. Serena could still feel the ghost of Bernie's hands at the small of her back.

The door clattered open and they all came back out, Bernie chattering away. Serena smiled at her lovely Bernie, who's hair needed a brush and face needed a wash but otherwise was totally beautiful. “Aren't I allowed to walk?”

“No,” Serena replied, walking beside them and putting a hand on her shoulder. Bernie caught it and held it with her left. “Anything abnormal?”

“I have got a brain?” Bernie deadpanned.

“Nothing immediately apparent. We'll have to wait for the radiographers assessment.”

“I'll take a look,” Serena hissed to Bernie and Bernie grinned.

“See how she takes care of me?”

They arrived back on the ED and Robyn brought the items needed to make a cast for Bernie's arm, and a cup of tea for Serena. Bernie grimaced, didn't want anyone touching her arm to be quite frank, but was conscious that Serena didn't want to see her in pain. She chewed her lip. “Serena, can I ask a favour?”

“Course,” Serena said, fussing the the pillows behind Bernie's back as she settle back on the bed.

“Would you ring Cameron? And Charlotte?” She reached towards the arm band holder thing she'd bought to carry her phone when she went running and handed Serena her phone.

“Okay. I'll just …” Serena pointed out the curtains, and took her tea and Bernie's phone to the nurses station. “Hi, Elle, d’you mind if I use the phone a moment?”

“Of course, Ms Campbell,” Elle said, pulling the phone over to her. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Serena sipped her tea and started the process of telling the Dunne children that their mother was in hospital.

*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour later, having had the all-clear from the head CT (which Serena had perused for at least ten minutes, just to be sure) but understanding any change and they must come back, Serena helped Bernie out of the ED and round to her car. Bernie's cast covered her first knuckles and stretched up to her elbow. She'd been given TTAs and strict instructions to please take them if she was in pain by Ethan and Robyn (and Serena). Bernie had promised she would.

Serena had promised Ethan that she would be taking the rest of the day off to monitor Bernie, despite Bernie's complaints. Ethan had explained that she'd have to stay in hospital if there wasn't a suitable adult at home to watch her. Bernie changed her mind and decided that Serena being at home with her was the lesser of two evils. Not that she really minded, deep down, in that selfish part of herself. The same part that wanted to kiss Serena in the lift or skim her hand over her hip when they were in their office and no one was watching.

Serena had phoned Cameron and Charlotte (which was slightly odd as she had only met the latter over Skype) and then had panicked and phoned Jason, explaining clearly that Auntie Bernie was absolutely fine but that he would be on tea-making duties for the next six weeks. She heard the proud tone in his voice when she explained that he was going to have to help his Auntie Serena take care of his Auntie Bernie. She smiled at that.

The morphine was beginning to wear off. Bernie leant her head against the window all the way home. Robyn had applied the cast, then had generously cleaned up her face with some sterile water and swabs. Serena had told the nurse to make herself a cup of tea and had donned fresh gloves and taken over. Bernie had smiled at her the whole time, and Serena had smiled back. Bernie had pulled her forward with her good arm and kissed her on the cheek.

When they arrived at home, Serena went round to the passenger door before Bernie could open it, and opened it for her. Bernie raised an eyebrow. “What? I can't do it for you?”

“Of course you can,” Bernie replied, chuckling a bit. She dropped her head then, blowing out a careful breathe. “Oh.”

“Come on,” Serena said, holding out her hand. “More medication for you, and a nice warm fire.”

“Oh, you're going to build me a fire,” Bernie said with pleased wonder, getting out of the car and her eyes smiling warmly. “I love it when you do that.”

“Yes, although I think that's where my cave woman skills end, I'm afraid.” Bernie took Serena's offered arm and they walked up the path to the front door.

“You're not going to go out and catch me a bison for dinner?”

“How does lasagne sound?”

“Bison lasagne?” They went in, Serena called out for her nephew. “We're home,” Bernie shouted.

“The kettle is on,” Jason replied, coming into the hallway.

“Fabulous,” Bernie told him, a hand lightly on his arm. She took off her coat, carefully, wincing. Serena took it from her.

“Why did you fall over?” Jason asked as she followed him into the kitchen. Serena watched them go and hung up their coats.

“Lots of reasons. All at once,” Bernie replied, and he frowned at her.

“Exercise is dangerous. I don't think you should do it anymore.” He nodded, agreeing with himself.

“Well I don't think I'll be able to for a few weeks.”

“Good.” He touched her cast and looked interestedly at it. “Can I draw on your cast?”

“In a couple of days,” Bernie replied, smiling, then grimacing.

“Why are you frowning?” Serena came into the kitchen then, holding up the pharmacy bag with a flourish.

“Codeine with your tea?”

“Yes please,” Bernie murmured. “My arm and face hurt, Jason.”

“Oh.” Jason set about making their drinks and Serena stood in front of Bernie, lifting a hand to the bruise on her cheekbone and temple. Bernie closed her eyes and surrender to the touch.

“What hurts the most?” Serena asked.

“My face currently,” Bernie breathes, her good hand reaching to hold Serena's waist. “Although I'm sure that'll change.”

“You're getting a black eye.”

“Macho enough for you? We can always say the other guy came off worse.” Serena smiled, leant to kiss Bernie's cheek, the side that wasn't swollen and red. Their eyes locked, warmth held between them. Suddenly Bernie eyes went wide. She looked at her injured arm. She looked back at Serena, swallowed, stepped back. Disappointed and a bit horrified. “Oh.”

“What is it?” Serena asked. Bernie blushed, looked down, refused to answer.

“Your teas are ready,” Jason told them, his loud voice making Bernie flinch. Bernie went to take her tea from the counter.

Serena busied herself with Bernie's medication and held out a tablet as she sat on the sofa. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Bernie wouldn't meet her eye.

“What?” Serena asked, voice low.

“Tell you later,” Bernie breathed, eyeing Jason, who had turned on an episode of Countdown from the hard drive recorder. Bernie took the codeine willingly, with a mouthful of tea.

Serena busied herself by the fire, piling the coal and lighting it. She replaced the guard in front and went to wash her hands. They sat facing one another, sideways on the sofa, as they usually did when hot drinks were involved, socked feet tangling by hips and hot cups resting on laps.

When an advert break came up, Jason got up to use the bathroom. Serena finished her tea and reached to take Bernie's empty cup from her. “Are you going to tell me what you're upset about?” Bernie looked over the back of the sofa, making sure Jason was out of earshot. He was.

“It's my right arm.”

“Yes, that's right.”

“My … right.”

“Okay, well you can come back with light duties until that cast is off and occy health have approved it.”

“I'm not thinking about work,” Bernie hissed, eyes so miserable and eyebrows pushed down. She was looking at Serena with such sorrow.

“Then what?” Serena narrowed her eyes. “I won't make you do the housework whilst you're off. Cathy is perfectly capable …” It suddenly dawned on her what Bernie was so upset about. “Oh. You mean …”

“I don't think I can … with my left hand.”

“Oh, Bernie, I'm sure you can.” Serena smiled and blushed, chuckling a bit.

“Not … as well as I should.”

“It's really okay.”

“It doesn't feel okay. It's going to be weeks before…” Serena leant forward and gathered her up gently, pulled her against her shoulder, stroked her hair, her back.

“I can't believe that's what you're worrying about right now.”

“It's important to me.” Bernie sounded so guilty.

“Well, we will just have to … be creative.” Bernie blinked, inhaled a big breath from by Serena's neck, under her ear.

“Mmm creative?”

“Yep.” Serena smiled, kissed her head. “Problem solving skills and all that.” Jason came back in and took his seat again, turned Countdown back on. “To be discussed in a few days,” Serena whispered in Bernie's ear.

*~*~*~*~*~*

“Why is she asleep?” Jason asked an hour later, when he turned to find Bernie's mouth open a bit against Serena's shoulder. The fire was warm in the grate, flames having died down a while ago.

“Well, her body is healing itself. And that takes a lot of energy, especially with broken bones.”

“Oh.”

“She's also had some medication which could make one a bit sleepy.” Serena reached to slide a cushion under the heavy and cumbersome cast resting against her ribs. “She was saying some funny things at the hospital.”

“What things?” Jason asked, eager to hear.

“She was saying to Doctor Hardy that his spectacles made him look like Joe Ninety.”

“Who's Joe Ninety?”

“Google a picture.”

“Was she being unkind?” Jason asked, picking up his phone and tapping away. He saw a picture and grinned.

“Not on purpose. Codeine can make people a bit … a bit like they're drunk.”

“What can we do to help her arm heal?”

Serena smiled kindly at her nephew. “We’re just going to have to make sure she gets enough sleep at night and stays on top of her tablets.”

“If I sleep in the day, I don't sleep well at night.”

“Bernie needs a bit more sleep that usual.”

“Okay. Would you like another cup of tea?” Serena held Bernie to her and shifted to sit up a bit more. Bernie murmured something unintelligible against her shoulder then sighed and relaxed again.

“That would be lovely, thank you, Jason.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jason was content to watch all his episodes of Countdown, at a lower volume than usual, and Serena was content to hold Bernie close to her, cast resting on the cushion, until her bladder really did start complaining. She shifted a bit, uncomfortably, the arm she had wrapped round Bernie's back coming up so the hand could smooth against Bernie's shoulders. “Hey, come on Major, give an old woman a break.”

Bernie stirred, blinking, lifting her head a bit. She looked at the clock. “Did we miss lunch?”

“Thought we could have a snack if you'd like?” Serena said, thumb smoothing against Bernie's neck. Bernie sat up, pulling the cushion with her.

“Sorry. Didn't mean to use you as a human mattress.”

“Most of me forgives you. Not my bladder though, I’ll admit.” Serena sat up then stood. “Back in a mo.”

“Codeine should be taken four times a day,” Jason informed Bernie, reading from the patient information leaflet he'd somehow obtained. “It's been three and a half hours since you took one last. So at four o'clock you can have another one.”

“Thanks, Jason. What would I do without you?” Bernie said, grinning at him.

“Probably forget to take your medication.”

Serena came back in from the kitchen. She held up a bag of Maltesers. “Anyone for some chocolatey goodness?”

*~*~*~*~*~*

After dinner, which thankfully Bernie managed to eat one handed, they settled back on the sofa. Serena put on a CD, something gentle and melodic that Bernie recognised but couldn't name. Jason went upstairs to play on his PlayStation, with an assurance that he would be back downstairs to check on them before he went to bed, to make sure Bernie hadn't fallen asleep on Serena again (your back, Auntie Serena).

Bernie had phoned HR to let them know of the plan – two weeks off sick, then four weeks of non-clinical work before they would review it. If Bernie's arm was healed by six weeks, and she was able to have the cast off, she could return to work properly. Serena had phoned Raf, who, she realised, had been texting her all day asking how Bernie was. She felt a little guilty. He'd been worried and she hadn't told him everything was (relatively) fine.

Serena settled with her evening cup of hot chocolate, smiling softly at the blonde from the other end of the sofa. “How's the pain?” she asked quietly.

“Not so bad.”

“Could have some ibuprofen as well if you like?”

“I'm good.”

“Any dizziness? Nausea? Confusion?”

“I'm fine. I promise.”

“You'd better be,” Serena said, bitterness in her voice. She swallowed. “I'm sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Bernie asked, shifting towards her a bit and taking her hand. Serena sipped her hot chocolate.

“It just scared me this morning. I … I didn't know what had happened and I … didn't know if you were okay.” Serena's eyes were wide and a little wet. She inhaled a shaky breath.

“I'm fine,” Bernie reassured her, then rolled her eyes, lifted her broken arm. “Well. Nothing time and love won't heal.”

“Reckon I can help with the latter of those,” Serena said, voice soft. “You'll be waited on hand and foot for the next few weeks if I have my way.” She was trying to be stoic and brave, but Bernie knew her far too well these days to be fooled much. Bernie kissed her, ignoring the pain in her jaw and head, lips strong but careful. Her good hand came up to cup Serena's face.

“So long as I can return the favour when I’m healed.” Serena breathed a chuckled, put her hot chocolate on the coffee table, then lay back a little on the sofa, a hand on Bernie's shoulder to pull her atop her. She intended for Bernie to lay against her shoulder, as she had when she'd fallen asleep. Just a cuddle. She took the cushion and placed it against her own side, coaxing Bernie down, but the blonde held herself up with her good arm on the sofa arm. She rested her right arm in the heavy cast against the cushion as she caught Serena's lips again with her own.

“If it's too painful, don't worry,” Serena breathed between kisses, but Bernie shook her head.

“Kissing you makes everything feel better,” Bernie whispered and Serena licked her bottom lip a bit. Bernie kissed her again, with a little more vigour, and relished in the noise of agreement Serena made in the back of her throat.

When they broke apart, Serena had an eyebrow raised. “Perhaps I could charge for my services. Save the hospital a lot of money on pharmaceuticals.”

“Oh no, these are definitely all for me.”

They kissed for a while, Serena's hands sliding up to touch Bernie's sides, but staying still. Bernie, in the end, slid down to rest on her left hip, cast moving with the pillow onto Serena's tummy, arm round the back of her neck, hand smoothing her shoulder.

“Mmm,” Serena sighed as they broke apart. “Well if this is all I get for the next six weeks, I think I will cope.”

“Reminds me of last year,” Bernie said, a shy smile on her face. “Having you here on the sofa and trying to hold back from things going too far.” Serena giggled, hand touching Bernie's good cheek, eyes shining.

“I'm not saying I miss those moments … but …” She tilted her chin up and Bernie sealed their lips back together, tongue pushing and teasing.

The fire warmed them on one side, lying in the soft cushions. The music played, perfectly complimenting the soft and gentle mood. After a while, teeth began to bite at lips and Serena's hands began to wander upwards over Bernie's ribs. Bernie pulled back, a slow and shy smile on her face. “We should stop.”

“Déjà vu,” Serena replied, but nodded. “Sorry. My fault.” They sat up, Bernie kissed Serena's cheek, once, twice, then brushed her lips under her jaw. Serena closed her eyes against the gesture. “Right, my dear. Painkillers and bed.”

“Sounds good,” Bernie replied, eyes searching Serena's face a little.

“Apart from the obvious, you alright?” Bernie smiled.

“I just … thank you.”

“Oh goodness for what?” Serena scoffed, standing up from the sofa and going to the cupboard where she had tidied away Bernie's medications.

“Generally taking care of me,” Bernie replied, shrugging, standing carefully and putting a hand to her head when she felt a bit dizzy. Serena didn't comment, just brought the tablets to her and a glass of water. Bernie took the tablets and threw them into her mouth before taking the water. Serena rested a hand between Bernie's shoulder blades, rubbing a little.

“I will always take care of you,” Serena said, that happy little-girl-like tone in her voice.

“And I, you,” Bernie murmured, after swallowing the tablets with the water. “I'm sorry I was grumpy.”

“It's okay.” Smiles and eyes shining. Serena reached to cup Bernie's bad elbow in one hand and gently fit her own fingers between the ones peeking out of the end of the cast. “Better make sure we do everything we can to get this hand back up and running very soon.” Bernie gave her a cocky smile and Serena chuckled. “Not just because of that, we have patients that need this hand, and these wonderful fingers.”

“I do love you,” Bernie murmured.

“Good god those drugs kick in quick.”

“It's not the drugs talking.” Bernie kissed her again. Serena pulled back, nervously, blushing at the way Bernie was making her body feel.

“Come on Ms Wolfe.”

“After you Ms Campbell.”

Walking up the stairs together, they heard Jason's PlayStation still buzzing and banging. “Don't play too late please,” Serena called through his door.

“I won't,” she heard him call back.

They went into their bedroom and without any need to ask, Serena started helping Bernie undress. She still wore her running outfit and it wasn't the cleanest, mostly covered in dust and mud but also blood. Serena peeled it from her, then took it into the bathroom to rinse. “I'll wash it for you in the morning.”

“Okay.” She came back in to help Bernie with her bra, leggings and socks. She hooked her thumbs into Bernie's briefs and smiled gently at her, just leaving her hands against her hips. She leant up on her toes to press a kiss to the side of Bernie's nose, before slipping the briefs down her legs and allowing Bernie to step out of them. Bernie grinned down at her. “You are something,” she chuckled, smiling and cradling the cast in her good arm as she watched Serena collect the clothes and take them to the laundry basket.

“Oh good,” Serena said, sliding Bernie's pyjamas from under her pillow. “Reckon you can do these?” Then she took note of Bernie's naked body, noticing the blood and the dirt covering her skin. “You could do with a shower.”

“Not until this cast is off.”

“Plastic bag?”

“Tried that with Cam when he broke his arm. Not the most effective.” She bit her lip.

“Strip wash?” Bernie sighed, looking longingly towards the bed, but nodded. Serena followed her into the bathroom. Bernie shot her a surprised look and Serena grinned. “What you think I'm going to miss an opportunity to help?”

“Help. Is that what it is?”

“Can't knock a girl for trying.”

“Of course you can help if you like.” Bernie looked away a bit and Serena gave her a moment. “Actually … to be honest … every time I move, my arm throbs.”

Serena touched her shoulder, pain in her own eyes at how Bernie was feeling. Bernie caught her eye and nodded. Serena turned to squeeze out the bloodstained top she'd rinsed, then run a sink full of clean, warm water. She took a clean flannel from the small cupboard by the sink and wrapped Bernie's towel firmly round her cast. “There. Just in case.” She pointed to the closed seat of the toilet. “Sit.” Bernie sat.

Soaping up the flannel but careful to not make it too soggy, Serena started at Bernie's neck, then wiped up her face, carefully washing away the dried blood that still remained despite the good job Robyn had made at cleaning her up. Cheeks and jaw and nose and forehead, all so gentle and caring and loving. She rested her free palm on Bernie's jaw and used that to turn her face as she washed her.

Bernie closed her eyes, face upturned and willing. She winced when Serena glided the flannel close to her head laceration. “Sorry,” Serena breathed, Bernie purses her lips.

“S’okay.”

The flannel skimmed down over Bernie's shoulders, round her upper back, then Serena caught her good elbow and raised her arm to wash under it. Bernie blushed, turned her face away in embarrassment, but Serena’s touch was so gentle and her eyes followed her hands rather than resting on Bernie's face. She deliberately missed Bernie's breasts and moved the wash cloth across her collarbones and over to the other side, under the bad arm now, washing carefully, trying not to bump her arm.

Serena went back to the sink to rinse the flannel and then returned to Bernie, wiping the soap away. She knelt down between Bernie's legs and leant to kiss by Bernie's sternum, just above her scar, resting her forehead there a moment. Bernie's good arm slid around her shoulders, fingers teasing the bottom of her hair. Serena breathed out a sigh, then slid her own hands round Bernie's back, flannel rubbing softly at random spots along her spine, then she leant backwards a bit and quickly washed Bernie's tummy and sides. As she stood, Bernie caught the back of Serena's head and pulled her close, drawing her lips downwards, kissing her softly.

Serena drew back and smiled at her, gathering up the flannel so that it didn't drip everywhere. “Feel better?” Bernie smiled back and nodded, unwrapping the towel from her cast and sliding it around her own shoulders.

After brushing their teeth and various other bedtime preparation activities, including Serena helping Bernie into her pyjamas, they settled into bed together. Serena had pulled a spare pillow from the airing cupboard and Bernie hugged it to her as she lay on her left side, facing Serena, her cast resting atop it. Serena switched the lamp off and then reached to tuck a blonde curl behind Bernie's ear. “You okay? You comfy?”

“Moderately,” Bernie replied, an eyebrow raised. Serena stroked her cheek.

“I'm sorry you're in pain,” she breathed, eyebrows down in a desperate frown, right hand coming up to slide under Bernie's neck. She bent her knees up to wrap her feet a little loosely around the bottom of the pillow Bernie was resting her cast on, feeling sad there was a pillow between them, that she couldn't hold her close. Bernie copied her, socked feet curling round Serena's calves, shifting forward a bit to kiss the tip of Serena's nose. Serena grinned in the darkness and Bernie felt satisfied.

Their hands joined loosely under Bernie's regular pillow, Serena's palm against the back of Bernie's hand, her fingertips threading between Bernie's. Serena's thumb made small slow circles on the fleshy bit of Bernie's palm, below her little finger. She watched Bernie's eyes close.

Serena forced herself to stay awake and watched Bernie fall to sleep. She blinked in the darkness for a few more minutes to make sure she was really truly asleep, checking her breathing, checking she was okay. Tiredness overcame her however and inevitably, she drifted to sleep herself.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena woke with a jolt from a dream about cats. She immediately knew Bernie had inadvertently woken her – the blonde was lying on her back, tears shining in the dark, shuddering and breath hitching. “Bernie,” Serena breathed, rolling over towards her and touching her face. “What is it?”

Bernie's shoulders were tense, her head stretched back into the pillows. “Ow,” was all she could manage.

“Your arm?” Bernie nodded, her teeth gritted, a snarl on her face as she shifted uncomfortably around on the bed. “Sit up sweetheart,” Serena coaxed gently, reaching to turn on the lamp. Bernie was shaking and her breathing was shallow and fast. Serena sat against the pillows and patted her good shoulder. “Come on.”

Bernie pushed up, shakily managing to sit against the headboard. She closed her eyes tightly and leant into Serena when warm arms wrapped around her. “Ow,” she breathed, tears streaking her cheeks.

“Shhh,” Serena cooed. “Come on. Slow your breathing for me.” Bernie clasped her arm close to her chest, whimpered a bit. “It's okay, you're okay.” Serena stroked her hair, kissed her forehead, over and over. She frowned, bit her own lip. It wasn't like Bernie to panic. She looked at the clock, did the maths in her head and sighed, dejectedly. “You can have some ibuprofen, but it's not even morning yet and too early for anymore codeine.”

“Just … just …” Bernie snuggled her cheek against Serena's shoulder like a child.

“Slow your breathing, Bernie.” Bernie made a conscious effort to do so, gripping Serena's T-shirt with her good hand. Serena rubbed her back in gentle circles. Bernie started to relax. Serena shushed her, hummed a bit into her hair, even rocked her a little.

Eventually, Bernie leant heavily against Serena's chest, hand softening in the fabric of her T-shirt. Serena leant them back more comfortably, smiling as Bernie's hand relaxed, fingers splaying against her waist. “Serena,” Bernie breathed against her shoulder.

“Mmm-hmm?”

“I'm sorry I woke you up.”

“That's okay.” Serena wiped Bernie's tears away with a kind thumb. “Any better?” Bernie nodded. “Want some ibuprofen?”

“No thank you.”

“Hmm.”

“Want to sleep.”

“Okay.” Serena lay them down again, settled Bernie properly against her, head on her chest, arm against the extra pillow over her middle. Bernie rubbed her face unconsciously against the softness under her cheek, Serena sighed a bit, cleared her throat. Bernie frowned, then realised what she'd done and where.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“I don't mind.” Serena smiled, turned a bit to switch off the lamp again. “It feels …” she blushed a bit in the darkness. “…nice?”

Bernie stayed still a while. She was trying to breathe slowly, and distracting herself by breathing with Serena’s nice slow and deep breaths was working relatively well. The rise and fall of Serena’s rib cage under her cheek was lulling, calming, her arms around her felt safe. It wasn't long before she was drifting.

Serena waited until Bernie was properly asleep, before carefully reached to her phone and logged in to Amazon. Bernie was going to need some distractions tomorrow. She booked next day delivery with her Prime account. She nodded to herself internally, before locking the phone and placing it back on the bedside table. She stroked Bernie's hair.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena woke at six and found Bernie sitting up and taking a tablet with her eyes closed. Bernie lay back down on Serena's chest, sighed, squeezed her. She rubbed her face against her like before, fell almost immediately back to sleep. Serena pulled the extra pillow more comfortably under Bernie's arm and kissed her forehead before falling back to sleep herself.

At eight-thirty sharp there was a gentle tap at the door. Serena blinked open her eyes, although she'd been awake, she'd lain still, listening to Bernie's breathing against her, content that she didn't have to get up for a while. She wasn't in work until eleven. “Auntie Serena? Auntie Bernie?”

Serena checked that neither of them had undressed during the night, and said, “yep, come in Jason.”

He pushed the door slowly open, and peeked round it, holding two cups of tea in one hand. “I know usually Bernie makes you coffee in bed in the morning, but I assumed she wouldn't be able to do so with her arm being broken.” Bernie began to stir against Serena, and Serena stroked the blonde hair back from her face as brown eyes opened. “So I made you a cup of tea each, because I'm not entirely sure how to make coffee.”

“Thank you, Jason,” Serena said warmly, as she rubbed Bernie's back. Bernie rose to sit up, which meant Serena could shift to sit up too. Jason lingered in the doorway. “Come bring them to us,” Serena coaxed and, permission granted as she knew he needed sometimes, he rounded the bed in his dressing gown to place one cup by Bernie's side and then back around to relinquish Serena's cup as well.

Bernie blinked at him, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “Thanks Jason, you're a star.”

“No I'm not. Auntie Serena named her star after my grandmother Adrienne.” He raised an eyebrow though and Bernie grinned knowingly over her cup of tea, eyes sparkling with amusement. Sometimes Jason joked about his inability to understand turns of phrase. He was getting rather good at it.

“Come and sit,” Serena said, patting the bed by her feet. He sat and folded his hands in his lap. “What are your plans for the day?”

“Well this morning I intended on going to see Alan, but he said he has to visit his mum, so I can't do that.”

“Would it be a terrible inconvenience if you were to stay with Bernie? Just until after lunch?” Serena smiled, wrapped her hands around her warm cup.

“What's it worth?”

“I'll bring you home another bag of Maltesers. As my emergency bag mysteriously disappeared last night.”

“Why?”

“Bernie hit her head yesterday. She needs to be watched by a mature adult and I think you fit that description rather well.”

“You don't need to watch me,” Bernie said, more to Serena than Jason, but Serena shook her head.

“I insist. I need to be at work for eleven and I’m not leaving AAU without both its consultant surgeons. How ever much I would like to stay at home with you.” Serena saw Bernie roll her eyes and ignored her. “I really must insist.”

“I think I could do that,” Jason said, after serious but quick consideration. “And I can remind you to take your medications on time. I'd be good at that.”

“And keep her topped up with tea,” Serena continued.

“I'm not a child,” Bernie murmured. “I don't need a minder.”

“I wouldn't treat you like a child, Auntie Bernie. Because you're not a child, so that would be pointless.” He nodded. “I can stay at home.”

“Just until after lunch.”

“Why until then?” Bernie asked.

“Because I say so,” Serena replied, kindly but firmly. “I'm still not happy about that head.”

“Okay,” Jason said. “I'm going to go and have a shower now.” He considered Serena. “You've missed your time slot and you will have to wait.”

“That's okay,” Serena replied, holding up her half-drunk cup of tea. “I still have a very fine cup of tea to drink anyway.”

He stood and left. Bernie eyed Serena for a moment, then decided it wasn't worth the argument and slid up close to her, kissing her cheek. Serena grinned at her and placed her cup on the bedside table. “How's the arm?” She reached for it and Bernie grimaced.

“Achy. Think it's still a bit swollen.”

“Hmm,” Serena murmured, turning the cast over in her hands, pressing here and there. “Yep, you're right. Need to keep an eye. Can I rely on you to do that if Jason takes care of everything else?”

“Suppose so. Big macho army medic you know. Used to responsibility.”

“Ah, yes, I forget about your significant credentials sometimes.” They smiled at one another. Serena caressed Bernie's fingers where they poked out of the cast. “Would have loved to stay off today. Maybe have a duvet day in our pyjamas. Anyway,” she said, her face showing a cheekiness Bernie hadn't seen in a while, “you're going to receive a parcel.”

“A parcel?” Bernie asked, surprised.

“Mmmhmm. Something to keep you occupied whilst I'm at work and you are resting.”

“Am I allowed to know what it is?”

“No.”

“Is it a puppy?” Bernie asked, mock hopefully.

“No,” Serena said playfully and swatted her on the good arm. “It's something that I'm hoping will make sure you bloody well sit down for a moment or two.”

“I look forward to it being delivered.” Bernie grinned. “Is it a trampoline?”

“Oh shush.” Serena leant forward and kissed her lips, if only to shut her up.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie brushed her hair, wishing she could put it up in a ponytail but supposing she'd have to wait for Serena to help with that later. Her hair felt a bit greasy. It needed a wash. Another thing she reckoned Serena would have to help with.

She'd managed to dress herself although it had taken a while. Serena had scooted downstairs after showering at around ten, grabbing breakfast and a flask of coffee on her way out the door. They'd cuddled for a long while after finishing their cups of tea and Bernie felt a bit guilty. Deep down, she'd wanted Serena to stay, however weak and childish that had made her feel. She wanted to be taken care of by Serena. She'd never felt like that with anyone before.

Jason was sitting at the kitchen table using his laptop. “Hello Bernie. I'm researching concussion. And broken bones.”

“Interesting stuff.”

“I heard you moving about and thought you'd be down soon. So I made you a cup of tea. Auntie Serena said you should have breakfast as well, although I think it's too late for breakfast. It's nearly eleven o’clock.”

“I'm sorry.” She awkwardly made herself breakfast whilst Jason tapped away, letting out the occasional ‘oh I didn't know that’ and ‘you’re old so it will take your bones longer to heal’.

“You can have your codeine as well. As it's been five hours since your last one.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena took her gloves and gown off and washed her hands, Raf beside her doing the same. “How was she this morning?” He asked and there was no doubt about who he was talking about.

“Not too bad.” She looked up at him and smiled, affectionately. “Ever my brave soldier.” He smiled back and there was a moment of quiet as they both reflected on the possessive words and tone of her voice.

“I was talking to one of the paramedics that picked her up,” Raf said, trying to sound casual. “She said that a witness saw her practically run into a kid on a bicycle. Distracted or something.” Serena shook her hands and dried them.

“Yes well she may have been a little enamoured by something she saw as she was running.” Raf’s eyebrows hit his hairline.

“Really?”

Serena blushed. “No, Raf, goodness. Well she said … actually … no …” Serena huffed, flustered. “To be honest Berenice Wolfe would be rather less embarrassed about admitting she'd been eyeing up another woman, than a family of cats.”

“Would she?”

“I think so.” Serena widened her eyes at him, frowned. “You don't think … no.” She shrugged it off.

“You think she would have told you?”

“I think you're making me paranoid, Mr Di Luca.” She threw a paper towel at him, mischievous look on her face. “What d’you reckon?”

“Thinking about it, yeah. She’d probably have been all shy with it, but she would have made out the lady she was looking at looked like you.” He shrugged. “Or something.”

“Hmm.” Serena looked smugly at him and sauntered away. Raf chuckled to himself and shook his head as he dried his hands.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Did you get it? Xx

Yes. Looks great. Thank you. Xx

And the other one? Have you hidden it in the bedroom for later entertainment? Xx

Yes. Jason didn't see. Xx

Good. That's not a conversation I want to have with him! Xx

Lol. Xx

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena returned home just after seven. She could smell dinner cooking from outside the front door and smiled to herself, knowing that Bernie would not have been cooking alone. Knowing that this meant Jason had stayed home all day. The second thing she noticed was the laughter coming from inside, which grew to a crescendo as she opened the front door.

The barking, guttural sounds coming from the living room made her grin broadly. Familiar music drifted into the hallway and she could hear both Bernie and Jason singing along.

“…and it all started with the Big Bang!” they shouted together at the end. Serena chuckled as she took off her coat and bag and shoes. She pulled on her slippers and snuck through the kitchen and into the living room.

“I see you received your gift,” she said and Bernie's flushed and grinning face turned to face her from the three seater.

“I can't believe you bought me the complete eight series of this,” she said, reaching out to grasp Serena's hand over the back of the sofa. “This is so funny.”

“Glad to see you're enjoying it.” Serena looked around the living room. “I see Cathy as usual has done a Stirling job.” She eyed them both. “I'm hoping you two didn't get under her feet.”

“Actually we sent her home,” Bernie said, very seriously. Too seriously.

Serena raised an eyebrow.

Jason and Bernie looked at each other, pointed at each other and shouted: “bazinga!” before falling about, tears of laughter in their eyes.

“Hilarious,” Serena said, and came round to sit with Bernie, reaching for her broken arm. “I had heard this programme was reasonably amusing. And apparently all the physics and details are accurate. Always good.” She turned Bernie's hand over in her own two and checked her fingers. She bent down to kiss her fingertips.

“I've been looking things up,” Jason said, pointing at his laptop on the footstool by the two seater sofa. “I've learnt lots of things about string theory.”

“And I think we've nailed the theme tune,” Bernie said, smiling at Serena’s gentle kisses to each of her own fingertips. Serena reached to silently touch her face where it was bruised, trying to keep the concern from her face at how swollen Bernie's eye was. She pushed back her hair gently, tucked it behind her ear as she checked the wound. Bernie's grin remained. Serena chuckled a bit.

“I'm going to take a flying leap and say you've been on the codeine.” Bernie pursed her lips and looked at her innocently.

“I may have.”

“Good,” Serena said, squeezing her good hand in both of hers, holding it in her lap.

“I've been reminding her,” Jason said, eyes on the television. “At eleven, four and Bernie can have the next one at nine.”

“Ah, that's my boy,” Serena said affectionately. “And I see someone has cooked dinner.”

“We have made a pie,” Jason said, pausing the DVD and turning to them both.

“Have you?”

“Chicken and tarragon. With onions and carrots and leek.”

“Really?” Serena mouth watered. She'd eaten a meagre lunch and was quite hungry.

“Jason did all the heavy work,” Bernie reassured her. “I just helped. Here and there.”

“Oh, I would have cooked you two,” Serena admonished, reaching to give Bernie's shoulder a squeeze and then letting her thumb caress.

“You've been at work. I refuse to be a kept woman,” Bernie replied, her eyes closed and face upturned in stubbornness.

“Thank you.” Serena kissed her gently on the lips and they smiled at one another. “And you, Mr Hayes. Nice to hear you're taking an interest in something other than baked beans.”

“We got the recipe off the internet.”

“Fantastic. When will it be ready?”

*~*~*~*~*~*

After dinner, which Bernie managed to eat with two hands, although Serena had to ignore the clatter of her knife on her plate as she dropped it no less than five times, they cleared away together. Serena eyed Bernie. “Have you been resting all day?” she asked, disbelief evident in her gaze.

“Will you tell her?” Bernie said to Jason, scoffing at Serena's sudden smile. “I really have. Proper couch potato. We managed to start season three.”

“Okay,” Serena said, “I believe you.” She dried the casserole dish and knelt down to put it in the cupboard. “How would you like a walk?”

“A walk?”

“Just round the block?” Serena stood back up. “I sat for three hours repairing a radial artery among other mangled things in a patients arm this afternoon. I could do with a walk.”

“I don't want a walk,” Jason said grimacing and putting the last of the cutlery in the dish washer.

“I was thinking more of a Bernie-and-me walk, actually Jason,” Serena said, eyes narrowing and trying to be kind.

“Oh, that's okay then,” Jason said, grinning, pleased. Serena chuckled and raised her eyebrows in question to the blonde.

“Okay, a walk sounds nice.”

“All done here?” Serena asked and Jason nodded. “Sling?” Bernie rolled her eyes. “Yes, you are.”

“Fine,” Bernie said, mock-annoyed and allowed Serena to help her into the foam and Velcro sling she was supposed to wear all the time but was refusing to.

Serena helped Bernie into her coat (the sling nestled carefully underneath) before wrapping a tartan scarf round the blonde’s neck. Serena smiled warmly at her, hands lingering on her shoulders. They left, Serena also sporting a scarf, hers much more sparkly and a lot fluffier.

They walked, slowly at a stroll, Serena's right hand clasped in Bernie's left, out the gate and down the road, orange street lamps lighting their way. “How was your day, really?” Serena asked and Bernie shrugged a bit.

“Not amazing, but not terrible.” She looked down at the pavement in front of her feet. “I've not really been in pain since … well since the IED. And my recovery from that.”

“Mmm,” Serena hummed into the chilly air. “Want me to write you up something stronger? Or you could take sixty tonight, if it's that bad?”

“It's tolerable,” Bernie explained, squeezing Serena hand in appreciation. “It just catches me off … off guard sometimes.” She smiled shyly at Serena. “To be honest, if Jason hadn't been there today I … probably would have just got on with … not taking it easy.”

“Well he does have his uses.”

“He does,” Bernie replied, laughing. She quietened and sighed into the cool evening air. “I do love him.” Serena squeezed her hand back and just smiled at her. “And he and Cameron get on so well.” Bernie looked up, eyes shining with a smile. “Did you know that they text each other?”

“Do they?”

“Yep. Apparently they both have an appreciation for …” Bernie shook her head. “… Nicole … someone?”

“Scherzinger?” Serena asked, immediately.

“From that … X Factor?”

“That's her.”

“Who is she?”

“God knows.” They both chuckled. “I'm assuming she's attractive.”

“Boys,” Bernie exclaimed, holding out their joined hands, her fingers splayed wide between Serena's.

“I'm sure it's not just boys,” Serena mused. “I do remember Elinor having posters of various boy bands on her walls.”

“Charlotte had ponies. Lots and lots of ponies.”

They walked a little further and eventually came across the park Bernie had fallen in that morning. Bernie purses her lips, looking sideways at Serena as they approached the gate. “There's a nice bench. It's well lit.” Serena eyed her, and Bernie tugged her hand until she smiled and followed her through the gate into the park.

It was well lit, Serena noticed, and she felt at no risk. Especially with her macho army medic; even with a broken wrist she figured the blonde would be excellent in a confrontation. She wriggled her hand into the crook of Bernie's elbow and walked closer beside her.

They found the bench and sat. Bernie wrapped her good arm around Serena's shoulders and dropped a casual kiss against her temple. They looked out across the city, the traffic lighting up the horizon like a red and white string of fairy lights. Their breath spiralled up into the frosty night. Trees overhead, their branches bare but enclosing, like a canopy above them. Serena lifted her shoulders and smiled at Bernie, who pulled her closer.

“What were you envisaging when you brought me here?” Serena asked into the still night. Bernie snorted.

“I'm not sure.” She gestured with the fingers of her left hand against Serena's shoulder. “The view is nice.”

“It is.”

“I suppose … we haven't really … done the dating thing for a while.” Bernie smiled at her, thumb smoothing against the wool off her coat as she dropped her hand to Serena's upper arm. “One could describe this as … romantic.”

“I suppose,” Serena breathed, and their gaze locked, eyes soft. Bernie's eyes dropped to Serena's lips. Serena swallowed as Bernie leant in a little closer. “What if someone were to walk past?” Serena asked. Bernie shrugged.

“Then they'd see two people … snogging on a park bench.” Serena raised an eyebrow, lifted a hand to Bernie's cheek, looked shyly at her.

“Well, I suppose, as it's a date…” Serena moved close, toothy smiles on both of their faces as their noses brushed gently, then their lips. They both inhaled deeply as their lips caught, Serena's hands sinking into Bernie's hair as Bernie clutched her upper back. Lips moved softly against one another, heads tilting.

After a while Bernie inhaled and Serena recognised the sound of pain. She broke the kiss but stayed close, a gentle hand at where the bruise tinted Bernie's face. “Time for your next dose of pain killers,” she breathed. Bernie whispered out a laugh.

“I told you. Kissing you is just as good.”

“We might be missed if that's all we did for the next six weeks.”

“Mmm.” Serena turned Bernie's face to one side and oh so gently kissed the bruise at her cheekbone, grazed another kiss at her temple.

“It's cold,” Serena commented gently. “Can't be good for the pain.”

“It's not,” Bernie said sadly, shifting a bit, uncomfortably. Serena rubbed her good arm.

“Better get you home into the warm.” Bernie nodded, but she looked so sad and just pressed their lips together once more. Just one more.

Ten minutes later they managed to break apart, stand from the bench and, hand in hand, walked back home. In the warmth of the hallway light, Serena raised her eyebrows. “No disrespect, Bernie, but your hair is disgusting.”

“I know,” Bernie said, blushing, shrugging off her coat. “I'm gonna have to … try to … wash it in the sink or …” She shrugged and grimaced, eyeing the cast on her forearm with disdain.

“Why don’t I run you a bath?” Serena asked. “Strip washes are all very well but I'm sure you'd feel better with a good long soak.” Bernie screwed up her face and Serena giggled. “How about I give you a hand? As it were.”

“Would you wash my hair?” Bernie asked, a childlike innocence and hopefulness creeping through her words.

“Of course I will.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie sat on the bed, awkwardly shrugging out of her clothes, door to their bedroom firmly shut. She smiled as she heard Serena calling through Jason's bedroom door, explaining their intentions and imploring him to stay in his bedroom. She heard him call to agree and smiled. She heard him turn the volume up on the game he was playing. She took a codeine tablet with water. She pulled on her robe, grabbed her towel. She headed onto the landing.

Serena was sitting in the closed toilet and when she saw Bernie she grinned and held up a large plastic jug from the kitchen like a trophy. “Tada.”

“Good idea,” Bernie said, smiling. She closed the bathroom door behind her and looked into the bath. “That's ... a lot of bubbles.”

“You deserve a treat.”

“Smells lovely.”

“Good. Lavender and geranium. A bit girly but …” Serena shrugged, standing from the toilet to reach a hand into the water and swished it about a bit. She turned off the taps. “When you're ready.” She held back from reaching out to help Bernie into the bath.

Resting the heavy cast on the side of the bath, atop a hand towel Serena had left folded for her there, Bernie sunk into the warm water. She hummed in pleasure and relaxation, eyes closed. She settled her head back and peeped her eyes open a little, smiling over at Serena, who was sitting back on the toilet lid, leaning forwards, elbows on her knees. Serena's own fingers interlocked in front of her. Bernie remembered the collection of weekly baths they’d had together, before Christmas had intervened and New Years, and they'd completely forgotten about the arrangement. Bernie promised herself she'd make the move to start them up again, once the cast was off. She liked to wash Serena's shoulders for her.

“Okay?” Serena asked quietly.

“Yes. Thank you,” Bernie replied, exhaling out a sigh. Serena left her to it for a while. She watched her own hands, giving the blonde some space to relax and enjoy the bath.

There had been a reason for all the bubbles and it wasn't a completely selfish one. Serena knew what Bernie's naked body did to her, looking at her skin, her curves, her long legs. Damn just trailing her gaze over those lovely collarbones often made her feel tingly and warm. But. Bernie was in pain and injured. She hadn't wanted Bernie to feel self-conscious (not that she did, usually) and had created the overly-bubbled bath as a cloak of dignity for her partner. She wanted Bernie to relax, without the worry that Serena was ogling her.

And actually, the reason she'd suggested helping Bernie to have a bath wasn't sexual. Not at all. She wanted to take care of her, no, not wanted. Needed. There was a dull ache in her chest because she knew Bernie was uncomfortable and in pain. Anything she could do to help, would ease that ache. She'd have done anything.

She tried to think about her journey from AAU to the ED yesterday morning and realised she couldn't remember it. She didn't even remember talking to whoever happened to be on the front desk. She just remembered pulling back the curtain, the wave of relief and then the fresh wave of concern that swept over her.

“Hey,” Bernie whispered, moving her broken arm in Serena's direction as more of a gesture than a real attempt to touch her. Serena smiled shyly, caught in her thoughts.

“M’okay,” Serena mumbled then cleared her throat. “How's the temperature?” she asked, head tilted in affection.

“Lovely,” Bernie said, reaching a wet hand to rub her neck.

“Ready for some shampoo?” Bernie nodded.

“Mind my cast,” she said, sitting up and resting her good arm forward on her knees.

“Of course.”

“I really don't want to have it re-plastered.”

Serena took the jug and dunked it into the bath water. Bernie rested her forehead against her forearm, shielding her eyes, her hair swinging forwards. Serena poured warm water over the blonde curls, drenching her and causing a few chuckles to emanate from the dropped head. She repeated the motion, thoroughly wetting Bernie's hair. She set the jug on the side, brought her hands up to rub at Bernie's scalp a bit, causing the blonde to sigh.

Serena stopped and swallowed. She hadn't forgotten about Bernie's … appreciation of having her hair played with. She just hadn't expected it to appear tonight. She pursed her lips, but smiled when Bernie lifted her head a bit to question with her eyes. Serena reached to take some shampoo from the side of the bath and decant it into a hand, before kneeling on the bath mat and smoothing it through Bernie's hair. Bernie dropped her head again. She sighed again. Serena rolled her eyes. ‘Oh well,’ she thought. ‘Feeling good is feeling good.’

Using her fingertips, Serena drew little circles against Bernie's scalp, lathering up the shampoo and trying desperately not to caress. It was difficult, however, she was, by now, a relative expert in causing Bernie pleasure. And she'd never really needed to abstain from it, not at home anyhow, not since their first amorous encounter in the bedroom.

She tried to be quick and methodical and clinical about it. Bernie still sighed a bit. She used the jug to rinse Bernie's hair, making sure to get all the shampoo out. She considered. “I think you could do with … more shampoo.”

Bernie lifted her head and pushed her hair back. “Is it that bad?”

“You have a good excuse,” Serena reassured her. She narrowed her eyes a bit in thought. “Just to be sure.”

“Okay.” Bernie flopped her head back to her knees. Serena smirked a bit.

“Not that you're enjoying this at all,” Serena said quietly, teasing a bit. Bernie snorted and shook her head against her knees.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Serena pushed wet tendrils of hair back from Bernie's face as she sat up. Bernie was smiling as she leant her head back and allowed Serena to comb conditioner through her hair. She closed her eyes and leant back against the bath again, wet shoulders drawing Serena's attention, before she looked away and rinsed her hands in the bath water. “Best leave that for a while.”

“Mmm,” Bernie hummed and relaxed back again. Serena smiled fondly at her.

“So you … got the other gift?” Bernie peeked open an eye and smirked at Serena's shy expression.

“Yep.”

“D’you … want to watch it tonight?”

“I've read reviews,” Bernie said, closing her eyes again. “It's supposed to be a very good film. Funny. Cute.” She flicked her eyebrows up once. “It's rated 15.”

“So, it can't be that raunchy.”

“Depends what you mean by raunchy.”

“Perhaps one to watch in the bedroom?” Bernie nodded. “Laptop?”

“Well unless you want to just sit and stare at the box.” They grinned at one another. They didn't have a TV in their bedroom. “Should have got ‘If These Walls Could Talk 2’.”

Serena narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “Why?”

“If you want something raunchy…”

“I don't … particularly.” Serena blushed. “Certainly not at the moment.”

“Why not?”

“Because you're injured.”

“And?”

Serena dropped her voice to a hiss. “I thought you said you couldn't do … it … left-handed?”

“Who says I need to be doing anything?” Serena's eyebrows hit her hairline. “Anyway,” she continued, changing the subject. “I think I'm conditioned enough.”

Serena rinsed the conditioner from Bernie's hair, carding her fingers through to make sure the water ran clear. She tucked wet hair behind Bernie's ears and reached for the flannel. “It's okay, I think I can take over from here.” Serena nodded and left the bathroom giving strict instructions for Bernie to shout if she needed anything.

Padding into the bedroom, Serena hunted for the new film she'd ordered and found it under Bernie's pillow. She turned the box over to read the back. Her eyes widened a bit as she reads words like ‘sensual’, ‘Safer Sex With Latex workshops’, and ‘stash of sex toys’. She blinked a few times and thought ‘well, perhaps it will be a distraction from the pain in her arm’.

Bernie came in whilst Serena was still staring at the DVD box. She chuckled, shaking her head, her towel wrapped around her. “You really want to watch it?”

“Only if you do,” Serena replied. “I'm assuming you've read the description?”

“Yeah. Also erm … a friend saw it and told me it was a good film.” Bernie wouldn't meet her eye and the comment was just that little bit too casual.

“A friend … Alex?” Serena asked gently. Bernie nodded. “It's okay.”

Bernie sighed, smiled at her. “I'm sorry.” Serena shook her head.

“She's as much a part of your history as Marcus. More perhaps.” Serena gestured with the box. “We can always save it for another time.”

“I'd like to watch it,” Bernie reassured her. “As you went to the trouble of buying it.”

“Okay,” Serena said with a toothy shy grin. “I'll just get my laptop.”

After climbing into pyjamas and then climbing into bed, Serena turned on her laptop and settled it between them. She put the disk in and started the film. She snuggled her nose into Bernie's shoulder, kissing a little just under her ear.

They giggled at the beginning and shared an affectionate look when the two main characters met one another properly. Serena raised her eyebrows when Kim invited Maggie back to her van (“they've known each other five seconds!”), and they laughed when the van got towed.

Serena wiggled a bit when Bernie's left hand slid to rest against her thigh. She gave her a look. Bernie just smiled at her.

Serena inhaled deeply when Maggie and Kim started painting each other, pressing their nude bodies against a large sheet in an attempt to make art, and Bernie's thumb began smoothing against the inside of her thigh. They cackled again when Maggie’s mother knocked on the door whilst the two young women were showering together.

“What d’you think your mother would have thought of me?” Bernie asked, her hand stilling on Serena's thigh. Serena shrugged.

“I don't know. I'd hope she'd like you.”

“What would she think about the whole … gay thing?”

“She was always supportive of minorities. My life choices, however, not so much.” Another humorous few moments and they were chuckling. And then Maggie and Kim were in their underwear sharing a sofa and kissing and Bernie's hand started up again, making Serena reach down to catch her hand. “Stop it,” she hissed.

“Why?” Bernie's eyes were dark.

“Because you have a head injury.” Serena bit her lip and felt the warmth between her legs as they watched the two young lovers writhing against one another.

The squeaky noises Maggie made on the laptop screen whilst Kim touched her made Bernie grin. “Who does that remind me of?” she whispered.

“Shush, I'm watching,” Serena said, but Bernie didn't miss the blush.

“Don't you have that shirt?” Bernie asked when Judy visited Maggie’s mum with flowers. Bernie got a light slap on the shoulder for her trouble, before they both chuckled at the interactions onscreen. They continued to chuckle at the brisk Frances and her conversation with the man at Customs. Especially the comment about Mozart.

When Maggie and Kim unveiled the frozen book artwork, Serena pointed at the bisexual character in the yellow glasses. “Why does that young woman think she's Bono?” Bernie snickered and disentangled their fingers, slid an arm round Serena's shoulders, squeezed her a bit.

“Now that's a woman who knows what she wants,” Serena commented when Maggie's mum sent the other candidate for a job she was applying for herself.

“Is she taking drugs?” Bernie asked, completely serious, horrified at the woman on screen taking something out of a small piece of foil. Serena raised an eyebrow.

“I think … it's chocolate.”

“Oh.” This theory was confirmed in the next scene. They chuckled some more at Maggie's mum explaining the likelihood of having sex after the age of forty. “Well there you go,” Serena said.

“We must be doing it wrong,” Bernie replied, kissing Serena's cheek. Serena giggled softly.

Serena put a palm over her face when Maggie's mother brought Maggie out a stuffed animal. Bernie chuckled and squeezed her. When the scrabble board, containing various sex-related words, appeared on the screen, they both snickered. “Well that's spoilt scrabble night for me…” Bernie said.

“I wonder how many of those words we could manage to get past Jason without him cottoning on.”

“Sounds like a challenge,” Bernie said with raised eyebrows.

When they came to the club toilets scene and Kim started pushing Maggie down her body, Serena shifted uncomfortably again, but her blushes soon became giggles as the people outside the bathroom stall gave the couple a round of applause. “That's something we've never done,” Bernie admitted.

“And something I do not plan on doing,” Serena said, eyeing her. “D’you know how unhygienic those places are?”

When Judy started to sing ‘I'm not A Fucking Drag Queen,’ Bernie blinked. “Oh.”

“You didn't realise she was a man?” Bernie shook her head and Serena laughed. “Oh my lovely innocent army medic.”

Five minutes later. “Does that woman just walk around carrying butt plugs?” Bernie asked, horrified.

Serena tensed when the evil woman in the bathroom started verbally abusing the lovely Judy. Bernie rubbed her shoulder in what she hoped was a comforting gesture. When Kim grabbed the evil woman in a pretty good restraint, Serena smiled up at Bernie. “She reminds me of you.”

“She's about thirty years younger than me.”

“Kind of … butch but not … not unfeminine.”

A moment later Maggie's mother was discovering various sex toys from a box under Maggie's borrowed bed. Both Bernie and Serena raised their eyes at one another as Maggie's mother swapped her chocolate for a pink battery-powered item.

As Carla and Maggie's brother started getting it on, and Maggie's mother giggled like a horny hyena whilst the buzzing sound of her battery-powered friend punctuated her giggles, Serena cleared her throat. “This … this film has a good soundtrack, don't you think?”

“Oh um yes. Good soundtrack.”

When Judy and the uncomfortable Frances arrived together at Frances’s apartment, the nervous tension palpable, Serena grinned at Bernie. “Weird. I remember feeling a bit like that after our first kiss.”

“Yep.” They both chuckled at the remainder of the scene. The looks between the two characters, the nervous exchanges. And then at the next scene, Maggie's mother frantically searching for batteries.

Snorted laughter accompanied Maggie and Kim being discovered half dressed together by Maggie's mother, and the subsequent conversation about the box of sex toys. “Why would you tell your daughter that!?” Serena laughed and put a hand to her mouth. Bernie laughed with her.

A few minutes passed in quiet comfortable silence. Then with the scene where Maggie's mother realised Judy is a transsexual and Serena poked Bernie in the side. “Someone who's more clueless than you.”

“Shush, I'm watching.”

Serena tensed again when the thugs started shouting at Maggie, who had created an ‘Obscene Lesbian Pervert’ window display whilst wearing nothing but two signs. In the drama that followed, Serena snuggled against Bernie's neck again.

They both jumped when the café next door exploded.

The last few minutes of the film were a definite relaxed conclusion and both women relaxed, chuckled a bit when Maggie's mother realised Frances was a woman. Kim turned up again in her van and everyone reunited in the epitome of a happy ending. Bernie kissed Serena's jaw, love shining in her eyes. “Aw,” Serena murmured.

“Cute ending.”

As the epilogue and credits rolled, Serena felt Bernie yawn, looked up at her. “Aw. Tired?”

“Yeah. Long hard day of doing absolutely nothing.”

Serena sat up from Bernie's one-armed embrace, took the disk out of the laptop and placed it back in the case. “Time for sleep then.” She lifted her laptop onto the floor and switched off the lamp by her side of the bed.

Bernie dropped off fairly quickly, in the same position they had slept the night before. Serena found she had difficulty. The heat between her legs was uncomfortable. She tried to think about mundane subjects: trees, flowers, fluorescent lighting.

She sighed and shifted, trying to press her thighs together without disturbing the beautiful but broken blonde in front of her. Sleep evaded her. She swallowed, closed her eyes and huffed quietly to herself. This was insane. What did she do before they were together and she was horny?

‘Easy answer, Campbell,’ she thought, rolling her eyes. But she couldn't do that. Bernie was asleep and Bernie needed her sleep. She might wake up later, as she had last night. And, also, that wasn't something they'd even discussed.

She was fine. She could wait six weeks. No problem.

 


	11. Nothing Comes From Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well I've officially run out of useable lines from 'Favourite Things' so I've moved onto other songs from the same film. 
> 
> Subsequent chapters will follow same pattern. 
> 
> A lot of people commented they didn't think Serena could manage 6 weeks. I figured she couldn't manage 2.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Two weeks after her accident, Bernie finished watching The Big Bang Theory. She switched over to one of Jason's box sets, a historical documentary about the Victorians. Then she started on Downton Abbey, one of Serena's. That took a while. She needed the distraction.

Something had changed between them. It had been subtle, and at first she just assumed it was Serena being careful with her, chivalrous even, to her current state of incapacity. But the last few days, when she'd come home from work, meeting Bernie who craved some affection, she'd barely offered a kiss. Yesterday she hadn't touched her once.

Bernie tried to push the thoughts away, and the accompanying tears. She'd either done something wrong, or Serena no longer found her attractive. ‘How could anyone?’ Bernie thought bitterly, considering her arm, lovingly decorated by Jason last week. ‘Look at me.’

She worried. She shivered a bit. She should move out, find a flat or something. She should just leave whilst Serena was at work, make it easier on them both.

She inhaled deeply and shook her head hard. That was the old Bernie. ‘Pull yourself together,’ she thought. Serena did love her. She knew that. And Serena made her feelings known every day. She told Bernie she loved her, even if the contact between them had dwindled. She'd go back to work next week, then things would get back to normal. She could start repaying Serena for the care she'd given her. Start doing some work, type up some reports.

A text came through. Cameron. She smiled, but the smile dropped when she opened it.

Serena just made called me a juvenile half-wit. Everything ok? Xx

Bernie sighed and rolled her eyes, quickly sending a reply.

What did you do? Xx

May have missed a critical diagnosis. But still. Bit harsh. Xx

Talk to Raf. Take a break. Buy her a coffee. Xx

Bernie put her phone back on the arm of the sofa. Turned back to Downton Abbey. She settled into the story, feeling her body relax. She lost herself a bit in the seemingly complicated but utterly rosy storylines. Why couldn't life be all parties and dancing?

She jumped when her phone buzzed repeatedly, indicating someone calling her rather than just a text. She idly wondered who it was. No one rang her really, except for Charlotte on occasion. She stared at her phone, paused Downton Abbey and picked up. “Yep?”

“Bernie?”

“Hi Raf,” she exclaimed, genuinely happy to hear his voice. “How're things?”

“Not great.”

“What's up?” She shifted to hold the phone against her left ear with her good hand.

“It's Serena.” Bernie faltered.

“What is it?” she asked quietly.

“Oh she's okay. Well she's not. She just seems …”

“Spit it out.”

“She's just … she’s being very difficult. Angry at everyone.” He sounded apologetic. “I'm sorry. I wouldn't usually call. But she's been like it for days. When I ask she says she's fine. Everyone's giving her a wide birth.” He cleared his threat nervously. “Is everything okay at home?”

Bernie considered lying, telling him that everything was fine. But he's been great, covering for her for two weeks, coming over on his days off, with the kids, cheering her up. He was their friend. And he had known Serena longer than Bernie had. He'd obviously noticed. She didn't realise it had filtered into Serena's work too.

“I … I'm not sure. She's been a bit … distant.”

“Have you spoken to her?”

“No,” Bernie admitted.

“You guys, seriously.” Bernie chuckled despite herself. “Will you please talk to her?”

“I'll try,” Bernie promised. There was a pause. Muffled shouting. A rustling of the phone as Raf put it back to his ear.

“I'm sending her home,” he told her, his voice frustrated. “She's just bitten the head off one of our new nurses.”

“Great,” Bernie moaned. “Tell her I'll see her in a bit. And tell Cameron not to worry. I'll sort it.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Forty minutes later the front door opened. Bernie stayed where she was, on the couch. She listened as Serena stood for a moment, then rustling as she took her coat off, slipped off her shoes. Padding through the hallway into the kitchen. A breath of relief as she found the glass of red, already poured, ready and waiting for her. She brought it into the living room, sunk heavily into the sofa next to Bernie.

Eyes trailing over her face in concern, Bernie was very glad that Jason was away at Alan's for a few nights. Serena looked dead beat, dark circles under her eyes, face drawn, eyes a bit red. Had she been crying? Bernie inhaled deeply, about to say something. She she didn't really know what to say though. “Thank you,” Serena broke the silence, holding up the glass and taking a large sip. “I really needed this today.” Bernie reached to hold her hand and Serena let her, throwing her a soft gaze.

“Raf phoned,” Bernie started, assuming honesty was best at a time like this, and wanting to start from the beginning. “And Cam text me.” Serena stared into her glass for a moment.

“Ah.”

“Mmm.” Bernie swallowed. “What's going on?” Serena laughed a bit, gesturing with the glass.

“I just …” When she lifted her gaze to Bernie there were fresh tears in her eyes. She shook her head, bottom lip wobbling a bit. Bernie's heart burned and she pulled Serena towards her. “He's told me not to come back in until … what were his words? Until I can ‘walk through the ward without looking like I'm going to kill someone’.” Serena relented, resting her cheek against Bernie's shoulder.

“What's the matter with you?” Bernie asked, rubbing her back and resting her cast gently against Serena's shoulder. “You've been odd for days.”

“I'm not … not entirely sure.”

“You've been off with me. I mean really off.” Bernie pulled back and stroked her cheek. “Like you don't … you're not interested. Anymore.”

Serena's eyes filled properly with tears and she slowly shook her head in concern. “Oh Bernie …” She sobbed then, leaning to rest her forehead against Bernie's, hand up to her jaw. “Don't you ever … bloody think that.”

“You've literally not kissed me for days.”

“I've been so … so stupid.”

“So … what?” Serena sat back, sipped some more at her wine. “I thought you'd gone off me. Or I'd done something idiotic or …” Serena huffed and stood, hand on the back of her neck in a frustrated and anxious gesture. She gestured with the glass now only half full of wine. Bernie stood with her but kept her distance, allowed her the freedom to think.

“It's nothing to do with anything you've done, I promise.” Serena put her hand to her temple, pinched the ridge of her nose. She put the wine glass shakily onto the coffee table.

“At work then? Has … has something happened?”

“No. Well nothing out of the ordinary.” Serena shrugged, hid behind the hand now over her eyes. Bernie shrugged, the arm encased in the cast now being used as an actual arm, she could move it without much pain. She splayed her hands, pursed her lips.

“What then?”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know?” There was a tinge of disbelief in Bernie's voice. Serena eyed her, warily.

“I …”

“Serena. You are one of the most … insightful people I know. You don't have issues identifying … or expressing … your feelings usually.” Serena wiped a tear from her own face, thumbed under her eyes where more gathered.

“I'm … not sure.” Her voice was a whisper. Bernie's heart scalded her, and her eyes showed it. She pressed her hand to her chest. Serena noticed and reached for her. “I'm sure … a few days off …”

“No,” Bernie said, emphatically, shaking her head. “I promised Raf I'd sort this. Help you sort it.” Bernie wrapped her arms around Serena's shoulders and allowed her hand to smooth the cotton at her shoulder. “You can't go round being a dragon at work. That's just not you.” Serena swallowed, eyes so sorrowful, so guilty.

“I'm sorry.”

“It's not me you need to apologise to.”

“For … being distant.”

Bernie took her hands (difficult with the cast on but she managed it), led her back to the sofa. They sat, facing each other. Serena looked down and watched their fingers interlacing and caressing. She sniffed. She looked to one side, embarrassment in her eyes.

And Bernie knew that Serena knew what was wrong. She didn't push her, kept her mouth shut tight whilst Serena gathered up the strength to begin talking. Serena continued to caress Bernie's fingers, snuck a fingertip under the cast to tickle Bernie's knuckles. Bernie smiled softly at her, before squeezing her hands in encouragement.

Serena nodded, once. A decision. She inhaled deeply. “It started the night after the day you had your accident.” Bernie nodded, keeping quiet. Serena looked at her and blushed. “That lovely film. Seemed like a terribly good idea at the time. I don't know if it was a catalyst or simply somewhat of a coincidence but …” she sighed sadly. “I've not been able to sleep for the last two weeks. Well, not much.”

Bernie turned her head to the side, pushed down her eyebrows in confusion. “Why?” she breathed.

“I've just …” Serena blushed and her gaze dropped to their hands again. “Every time I lie back in bed with you, I feel … and it's been … I've not been able to …”

“Nightmares?” Bernie asked, concerned, although she couldn't imagine what kind of nightmares the sickly-sweet film could have caused. Serena laughed a bit through her tears and lifted her gaze to Bernie's.

“No,” she said, “not nightmares.”

“Then what? What's keeping you from sleeping?” Serena looked deeply at her, raised her eyebrows a bit. Bernie shook her head. “What?”

“I've been overwhelmingly turned on,” Serena said in one big rush. “Every single night.” Bernie blinked. Serena kept her gaze, eyes imploring Bernie to react, to say something. Bernie pressed her lips together. Her eyes went wide. “It's not funny.”

“No. It's definitely not,” Bernie managed, gripping Serena's hands to stop herself falling off the sofa and rolling around on the floor laughing.

“I've been in agony.”

“Why didn't you wake me … oh.” Mirth flew from Bernie's face.

“It's not your fault,” Serena said quickly, smiling affectionately at her. “I didn't want to bother you with it.”

“You could have just talked to me,” Bernie said, thumbs smoothing against the back of Serena's hands.

“By the time it became a problem you were … you were in so much pain and I didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping so well.”

“You weren't though,” Bernie said, a bit amused by her own next words, like their roles had reversed. “We’re supposed to be a team.” She smiled a bit lopsidedly, shyly. “And usually it's me hiding things from you, not the other way around.”

“You just always looked so content. I couldn't bring myself to wake you. Especially for something as trivial as hormones.”

“Hormones aren't trivial. I happen to like your hormones.” They smiled shyly at one another. “So, let me get this right. You’ve had absolutely no sleep for two whole weeks?” Serena shook her head.

“And you know how much I value my beauty sleep.” Bernie reached up to touch Serena's face, thumb her cheekbone.

“Well this is a sorry state of affairs.”

“Yep,” Serena replied, miserably. “With no real solution … unless.” She took Bernie's left hand in her own, kissed the fingers. She inhaled deeply and sighed, eyes imploring.

“I … I'll try.” Bernie looked resignedly at her. “I'll warn you though. I've … tried before with … and it's…” She shook her head.

“Okay,” Serena breathed, feeling a little more positive. “What about ..” She reached to touch Bernie's bottom lip. Bernie smiled and kissed her fingertip.

“We tried that,” she whispered, smiling a bit, eyes gentle. “You said you didn't…”

Serena sighed, shaking her head. “I'm picking at straws here.”

“I know.” Bernie smiled, cupping her jaw and bringing their lips together. Serena pressed against her, shivering a bit. She pulled back, broke the kiss.

“Sorry.”

Bernie laughed. “You're fine. Least I know you still fancy me.”

“Yes and that's part of the problem.” Serena grinned, no solution on the horizon but just glad she was talking to Bernie about it. She felt the weight lift a little from her shoulders. They could combat anything together, couldn't they? “That's why I've been … keeping my distance.”

“Have you not tried …” Bernie leant forward and whispered into Serena's ear. “…taking matters into your own hands?”

“No,” Serena whispered back, still smiling.

“Why not?” Bernie whispered back, their eyes bright, like it was some kind of secret.

“Because.” Serena offered no other verbal explanation. She did blush however, and flick her eyes away for a second.

“Don't be shy,” Bernie murmured. Serena sat back a bit, uncomfortable.

“I've never …” She shook her head. She clasped her hands, unclasped them.

“You must have.”

“No, that's not what I mean.” Bernie shrugged. “Not in front of anyone.”

“Seems like a perfect solution.”

“I don't know,” Serena whispered, eyeing Bernie with real anxiety and trepidation. Her heart fluttered nervously, but she calmed a bit when she saw Bernie's soft eyes.

“Perhaps we should talk about it.” Serena hesitated before nodding.

“Okay.”

“Okay. So what are you worried about?”

Serena furrowed her eyebrows and thought for a moment. Then she took Bernie's hands again. “I suppose … it's b-been a while and … the thought of doing … that … with you there …” Serena blinked a few times, blushed further. “… I wouldn't want you to think … any less of me.”

Bernie didn't try to counter Serena's thoughts, or argue with her. She accepted this was how she felt. She nodded in understanding, continued to smile softly at her.

“And I wouldn't want you to think that I needed anything besides you. For that. Because I don't.”

“Have you not … been by yourself … since ..?”

“Once,” Serena admitted. “In Scotland.” She gave Bernie a challenging look. “Come on.”

“Three times. Since we moved in together.” Bernie seemed confident, but Serena could see the shyness behind her dark eyes. This made her feel a bit better.

“All whilst I was in Scotland?” Serena teased, mock-surprise in her voice.

“Two.” Bernie chuckled, dropping her head forwards so that her hair fell in front of her face. “And once …”

“Major.”

“… you were working late. I was getting ready for bed.” Bernie lifted her head again. “I knew we wouldn't have time and … you'd be tired … so …” They giggled together, eyes shining.

“So. Tonight.” Serena chewed her lip a bit.

“These are exceptional circumstances,” Bernie reminded her. Serena nodded. “Let me put it a different way,” Bernie said, thoughtfully. “If our roles were reversed. If it was you who couldn't … perform …” Serena giggled a bit at that. “Would you think less of me for … dealing with it myself?”

“No,” Serena admitted on a relieved sigh. “Of course not.”

“What d’you think?” Bernie asked, quietly. “You can always sleep in Elinor's room for a couple of nights if you'd be more comfortable that way.” Serena smiled, squeezing Bernie's fingers. She exhaled, eyes rolling a bit.

“No thank you. I think … if you'd like … maybe we could … you could …”

“We could just make it … another night together?”

Serena exhaled through a smile and leant to kiss her, hand sliding up to the yellowish bruise that now adorned Bernie's cheekbone. They both giggled as Bernie's stomach growled.

“Fancy a takeaway?”

“Definitely,” Serena replied, kissing her once more before standing and grabbing the phone. She threw it to Bernie. “You order.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie showered carefully whilst Serena cleaned her teeth, climbed into her pyjamas and then bed. Bernie had become skilled at showering with her cast out of the water, and although it took a bit longer, it did mean Serena didn't need to help. In fact, Serena had bought a plunger/dispenser bottle for the shampoo, and another for the shower gel. These made one-handed showering a lot less stressful. Bernie's heart felt like it had warmed a few degrees when she'd brought these back from shopping a few days ago.

Serena sat with her hands over her face, willing her heart to stop thumping with vigour against her rib cage. She knew Bernie loved her and she trusted Bernie completely. And it had been naive to assume that Bernie didn't think she ever, or had ever, done this by herself.

She was so tired though. She had to admit, if she didn't do something about it soon, she was probably going to end up killing someone at work. And upsetting Bernie so much that … Serena didn't want to think about it.

Eyeing the en suite door, Serena wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her chin in her arms. She listened as the shower turned off, footsteps out of the stall. Bernie came into sight, the door half open. She grinned and gave Serena a shy wave, before towelling her hair dry. She disappeared again to clean her teeth. Serena grinned as she heard the towel drop to the floor. “Oi!”

“I’m picking it up. Kind of finding it difficult here,” Bernie called affectionately.

“Sorry,” Serena chuckled back.

When Bernie finally did emerge, hair wet and combed, Serena had calmed down a bit and smiled broadly at her. Bernie grabbed some clean underwear from her drawer and climbed into bed without pyjamas, smelling nicely of her own (boring, Bernie called it, perfect, Serena called it) deodorant and the shower gel they both used.

“No pyjamas tonight?” Serena asked, concern evident in her voice. “Do you feel hot?” Bernie raised her eyebrows. “You know what I mean,” Serena told her, reaching for her cool soft waist under the duvet.

“I don't feel hot,” Bernie said, sliding her good hand under Serena's head and shifting close to her, “but I do I fully intend on being without clothes for the evening.”

“Do you?” Serena breathed, snuggling the duvet up over her shoulder and grasping Bernie's shoulders, then the back of her neck. “Thought this was supposed to be about me?”

“Oh, it is.” Bernie kissed her then, fingers carding through the hair at the back of her head. Serena moaned and Bernie smiled against her lips. “Can't believe you've been like this for two weeks.” She reached down and carefully wrapped the fingers of her right hand round Serena's knee, tugging a bit. Serena kissed her hard as she slipped her thigh round Bernie's waist, rolling her a little closer with it.

Their lips met again and again, with no need to be quiet, and for this Bernie was grateful. She didn't want Serena to feel she needed to hold back anything. From the breathless noises Serena was making just from the kiss, she realised how much Serena needed this. And the deep sleep that would inevitably arrive afterwards, she hoped.

Serena shivered as she felt Bernie's good hand start to awkwardly unbutton her pyjama shirt. After the first one took twenty seconds, Bernie huffed caught Serena's hand. “Little help?” she breathed, her smile warm. Serena complied and Bernie's good hand went to her neck as the last button was unpopped. They kissed again and Bernie's hand slid down, palm warmly cupping Serena's breast, fingers curling. A sigh escaped Serena's lips, she drew back a bit to catch her eye.

“Bernie,” she breathed, eyes unsure. Bernie leant to press a kiss against the bridge of her nose.

“It's okay.”

“I'm just …”

“Shhh,” Bernie cooed, hand smoothing against her breast, fingertips finding the nipple, caressing in small circles until it puckered. “Close your eyes,” she whispered. “If you like.”

Serena closed her eyes and Bernie kissed her again, fingers of her right hand tickling the cotton-clad skin of her thigh. Bernie pushed her knee between Serena's and pressed the top of her thigh against Serena's centre. Serena gasped again, pressing her hips against Bernie, allowing herself finally, finally, a little relief. It had felt like an eternity. Why had she let things get so desperate?

Bernie slipped her cast-enclosed arm so that her fingers rested on Serena's hip. She tickled her there for a moment, fingers of her good hand moving to Serena's other breast beneath her open shirt, thumb sweeping across the nipple. Serena's forehead was furrowed, an expression Bernie knew of concentration and holding back. Bernie's fingers tucked between the waistband of her pyjama bottoms and Serena's soft skin. “Come on,” Bernie said as Serena hips rolled against her own thigh.

Brown eyes opened, caught Bernie's in a soft gaze. “Maybe … you could close your eyes too?”

“And miss the show?” Bernie said, very gently, sliding her good hand up to cup Serena's jaw. Serena chuckled.

“Really.”

“Of course.” Serena raised her eyebrow then, realisation creeping in.

“So, this isn't just … for me then?”

“Are you implying that I'm not going to enjoy this?” Serena blushed but grinned. “I can't imagine this being anything but …” Bernie sighed a bit. “…overwhelmingly sexy.” Serena almost huffed at her, but decided on a cheeky smile instead.

“Well in that case…” Serena rolled away, pushed her pyjamas down, kicked them over the side of the bed. She resumed her position, knee bent and thigh snug round Bernie's waist. Serena's left hand reached up into Bernie's hair and she pulled her to her for a light kiss. Then she swallowed, took a deep breath, her eyes bravely on Bernie's, and slid her own hand to rest on the small swell of her lower belly.

They were under the duvet, pulled right up over their shoulders. Bernie didn't mind – the show she was hoping for was within Serena's deep deep eyes anyway. They kissed for a while, slow smiles punctuating the kisses. Bernie felt Serena arm extend a little, felt in the pressure of her lips and the tension in her neck that her fingers had found their destination. The short sharp gasp was clarification.

Those first few moments of contact between Serena's fingertips and her wet centre coiled her like a spring. Bernie knew she was usually sensitive for those first few moments. She couldn't focus on anything else, sloppy kisses and soft moans were all she could manage. Bernie allowed her those moments, kissed her and watched her as her eyes closed in the deep pleasure she was inflicting in herself. The relief in her eyes once she opened them was like a song, a prayer. Bernie smiled at her, thumb brushing her ear. “Okay?” Bernie whispered.

“Okay,” Serena replied. Her lips were parted in a smile, hand beginning to caress in small circles. Bernie didn't care where. So long as she was finally giving in to the need for that touch. Serena drew in a shaky breath, let it out slowly. She swore on the next breath and Bernie chuckled. “What a fool,” Serena whispered, looking down at Bernie's shoulder, hips beginning to roll. Bernie tickled her hip, wished she could bend her wrist so that she could scratch at the small of Serena's back and make her shiver.

“Not a fool,” Bernie breathed back, “but I was right.”

“About what?”

“Undeniably sexy,” Bernie told her, eyes heavy-lidded, jaw slack. Serena breathed out a laugh.

“Well good.” Lips came together and Bernie slid her tongue to touch Serena's, then drew back to nip her jaw. Serena slipped her knee higher, up almost under Bernie's arm, causing a different angle for her fingers. She dropped her lips into Bernie's hair as the blonde moved down a little to bite at her shoulder. “Don't you dare leave a mark,” Serena shuddered, and sunk her left hand into her Bernie's hair as she slipped even lower to take a nipple into her mouth. She swore again and Bernie hummed a laugh against her breast.

“Aren't we the dirty talker tonight?”

Serena's breathing was deep, her hips rolling against her hand, index and middle fingers slipping lower to her entrance, thumb curling, knuckle hard against her clit. They could both hear the wet noises but Serena found she didn't care and Bernie didn't appear to be complaining. Bernie pushed her a little into her back, Serena's right thigh lifting the other side of Bernie's waist as she settle between them. She lapped with the tip of her tongue at Serena's breast and felt her shiver. She moved to her other breast, pressed so close to Serena, feeling that lovely hand against her ribs, the wetness touching her skin. Feeling each tense and release of Serena's wrist.

Serena's free hand pulled at Bernie's hair and the blonde slid back up, still resting between her strong thighs, feeling Serena's ankles against the back of her knees. Their lips touched but just for a second, before Serena moaned, hand tensing and releasing, pelvis rolling, eyes blinking open to rest on Bernie's.

“Oh my darling,” Bernie said, lips going to Serena's ear as she panted and thrust up to Bernie. “Imagine it's me.”

“It is you,” Serena gasped, feeling her clit go white hot. “It's always you.” And she stretched back, eyes rolling, a low gasp on her lips. And Bernie pressed her own hips against that wonderful hand, increasing the pressure, her own left hand at Serena's ear. She scratched Serena's hip lightly.

Serena bucked against her, the tension inside her body building and staying and staying and finally releasing into sparkling pleasure and uncontrollable shaking. Long moans and gasps left her lips.

As she came down, her hand left her sex and Serena gripped the sheet with it, feeling Bernie kissing her face all over, small words of comfort and love, worshipping her. Serena stretched out her knees, chuckling at the expected pops. Her hips did the same. She rolled to face a little away from Bernie and stretched everything. It hadn't been a position she was completely used to, knees so high and spread. She rolled back into Bernie's arms and felt her lips against her ear, the cool cast rest against her waist.

“Feel better?” Bernie murmured, trailing kisses down her neck. Serena shivered.

“Much,” she exhaled, hands reaching up to cup Bernie's jaw and bring her in for a kiss. “Thank you.”

“I barely did anything.”

“You did,” Serena pulled back to look into her eyes. “I think you deserve a treat.” She rolled over to face Bernie.

“Do I?” Bernie laughed, fingers smoothing her hair back from her forehead “You should sleep.”

“I think I have a few more minutes of energy left.” The back of Serena's hand trailed down Bernie's abdomen, knuckles grazing her navel.

“I'm okay.” Serena raised an eyebrow and slipped her fingers into Bernie's briefs. They both gasped when fingertips touched Bernie's wet sex.

“I don't think you are, my love,” Serena breathed, sliding her fingers through Bernie's folds, dipping a finger at her entrance.

“I take it back,” Bernie whispered, and obliged when Serena pulled her thigh round her waist.

“Two weeks is a long time for both of us,” Serena said, circling her fingers at Bernie's entrance, thumb coming forward. Bernie gasped and meshed their lips together, arching her back when she felt Serena's left hand smooth against her breast. She groaned against Serena's lips, hips pressing forwards. Serena thumbed her nipple in time with the circling of her fingers. Bernie shivered. “This is what I did,” Serena breathed, a shy smile blossoming in her eyes.

“Just now?”

“Exactly this. Do you like it?” She rolled her wrist and rubbed at Bernie's clit with the back of her thumb. Bernie moaned.

“Yep … yep I'd say that was …” Serena gasped herself and pressed her fingertips so they slipped inside Bernie.

“And this.” She rolled her hand in a small circle and Bernie felt it everywhere. “Open your legs wider.” Bernie complied, hips rolling with the hand inside her and against her. She wrapped her legs round Serena's waist, pulling her so close. Serena bent her knees under and between Bernie's thighs, lips trailing down her neck. Free hand coming to caress against soft skin where Bernie's thigh met her backside. Bernie began to thrust her hips slowly.

“God,” Bernie gasped, breathing coming in sharp pants. “Serena.”

“S’okay,” Serena sighed, raising her head so their lips were a hair’s width apart. Bernie's eyes closed and her head dropped forward, fingers of her good hand grasping Serena's shoulder as she shook. Serena slid her fingers right inside Bernie, feeling her walls grip and spasm as Bernie moaned, and came hard. Thighs squeezed her waist, arms wrapped round Serena's shoulders as she jolted against Serena's hand.

When Bernie had relaxed, Serena started pulling away, but Bernie murmured her discomfort, tensed her arms and legs to stop her moving. “Just stay. Just a minute,” she breathed, arms loosening, eyes still closed. Serena kept her right hand still, but tickled Bernie's neck with the other, until Bernie came back to herself.

Huffing out a happy sigh, eyes shuttered, Bernie smiled slowly and kissed Serena, lips against lips. Happy breaths of air between them, relaxed smiles on both their faces. Serena gave her a questioning eyebrow raise and Bernie nodded, hissing a bit as Serena withdrew and subtly wiped her hand on her own thigh. “Beautiful,” Serena whispered, kissing the side of her nose. “I've missed that.”

“Mmm. Yep.” They chuckled together and snuggled comfortably and didn't move the entire night. Bernie watched Serena fall asleep, and, relief and satisfaction flooding her heart, she followed close behind.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie woke up naked and happy, a leg trapped between Serena's and her arm under Serena's head. The brunette was still fast asleep, audibly breathing but not quite snoring. Bernie carefully checked the clock and smiled warmly to herself. They had a while before they needed to even think about getting up.

After a while, which Bernie spent reliving various moments from last night: how Serena's face had lit up at that first touch of her own hand, the relief in her eyes, how she'd moaned so hard when she'd come – after all of this and a building heat between Bernie's legs, Serena began to stir.

Without even opening her eyes, Serena pulled Bernie close with her arms and legs, her nose and lips pressing against the skin of her shoulder. A slow smile spread across her face, her eyes opened, languidly, and Bernie knew she was remembering too. Bernie had to laugh a bit. Serena's throaty chuckled joined her and lips and tongue caressed at Bernie's neck.

“You'd better be going somewhere with that, Campbell,” Bernie murmured. Serena didn't say a word. She simply slipped a hand between them and touched Bernie so lightly, almost a whisper, fingertips sliding between her legs and then out again. Bernie stretched, rolling onto her back, good arm bending above her head, fingers touching the headboard. A flush crept down her neck and chest. She inhaled and let out a calm but shaky breath. “Twice in twenty-four hours. Not got anything better to do?”

“Shhh,” Serena breathed, eyes still closed. “And relax.”

“Oh. Right,” Bernie replied, closing her own eyes as Serena's other hand brushed her hair behind her ear. “Sure.”

“Go back to sleep,” Serena murmured, hand a little more insistent. Bernie allowed her legs to fall open.

“Okay.” She inhaled deeply as the position of her legs opened her centre to Serena's hand, a fingertip brushing her clit featherlight.

Serena smirked to herself at the wetness she found. Morning sex had never been her thing previously. And even with Bernie so far, it hadn't been something that regularly happened. With work and Jason wanting breakfast and various other issues, they always seemed to end their morning cuddle with a light kiss and a promise for more later. And, of course, the last two weeks had been non-existent, regarding sex of any kind.

She lightly and slowly touched Bernie, brushing her clit once or twice, almost nonchalantly. She moved her hand away a little, tickled circles by Bernie's navel. Then down again, that soft hair, outer lips, then inner lips smoothed a little, more pressure this time. Bernie sighed and she smirked again as she felt Bernie holding back from moving.

Serena lay on her side, left hand touching Bernie (because she could, she realised, not that Bernie had noticed). Her right hand slid up her own midline, fingers tickling her own skin. This was going to be slow. They had time. Could she?

She shifted her top knee to rest her thigh against Bernie's hip, lips sneaking by her ear. She kissed under her ear, so softly, breathing slowly but deeply, right hand slipping up to tentatively touch her own breast. She tried to make it relaxed, tried not to worry too much about what it meant, perhaps Bernie wouldn't cotton on. Perhaps that would be half the fun.

Serena's left hand brushed Bernie's clit again and she felt a new wetness coat her fingers. Bernie sighed. Serena felt her own sex grow warm, and touched her own nipple gently. Slow. Had to be slow.

Blonde hair splayed on the pillows, Bernie was faintly aware of Serena's fingertip, so gentle, right at the tip of that tiny bundle of nerves. She swallowed and pushed up a bit with her hips, was disappointed to feel the contact remove itself. She made an annoyed noise in her throat.

“Relax,” she felt more than heard Serena's words against her neck. “Or I'll stop.”

“Right,” Bernie replied, forced herself to lay back and calm herself. She gasped, but stayed still, when the fingertip returned. Gently again.

Serena decided she may as well play the game too. It would only be fair, after all. She carefully and slowly caressed her fingers down her own body, slipped her right hand down between her legs. Stopped there, peeked an eye open to check Bernie had her eyes closed. She did. Serena's fingers curled, slowly, combing through her own hair.

Breathing deeply but quietly, and staying relaxed, Serena sunk a single fingertip between and to where she needed it. She hissed a bit, forced her hips to remain motionless. She circled, matching the speed of both hands. One against Bernie, one against her own tingling centre.

Bernie knew. She felt the back of Serena's right hand against her hip. She knew what was happening. She felt another rush of arousal sweep over her. Serena touching her as she touched herself. She wanted to move, was so used to tensing and writhing and moaning, expressing how wonderful she felt in the way her body responded to Serena's touch. The gentle circling was making her tingle, making her skin goosebump despite not being cold. She parted her legs further but left her knees down. Relaxed.

Serena could do nothing else. A second finger joined the first, the hard nub of Bernie's clit between her fingers. Caressed forward from both sides. Then back again. Back and forth. She copied the caresses against her own sex. Back and forth. Bernie moaned a bit but stayed relaxed, the only movement was her ribs expanding and contracting. Serena peeked open an eye and moaned as she watched the fingers poking out of Bernie's cast lift to Bernie's breast and tickle her own nipple.

Bernie opened her eyes and rolled her head to catch Serena's eye. Bright smiles mirrored one another, Bernie's hand flopped down to touch the top of Serena's head, smooth the hair by her ear. Their breathing became audible, chests heaving in an effort to keep their hips still. Their lips touched as Bernie lifted her head a little, a soft kiss, before Serena buried her face back in Bernie's shoulder, kissed her collarbone.

“I think …” Bernie started, clearing her throat from sleep and arousal before continuing. “I’m going to have a lot to make up for when I get this cast off.”

“Hmmm,” Serena breathed. ‘I'm sure I can live with that.”

Bernie let out a long breath, willing her body to stay calm, the small twitches at her sex making her feel so good.

“So how are you going to …” Serena swallowed, gasped a bit. “… make it up to me?”

“Ha. Well.” Bernie eyed her, a little unsure. “Maybe I could ‘help’ you have a bath.” If she'd had a hand free she would have bent two fingers of each hand in the air to emphasise. Serena felt her own clit blossoming, getting harder between her fingers. She started circling with both hands again, the difference in pressure making them both hitch their breathing.

“’Help’ me, hmm?”

“Yep,” Bernie said, voice low. “Maybe I could make those drop pancakes you like. With ice cream.”

“Mmm,” Serena moaned, half at the way her fingers felt, half at the idea of ice cream. “Chocolate.”

“Chocolate. If you like.” Bernie found herself saying, “I'd love to lick ice cream off your skin.” Serena groaned, bit Bernie's shoulder, unable to stop her hips from rolling. Bernie grinned. “Hey, that's not fair.” Serena laughed, graciously took her hand away, flexed her fingers in the air a little so Bernie could see. Bernie nodded, smiled, satisfied. “Relax,” she whispered, her free hand caressing Serena's ear. Serena rested her cheek against Bernie's shoulder again and slipped her hand back beneath the duvet.

“What else?” Serena sighed as she began small circles against her own clit again. Her hand had become cold in the few seconds she'd kept it above the covers. It made her shiver and gasp a bit. Bernie kissed her forehead.

“I’d like to take you out. I'll drive. A nice restaurant. Maybe French. Or Italian. A good bottle…” Serena raised an eyebrow. “Maybe a couple of bottles … of good wine.” Bernie's fingers tickled her own nipple again. Serena smiled.

“You could return the favour properly,” Serena mused, eyebrows flicking up once, eyes on Bernie's hand.

“How?”

“I'd like to watch you.” Serena's eyes were dark but a little uncertain.

“I think I could do that,” Bernie whispered, breath coming faster, hips still but lips parted.

Serena had to stop talking; she had neither the breath or the mental capacity to touch both of them at once, force herself to relax and hold an intelligent conversation. She started gasping in a way she never remembered doing before, over and over, tiny breathy admissions of pleasure as she felt her release brewing.

Bernie gripped the only bit of Serena she could reach, the hair at the base of her neck. She used that hand to bring Serena up to her and crush their lips together. Serena bit her bottom lip and Bernie moaned, hips starting to roll of their own accord. Serena pulled back, looked deep into Bernie's eyes, understood she had no control now, and let it happen. Both pairs of eyes closed, Serena dropped her face into the crook of Bernie's neck and all she could think was ‘don't stop don't stop don't stop’ despite the surreal knowledge that it was her that was in control of not stopping.

Bernie threw her head back and shook, silent, lips parted, breath held. She felt Serena groan into her neck and go still, and realised idly ‘God really? At the same time?’, before her mind went blank.

Shuddering in each other's arms, twitching with aftershocks and breathing laboured, they started to laugh. Simply gentle chuckles, at the bizarreness of it all, at the wonder of the thing, the fabulousness of how it felt to lie there with the one you loved. Serena managed to extricate both hands and then push up on her elbows. She slid a little over Bernie, bodies flush, and they just grinned at one another, giggles warming the air between them. Eyes so shiny. Lips teasing between giggles. Serena's arms either side of Bernie's head on the pillow, Bernie's hand at her waist under the duvet, fingers of her broken wrist reaching up to tease her hair.

“I'm gonna have to buy you a car or something. To repay you for the next four weeks.”

“Who says I'm keeping this up for the next four weeks?” Serena replied, fake-horror on her face. They laughed again, delighted in their little triumph over the obstacles of life.

“Well, it's not me that's finding it difficult to sleep,” Bernie hissed, fingers running up and down the skin of Serena's side. Serena rolled her eyes and sighed a bit, gazed down at the blonde fondly.

“Who'd have thought. You've turned me into some kind of honry devil.”

“Oh it's my fault,” Bernie said in mock-realisation.

“Of course it's your fault. Being so gorgeous all the time. How can I not?”

“Right back at ya,” Bernie said, tenderly, a little shyly. Serena returned the gaze and pressed a kiss to Bernie's nose.

“And now that that little inconvenience is sorted, we ought to get up.” Bernie parted her legs beneath Serena and pressed her down at the small of her back with her good hand.

“Just a minute more,” she whispered, tilting her chin up, asking for another kiss. Serena obliged. She obliged for a long time.

*~*~*~*~*~*


	12. Bloom And Grow Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NB Well this was going to be another angsty one but then I had some fluffy ideas and whoops fluff came out my fluff machine. 
> 
> Thanks to the Waitrose website I was able to choose a ‘horribly expensive’ bottle of wine and describe it too. 
> 
> Thanks as usual to @bigmachoITtech aka Shelly, for some help and support, even if she's not got passed ch8 yet! And to my very own BMPM.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Wednesday.

“You're not allowed to drive yet.”

“I will be, in six days.”

“And if Dr Stella says your arm is not ready for the cast to be taken off?”

Bernie raised a finger, eyes worried and head shaking. “No, we said we wouldn't say that.” She set her jaw. “It's coming off after exactly six weeks. And that's next Tuesday.”

Serena rolled her eyes at the childlike reaction of her girlfriend to her words. Bernie was desperate to get rid of the cast. To start clinical shifts again, rather than the doll-drum of admin. To drive herself and Serena places, rather than having to rely on Serena doing it and therefore her lovely kind partner forgoing a drink. To start paying Serena back for all the things she'd done for her, in and out of the bedroom.

Standing up from her desk and coming round to Bernie's side of the office, she placed a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sure it'll be fine.” Bernie nodded, pursing her lips and pushing down her eyebrows. Serena adopted a voice she usually used with children under the age of six. And she knew Bernie found comfort, rather than patronising disrespect, in the voice. “But if you're still in the cast, I'm going to be driving.”

“I wanted to get you a nice bottle of something for the meal though,” Bernie complained, opening her browser on her computer to check out pictures in TripAdviser, of the restaurant she had booked them. February the fourteenth on Tuesday. Their first one together. It looked so nice and she had wanted it to be so perfect.

“You can buy me a bottle to have when we get home.”

“I wanted to drive.”

“Would you like to wait until you know the cast is coming off? We can cancel and wait for a couple of weeks to go instead?”

“I wanted to treat you on Valentine’s Day,” Bernie sighed. Serena rubbed her shoulder.

“I know. And it's very sweet.” Bernie looked up at her, all but bottom lip out, eyes forlorn. “We’ll have plenty of opportunity to drink and be merry, once you get that cast off.”

“It will be coming off on Tuesday,” Bernie repeated, voice slightly raised. Serena blinked.

“But if it doesn't, it's perfectly okay,” Serena replied gently, giving her shoulder a squeeze.

“I'm sorry,” Bernie whispered. Serena shook her head, checking that no one was watching from outside before pressing a kiss to Bernie lips. Bernie's hands rose and followed Serena as she stepped away too quickly.

“I know you're frustrated. But these things can't be rushed.” Serena touched her cheek, before going back to her desk, starting to write up her patient notes for the day.

“Okay.” Bernie nodded once. They worked together in comfortable silence.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Thursday

Jason arrived on AAU just as Serena was coming out of theatre, still dressed in scrubs, her hair spiky from the cap she held in her hand. “I'll just be a moment getting changed, Jason, and then we’ll go.” Bernie looked up from the nurse’s station and started tidying up the patient files she'd been working on.

“Fletch, these are all complete,” Bernie said. “Anything else before we go?” She smiled at herself. She liked saying ‘we’.

“Na, Bernie, I think everything's done. Hi Jason.”

“Hi Fletch. I've got a new girlfriend.” Bernie nearly fell over the desk in surprise as she rounded it.

“That's good,” Fletch replied. “What's her name then?”

“Lisa. She has Aspergers too. She likes cats and trains and pink flowers.”

“Easy to buy for then,” Fletch replied, a pleased smile on his face. “What does she do?”

“She's at college at the moment. She's learning to look after animals.”

“Great,” Fletch replied, giving him a thumbs-up before slipping behind a curtain.

“Have you … told Serena?” Bernie asked, grabbing her bag and coat out of the open door of the office and putting them on, before folding Serena's coat and bag over her arm.

“Not yet. I will in the car.” Bernie relaxed a bit, narrowed her eyes in curiosity.

“So, is she … pretty?”

Jason laughed. “Of course she's pretty, Bernie. Otherwise she wouldn't be my girlfriend.”

“Good point.”

“Her voice is nice too. Like a robin’s chirp.”

“That's good,” Bernie said, leaning back against the nurse’s station, arms folded over Serena's things.

“I'm going to invite her for dinner on Tuesday.”

“Ah. Tuesday is Valentine's Day.”

“I know. I wanted to cook her something. Maybe a pie. Now I know how to make pies.” Bernie grinned at him and nodded.

“You do make a splendid pie,” she assured him. Lou was standing at the desk and smiling at the exchange. “We could learn some more meals if you like,” Bernie suggested. He grinned.

“I'd like that.”

Serena returned from getting changed and smiled affectionately as Bernie held her coat open for her. “Honestly,” she said shaking her head, but didn't stop smiling.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

They walked close together down the corridor with Jason striding behind them. Serena snuck her hand into the crook of Bernie's arm. They shared a shy smile. When they exited the building, the fresh February air whipping their hair about, Bernie squeezed Serena's hand with her arm and they dropped their hands to loosely scissor their fingers together. “Jason has some news,” Bernie said, amused.

“We're not actually inside the car yet,” he complained. Bernie grinned.

“Sorry, Jason.”

“I suppose it doesn't matter. Auntie Serena, I have a girlfriend.”

“Do you?” Serena explained, trying to sound pleased but failing miserably.

“Yes. And she's lovely and likes pink flowers and cats …” He frowned as he looked at her, stopping at the car and waiting to be let in. Serena unlocked the car. Bernie, amused, walked round to the passenger side. “Why do you look unhappy? Did I say something wrong?”

“Your auntie’s just worried you'll meet someone who will be unkind to you,” Bernie explained, leaning over the seat to look at him genuinely. Serena got in next to her, smiled at her. She always put things so simply for him. And read her mind so well, when had that started happening?

“Ah. Okay,” Jason said, nodding slowly in understanding. “I intend on bringing her over to our house.” Jason's eyes went wide as he realised and corrected himself. “I mean. Is it okay if I bring Lisa round to meet you and Bernie?”

Serena shook herself and smiled properly, finally. “Of course it is,” she said enthusiastically, “Jason. I'm sure she's lovely.”

“She is lovely. Although sometimes she smells like onions and that's not appealing to me. I'll have to explain that to her.” Serena put the car into gear and pulled away, glancing at Bernie with raised eyebrows.

“Usually,” Bernie explained, carefully, “girls don't like to be told they smell of onions.”

“Really? But what if she can't smell it?” Jason looked shocked.

Bernie chuckled. “I'm sure you'll find a nice way of telling her.”

“Girls do like honesty, though,” Serena mused.

“Is she the kind of girl that's likes things put to her straight?” Bernie asked, implying, but not outright asking, that she could feel similar to Jason in such circumstances.

“She is.”

“Then, go for it soldier,” Bernie told him, giving him a tight smile.

*~*~*~*~*~*

It was Friday and Serena was happily sipping a glass of wine, leaning against the counter and watching her nephew and girlfriend cook together. Bernie had given Jason a recipe for a pasta bolognaise (although Jason had wondered, horrified, how a bolognaise would help Lisa’s onion odour), and now they were going through it together.

“When you chop the garlic, make sure you crush it with the knife first. That makes it taste better.”

“Okay. Like this?”

Crunch.

“Yep, yep, that's … well that will do.”

Serena smiled warmly at them both and Bernie caught her gaze, genuine enjoyment in her expression. Serena winked at her and Bernie's smile broadened, before she explained to Jason how to scrape the garlic from the chopping board.

They decanted garlic and chopped onion into the wok, before stirring and browning, and then locating the turkey mince (“Better for you,” Serena had told them). Serena watched them from the counter and wondered idly whether Bernie had taught her own children to cook. She felt sad as she realised that Marcus had probably done that, but pleased that Bernie could fulfil this with Jason.

Bernie kept pushing her fringe out of her eyes. Serena reached and took a hair bobble from the mug by the fridge (where they kept pens and paper clips and several hair bobbles that Bernie left randomly round the house and Serena tidied up), slipping it into her wrist and waiting. Bernie huffed a few times as her hair fell in her face, pushing it roughly back with her one good hand. Serena tried not to laugh.

Bernie huffed a last time and turned to Serena, who purses her lips innocently. “Could you?” Bernie asked, giving her a frustrated but puppy-dog eyed look and sitting on one of the dining table chairs, hands in her lap. Serena smiled and came over, gathering up Bernie's hair in her hands, scraping her scalp a little too much to be completely innocent (knowing how much Bernie liked to have her hair played with), gathering the curls back into a ponytail for her. Bernie put her good hand up to her head and turned to Serena. “Thank you. It was driving me crazy.”

“No problem.” Serena put her hand on Bernie's shoulder to give it a squeeze, but Bernie caught it up in her own and kissed her fingers. They shared a soft smile. Jason stared at them.

“Bernie, I've finished chopping the peppers.”

“Right.” Bernie got up and continued their lesson.

Serena moved into the living room, settled comfortably on the sofa and stretched her legs out, fingering her wine glass. She closed her eyes and took in the heavenly aromas coming from the kitchen. Smiled contentedly at the low and gentle explanations Bernie was giving Jason, and the calm and polite questions and suggestions Jason was offering.

They never fought, not like Serena and Jason did. And even the miscommunications between Serena and her nephew had lessened, with Bernie there as a third pair of ears and a third voice to explain if Serena didn't quite manage to make Jason understand what she meant. Just another part of Bernie that Serena had fallen in love with.

Serena was a little worried, but in a deeply affectionate way, that Bernie's consultant would decide not to remove the cast next week. Decide that Bernie's arm was not healed enough. She knew how Bernie felt about the accident nearly six weeks ago. She knew how she felt about the cast on her arm and her inability to do the things she loved to do. Put her hair up. Perform surgery. Wash up the dishes. Put up shelves.

And the last four weeks had been a challenge for them. Bernie regularly got frustrated with her inability to do the work she loved to do. She'd been given strictly admin duties, which she hated, but she had at least been at work, and Serena had done everything she could to help her feel useful. Given her affectionate praise for each task completed. Bernie had even mucked in with the nurses; cleaning beds, emptying catheters, things she was unfamiliar with but that would be useful to the ward. Everyone had expressed their appreciation. Bernie had shrugged, smiled broadly and reminded everyone that she wouldn't be on light duties forever.

It had been a challenge, yes, but a bit of an eye opener as well. They'd tried things and done things in the bedroom Serena hadn't considered before. Some of them had been complete disasters, others a little more fruitful. Like the evening Bernie had finally plucked up the courage to bring a bowl of chocolate ice cream upstairs. After several days of Serena hinting that she really did think it had been a good idea of Bernie's.

Bernie had looked so fascinated by the way the melting dessert had collected in her navel, and had been so thorough at using her mouth to clean it off. And Serena had tingled all over when she'd sucked ice cream out of the little hollow by her clavicle. That tongue and those lips on her skin. Serena had pushed Bernie downwards and commented that maybe she'd like to try Bernie's lips and tongue on her *there* again, just to be sure, and then oh god right there and don't stop. And Bernie had seemed to feel a lot more pleased about being unable to use her dominant hand, as actually suddenly she didn't need it and Serena was gripping her good useless hand and gasping out her name.

Serena wasn't sure what had changed, maybe she'd just never given it a proper chance. She hadn't liked it with other lovers. Whatever. Maybe Bernie had been more dedicated, the inability for her to use her hands causing a sudden surge of skill or confidence or motivation she wouldn't usually have had. She'd certainly won points for dedication that night. Serena hadn't been sure of much at the time, she just knew that she wanted Bernie's tongue on her again.

And then Serena wanted to try with Bernie and it hadn't been perfect but God Bernie hadn't complained, in fact quite the opposite. And she had tasted so good and ‘why didn't I do this before?’ and so on. And Serena hadn't really looked at her there before, not really, not up so close, and Bernie had grinned down at her pause and the look of wonder on her face.

And Serena had slept very well, thank you very much. And she had returned to work and as far as she knew Bernie had received no more phone calls or texts from any of the AAU staff complaining about her demeanour or behaviour.

And all the new little things they'd done that weren't bedroom-related but more relationship-related. Serena putting Bernie's hair into a ponytail for her. Helping her out in the sparse makeup she instead on wearing (“want to keep myself presentable. Don't want you going off me.”), driving her everywhere, finding her a small trolley to carry patient files rather than Bernie dropping them all over the floor, as she had on her first day back.

Bernie's smile on that first day, the way she'd brought them both coffee, almost every hour, using the little cardboard trays to carry two cups in one hand.

The sizzling and boiling noises broke Serena from her slightly tingly reverie and she sat up a little straighter as Bernie rounded the sofa to sit with her. “He's getting better,” Bernie commented, positively.

“Your good influence, I'm sure,” Serena replied. She offered her own glass and Bernie’s hand cupped it and she took a sip. “Lovely isn't it?”

“Mmm. Very nice.”

“Thank you for buying it for me.”

“You're very welcome.” Jason entered and pointed to the clock on the wall.

“We have half an hour before dinner will be ready,” he stated. “I'd like to watch an episode of Countdown.”

“That's fine,” Serena told him, lifting her arm and allowing Bernie to settle against her shoulder, her hand settling against Bernie's neck. She kissed Bernie's forehead.

“Is it okay if we don't talk?” Jason asked, sitting on his sofa, turning on the TV and finding the episode. “Only … I haven't seen this one.”

“No that's … that's fine, Jason,” Bernie replied, snuggling into Serena's embrace, grabbing a cushion and placing it, as she had for the last five and a half weeks, against Serena's side so that she could lay her cast on it. She closed her eyes and smiled against the second kiss that was pressed to her forehead.

The closeness had, thankfully, returned. Serena was no longer worried that a touch or kiss from her lovely blonde medic would light a spark in her that would keep her up at night, causing serious mood issues in the morning. The spark, if it was ignited, would be quenched by either Bernie or Serena herself. With Bernie's help of course.

Serena breathed in the fragrance from the kitchen then dropped her nose to Bernie's hair and breathed in that sweet smell. She hummed a bit in her throat. Bernie squeezed her a bit with the arm around her waist, fingers poking out the cast squishing the cushion into her side. They settled for the rest of the episode, just enjoyed being in each other's arms with nowhere to be for a while.

Dinner, once Jason had proudly dished it into large bowls, was exceptional. Serena made her feelings well known. Jason beamed and announced it would be his dish of choice for Tuesday, if that was okay. Serena made him promise to do most of the prep and cooking whilst they were both still in the house. She wasn't about to risk him cutting himself or setting the house on fire.

An early night with Serena's laptop and a comedy film on DVD, they climbed into bed, sat up against the pillows. Bernie, hair wet from her shower, held up a finger and felt under her own pillow, before Serena could press play on the film. “I've got something for you,” she said, a nervous smile on her face. Serena took the envelope from her and turned it over, read her own name in very scruffy and disjointed writing.

“Right hand or left?” she asked, grinning and Bernie's subsequent laugh.

“Left. But the rest is typed.” Bernie patted her thigh and snuggled down against Serena's shoulder. “Open it.”

Serena slid her thumb under the flap and carefully peeled the envelope open. She pulled out a single piece of, relatively pretty, A4 paper, with a bold title. She read it out. “’All the ways I'm going to make it up to you’. Oh Bernie,” Serena said, eyes midway between amused and tender.

“Go on. Number one.”

“’Number one. A full back massage’. Lovely.” Serena chucked and turned to the blonde. “You know you didn't have to.”

“Did it at work. Bought nice paper. Printed it out neatly.” Bernie shrugged. “Considering how much you've looked after me.”

“Oh shut up.”

“Read the rest.” Bernie snuggled her chin against Serena's shoulder, arm with the cast on round her waist.

“Right. ‘Number two. Drive home on Valentine's Day.’”

“And I *am* going to do that.”

Serena rolled her eyes. “’Number three. Help you have a bath.’ Help me?”

“Yep.”

“If you insist.”

“I do.”

“Fine. ‘Number four. Cook you drop pancakes.’ Mmm.”

“With chocolate ice cream.”

“Not going to be good for my cholesterol, but who cares about that?” They both chuckled. “’Number five.’ Oh.” Serena leant to kiss Bernie's cheek affectionately. “’Bring you a coffee in bed.’ How sweet.”

“That's every morning, forever.”

“I'm giving up caffeine for lent.”

“Are you bugger,” Bernie exclaimed, disbelievingly. Serena laughed.

“And last but not least. ’Number six. Let you watch me.’ I assume you mean …”

“That's right,” Bernie said softly, nodding, squeezing her around the middle. “As promised.” Serena exhaled in a gentle shy laugh.

“Okay.”

“Is the list long enough?”

“Course.”

“I feel like it should be longer,” Bernie murmured, frowning down at the paper.

“You didn't need to write it at all.”

“You can tick each one off,” Bernie explained pointing at the little red boxes she'd drawn carefully in ink, next to each item listed. “Then I'll have paid off my debt.”

“You do not have a bloody debt,” Serena admonished, kindly. “When I fall and break my hip in twenty years time and you have to look after me …” They stared large-eyed at each other and small smiles of realisation played at their lips. Serena blinked back tears. “I'm so sorry.”

“No it's …” Bernie drew back and properly faced her, good hand slipping into her hair at the back of her head. “It's okay. I feel like … I know twenty years is a long time but …”

Serena just nodded, fingertip lifting to press against Bernie's lips. “Who knows?”

“I would like to … grow old with you.” Bernie's admission was heart felt and honest. Serena felt her chest warm at the words, and at the realisation that Bernie was able to say this to her, and that she felt the same.

“Hmmm.” Serena smiled through her tears and blinked them away for good. She allowed herself to be pulled into a smiling kiss. After they broke apart, Serena took the list and replaced it into the envelope. “I'll keep it right here.” She stood it up on her bedside table, against the lamp.

“Remember to use the tick boxes.”

“Okay.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The weekend was spent doing all the domestic jobs involved in keeping a relatively large house as clean as possible. Cathy was on holiday that week, but Serena relished in the fact that she could take charge for a weekend over the cleaning. Bernie relished in the fact that she could be ordered about by the brunette.

Serena spent some of it out in the garden, tidying up from frost damage, pulling out things that hadn't quite made it and replacing dead things with early spring bedding plants.

Bernie, who was supposed to be dusting thoroughly, including the picture frames and all the lampshades (with the spray polish tucked into the large pocket of her grey jogging bottoms), found herself gazing through the conservatory windows at the stooped body of her lovely gardening girlfriend.

Bernie had promised to do some heavy duty work outside once the cast was off (why hadn't she added it to the list?) so currently Serena was knelt by the border, trowel and small fork in hand. She seemed to realise she was being watched and turned towards the windows. Bernie fleetingly considered feigning innocence, but left it too late to duck out of her line of sight, preferring to give Serena a cocky smile instead. She brandished the duster in the air and watched as Serena chuckled, breath misting in the cool air.

Bernie looked around the little used conservatory and set about dusting the long sill around the low brick wall. Serena had explained that she simply couldn't be bothered to heat it in the winter, but that once the spring flowers emerged, they could sit on the wicker furniture, cups of tea in hand, and watch the birds. Apparently it was Serena favourite way to listen to the Archers on a Sunday morning.

Bernie looked forward to that.

Sunday evening was filled with roast pork, crispy potatoes, various vegetables and gravy, and a hearty apple crumble for pudding. Bernie stole crackling from the plate before Serena had even finished carving and jumped away when the brunette came at her with the carving fork.

Jason was sitting at the kitchen table wth his laptop, typing up a preferred and easily understood version of the bolognaise they'd made during the week, perfecting each step with his pedantic ability. Bernie didn't mind. The recipe was for him to use and no one else. And she knew how important it was to get something right for the girl you're interested in.

He'd chattered non-stop about her the last couple of days and Bernie felt she knew more about the girl than she should before properly meeting her. Her mother was a nurse and worked at St James’s, her father was in business. She had a brother who was a lot younger than her and sometimes she looked after him after he got home from school.

Bernie swiped another piece of crackling from the small plate next to the sink and Serena smacked her with the tea towel. “Save some for the rest of us.”

“I can't help it. You make the best crackling in the entire world.”

“You must learn to share, Ms Wolfe.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Tuesday morning; Serena rolled over at six wondering what all the commotion was about. She blinked open her eyes to see Bernie pulling on her socks, already fully dressed. “What are you doing?” Serena asked, voice gravelly from sleep and annoyed at having been woken up before her alarm.

“Today's the day,” Bernie hissed, gesturing with her right arm where the cast still sat, covered in now-faint drawings from Jason's attempt at artistic decoration.

“I know, but Christ Bernie. You're not being seen until nine.”

“Had to get up. Couldn't sleep. Hungry.” Serena chuckled as Bernie left the room and padded downstairs. ‘Well, I'm awake now,’ Serena mused, rolling out of bed and washing her face before pulling on her dressing gown and following Bernie downstairs.

She discovered Bernie making four slices of toast, peanut butter already unlidded, knife at the ready. “Well aren't we full of the joys of spring?” Serena commented wryly, heading for the kettle. She flicked it on and turned back to Bernie. Bernie was grinning like an idiot, trailing her gaze up and down Serena, from her bed-spiked hair to the fluffy slippers on her feet. “What?”

“Just … you're so lovely.”

“Have you been drinking?” Serena asked, teasingly, squinted smile on her face. Bernie laughed, placing the knife on the counter before striding to Serena and sliding her arms round her neck.

“Happy Valentine's Day,” Bernie said slowly. Serena huffed out a laugh.

“Is it? I barely remembered.” She slipped a hand into the pocket of her robe and cheekily brought out an envelope. She grinned broadly and Bernie’s eyes lit up.

“I … It's just out …” Bernie broke away and went out into the hallway to her bag. She returned with a similar envelope.

“I tell you what,” Serena said as they exchanged cards and began opening them, “it was a damn pain in the arse trying to find one that didn't involve ‘husbands’ or ‘boyfriends’.”

“I know. The things we endure.” Serena smiled at her, acknowledging the political issues they rarely got swept into. The didn't really talk about the gay thing. It wasn't really a gay thing to them, just a love thing. Until they had to buy Valentine’s cards for one another, apparently.

Bernie's card to Serena was red and white and had a picture of two cartoon owls with floating hearts by their heads. The handwriting on the inside was scrawled due to the cast, but Serena found this more endearing than childish. A hint at the effort Bernie had gone to writing it by hand.

Serena's card to Bernie was a print of a watercolour of a basket of blue and purple flowers, swirly script underneath that said ‘My Valentine’. It looked like it was from a craft shop, or an artist studio. Bernie felt a little disappointed at her own card to Serena. Generic and cartoony and infantile.

When she lifted her eyes to Serena and found her pressing the cartoon owls to her robe-clad chest, however, the misery left her and Bernie grinned. “You old sap,” Serena murmured. She looked down at the owls. “Which one am I supposed to be?”

“The smaller one,” Bernie replied, pointing. “Just because you're shorter.” The owls were non-gender specific. Big eyes and beaky-smiles. Tips of their wings touching as they sat on a branch together.

“Thank you,” Serena said, stepping into Bernie's arms and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Bernie flicked up her eyebrows and caught Serena's lips with hers. She turned to press her gently up against the edge of the counter.

If the toaster hadn't popped right then, Serena reckoned they'd have been late for work.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie shot off upstairs to orthopaedics before Serena had even got her coat off. She spent the next thirty minutes attempting to read emails, before giving up and coming onto the ward to sit at the nurse’s station. Raf and Fletch greeted her warmly. “Isn't Bernie getting her cast off today?” Raf asked, an attempt at nonchalance in his voice. Serena bit her lip and nodded.

“She appears to think so.”

“What you don't think Dr Stella will agree?” Serena put her forehead in her fingers.

“I've no idea.” Fletch nudged Raf and they backed off a little.

“Good luck anyway.”

When Bernie walked through the doors of AAU, arm in a tight sling, face so miserable, Serena's heart sunk. She inhaled shakily and stood from the desk, trying to express her disappointment and recognition of Bernie's pain in her expression. Bernie got to the nurse’s station and leant against the top shelf. But there was a telltale glint in her eye that she couldn't hide. The minute their eyes locked Serena opened her mouth in indignation and Bernie whipped off the sling, displaying a very much non-casted arm. “Oh you swine!” Serena batted to her, jumping round the station and chasing a delighted Bernie round the other side. Bernie laughed.

“Sorry. Couldn't resist.” She showed Serena her arm, proudly turning it this way and that, pulling the sleeve of her shirt up to show the exposed skin, a little red from where she'd washed it repeatedly (‘that's disgusting, been in a cast for six weeks!’).

“I'm so pleased,” Serena sighed, all smiles and bright eyes. She touched Bernie arm with the fingertips of both hands, examining the skin and tissue clinically and chastely. She wanted to gather Bernie up and kiss her and hold her but they were out on the ward and everyone was watching.

“Physio said it's okay to drive.”

“Wonderful.”

“And I can begin with general surgeries. Nothing involving too many fine motor skills.”

“Brilliant.” Serena dropped her hands and clasped them together, exhaled on a laugh. “Oh Bernie.”

The blonde’s eyes were shining, locked with Serena's for a good minute before Raf interrupted them. “Ah. Can I suggest you both get changed. We've got an RTC arriving in … fifteen minutes. Internal bleeding.”

“Partners in crime again?” Serena quipped as they headed towards the locker room side by side.

“Absolutely,” Bernie teased back. The door clicked behind them and Serena went over to collect fresh scrubs from the cupboard. Bernie pulled the blind on the door shut and leant against it. “Fifteen minutes hey?”

Serena looked round, shirt half unbuttoned. She cocked an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Why not?” Bernie whispered. She pressed her lips together and slid her hand blindly behind her hip to lock the door.

“Lots of reasons.” Serena stepped a bit closer. “All of them completely valid and concerning the maintenance of our professional reputations.”

“It's Valentine's Day.”

Serena stepped again towards her. “I don't think that's relevant.”

“Don't you?” Bernie looked hurt. Serena took another step. They were arms-length apart. “The door’s locked.”

“Not against the door, my love.”

“The lockers then.” And they came together almost brutally, ferociously, teeth biting and tongues sweeping and hands straying under shirts and down the back of waistbands. Bernie pushed Serena hard up against the lockers and used her newly useful right hand to trace circles against Serena's waist. Then further up, to the line of her bra. Serena grasped Bernie's head and kissed her for all she was worth, pushing her ribs out, shuddering a bit when she felt Bernie's fingers sneak into the cup of her bra and touch her nipple.

“We haven't got time,” Serena gasped.

“Mmm. Got time to touch you.” Bernie broke the kiss and grinned down at the flushed brunette she had pressed up against the locker. She circled the hard nipple beneath her fingers. Serena arched her back a bit. “Physio said it was important to do my exercises.”

“And one of those exercises involves groping me?”

“Well I may have adapted some of the ones on the sheet she gave me.” Serena let out a shaky breath and loosened the grip on Bernie's hair.

The next kiss was a little more restrained. As wonderful as this was, they knew they really didn't have time. And they knew they'd be out later, and then in again, that evening. Serena dropped her hands down to Bernie's behind, pulled their hips together. She smiled up at her. “I'm so glad you have that cast off.” Bernie raised an eyebrow. “Not just because of that. I know how horrible it's been for you.”

“And now things can get back to normal.”

“Yep. Which includes you doing some bloody work,” Serena replied, starting to unbutton Bernie's shirt. “Scrubs. Now.”

“Yes fraulein.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

It was five-thirty and Lisa was due to be dropped off by her mother at six. Jason was cooking, independently but under the watchful eye of Bernie whilst Serena got ready upstairs. Bernie had a stress ball and was manipulating it this way and that – one of the exercises her physiotherapist had given her.

“Do you think it needs more salt, Bernie?” Bernie got up from the table and took the spoon he held out to her. She tasted it.

“What'd you think?” He tasted too. He grinned.

“I think it's perfect.”

“You have good instincts. You should trust them more.” Jason nodded. Serena entered the kitchen, wearing tailored black trousers and a pale silky blouse. Bernie's eyebrows rose. “Thought you were wearing that purple dress.”

“I changed my mind. Should I change?” Bernie smiled lopsidedly.

“No. You look lovely.”

“Thank you.” Serena grinned at Bernie's grey trousers and white shirt, the same ones she wore at Charlie and Frankie’s wedding. She reached to finger the silver lotus flower at her throat. “You're wearing it.”

“Of course. I love it.”

“Are you going to brush your hair?”

“I was going to put it up.” She wiggled the fingers of her right hand. “Now that I can.”

“But you are going to brush it?”

Bernie stood and crossed the kitchen towards the door. “Yes I am going to brush it.”

“Good.” Bernie disappeared upstairs with a smile thrown over her shoulder. Serena regarded the fluffy slippers on Bernie's feet with amusement. She looked down at her own feet. “You think I should wear heels?” she asked Jason without thinking. He stared at her and shrugged.

“Are you really asking me, Auntie Serena?”

“No. I suppose not.”

“Bernie says she likes being taller than you.”

“When on earth did she say that?”

“I heard her telling Raf one day at work.” Serena came round to Jason's side, looked into the steaming wok.

“Right. That looks wonderful.”

The doorbell went and Bernie bounded down the stairs a moment later, making Serena wince at the thuds on her floor boards. Bernie opened the door and Jason went out to greet Lisa and her Mother.

“Lovely to meet you, Bernie Wolfe.”

“Rachael Jolly. Lisa's mother.”

“Mum, this is Jason.”

“Very nice to meet you, Jason.”

Serena grinned and waited for them to come into the kitchen. “Auntie Serena, this is Lisa and her mum Rachael.”

“Hi. Lovely to meet you both.” Lisa was mousey-haired and small, her mother tall and red-haired. They were both smiling.

“Are you going out?” Rachael asked, regarding their attire.

“Yes, just for dinner,” Bernie explained.

“So, you're leaving them alone?”

“Yes,” Serena said, suddenly wondering if this had been explained to Lisa's mother, and whether Lisa's mother wanted Lisa to have a chaperone. “Just for dinner. We will be back later.” Rachael nodded, but appeared unconvinced.

Jason, as usual, saved the day. “I cooked dinner for Lisa and me, and we're going to play scrabble afterwards. Bernie and Auntie Serena will be home at ten.”

“I don't mind dropping Lisa home, if you like,” Bernie offered. Rachael seemed to relax a bit.

“Okay. That's very kind. Isn't that kind, Lisa?” Lisa nodded, eyeing her mother in an embarrassed way.

“I think we should leave these youngsters to their date,” Serena said, reassuring smile in her face.

“Yeah, mum, you don't need to stay now. You can go home now.” Bernie grinned at Serena.

“Our tables booked at six-thirty … so …” Bernie said, inching towards the door.

“Right.” Rachael sighed. “Sorry. Of course. Grown adults and all that.” She followed Serena and Bernie out of the kitchen to the door. Bernie pulled her coat on and Serena slipped on her ballet pumps, then pulled her own coat on. “Going somewhere nice?”

“La Fleur. In town.”

“Goodness. That looks so fancy when I pass it.”

They left all together and Serena smiled at Lisa as she got into her car. “She seems nice,” Serena commented to Bernie after they'd shut their doors.

“Yeah. Bit clingy.” Bernie turned on the engine and put her car into gear.

“It's difficult to let go of your children sometimes.”

“Or your nephews.”

“Oh shush. I'm much better than I used to be.” Bernie pulled carefully out of the drive.

“That is true.” They drove for a while in comfortable silence, Bernie's hand straying occasionally onto Serena's thigh whilst she didn't need it. “I've missed my car,” Bernie stated after a while.

“Poor thing must have felt abandoned.”

“Amazed she started first time.” They smiled at each other briefly. Bernie cleared her throat a little. “That blouse is … really something.”

“Thank you. I bought it last week.”

“I thought it was new,” Bernie replied pleased and triumphant.

“Well done for noticing.” Serena placed her hand lightly over Bernie's on her leg, the light touch so that Bernie could move it to drive if need be. “I considered wearing the dress.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I wanted …” Serena considered for a moment and Bernie gave her the time. “I suppose I was worried. I didn't want you getting too … like I was expecting … if you didn't end up get your cast off.” She squeezed Bernie's fingers. “I'm aware of what the dress does to you.”

“That's sweet.” They both blushed, looked out of windows at the orange-tinged streets. “And I don't mind what you wear. So long as you're comfortable.” Bernie grinned a bit, still not meeting Serena's eye. “And it's easily removable.”

Serena raised an eyebrow.

When they arrived at the restaurant (Lisa was right, Serena realised, it looked very posh), the waiter took their coats and bags and showed them to their table. Small, candlelit, relatively secluded. They sat opposite one another and the waiter gave Bernie the wine list. “Oh. I already have a bottle reserved.” Serena gave her a curious look as he left them with the food menus and went to get said bottle.

“Have you?” Bernie nodded. Serena eyed her.

“Don't worry it's Shiraz.” Serena chuckled.

“That's my girl,” she whispered, reaching to take her hand. When the bottle arrived, and the waiter had poured them both a glass, Serena read the label she nearly hyperventilated. “Bernie!”.

“What?” Bernie shrugged.

“Penfolds Grange? The two-thousand and nine?”

“Yes?”

Serena lowered her voice to a hiss. “That's got to be at least four-hundred pounds a bottle.”

Bernie shrugged again, looking a little shy. “I know.”

“You shouldn't have.” Serena's eyes were so soft and imploring, Bernie had to smile.

“Happy Valentine's Day.” Serena laughed breathlessly, giving Bernie's hand a squeeze.

“You are … insane. And I love you.”

“I love you too,” Bernie said, relief in her voice. “Aren't you going to try it?”

Serena huffed a laugh. “I'm afraid to. What if it's horrible?”

“Then we send it back and get a cheap bottle of whatever plonk you'd prefer.”

When they tasted it, actually and thankfully, it was good. Fruity and dark with a hint of chocolate and spice. They clinked their glasses in relief and looked back at their menus. Serena chose an oyster fritter starter and a rosemary chicken main, Bernie chose mushroom and brie tartlets for her appetiser, and salmon, poached in black truffles for her main.

They, of course, shared affectionate glances and smiles over the table, much to the amusement and curiosity of the couple sat nearest to them. Serena sighed happily, sharing a shrug and smile with the strangers, but Bernie had her back to them. Bernie eyed her and spoke quietly. “Something more interesting to look at?”

Serena chuckled. “I think we're giving the couple behind you a romance lesson.”

“I don't know about you, but I'm not even trying.”

“Me neither.”

“Reckon we've got it down to a fine art then?”

“According to them,” Serena replied, nodding towards them.

“Wow. Never thought I was naturally that romantic.” Serena took the last bit of fritter from her fork, Bernie openly gazed at her lips. Serena smiled.

“You don't give yourself enough credit.”

When their mains came, Bernie poured Serena another glass of the terribly expensive Shiraz and moved her own wine glass away, taking the empty tumbler and filling it with iced water provided for them in a jug. “Just imagine, the minute I'm allowed to drive again, I get caught over the limit.”

“Very sensible, my love.” Bernie winked at her and tucked in to her salmon, immediately humming her approval as the food touched her tongue.

“You've got to try this.” She didn't even wait for a reply before gathering salmon flakes and a deep truffle onto her fork and leaning over the small table to offer it to the brunette. Serena opened her mouth willingly and took the forkful, enthral blossoming in her eyes as she tasted the delicious mouthful.

Bernie's eyes fixed on Serena's lips again. Pale peach lipgloss, barely any left after the food she'd already consumed. Her own mouth watered. She swallowed and flushed. Serena noticed and mischievously but subtly licked her lips, sucking her bottom lip momentarily into her mouth. Bernie dropped her gaze to her own food, fringe falling into her eyes.

Serena grinned and glanced over to their audience. The woman was smiling, but looked away as she realised she'd been caught gawking. Serena chuckled a bit and Bernie flicked her eyes to the side, questioning look on her face. Serena nodded. “I think we're being disgusting.”

“I think everyone else can mind their own business,” Bernie quipped back, good-naturedly.

Serena created the perfect mouthful of her own main course for Bernie. The blonde was a lot less teasing, but equally as appreciative of the delicious gift, when Serena held it out for her to taste. “I think we should come here every year,” Serena mused, tucking back in to her meal.

“I'd like that,” Bernie replied.

Plates cleared (and another glass of wine consumed by Serena, who's eyes, to be fair, were shining a little more than usual), and dessert menus handed out, Bernie drained her water and poured herself another. “Are you thinking chocolate or tart?” she asked, comfortably. Serena raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?” she asked, feigning shock.

“The chocolate soufflé or …” Bernie closed her mouth and narrowed her eyes. “Shut up.” They both giggled.

A commotion began over at the far end of the dining area and they both looked up. A crash sounded and then someone panicking. Bernie and Serena looked at each other for a moment, then simultaneously rolled their eyes, pushed back their chairs and stood. Someone shouted: “oh my god he's not breathing.”

“Is it too much to ask for one single evening away from work?” Serena whispered as they moved towards the voice.

“You're in luck. There are two doctors in the house,” Bernie explained, before they knelt by the man, who had fallen off his chair and was looking significantly poorly, lay across the path to the toilets.

Serena dipped her head to listen for signs of breathing whilst Bernie felt for his carotid pulse. “He's not breathing,” Serena explained. “Can someone call an ambulance please.” Someone got out their mobile and complied.

“No pulse,” Bernie said, clasping her hands over his ribs. “Commencing CPR.” She twitched her head towards her hip. “There's a resus mask on my keys, Serena.” Serena leant over the man and reached into Bernie's trouser pocket, pulled out her keys, located the small pouch and opening up the face mask, complete with valve and filter.

“Handy.” Bernie nodded, counting breathily as she continued chest compressions. Serena pressed the mask to the man’s face and began breathing for him, tilting his head back as far as she could.

They worked as a team, as always, barking the occasional order to a patron or waiter. The couple that had gawked at them for the last hour continued to gawk, with glints of respect and admiration for how well they worked together.

The ambulance arrived shortly afterwards, after Serena had swapped with Bernie, and they were both reasonably sweaty. Bernie had handed over breathing to a patron who said they were basic resus trained, and then taken a history from the man’s wife to relay to the paramedics, including a list of the medications he was on. She helped the paramedics insert a cannula and Serena took the bag-valve mask and connected it to the oxygen canister to continue squeezing air into the man's lungs, as one of the team took over chest compressions.

They shocked him twice, and gave various medications, and finally regained circulation.

The paramedic team scooped the man up and carried him out on a stretcher. Serena remained knelt on the floor, hands clasped in her lap, whilst Bernie followed them out. Serena breathed, shaking a bit from exertion, listening to Bernie offer her assistance on the way to hospital. She smiled when Bernie returned. They both looked back as they heard the sirens begin and the truck pull away from the restaurant, transporting the poorly man to a place where he could be cared for.

Bernie held out a hand to Serena and gently pulled her to her feet. She put a hand in the small of Serena's back, eyes concerned. “Okay?”

“Yeah. Fine. Just. Phew.” The manager came over.

“Thank you so much. Our first aider isn't working tonight so you saved the day.” He looked out the front of the restaurant. “D’you think he'll be okay?”

“Most out of hospital cardiac arrests don't make it,” Bernie explained as she led Serena back to their table. “But I think he should be okay. The paramedics got here quickly.”

“Oh good.” The manager held out his hand. “Please. Consider your dessert on us. And anything you need, let us know.”

“Thanks,” Bernie said, placing her hand on Serena's shoulder. “Would you mind if we just had a few minutes?”

“Of course.” He left them. Everyone else had returned to their tables, murmuring quietly. A few people sent them amazed looks, but Bernie's attention was solely on Serena. She reached to grip her hand on the table top. Serena looked up and smiled genuinely.

“I'm fine,” she reassured the blonde softly. “It's just … prehospital setting. No drugs or defib …”

Bernie nodded. “I suppose .. I'm more used to trauma out of hospital.” Serena sighed sadly.

“I felt a bit like a fish out of water,” she admitted.

“You were wonderful.”

“So were you.”

“We got him back.”

“We did.” Serena stretched her other hand over the table and held both of Bernie's between her own. “What a team, ey?”

“What a team.” They caressed fingertips over hands and shared soft smiles. Serena flapped herself with her hand a little, blowing out a breath, pulling her silk blouse away from her front.

“Why did I wear silk?”

Bernie chuckled. “Hot flush?”

“A bit.” Bernie glanced over at the dessert menus, still fallen open on the table between them.

“They do a sorbet.”

“Perfect.” When it arrived they shared one bowl and two spoons.

*~*~*~*~*~*

The wine was finished and Bernie paid the bill (which she discovered on the way out whilst looking at the receipt, had been discounted generously, including their free puddings), and the two surgeons stepped out into the cold together, hand-in-hand.

“Well, can't say I don't ever bring you somewhere exciting,” Bernie commented.

“I think I'd take relaxed and boring over CPR in a public place any day,” Serena replied. Bernie wrapped an arm round her waist and pulled her close as they walked.

“Fancy stopping for a drink somewhere?” Serena sighed but turned to Bernie, noted her gaze and smiled.

“Why not?” She pointed a finger. “Somewhere quiet though.”

“No problem.”

They went into a small traditional-looking pub, cheesy love songs on the juke box. They sat together on a small sofa, out of the way of wandering eyes, and both chose soft drinks. Bernie rested her right arm along the back of the sofa, behind Serena's shoulders. Her fingers came up to touch the soft hair at the back of Serena's head. Serena sighed and bent her head towards Bernie's touch, eyes closing sleepily. Bernie sipped her coke.

Eyes soft, Bernie simply watched Serena have a moment of silence, head resting gently against her hand. She breathed deeply for a moment, then shifted towards Serena on the sofa, sliding her arm behind her head so she could rest against her shoulder. Serena cleared her throat but kept her eyes closed. “I'm not going to sleep.”

“I know.” Bernie took her drink from her and placed it on the low table by them. She kissed Serena's forehead as she settled back with her.

After a few minutes, Serena inhaled deeply and came back to herself, smiling up at Bernie from her shoulder. “Sorry.” Bernie shook her head. “Great date I'm being.”

“Oh I don't know. I’m enjoying myself immensely,” Bernie mused, looking around a little self-consciously, before touching Serena's chin to tilt her head up towards her for a kiss. She tasted like oranges and wine. “Mmm Fanta,” Bernie murmured against her lips. Serena chuckled and kissed her back lazily, fingers coming up to touch the side of her neck.

They grinned at each other after breaking apart, rested their foreheads together. Something slow came on the juke box, Mama Cass, ‘Dream A Little Dream Of Me’. Serena reached for Bernie's fingers and interlaced them in her lap, feeling Bernie rock them a little in time with the music.

‘Stars shining bright above you  
Night breezes seem to whisper ‘I love you’  
Birds singing in the sycamore tree  
Dream a little dream of me.’

Bernie squeezed her round the shoulders and Serena let out a hummed sigh. Bernie spoke, carefully. “Would you … ever want to get married again?” she asked, quietly. She wondered if Serena had heard her – the pause before an answer was so long.

‘Say nighty-night and kiss me  
Just hold my hand and tell me you'll miss me  
While I'm alone and blue as can be  
Dream a little dream of me.’

Serena took a big breath in. “Well. Sometimes I look at what we have and think … why not? This … wonderful thing … the way I feel about you …” She lifted her head and looked up at those dark eyes, smiled. “Sometimes it takes me off guard. Makes me forget everything else, all of the crap I've gone through before. All the broken hearts and … pain.”

‘Stars fading but I linger on dear  
Still craving your kiss  
I'm longing to linger ‘til dawn dear  
Just saying this.’

Bernie leant forward to leave a gentle kiss against her cheek, then pulled back to watch her.

“But then I look at what we have and realise this works.” Serena thumbed Bernie's jawbone, where her hand still rested against her neck. “And to be honest? Marriage for me … wasn't anything like this.” Bernie breathed out a sigh of relief.

‘Sweet dreams ‘til sunbeams find you  
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you  
But in your dreams whatever they be  
Dream a little dream of me.’

Serena chuckled. “What? You weren't going to ask me?”

“No,” Bernie replied. “It's just … on occasion people hint we should get … or that I should … ask you. Or that you should ask me.” Bernie fiddled with the shoulder of Serena's jacket. “I just wanted to be sure we weren't on different pages.”

“So, are we?” Serena asked, concerned.

“Oh yes. Definitely. Same page. No question.” Bernie barked out a laugh. “Don't want to do that again and certainly not with you.” She swallowed. “What I mean is …”

Serena nodded. “I know what you mean.”

“Marriage doesn't mean … happiness. For me.” She caught Serena's gaze. “I was never really happy.” Serena nodded. “And, yes, you're right. Sometimes I feel so happy with you I forget. But then I think why would I want anything else?”

Serena grinned, cheekiness peeking through her expression. “And we've only been together a few months.”

Bernie laughed again, gentler this time. “There is that.”

“So now, if anyone asks …”

“The answer is ‘no’.”

“And a resounding ‘bugger off’.” Bernie laughed and allowed her gaze to stray down to Serena's lips, then lower still.

“That really is a very nice blouse.” Serena breathed out a laugh as Bernie's right hand slid from round her shoulders to trail a finger down her neck, then between the lapels of her jacket, down the V of her shirt. Bernie fingered the pendant at her sternum before tickling her fingertip lower.

“This one of your exercises?” Serena breathed, conscious they weren't alone, but safe in the knowledge that no one was quite close enough to notice.

“Might be,” Bernie breathed back.

“I think you'd better take me home,” Serena whispered. Bernie removed her hand, but their gazes locked for a moment. Bernie leant into her ear, breath tickling. Serena swallowed.

“I've got another exercise I want to try out.”

“Have you?” Serena murmured.

“Yep.”

“Okay.” They pulled away and both dropped their heads shyly. Bernie slid her hand into Serena's.

“Come on.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena wondered how they'd managed to get back to the car without incident, but was glad they had. It suddenly occurred to her that they had two young people at home to deal with, which meant the small promises made back at the pub would need to be put on hold for the moment. And Bernie was going to drive Lisa back home.

Luckily, Lisa and Jason had just finished their game of scrabble as they arrived home. “Was your food nice?” Lisa asked, collecting up the letter tiles and plunking them into the bag that Jason was holding open.

“It was lovely, very posh,” Serena replied, smiling at them both. “Have you had a nice time together?”

“Lisa beat me at scrabble,” Jason said, frowning. Serena's eyebrows hit her hairline.

“My goodness. Well done Lisa.” She heard Bernie chuckling from the kitchen.

“But I didn't have good letters. So that's probably why.”

“A bad workman blames his tools,” Bernie said as she entered the lounge. “What's the plan guys?”

“Well, we've finished our game. And it's after ten.” Jason turned to Lisa. “Would you like Bernie to take you home now?”

“Yes please,” Lisa replied, politely.

“Come on then,” Bernie said. She passed Serena and whispered in her ear on the way out. “I'll see you upstairs, Ms Campbell.”

Serena cleared her throat. “Yes. Lovely to meet you, Lisa.”

“Nice to meet you too.” Bernie and Lisa left. Jason grinned at his aunt.

“I'm going to assume you and Lisa had a lovely time tonight?” Serena asked.

“Apart from losing at scrabble, I had a nice time.” He shrugged. “I don't know if Lisa enjoyed herself.”

“Was she smiling during your date?”

“Yes.”

“And did you make her laugh?”

“I did.”

“Safe to say she probably enjoyed herself, Jason.”

“Good.” He stood and took the box into the hallway and put it in the unit where they kept the board games. “Did you drink lots of wine?”

“Some wine, Jason,” Serena said, amused. “Not ‘lots’.”

“But you had a nice time?”

“It was very lovely.” She smiled brightly. “Best Valentine's Day ever.”

“Good.” He looked at his watch. “It's long past my bedtime. So I'm going to bed.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Auntie Serena.”

She gave him a minute or two to get settled, tidied the lounge a little whilst she waited, then went upstairs.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie got back an hour later, having dropped Lisa off with a slightly tense mother, and spending time reassuring Rachael that they'd had a lovely time and nothing untoward had occurred (as far as she knew). She crept upstairs in her socks, slowly opened their bedroom door and felt her heart tingle as she took in the sight before her.

Serena Campbell, curled up completely naked (she assumed) under the duvet, arm stretched over Bernie's side of the bed. Fast asleep.

She smiled, carefully closed the door and moved round the bed to sit on the edge of the mattress. She reached to smooth Serena's hair back. The brunette stirred, rolled into her back, duvet slipping down a little to expose the top swell of a soft breast. “Hi,” Serena murmured, face slowly breaking into a smile as she blinked up at Bernie.

“Hi.”

“You gonna have a shower?”

“I should.” Bernie's eyes trailed gently down the pale skin before her. Serena raised an eyebrow and stretched an arm above her head, one pink nipple rising with it out of the duvet. “You are so mean,” Bernie whispered, and Serena let out a breathy chuckle, pulling the covers back up.

“I'll see you in a minute.”

“Don't start without me.”

“Like I would.” Serena folded her arms atop the duvet. “Not now you're all mended.”

Bernie jumped in the shower, and out again as quickly as she could. Brushed her teeth. Combed her hair. Dried her body. Hung her towel up.

She climbed into bed next to a very broadly smiling Serena and they grinned at each other. Then they started laughing and Bernie was overwhelmingly thankful for Jason's television, which blared out some documentary type noises from across the house. As they quietened, Serena rolled to face Bernie and took her right hand between the both of her own. “Feeling stiff at all?”

“A bit.” Bernie shrugged. “I'll definitely live.”

“I ‘spect you will.” Serena narrowed her eyes curiously. “So what was that about some exercises?”

“Oh. Yes.” Bernie pulled Serena's hand to her lips and left a kiss against her fingers. “Physiotherapy after a fracture is quite intensive.”

“Mmhmm.” Bernie's fingers reached for Serena's neck, fingertips fluttering against her skin.

“Rehabilitation can take a long time.”

“It can.” Bernie lowered her eyelashes and moved close to Serena, fingertips of her left hand joining her right against the skin of Serena's neck and shoulders.

“Need to make sure the muscles are all working properly. And build my strength back up.”

“That sounds sensible.” Serena gasped as Bernie's hands cupped her breasts, then snuck under her arms and across her back to pull them against each other.

“I've missed … being able to touch you,” Bernie whispered, their lips locking together as their legs tangled. She pushed and rolled Serena onto her back, hands smoothing up and down her sides, knee pressed against her centre. Serena smiled and broke the kiss, fingers sliding into Bernie's hair to hold her face.

They made love without breaking eye contact, gentle kisses and hot breath on each others faces. Bernie groaned as her fingers slid into Serena for the first time in weeks, marvelled at how she felt, so warm right there. So wet. Serena touched her too, they moved together, Bernie's elbow by Serena's ear holding herself up. When Bernie slipped her fingers out, intending on moving further forward Serena made a noise of complaint. “Don't.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep. Just…” Bernie slid inside her again and Serena moaned. “More,” she whispered.

“Okay.” Bernie added a finger and started up a steady rhythm. Serena's hand fell from Bernie's sex, held her hip. “It's okay,” Bernie whispered when Serena gave her a look of apology. She bent to kiss her, feeling Serena's knees lift, feet on the bed. She manoeuvred a little to settle properly between them and met the lift and fall of Serena's hips with her hand.

“Let me know if your …arm hurts or …” Serena stretched backwards and gripped the sheets. Bernie curled her fingers with each thrust. Serena breathed out her name.

“I'm fine,” Bernie sighed, smiling and bending to kiss her. Serena reached to hold her face, broke the kiss and looked deep into one another's eyes. “More?” Serena nodded. Three fingers slid inside her, curling on each draw out, hitting that sweet spot. Bernie furrowed her eyebrows, brought her thumb forward. Serena gripped her as the pad of her thumb brushed against her clit.

They kissed again, lips teasing then teeth grazing as Serena's hips moved against Bernie's hand. Bernie looked a bit unsure, eyes questioning. “This okay? I mean …”

“Shhh,” Serena cooed, the smile evident on her face. “Just like that.” Bernie nodded. Serena moaned quietly, feeling it building, the waves of pleasure starting right where Bernie's fingertips touched and curled inside her.

Bernie felt it start, felt the flutters begin around her fingers, as Serena pushed up against her, a hand trailing down her forearm and squeezing with each thrust. Serena moaned again, Bernie caught the moan with a kiss and slid hard inside her as the tremors took over and Serena went still, eyes closing. Her hand closed tight around Bernie's arm, holding her still.

The strong tensing and releasing round her fingers made Bernie smile, and she pressed kisses over Serena's cheeks and neck, marvelling at how she tasted, sweaty and heady and sweet. She curled her fingers a few times, eliciting strong aftershocks, small laughs and twitches underneath her. After a moment, Serena's grip lessened and, causing a final twitch, Bernie removed her hand and pulled the covers up and over them both.

She snuggled her cheek against Serena's chest, right arm wrapped over her tummy. Her hand drew circles against her waist as Serena calmed and stretched. Bernie pressed a kiss under her jaw. Serena bent her arm under Bernie's head and lay her palm against her back as her breathing slowed.

“It's good to be back,” Bernie said grinning and Serena laughed.

“It's good to have you back.” Serena blushed a bit. “And that was … phew.”

“I'm glad I'm keeping up my standards.” Serena laughed again, rolled them so she could sleepily lie against Bernie's shoulder, a hand trailing down her front, knuckles catching a nipple as she went.

“How's your arm?” Bernie pursed her lips, eyed Serena guiltily.

“Killing me,” she admitted after a beat.

“Oh,” Serena said, but chose not to chastise, simply slipped her fingertips up again, drawing long ovals up and down Bernie's body. “Let’s see if I can make you feel better.”

Fingertips traced words of love across Bernie's skin, round her navel, left nipple, navel again, then right nipple. Bernie arched her back and lay her hand over Serena's. Their eyes locked and Serena smiled at the dark look in Bernie's gaze. “Okay,” she whispered, hand dropping and sliding between Bernie's legs, fingers sliding either side of her clit. She circled. Bernie held her round her shoulders, reached up to touch her face.

Fingers fluttering softly against Bernie's clit, Serena felt Bernie's hips rolling and smiled. Bernie's breathing was deep. She was flushed. And then, almost too soon for Serena's liking, it was happening and Bernie was gasping out her name and gripping her shoulder and all Serena wanted to do was make her feel like this for the rest of their lives. Just like this.

Their lips touched gently as Bernie relaxed, still shaking a bit. Serena wrapped her arms round Bernie and held her close to her chest, a hand against her hair. “Don't think I could love you any more than I do right now,” Serena murmured, her eyes closing against blonde curls. Bernie sighed.

“Once I get the feeling back in my legs I'll counter that with a witty remark.” They chuckled, lay together for a while, relishing in skin against skin, hands caressing softly and sleepily. “I love you too,” Bernie whispered.

“I've got something to tick off on my list,” Serena breathed, sleepily.

“More to come.”

“Watch this space?” Bernie winked at her before settling down for sleep.

“Yep. That's right.”

*~*~*~*~*~*


	13. Somewhere In My Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone from Bernie's past comes back...

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jason had gone to bed a while ago. It was date night. They had nowhere to be tomorrow. Bernie and Serena were just finishing glasses of a relatively expensive (although these days anything under four hundred pounds was cheap) wine, sitting facing one another at opposite ends of the sofa. Eyes were shining, feet snuggling by hips. “I love that takeaway,” Serena sighed, fingers of her left hand tickling up and down Bernie's jean-clad shin. Bernie nodded.

“Perfect temperature,” Bernie replied, counting them off on her fingers, “quick delivery time.”

“And fabulous rogan josh.” Serena rubbed a hand over her middle. “I am going to need to eat lettuce for a week though.”

“Full?”

“As a hippo.” She took a joy-filled sip of wine. “Anything you fancy doing tomorrow?”

“Nice lie in. Might clean the car.” Bernie finished her wine and placed her glass on the table. “Want me to do yours?”

“If you like. Got that safer staffing report to finish for Hanssen.” Bernie frowned and slipped a hand to Serena's knee.

“Not on your day off.” Serena shrugged.

“Needs to be done. Won't take long.” Bernie nodded. “So, I forgot to ask you, how did your appraisal go?”

Bernie shrugged. “Fine. Stuff to work on of course. The usual. Discharge paperwork needs completing within sixty minutes, bla bla bla.”

“Did he mention … us?”

“Only to say we were … doing okay. Efficient as a team.” Bernie laughed a bit. “Didn't even mention … anything.”

“Good.”

“I'm surprised though,” Bernie commented, looking up at Serena under her lashes. She smiled a bit, shyly. “The way you look at me sometimes …”

“And what about the way you look at me?” Serena countered, eyebrow lifting. “All … undressing me with your eyes every minute of every day.”

“I don't look at you like that all the time,” Bernie argued, feigning offence.

“Hmm. Some of the time.”

“Only when you’re in scrubs.”

“Which is almost all of the time.” Bernie grinned, shaking her head. Serena breathed out a laugh. “So … scrubs. That's an unfortunate fetish for a surgeon.”

Bernie grimaced. “I hate that word.”

“What, ‘surgeon’?”

“No, ‘fetish’.”

Serena looked surprised. “Do you?” Bernie wrinkled her nose.

“Sounds sordid. Dirty.” Serena flicked her eyebrows up once. Bernie huffed out a laugh. “Yeah okay.”

“I can't believe we haven't had this conversation.”

“What conversation?”

“About what turns you on.”

“Apart from you?”

Serena grinned, hand squeezing Bernie's lower leg. “Well I know I do. And I know you’re partial to a nice pair of lacy stockings. And having your hair played with. Although I’m not sure that's a fetish, more of a physical response.” Serena looked puzzled for a moment.

Bernie grabbed her phone. “Here. Fetish: a sexual fixation with an inanimate object.”

“Okay then. Stockings - tick.” Serena made a tick movement in the air and then raised her glass in a toast, before draining it, placing it in the coffee table.

“Well, what about you?” Bernie asked.

“What about me?”

“Any … things you like?”

Serena considered for a moment. “Hmmm. That grey suit is rather fetching.” Bernie blushed, looked away a bit. “You asked.”

“I know, sorry.” Bernie turned back to her. “Anything else?”

“I've always …” Serena grimaced a bit. “Hmm.”

“What?”

“I think I'd … quite like to be blindfolded.” Bernie's eyes widened. “What?”

“Really?”

“Yes. What?” Serena blushed then. “What's the matter with that?”

“Nothing at all,” Bernie replied, hands in the air. “It's just …”

“What?” Serena pressed.

“It sounds … fun?” A relieved smile broke across Serena's face and she swatted at Bernie, who tried to get up but was pulled down against the back of the sofa. Serena tried desperately to get the upper hand but suddenly found herself beneath the blonde macho army medic, on her back sideways on the sofa, her wrists held in one of Bernie's hands and above her head.

“Oh right is this another of yours?” Serena asked, teasingly. Bernie loosened her grip in embarrassment, but Serena smiled, complying to keep her hands where they were, tilting her chin up to ask for a kiss.

“Not really,” Bernie replied, leaning down to capture Serena's smiling lips with her own. She pushed back up and leant on her free elbow. “Is it one of yours?”

“Being held down?” Serena whispered. Bernie nodded. “Not … maybe.”

“That could be arranged,” Bernie said, lowering her lips to Serena's ear. “If you like.” She pulled back and they grinned at each other. “So, what is it about … being held down?” Bernie let go of Serena's wrists all together and knelt up from her. Serena sat up, hands sliding round Bernie's waist. “Would you … like to be tied up?”

“No,” Serena replied, amused. “I suppose the idea of … being a bit … helpless?” She laughed. “Just a bit.”

“Under the control of another?”

Serena bit her lip. “Is that okay?”

“I think so.” Bernie swallowed. “You don't want … me to be horrible to you …”

“No thank you.” She sounded very certain.

“Okay. Good.” Bernie nodded, decided. “Okay.” She leant forward slowly, sunk her fingers into the back of Serena's hair and smiled as Serena shifted closer to her on the sofa. Bernie pressed a kiss to her neck, relishing in the hum of appreciation that caused. Serena grinned and wrapped her arms around Bernie's shoulders as those lips teased her skin. “So,” Bernie murmured against her neck. “Have you experience with … anything like that?”

Serena rubbed her back, reassuringly. “No,” she replied gently. Bernie lifted her head to give her a surprised look.

“At all?”

“No. Never felt … comfortable talking about it with anyone before. Never been asked.” Bernie grinned.

“Well, I'm glad you feel comfortable with me.” Bernie dropped her lips back to the skin of Serena's neck. Serena inhaled deeply.

“And you? Have you … any experience?” There was a moment of silence before Bernie answered.

“Once or twice.”

“Who?” Bernie lifted her head and huffed a bit frustratedly. Serena smiled, touched her cheek with the back of her fingers. “I don't mind, Bernie. I'm curious.”

“Someone recent.”

“Someone in … Afghanistan?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“What did you do?” Bernie lay her cheek against Serena's shoulder and Serena squeezed her warmly. She could feel the tension in her back. “It's okay.”

“There wasn't much … opportunity to … talk much. But we did have a … little friend.” Bernie cleared her throat.

“Did you?” Bernie snuck a hand round Serena's tummy, thumb caressing a bit. “Of the … battery-powered variety?”

“Yep.”

“Colour?” Bernie chuckled a bit at Serena playful tone, relaxing slightly.

“Purple.”

“Girth?”

“Hmm. Not that kind of toy.”

There was a pause. “I don't understand,” Serena said slowly. Bernie rolled her eyes.

“Just a minute.” She took her phone and did a quick google search. She found the page, tapped on a picture. Held her phone up to show the brunette. Serena frowned, curiously, taking the green-case-clad phone from her, turning it on its side to expand the picture.

“So it's not …”

“No.”

“Appears to be ergonomically designed,” Serena commented, almost professionally impressed. Bernie nodded. “Nice colour.”

“There's a choice.”

“Fabulous.”

“Want one?” Bernie looked at her, face so serious, eyes imploring. Serena's face broke into a smile. “Sorry I…” Bernie sucked her bottom lip.

“If it's something you'd like too.” There was a pause as Bernie stared at her, then smiled a bit. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“It's got six different settings.”

“It has?” Serena pulled the phone properly into her hands to miniaturise the picture once more and read the description. “Silicon too.”

“You can put it in the dishwasher.”

“Not going to happen,” Serena said under her breath, reading the blurb. Bernie watched her read, check out reviews (“five stars”), and before she knew it she was grabbing Bernie's finger to use it to sign into the app and make the purchase.

“Serena!”

“What? Ooo ships in three to five working days.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Jason had a day off and had texted his aunt that she had a parcel. Serena had given him strict instructions to leave it the hell alone and carry on with his business. He had assured her that he had left it on the bureaux by the phone and that the box was unopened. She simultaneously sighed with relief and shivered with excitement. She kept the information of their arrived package to herself, for the moment.

During an uncomplicated appendectomy, Serena's eyes sparkled over her mask at the blonde assisting. “We have a package,” Serena said, casually. Bernie's eyes locked with hers and she glanced about at the three other staff members within ear shot. “Jason's taken delivery.” Serena grinned at the creeping blush on Bernie's face as she dropped her head to make the necessary incisions.

“Um. Good. That's good.”

“Thought about opening it after dinner.”

“Yep. We could.” She shot Serena a wide-eyed look that clearly said ‘do you mind?’, and Serena chuckled, then relented.

“Special chocolates from Italy,” she explained to the room. “Six month anniversary present. A bit early, I know.” She did a good job at shrugging, before helping Bernie with the procedure.

When they stood in the side room, washing their hands and pulling off their theatre clothing, Bernie shot her another look. Serena chuckled. “I'm sorry. Couldn't resist.”

“So,” Bernie sighed, drying her hands on paper towels and throwing them in the bin. “Tonight?”

“My place?” Serena replied, grinning.

“Okay.”

Promise secured, Bernie turned to leave, just as her pager went off. “Keller. Consult.” She smoothed a hand over Serena's shoulder. “Mind if I take Morven with me?”

“Be my guest.”

Serena sat at the nurse’s station, stayed in her scrubs, an inkling in the back of her mind that the damn red phone would …

*bring*

“Oh goodie.” She answered the phone deftly and filled in the trauma form. Twenty seconds later she pressed the button on the microphone. “Adult trauma call, fifteen minutes.”

Fletch and three other nurses gathered in the trauma bay, dressed appropriately in personal protective equipment, including gowns, gloves and aprons. “Right team. Damn am I the only medic?”

“Raf’s on holiday,” Fletch reminded her. She shook herself. “Ms Wolfe and Doctor Digby…”

“Keller.” Serena nodded. “Somebody page them please?” One of the nurse's went to the phone on the wall and did so. “Okay. Female, thirty-nine, assaulted. Multiple contusions, so Lou could you request a FAST scan please?” Lou nodded. “Fletch, blood pressure, neuro obs, Sally, airway? Looks like we're expecting some internal injuries.”

A moment later, the paramedic team accompanied a trolley with a dark-haired woman atop, a red-haired woman following, looking distraught. “A friend?” Serena asked, eyeing the woman confusedly.

“Partner,” the woman shouted over the commotion.

“Apologies,” Serena stated, waving with a gloved hand. “Please step out so we can work.”

“Alex, I'll be right outside.”

“Alex Dawson, thirty-nine, beaten up outside a night club an hour ago. Neck cleared at the scene and no evidence of head injury.” The paramedic rattled off various physical observations taken at scene, and then more recently. “GCS fifteen throughout. Ten of morphine given, a gram of IV paracetamol.”

“Suspected ruptured spleen?” Serena asked, having clocked the name almost immediately but luckily unable to distract away from the potential life-threatening diagnosis enough to feel her heart hammering.

“Those were my thoughts,” the paramedic handing over said. Serena nodded.

“Okay, we’ll assess here, then I'm suggesting straight to theatre.” She looked down, for the first time, her own brown eyes catching the blue ones upturned towards her. She took in the tears she found, furrowed her own brow, placing a steady hand in the woman’s shoulder. “Don't worry Alex. We've got this.” Alex nodded, grimacing in pain.

“She's a medic,” the paramedic explained.

“It's okay, I'm aware.” Serena stepped away out of Alex’s earshot. “Lou, can you please arrange for Ms Wolfe to be met at the door and dissuaded from coming to assist? This is Morven’s time to shine.” Lou looked puzzled but complied, understanding there was more to it, but knowing Ms Campbell would have a good reason enough for asking.

A theatre space was cleared and Serena scrubbed in quickly, pleased she hadn't changed out of her scrubs. After Alex was anaesthetised and intubated, and Morven had arrived, they set to work investigating and fixing any internal damage to the younger anaesthetist.

“I wonder who beat her up,” Morven mused.

“I'm sure the police are involved,” Serena replied. She exhaled deeply, nodding. “Good work, Dr Digby. Let's share the job of closing up.” As much as she would need to face her blonde medic and explain the situation, she wanted to make sure Bernie's ex-comrade (and she didn't want to name her in anymore detail right then, not even in her own head) got the best care possible, even in the sutures they used to close her wounds.

Once everything was complete, and praise had been supplied in earnest to Morven, they covered Alex up warmly and she was wheeled back through to recovery. Morven stood next to Serena to wash up. “Can I ask something, Ms Campbell?”

“Of course.”

“Alex Dawson. Wasn't she … the woman Ms Wolfe …” Morven trailed off.

“That depends on what you've heard,” Serena said, feigning nonchalance.

“Someone from Keller. A while ago.”

“I …” Serena sighed. “You know as well as I how private Bernie is about her past. I need to go talk to her. Maybe, at the end of your shift, if you'd like to, you could ask her about it.” Morven nodded.

“I shouldn't have asked you,” Morven said, shrugging.

“It's alright. I just need to …” She pointed out the theatre door. Morven nodded.

When Serena entered AAU again, Bernie collared her. Before she could speak, Serena barked, “office.”

“’Kay.”

“Sit?” Serena asked, a little more gently. Bernie did so, lowering herself into the visitor’s chair. She pulled it up close to Serena's desk as she watched Serena sit down, hands clasping in front of her on the desk.

“I saw her name,” Bernie croaked. “On the board.” Bernie swallowed. She inhaled, exhaled, shook her head. She turned her head away. “Is she um … okay?”

Serena eyed her. “Ruptured spleen. She'll be fine.” Serena nodded, leaning heavily against her desk. “Morven did a splendid job.”

“Good. Good.” Bernie nodded.

“She's in recovery. Bed six.”

Bernie patted her thighs, stood and nodded again. “Right then.”

“Bernie I think …” The blonde had left the office before Serena could finish. Bernie made a deliberate circle away from bed six. Serena sighed, eyes closing in frustration.

An hour later and Bernie had stringently avoided Serena, bustling around, turning her back when on the phone, always appearing to be several miles an hour quicker than Serena wherever she was. She also hadn't gone near the private room where Alex Dawson was recovering. Serena eventually gave up trying to be near her, and sat at the nurse’s station in an effort to at the very least keep an eye on the blonde from a distance.

Lou came over after a while. “Alex Dawson’s awake enough to talk to.” Serena rose and walked to the room, glancing at Bernie who was reviewing another patient across the ward. Their eyes locked and Bernie looked away. Serena sighed and pushed open the door.

“Doctor Dawson.”

“Alex please.” Serena smiled a little tightly. The woman was stunning, she had to admit, and the faint northern accent made her relax a bit.

“Alex. All appears to have gone well.” The younger woman nodded, smiled tiredly.

“I guessed that. Thank you.” Alex folded her hands atop her tummy. “Spleen?”

“That's correct,” Serena replied, picking up and opening Alex's medical notes. “All repaired.” Serena realised they were alone and looked around. “Where’s ..?”

“Sophie? She's gone to get herself something to eat.” Alex's eyes were trained through the door. Serena glanced around and caught the back of a messy blonde head. Alex looked down at her hands. “She'll be a while.” Alex smiled a bit despite herself. “She's a picky sort of person.”

“Right.”

“Why hasn't Ms Wolfe come to see me?” Alex asked quietly, frowning.

“You're not her patient,” Serena said, an attempt at kindness on her lips.

“We know each other. From the army.”

“I had heard.”

“Hmm.” Alex nodded, then caught Serena's gaze. Serena looked away, at anything but the anaesthetist in the bed in front of her. Alex's eyebrows raised a bit, understanding dawning on her face. She didn't speak.

“The police will want to talk to you,” Serena battled on, replacing the file on the table and clasped her hands in front of her.

“Yep.”

“What happened?” Alex rolled her eyes. Then, to Serena's complete confusion and horror, tears fell down her cheeks. Alex put a shaky hand up to her eyes, shuddering a bit. “Oh. Don't worry.” Serena didn't know what to do. She looked briefly around for a nurse or something, but no one was around. She pulled a chair up to the bed, sat in it gingerly, reached over and patted Alex's hand as she shook and silently cried. “Would you like to talk about it?”

Alex shook her head slowly, not as a reply to Serena's question, but with disbelief at the situation. “I was a proper twat.”

“I'm sure that's not true.”

“I goaded him,” Alex admitted. She wiped her eyes with her fingers, Serena held out a box of tissues for her, which she gratefully accepted with a watery smile. “This … rugged bloke with far too many tattoos and an attitude like something from the dark ages.” She wiped her eyes with the tissue. “He started shouting. Like they do. ‘Dykes, rug munchers’, whatever mate that's so last century. I suppose I should have just ignored him but …” Alex smacked her hand down against the mattress of the thin hospital bed. “When you've had a few beers and all you want to do is get home because you're with your girlfriend and there's a movie that you really want to watch on the telly.”

Alex huffed, lay her head back against the raised back of the bed and closed her eyes. “What … happened then?” Serena asked gently, feeling a weird and confusing surge of affection for this woman. This woman who had loved Bernie. This woman who had known Bernie longer than her. This woman who had saved Bernie's life.

“I turned round and just had a go, told him where he could stick his homophobic words. Should have just left it. Twat.” Alex opened her eyes and looked at Serena. “He just … he went mental. Probably on something. Weird eyes, you know?” She waved her fingers in front of her own face to emphasise. “Didn't go for my head. Weird, just started punching. Backed up against a wall.” Serena nodded. “Sophie was screaming.” Alex looked out of the window in the door again and screwed up her face. “Really hope she's okay.”

“D’you feel ready to talk to the police?” Alex sighed dejectedly and nodded.

“I suppose.”

“It's not your fault,” Serena found herself saying. Found herself realising that it could happen to her, if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Could happen to Bernie. She swallowed and stood. “I think I would have done the same thing.” Alex lifted her eyes to Serena's and cocked an eyebrow.

“Would you?”

“Not one to keep my mouth shut,” Serena admitted. They smiled a bit at one another. Serena inhaled deeply and nodded. “Some people just need to be told.” Alex laughed a bit, grimaced.

“Don't make me laugh,” she complained quietly, uncomfortably.

“Ah. I won't try out my new stand up routine on you then.”

“Best not.”

“Get some rest. Let me know if you need me to send a search party for your other half.” Alex smiled and nodded.

“She'll be back in a bit.” Serena went to leave. “Ms Campbell?” Serena stopped.

“Yes?”

“If Bernie has a few minutes. I know she's busy but … it'd be good to see her.” Serena gave her a gentle smile.

“I'll see what I can do.”

In the comfortable knowledge that although there was an elephant in the room, it wasn't a big elephant and they could probably deal with it without much fallout, Serena informed the police that Alex was ready to talk, before she went to find Bernie. She checked behind each curtain, their office, the locker room, the toilets, but all she found was a completely Bernie-free AAU. Frowning she found Fletch wheeling a trolley of linen. “Any sign of Bernie?” she asked, a little worried. Fletch shook his head, looked around himself. Morven approached them.

“She said she was getting some air.”

“What're we thinking, team? Downstairs or up?” Serena asked, trying to sound lighthearted.

Fletch thought for a moment. “I'm going take a wild guess and say the roof.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie had texted Dominic Copeland shortly after slipping quietly off the ward, having watched Serena go into Alex's room. Having watched Serena sit by Alex’s bed and reach out to touch her. Bernie’s brain had gone into overdrive and she hadn't been able to think properly or clearly. She'd left, run away as usual. She sat against one of the metal pillars and wished for the first time in months that she had a packet of cigarettes. Felt the cold wind against the skin of her face.

A moment later, Dom was sliding onto the metal beside her, grey hoodie pulled tight round his neck. “Could you make sure next time you have an emotional crisis it's a bit warmer outside?” he quipped, lightly, but when he turned his eyes to Bernie, there was genuine concern in them.

“Hello Doctor Copeland.”

“Been a while since we met up for a chat,” he said, voice softer. Her hair blew around her face in the wind. Tears stung her eyes but she refused to let them fall.

“It has. How are you?”

“Same old.” He frowned at her in concern. “You texted me. I'm here for you.”

“Thanks for coming up,” Bernie said quickly, smiling at him. “I'm sorry. You're probably really busy.”

“Keller can spare me for a few minutes,” Dom said, shrugging.

“Good.”

“So come on, Ms Wolfe, spill.”

Bernie sighed, looked out at the darkening sky. “Do you ever feel like your past just won't leave you alone?” she asked, idly. She turned back to him. “My ex turned up as a patient.”

“Dr Dunn?” She shook her head. “Alex Dawson.” She nodded.

“Serena's patient. Assaulted in the street. She's fine, I think. Serena said she was fine.”

“Have you been to see her?” Bernie rolled her eyes.

“Not you as well.”

“Don't you think you ought to?”

“Why should I, she's not my patient?”

“I wasn't suggesting a professional visit.” Bernie sighed.

“It's all wrong, just … this is my life now,” she said assertively, cutting her flat hand through the air. “This and AAU and Serena and Jason and Cameron and Charlotte and …”

“And she just waltzed in and messed it all up?” Bernie eyed him. “Doesn't sound like she had much choice.”

“I know that. I know. I just … it was all going so … perfectly.” He laughed and she shot him a relenting look. “Okay, maybe not perfectly. But it was going okay. We live together, we share a family. It was all fine.”

Dom touched her arm, giving her a lopsided smile. “I always say, you never know what life is going to throw at you. And it's not about the situations that get thrown at us, it's all about how we deal with them.” Bernie shook her head, looked out to the sky again. “You need to just deal with it.”

Bernie smiled a bit, sighed despite herself. “Are you telling me to grow a pair?”

“I wouldn't use that wording but …” Dom shrugged. “Yes?” He looked around the roof and spotted a dark-haired figure by the door to the roof, lingering uncertainly. He motioned towards Serena with a tilt of his head. “And here endeth the lesson. Please leave silver in the small cup by the door.”

Bernie lifted her head towards the door and watched Dominic give Serena a gentle smile before pushing the door open and going down the steps. Serena stayed where she was for a moment, arms around herself against the cold. She hadn't brought her jacket. Bernie caught her eye. “Sorry. Shouldn't have run off.”

“Yes it was somewhat cowardly.” Serena looked stern but not angry.

“I should have talked to you.”

“Yes you should.”

“I'm sorry.”

“We all need space sometimes,” Serena mused, walking slowly towards her, stopping a few feet away. They were silent for a while. In the end Bernie sighed deeply, dejectedly.

“I saw how you were with her. I'm amazed how you can be so calm when you're faced with …”

“Amazed?”

“Impressed,” Bernie corrected herself. “Proud.”

“Hmm.”

“I freaked out a bit.”

“I noticed.”

“I think I'm ready to … say hi now.”

“I think she'd like that,” Serena replied, smiling. Bernie blinked.

“She said that?”

“Out right. She wants to see you.” Bernie looked guiltily at Serena.

“If it makes you uncomfortable...”

“You're being very silly,” Serena explained affectionately, “and you're also making me sound like a jealous harpy.” Bernie had to smile. “I think I owe the woman who saved your life at least one moment with you.” Bernie stood, moved towards her.

“I wouldn't see her if you weren't okay with it.”

“Your thoughtfulness is very sweet Bernie, but honestly, you are allowed to say hi to someone you know.” Serena held out a hand and touched Bernie's arm. Bernie moved closer. “If I had any concerns I would let you know, would I not?”

“You would.” They were quiet again. Bernie's eyes locked with Serena's and she finally pulled her into her arms, snaking them around Serena's waist. Serena chuckled a bit, lay her chin on Bernie's shoulder and slipped her arms around Bernie's neck. “You're cold,” Bernie said, squeezing her close.

“See the lengths I go to for you?” Bernie kissed her cheek as she drew back. They grinned at one another. “I don't recall ever coming up here with you before.”

“One of my contemplative haunts,” Bernie admitted.

“I can imagine it's lovely in summer.”

“Oh it is.” Bernie eyes dropped to Serena's lips, but flicked back up again. She cleared her throat. “You know we … could be interrupted any minute.”

“We should probably get back to work then,” Serena replied, slowly and unconvinced. Bernie turned her head to look behind them, at a space of the roof behind a metal construction, where they wouldn't be seen from the door. She took Serena's hand and pulled her into the space. Serena grinned, checked all around her, before resting her hands against Bernie's collarbones. Her fingers played with the neck of Bernie's hoody. Her tone was childlike. “It really is cold up here. Perhaps you could think of a way to warm me up?”

Bernie sealed their lips together, grasping Serena's neck, pushing her with a clang against the metal wall. Serena laughed against the kiss and returned it with vigour. “I think … you should have … cowardly moments … more often,” Serena managed between kisses, tongue flicking out a for a moment, catching the air between their lips. Bernie broke the kiss, breathless, pressed her lips to Serena's chilly cheekbone.

“You're such an exhibitionist,” Bernie murmured against her skin.

“I am not,” Serena giggled.

“Could get caught at any moment,” Bernie said, voice low. “I'm sure if Hanssen got wind of it, our jobs would be on the line.”

“And who pushed who up against this wall?”

“You started it. Coming up here without a coat.”

“I suppose we have broken our ‘no kissing at work’ rule.”

“I suppose we have.”

“But it's not the first time,” Serena breathed, fingertips reaching to touch Bernie's face. Bernie kissed her lips again, gently, slowly, bringing them both down. “Just tell me one thing,” Serena whispered as their kisses slowed to light brushes of lips. “Are you still in love with Alex?”

“No,” Bernie promised sincerely.

“But you still feel …”

“I care about her,” Bernie said, nodding seriously. “We were … very close. We experienced a lot together.”

Serena touched her cheek. “I know. Thank you for your honesty.”

“I love you,” Bernie whispered. “I'm … in love … with you.” Serena sniffed, patted Bernie cheek.

“Come on Major.” Serena smiled a little wetly, caressed the hair at the nape of her neck, making Bernie smile. “It's freezing up here. They'll be missing us.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The police officers had been and gone. Serena sat at the nurse’s station, glancing every few minutes across at bed six. She smiled gently as Bernie sat by the younger woman, noting the relieved look in Alex's eyes. Bernie had her back to the door.

She tried not to watch them. Fletch came over and sat next to her. He nudged her and she jumped a bit. “So that's her,” he said, looking through to bed six with interest. Serena gave him an appalled look.

“What is this, rumour central?”

“Can't keep anything from me,” Fletch replied a little sadly. “Hub of AAU me.” He started to write up in patient files. “Funny how things happen for a reason, isn't it?”

“I'm not sure what you mean,” Serena said.

“Well,” he said shrugging, explaining, “Bernie meets a girl in the army, cheats on her husband with said girl, gets blown up and saved by said girl …”

“I'm awaiting your point with bated breath.”

“… gets brought here. You meet her. You fall head over heels for each other.” He shrugged again. “If she hadn't met Alex, she probably wouldn't have had her life saved and therefore wouldn't have ended up here with you.”

“Hmm. Interesting theory.”

“I say it how I see it,” Fletch said, cheerfully.

“You do indeed.”

Serena leant her head in her hand and watched the back of Bernie's head. The doors to AAU opened and in walked the redhead, Sophie, a wrapped pastry in her hand. They smiled at one another. “Wanted to say thank you,” Sophie said, stopping by the nurse's station. “For doing all you did.”

“You're welcome. How's the food down there today?”

“Not too bad.” Sophie blinked. Serena shot her an affectionate look. “Got Alex a pain au chocolat. Is that okay, can she have that?”

“I don't see why not, if she feels up to it.” Sophie nodded, smiled at Serena and went into bed six. Serena watched them, watched Bernie turn in her chair and watched the nervous look between Bernie and Sophie as Alex introduced them. She grinned a little to herself as they shook hands and tried to hide her smirk as Bernie stood and left the room. “Alright?” Serena asked gently as Bernie walked over, looking a little sheepish.

“Yep. Nice to see her.” She eyed Fletch, raised an eyebrow. “Nowhere to be, Nurse Fletcher?” He shrugged, indicated his stack of paperwork.

“You want to talk?” Serena asked quietly. Bernie smiled at her.

“It's okay,” she said softly, reassuringly. Like the world was right again. Serena nodded.

“Okay.” Bernie stepped backwards and went to see to her patients. Fletch nudged Serena with his shoulder. “Do you mind?” He grinned at her and Serena eventually grinned back. “Oh be quiet.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie was late finishing her paperwork, so Serena asked Jason if he'd like a drink at Albie’s whilst they waited for her. He considered the offer very carefully and eventually agreed, after Serena said he could stay out extra late if he liked at chess club that evening, with Lisa.

They sat together, Jason with a coke and Serena, of course, with a glass of her usual. Dom sat at the bar with Issac and Serena lifted her glass to him. She knew he was a helpful and trusted friend to Bernie, felt a little like he'd made up for his error in encouraging Bernie to go to Ukraine all those months ago. He copied her, lifted his something-and-coke toward her and received a confused and a little demeaning glance from Issac. Serena narrowed her eyes a bit in contemplation. From what she'd heard, Issac wasn't exactly a pillar of trust when it came to Dom’s affections.

After a few minutes of chatter, mostly about the new sixteen part wildlife documentary Jason had decided to record, Bernie swept into the pub, blonde soft hair all over her face from the wind. She tripped to Serena and pressed a brief kiss to her lips, tucking her own hair behind her ear. “One minute. Need a drink.”

“You deserve one,” Serena replied. Bernie grinned and went to the bar, leant against it to order a large glass of something red and a whisky, the latter of which she knocked back, before taking up the other glass and turning back to Serena, ready to join her.

“You don't look like you're listening,” Issac was saying, tone hushed. Bernie stopped and, without turning towards then, listened, head dropped.

“I am,” Dom replied, eyebrows pleading and eyes a bit watery.

“You really can't turn your attention to anything can you? You have no focus. You are never going to make a skilled and dedicated surgeon.” Bernie knew Issac thought no one could hear him.

“Don't say that. I'm working really hard.”

“Obviously not hard enough.” Issac sighed, a smile plastered on his face for the pub to see. “If you spent half the time actually being a decent doctor that you spend reading trashy magazines, you'd be well on your way.” Bernie tensed. She turned very slowly and put her wine glass on the bar.

“I don't read that many.” Dom was looking at the floor. He had tears in his eyes.

“I beg to differ,” Issac continued, “and if you think you're going anywhere near that man's grave next month when I have booked us tickets for the theatre, you are sorely mistaken.”

“But it's his birthday,” Dom replied. Bernie drew in a deep breath, closed her eyes. She crossed the floor between where she stood and where the men stood. She stepped up close in front of Issac. She pursed her lips and set her jaw. She gave him a strong look, a challenging look. Issac’s smile brightened.

“Ms Wolfe. How lovely.”

“Lovely is not a word I associate with you, Dr Mayfield.” She gave him another challenging look. “Why don't you go somewhere more appropriate? Like the sewer. Or a seedy night club where you can pick up a lad that won't mind being put down and belittled in front of his friends.”

Serena looked round, wondering where Bernie had got to. She frowned when she saw what she was doing.

“I'm sorry, I'm really not sure what you're talking about.” Issac looked genuinely innocent.

“I was in the army for thirty years,” Bernie said, arms folding. “I've seen torture in all shapes and forms. I also know what's effective.” She was so still, menacing, despite the low volume of her voice. Issac swallowed visibly, stepped back a bit. Then he laughed.

“Of course, you and Dom are bosom buddies aren't you?” His own tone became patronising, which was the last mistake he made. “I'm sure these threats won't go down well when I speak with Hanssen.”

“If you recall, Doctor Mayfield, I haven't actually made any threats.” She lowered her head to him, dropped her arms to her sides. “If I had done, you wouldn't still be here.” She stepped back. She flicked her head towards the door. “Now are you going to leave by yourself, or am I going to have to employ my dear nephew to wheel you out in a chair?” Everyone was watching now, and everyone could hear them.

Issac opened his mouth to say something, but, looking around at those watching, he appeared to think better of it. He grabbed his jacket and left at an almost-run. Dom’s tear-filled eyes searched Bernie's, but she just placed a hand on his arm and turned towards the bar man. “Shots. Anything the gentleman requests.” She placed a twenty pound note on the bar and gave Dom a wink. “Good riddance, I say.” He smiled lopsidedly at her, lifting himself onto a bar stool and watched her grab her glass. Bernie made her way towards Serena and Jason.

“What on earth was that about?” Serena asked, her hand seeking Bernie's, their fingers interlacing. Bernie bit her lip.

“Just standing up for a friend.” Bernie caressed the back of Serena's hand with her own. “That man goes near Dominic again and …” She huffed out an angry breath. Serena smiled.

“You’ll … have him?” Bernie laughed, relaxed.

“Pretty much.”

“Very macho.” Bernie narrowed her eyes and Serena raised one of her eyebrows.

“What's happened?” Jason asked. “Why was Doctor Copeland upset and why was that other man angry? Why did Auntie Bernie talk to him like she was angry and why are you now smiling?”

Bernie explained carefully the situation to Jason, taking her time and allowing him to ask questions. Serena listened, smiling and basking in the comfortable and understanding relationship they had. Basking in the assertive and powerful Bernie she had just been faced with, just for a few moments. How the woman could be both a total wimp and then a hardened soldier in the space of a few hours, she wasn't wholly sure. She did know that she was proud of Bernie. For her bravery and ability to command even the most evil of people.

‘She can hold me down anytime,’ she thought to herself and then grinned sneakily, remembering their conversation a few days ago.

*~*~*~*~*~*  
Dropping Jason off at his chess game and giving him the money for his taxi fare home, Serena drove Bernie home. When they entered the hallway, Serena nearly fell over a huge letter on the mat. She picked it up and silently gave it to Bernie, who took it, eyebrows furrowed. Serena hung up her bag and coat quickly, pulling off her shoes. She smiled at the package, which was sitting almost teasingly on the telephone table. She picked it up and carried it into the kitchen.

When Bernie didn't follow her for a few minutes she called out to her. “Everything okay?” No answer. Serena poured herself and Bernie a glass of red each and took them into the hallway. Bernie was still in her coat, but had dropped to sit on the seat next to the bureaux, mass of papers clutched in her hands, serious eyes reading what was written. “Bernie?” Serena asked.

“Yeah.” Bernie looked up. Her eyes started out serious, but soon crinkled into a smile. “I'm officially a free woman.”

“Excuse me?” Serena asked. Bernie held out the papers.

“Divorce finalised. It's over.” She laughed a bit, put a hand to her lips. “I'm sorry.”

“That's wonderful,” Serena said, smiling with her. Bernie stood and took the wine from Serena's hands.

“To freedom,” she said, and they clinked their glasses, sipped. Serena reached to rub her upper arm.

“Come on let's sit down.” Bernie nodded and shrugged her coat off, hung it up on her peg (the one between Serena and Jason's), and followed her into the sitting room. Serena raised an eyebrow when she took in Bernie's grin. “Pleased?”

“Of course,” Bernie replied, sitting up close to Serena on the sofa, their arms touching. “I didn't realise I'd feel quite this …” She shrugged. “… elated.”

“It's funny how that simple piece of paper makes everything so bright and sunshiny.” Bernie grinned at her.

“Sunshiny?”

“Yes. I think I cried when mine came through.”

“Well, you had more to be happy about that me. It wasn't you're fault.”

“It certainly wasn't.” Serena smiled warmly at Bernie. “Call me stupid, but I don't consider your failed marriage to Marcus your fault either.”

“Same situation, though,” Bernie sighed, not looking at Serena. Serena squeezed her hand, before lacing their fingers together.

“I don't think of it like that. The situation was completely different.” She caught Bernie's miserable gaze, a hand turning her chin. “You loved her.”

“I did,” Bernie murmured, eyes searching Serena's.

“And I can see why.” Bernie swallowed and raised an eyebrow.

“Ms Campbell, are you saying you find my ex attractive?”

“Isn't she?”

Bernie faltered and stuttered. “W-well yes she is b-but…” Serena chuckled.

“Don't worry, I'm not about to replace you. Not now you're a free woman.” Bernie exhaled in relief, only partially in jest. Serena lay her head against Bernie's shoulder as they sipped their wine and scanned through the paperwork Bernie held.

After a few minutes and umpteen pages of legal phrasings, Bernie's stomach rumbled. “Been a long day,” she said, as an explanation. Serena rubbed her arm, took her glass and stood.

“I'll get dinner ready. You read.” Bernie nodded.

Once they'd eaten, and resumed their close quarters on the sofa, Bernie remembered the other package. “Oh, our … thing arrived.”

“Thing?” Serena replied, aghast. “I don't think that's very respectful to her.”

“She's a ‘she’?”

“Of course.” Serena picked up the box and Bernie leant forward to sweep up the paperwork she'd just finished reading from her lap, onto the coffee table. “Shall we open the box?” Bernie nodded and Serena ripped the box open with a little more glee than was truly necessary.

Pulling the flaps of the box back, they both peered inside, Serena with curiosity, Bernie with a little trepidation.

The item they had purchased was burgundy and navy, slightly boomerang-shaped, with two soft buttons on the outside of its curve. Serena reached inside and pulled the clear packaging apart, held it in her hand. “It's warm.”

“Gotta love silicon,” Bernie replied, eyes trained on Serena's and shining a little at her look of wonder. When Serena just sat there staring, Bernie reached into the box to take the information leaflet and open it. “Six settings. Pulse, continuous, etc. USB chargeable.”

“Hmm,” Serena breathed, starting to turn the toy over in her hands. Bernie leant close, chin resting on Serena's shoulder.

“Is it okay?” Bernie asked quietly. “She … is she okay?”

Serena bit her lip and Bernie's heart fell. ‘God, she hates the thing,’ Bernie thought. A small smile tinted Serena's lips. “I'm not sure.”

“We can probably get a refund…” Bernie checked the receipt, but felt Serena's hand on hers.

“I mean …” Serena said, slowly, a little shyly. “… I can't really have an opinion before … I've collected the appropriate data.”

“Oh.” Bernie dropped the leaflet and receipt into the box and looked deep into Serena's eyes. “Tonight?”

“I could do with something nice to finish the day, couldn't you? Been a bit of a bizarre one.”

“And we have something to celebrate.”

Serena smiled, gestured towards the door. “Jason won't be home until eleven.”

“And he is well trained enough not to disturb us at that hour.”

“He is.” Serena squeezed Bernie's hand. “I heard you call him your nephew in Albie’s.” Bernie smiled and nodded. “I feel like everything's just as it should be,” Serena murmured, and Bernie nodded.

“It's all falling into place.”

“So,” Serena said, holding her palm up, fingers flat, toy resting gently atop. “Shall we go try her out?”

Bernie didn't speak. Her eyes were dark. She took Serena's almost empty wine glass from her, then took the toy from her and placed it gently in the box, which she gathered up with her own free hand. She flicked her eyebrows up once before pulling Serena upstairs by the hand. Serena chuckled and allowed herself to be led.

Setting the box down on the floor by her side of the bed, Bernie took the toy into the en suite to wash it, soap and water, as the instructions dictated. She dried it and plugged the toy in by the side of the bed, and used the plug end from her own phone charger to complete the circuit. She rubbed her hands together and sat on the bed. “It says to charge it for six hours before you use it…” She bit her lip and gave Serena an apologetic look. “She. She.” Serena nodded, stopping to stand by the bottom of their bed. “But I'm guessing … thirty minutes, tops.”

“Hmm. How shall we occupy ourselves for thirty whole minutes?” They smiled at each other. “Do you need a shower?”

“Not tonight.”

“Okay.” Bernie got up from the bed, moved to stand in front of Serena, slid her hands round her waist. “You're sure this is okay?” Serena asked, hands sliding up to touch at Bernie's face, push her hair behind her ears.

“Me?”

“Well … I didn't really ask before I went ahead and bought her.”

“I'm sure. I just hope you don't think …”

“What?”

“That I don't want this … her … because Alex and I …”

Serena smiled and caressed the sides of Bernie's neck, pulling her down a little to rest their foreheads together. She hummed a bit at the feel of Bernie's hands against her back, tracing lines against the cotton of her shirt. “I'm sure we'll make our own memories.”

“I'm sure we will.” Serena pulled back and they kissed gently, hands starting to search over clothes. Bernie's hands slipped under the back of Serena's blouse, touched the skin at the small of her back, fingertips pressing into the muscles there. Nails scraped a little and Serena pressed against Bernie's lips, murmuring her appreciation.

Bernie's hands moved to the collar of Serena's shirt, pushing the open sides back, exposing her shoulders and the camisole underneath. They hadn't done this in a while, stood together fully clothed and undressed one another. Things usually began in bed, pyjamas, horizontal bodies tangling under the duvet.

Bernie dropped her lips to Serena's neck as the blouse fell to the floor. Serena glanced at it but Bernie said: “I'll get it in a minute.”

“That's my girl,” Serena breathed, thumb brushing Bernie's cheekbone as Bernie’s lips teased her pulse point, then her shoulder. She felt Bernie's breath on her skin and sunk her fingers into those blonde locks, tugging to pull her upwards and kiss her lips again.

Serena hands dropped to the bottom of Bernie's top, pulled and lifted it. Bernie complied, raising her arms and breaking the kiss so that Serena could pull the top over her head. They smiled at one another as Serena dropped the top next to her shirt. Serena slid her hands up over Bernie's shoulders then down her front, palms covering the black bra she wore, fingertips squeezing a bit. Lips sought out lips again and Bernie's hands went to Serena's back again, pushing the camisole up to expose more silky skin to her touch.

Serena broke the kiss and dropped her head, sucking carefully at the skin above the cut of Bernie's bra. Hands still squeezing the cups, she trailed kisses from one side to the other, tongue sweeping soft skin. Hands slipped round Bernie's back and unhooked her bra, scraping the straps down her arms and throwing the offending garment onto the rapidly growing pile. She smiled softly and kissed a hard nipple, gentle and tender. Bernie inhaled, fingers grasping the bottom of that camisole and pulling, whipping it over the brunettes head with a whisper of cotton.

Unhooking her own bra and throwing it off, Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie's shoulders and stood on her tiptoes so they were flush against one another. Serena gasped, leaving kisses against Bernie's neck, ear, wherever she could reach. Bernie held her hips, moved careful fingers round to unpop the button and slide down the zip on her trousers. A sharp tug and they pooled around her feet. Serena kicked them to the side. They were still pressed together. Her own hands snuck down the back of Bernie's trousers, fingertips caressing the skin of her backside.

They stood like that for a while, pressed tightly together, hands caressing skin, causing small gasps and moans and breathy giggles. Serena pressed her hips against Bernie's when she felt the blonde's thumbs sweeping the dips of her waist, pulled back from her shoulder so they could begin slowly kissing again. The extra room between them gave Bernie's thumbs ample space to trail up and touch at Serena's nipples. Serena hummed her appreciation against Bernie's lips, eyes closed but hands dropping to undo Bernie's trousers and push them down her hips.

Bernie stepped out of her trousers and broke the kiss, taking in Serena's flushed skin, deep breathing and beaming smile. Bernie felt like she was glowing – that she could make Serena smile like that, that she'd never seen that kind of smile on Serena's face for any other reason than her. She felt humble and warm, like she was in the presence of someone who deserved to be worshipped. She blinked. That was true.

So Bernie stepped back, bent at the waist and gathered up their clothes, folding each piece neatly on the chair. Serena watched her, that smile broadening and shining out affection. “Thank you,” she whispered.

“Any time,” Bernie whispered back, turning back to her and taking her hips gently in her hands, pushing her towards the bed. Serena chuckled and stepped backwards, sitting as she felt the mattress against her calves, and shifting up the bed. Bernie crawled up the bed and lay down beside her, kissing her cheek. “Warm enough?” she asked. Serena nodded. “Good.”

“How long have we got?” Serena asked, glancing towards Bernie's side of the bed. Bernie checked the glowing numbers on Serena alarm clock.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“Mmm. What now?”

“Lie back and relax,” Bernie whispered, lifting a hand to tickle her fingertips against Serena neck, watching her own hand as she did so. Serena slid an arm around Bernie's neck so Bernie could lie against her shoulder, and gasped as those gentle fingers passed over her breast. Bernie concentrated on the area around but not including the hard bud of her nipple, circling and tickling patterns into her skin until Serena was writhing a little on the bed.

“Bernie,” she breathed, hesitantly reaching to hold Bernie's fingers against her own skin.

Bernie kissed her ear gently. “Show me,” she whispered and Serena moaned, her skin aching to be touched more intimately. She confidently took Bernie's hand and held two of her fingers together, moved them to her own pink nipple, circled, gasped a bit. “Is that what you like?” Bernie whispered, her voice innocent, like she didn't already know, like they hadn't already been here before, done this. She took over control of her own hand, rubbing and circling slowly. Serena nodded, her hand gripped Bernie's hair, pulling her in for a kiss.

Bernie touched Serena's breast, relishing in Serena’s building arousal, the arousal she could hear, feel, and see in the way she was responding to Bernie's touch. She scraped the back of her nails over Serena's breast and hummed herself at the moan that caused, deep in Serena's throat. She gave the same attention to Serena's other breast, rubbing with index and middle fingers, circling, then back and forth. Then drawing the back of her nails across the puckered skin.

Serena's left hand came up, grasped at Bernie's waist, needing to touch her. Her right hand remained in Bernie's hair, fingertips beginning to scratch a little. Bernie moaned and leant up on her elbow, right hand trailing down Serena’s side to tickle her there. Serena rolled onto her side toward Bernie, a hand smoothing round her bare belly. She straddled her, elbows sinking into the pillows either side of Bernie's head.

Grinning up at her, Bernie trailed her fingertips across Serena's waist, then round to her spine, dipping into the hollow at the small of her back. Serena dropped her head to kiss Bernie's lips, and tongues caressed against one another before Serena started trailing kisses downwards.

Jaw, neck, that tasty spot by Bernie's clavicle that Serena paid affectionate attention to for several minutes. Bernie wiggled underneath her a bit, hands on her hips now, tracing the line of her underwear, then sliding up and down her thighs as she lay between them. Serena made her way lower, kissing between Bernie's breasts before taking a nipple into her mouth and flicking her tongue against it. Bernie arched back, as much as she could with Serena's weight against her and around her. Serena chuckled, circling that nipple with her tongue and flicking again. She pressed kisses across to the other side, grazed her teeth against the taught nub. Bernie moaned, watching as Serena smiled against her, then rose a little to slide back up and brush Bernie's hair out of her face.

“You really do have a skill there,” Bernie commented, feeling the cool against her breast where Serena had kissed her.

“Must be my oral personality,” Serena quipped back, smiling down at her.

“Good for a number of things.”

“Speeches, running a ward, standing up to Hanssen…”

“Touching me,” Bernie breathed, hands running up and down Serena's thighs again. “Making me ache.”

“Am I?” Serena asked lightly. “I do apologise.”

“How could you possibly make it up to me?” Bernie glanced over at the clock, wordlessly shifted underneath Serena and reached down the side of the bed. They gazed at one another, a little breathlessly, as Bernie slowly disconnected the toy and lifted it into the bed. “Come here,” she breathed, free hand on the back of Serena's neck, pulling her down to kiss her.

They kissed more slowly than before, taking their time. Serena snuck a hand between them and placed a palm on Bernie's breast, just cupping and gently kneading. Palm occasionally rubbing a little against the still damp nipple. She felt Bernie's fingers tugging at the waistband of her underwear and they slipped them off together. Bernie made use of her brief freedom from Serena's weight pinning her to the bed, to slip her own underpants off as well. Serena made to roll back to lie on the bed but Bernie held her close. “This is fine,” Bernie whispered.

“Fine?” Serena asked. Settling against her, gasping as her wet centre brushed against Bernie's curls.

“Good. Really good.”

“Okay.”

“You don't object?”

“No.” They grinned at one another. “Tell me if I crush you.”

“Never,” Bernie said. They laughed a little, nervous for a moment. Serena shifted her hips a bit, the friction making them both shiver. Bernie's fingers gripped the toy which lay by her hip in the sheets. “Have you though about … which setting …”

“Surprise me,” Serena replied breathily, her stomach flipping at Bernie's attempt to be chivalrous.

“Close you eyes,” Bernie whispered, her free hand pulling Serena down to bring their lips together.

The first touch of the soft silicon against the skin of her lower back made Serena smile against Bernie's lips. When those skilful fingers pressed the appropriate button and it gently buzzed against her skin, Serena giggled a bit. Bernie pulled back and Serena opened her eyes. “Tickles,” Serena said, shrugging. “I like it.”

“Good job.” Serena closed her eyes again and squeezed her fingers around Bernie's breast before beginning another slow kiss.

Bernie trailed the toy’s tip gently against Serena back, tracing patterns on her skin, feeling her hips roll a little. This had been a good idea, a really good idea. She moaned a bit against Serena's lips as Serena rolled her hips just so, pressing wonderfully against the apex of her own thighs.

Serena shifted again as she felt the toy trail circles across her back and over to her hip. She lifted her hips a little and Bernie took the invitation to move the toy forward and between Serena's legs.

That first contact of the softly buzzing toy against Serena's centre made her go still. Her muscles tensed all down her back, her hand became motionless, the muscles in her arms taught. Bernie rubbed her back a bit, staring up at her in concern as she watched Serena holding her breath. She smiled when Serena let the breath out in a low moan, and caught her eye when she opened hers. “Okay?”

“Yes,” Serena hissed, eyes dark. She moved her hand from Bernie's breast, leant on both elbows.

“How's the … intensity?” Bernie asked quietly.

“Good.”

“Would you like …?”

“Turn it up a little,” Serena requested. Bernie shifted a little to press the second button. Serena gasped as the vibrations increased in intensity.

“D’you want to … move?” Bernie asked, “or shall I …” Serena pressed her hips down, rolled them a little and groaned.

“Oh. Damn.” Bernie lifted her knees a little between Serena's thighs, feet braced against the bed. “That’s … it's…” Serena gasped and started to press against the toy, pressing it down against Bernie's lower tummy. Bernie held it steady, let Serena rub against it, feeling the vibrations against her own skin.

They kissed a little haphazardly, Serena's elbows catching Bernie's hair so that she had to push it out of the way and rearrange her arms. “Sorry,” Serena breathed. Bernie shook her head, her hand pulling Serena down to continue kissing her.

So close together, so much bare flesh touching, Bernie felt enveloped by Serena, skin touching her on all sides. That toy tickling her tummy deliciously, making her wish a little bit that she could move upwards and have the back of it touch her the way the curved front was touching Serena. Making Serena moan and shudder and rub her hips down against her.

Bernie watched her, checked on her, listened for the telltale signs that she was approaching the inevitable. When she felt Serena start to move without thinking, hips jumping a little against her, she slid her fingertip to the first button on the toy and pressed. The toy began to pulse, rhythmically, teasingly almost, enough time between tingles for Serena to miss it. Bernie moved it a little, slid the toy downwards so that the curled tip slid to Serena's entrance. The tingles left Bernie's own skin but she didn't mind. Serena let out a long breath and opened her eyes.

“Oh.”

“Ergonomically designed,” Bernie whispered, smiling lovingly at her.

“She is,” Serena breathed, eyes stating open now and capturing Bernie's as she pressed downwards with her hips. “Oh Bernie.”

“You're beautiful,” Bernie told her, hand at her neck, then trailing down so that she could curl her fingers round Serena thigh and tug. “Come on.”

Serena lifted up onto her hands and knees, and spread her legs wider, a breathy and gleeful laugh escaping her lips at the different angle. Bernie pressed the toy with her palm against Serena’s sex, feeling the gathering wetness, hoping she wouldn't lose her grip. Serena rolled her hips as Bernie started the rock the toy back and forth, each mini-thrust pressing the tip into her.

With each pulse of the toy, Serena thrust her pelvis, Bernie moved with her, watching her gently. Serena was moaning quietly with each movement, the buzzing right there, perfect, amazing, so good. Bernie watched her and caught all the signs, the parting of Serena's lips, furrowing of her brow. The way her hands gripped the pillow either side of Bernie's head.

Serena started to come and Bernie's free hand gripped her hip to hold her up. Serena fell forward against Bernie's shoulder and rolled her hips against the waves of pleasure, quiet gasps and moans flickering around them as her whole body shook. Serena suddenly groaned loudly and Bernie felt a rush of wetness against her tummy. Her eyebrows rose in surprise. Serena groaned again, a little less loudly, and Bernie felt another wave of wetness. Bernie rubbed Serena's back as she shook hard. She finally lay properly against her, and Bernie turned the toy off, snuck it back onto the bed by their side.

Serena breathed a while, body heavy and limp against Bernie's, but not uncomfortable. Bernie rubbed her back, grinning from ear to ear, smugness filling her veins. After a while Serena huffed a laugh, started trailing kisses across Bernie's shoulders. “Oh goodness,” Serena sighed.

“Goodness indeed.” There was humour in Bernie's voice and Serena pushed herself to roll onto her side a bit, looked at her in curiosity.

“What's that look for, Ms Wolfe?” Bernie just smiled, close-lipped and self-satisfied. “Tell me.”

“Well that's never … um … happened before?” Bernie couldn't stop smiling.

“Well she only arrived this morning,” Serena teased, but had an inkling Bernie was hinting at something else. Bernie shook her head.

“You … um.” Bernie didn't want to say the words out loud. It was too clinical a phrase for this lovely moment. So she took Serena's hand and lay it over the wetness on the skin of her own belly. Serena frowned.

“Was that me?”

“Yup.”

“Oh.” Serena looked a little stunned. “I'm sorry.”

“You're kidding.” Bernie looked amazed. “Women strive for that.”

“For what?” Bernie assumed it was a state of post-orgasm brain; Serena wasn't usually this mis-informed or dense. She sighed and leant up close to her ear and whispered the phrase to her. Serena blinked. “Really?”

“That's right.”

“Oh.” Serena's lips tugged up into a little shy smile. She rolled her eyes as Bernie's still-smug grin. “Oh well there you go.”

“It was …” Bernie shook her head a bit, wonder filling her gaze as she looked up at the brunette. “Brilliant.” Serena leaned over to take a tissue from the box on her side of the bed. She kissed Bernie's jaw as she wiped the slick wetness from Bernie's skin, gently and tenderly.

“I was good for me too.”

“I noticed,” Bernie quipped back. Serena chuckled, screwed the tissue in her hand.

“I just need to go…” Serena whispered, pointing to the en suite door. Bernie nodded, but not before she took Serena's chin and pulled her in for a quick kiss. As Serena rounded the bed, she grabbed the toy to take with her. “Soap and water, hmm?”

“Yup,” Bernie called back as she closed the door behind her.

A moment later a slightly less flushed (but quite wobbly-legged, Bernie noticed with pride) Serena returned, brandishing their new and freshly washed toy like a quill. She had a fun smile on her face and Bernie eyed her. “Hmmm,” she mused, “not sure I trust you with her.”

Serena just smiled, rounded the bed and climbed in, reaching to pull the covers up to their chins. “Hmmm. Her.” Serena slid up close to Bernie, who lay on her back, and wrapped her arms around her, the toy idle against her tummy. “We should give her a name.”

“Okay,” Bernie replied quietly, as Serena began to kiss her neck, inhaling a bit at the sensations. “Janet?”

Serena laughed. “No.”

“Edna?”

“No!”

Bernie laughed then. “Matilda?” Serena stopped kissing her neck and regarded her with disdain. “What then?”

“What about … Lily?”

“Hmm.” Bernie seemed surprised and in agreement. “Okay.”

“Lily?”

“Lily.”

Serena's lips teased her neck again and Bernie sighed as Serena's teeth grazed her skin. “I don't need …” Serena lifted her head.

“Next time, you should go first,” Serena decided, smiling warmly at Bernie.

“I do … love to … watch you … you know.” Bernie swallowed. “And it … turns me on so much.”

“Well I suppose I can't really complain,” Serena breathed, eyes kind. Bernie smiled back at her. Their eyes went soft together.

“I love you so much,” Bernie whispered.

“Hmm. Love you too.” Serena kissed her neck again and Bernie stretched back into the pillows. Serena lifted Lily to look carefully at her. “Hmm. Let's see.”

She pressed the first button and the toy buzzed into life, on its lowest setting. She rolled into her back so she could use both hands and held Lily against her other flat palm, tried out various settings before settling on one. Bernie's eyes were shining with amusement when Serena rolled to lie against her again, and the toy finally was lowered and touched her skin. Serena chuckled a bit. “Sorry. Wanted it to be perfect.”

Serena had chosen a pulse setting, which started slowly and built in frequency and intensity, before buzzing strongly for a moment, then starting from slow again. Serena wrote letters with the tip of the toy against Bernie's tummy, a sweeping ‘L’, then an ‘O’ around Bernie's navel. A ‘V’ that traced down and up again between her breasts, a little ‘e’ that rounded a nipple. Bernie sighed, grinning at her.

“Writing a novel?” she whispered.

“Yep.” Serena snuggled against her shoulder, lips pressing against her pulse point. She caressed the toy against the skin of Bernie's tummy and ribs a few more times and then moved lower. Bernie's sigh of relief was audible. Serena hummed a chuckle against her shoulder. Bernie wiggled a bit and parted her legs as the toy slipped between them.

Holding her hand still, Serena allowed the blonde to get used to the sensation for a while. Bernie gasped as the toy sped up, then relaxed back onto the bed as it started again from the beginning. A few cycles in and Bernie was writhing. “God, you're such a tease.”

“I can change it if you like,” Serena breathed into her ear, genuinely happy to do so. Bernie looked at her, thought for a moment, then shook her head. “Okay.”

Bernie gasped as the toy slid a little against her slick centre, back and forth literally no further than half an inch. Serena continued to lavish kisses and sucks against her neck and hummed her own appreciation and enjoyment. Bernie lifted her knees to rest her feet on the bed. Serena brought the toy up and forward, the tip buzzing against Bernie's clit. Bernie lifted her hips to press up against the toy as Serena pressed down with her hand.

On the next cycle, Bernie tensed, eyes closing. Serena watched her face, leaning up on her elbow to comb Bernie's fringe back from her forehead and kiss her cheek. As the toy sped up on the next round, Bernie tensed again and moaned, hips starting to roll. Serena kissed her jaw, then her lips, muffling another moan. Bernie's hands, previously gripping the sheets by her own hips, lifted to cup Serena's face. Their gazes locked, Serena was smiling so brightly, Bernie could do nothing but return the smile.

The bottom of her back went warm, Bernie reached down to press Lily hard against her, fingers covering Serena's. This time as the toy sped up she felt it build and break, immense pleasure, a strangled high-pitched noise emanating from somewhere. She was faintly aware of lips pressing her own and pushing her back into the pillows. Her own fingers gripped Serena's hair at the back of her head.

For the first time in her entire life, Bernie felt the waves of her orgasm lessen, then start up again as the pulses from the toy increased slowly and took her wonderfully over the edge for a second time. Serena grinned breathlessly, parting her fingers so that Bernie could interlace them together, around this fantastic toy. She watched Bernie's face, sweaty, flushed, screwed up in pleasure but so, so beautiful. Their hands pumped the toy back and forth against Bernie's sex, Serena allowing Bernie to dictated the speed, rhythm, whatever.

After relaxing back and then starting to tense up again a third time, Bernie laughed, elated, found herself arching right up off the bed. Hair a mess around her head, tears in the corners of her eyes at the intensity (both physical and emotional), Bernie squeezed Serena fingers. “No more,” she managed, breathing laboured and every part of her body far too sensitive. Serena took the toy from between Bernie's legs and turned it off. She snuck it under her pillow discretely and wrapped her arms around the blonde as she continued to shake and twitch. Bernie swore on a breath. It lasted a good few minutes. Serena simply held her and trailed her fingertips against goose-bumpy skin.

As Bernie finally relaxed into the sheets, letting out a long breath in the process, Serena hummed out a chuckle against Bernie's neck. Bernie joined in, tiredness evident in her droopy eyelids and slack jaw. “Oh, my love,” Serena whispered, kissing her cheek and then her lips gently. Bernie kissed her back and just breathed for a minute.

“That was a …a f-first for me,” Bernie admitted quietly, once she could speak again, hand flat against Serena's ear, thumb brushing the lobe tenderly. Serena's fingertips traced patterns across Bernie's ribs. Bernie shivered.

“Was it?” Serena asked.

“More than once? Never happened before.” Bernie shrugged. Serena's smile was broad. “Yeah okay, don't get a big head.”

“I think we both have reasons to feel a bit smug this evening.” Bernie looked over at the clock.

“And all before ten o'clock.”

“Want another round?” Serena asked, clearly joking.

Bernie stretched back into the pillows and groaned. “You've got to be kidding.”

“I could sleep for a week.”

“Let's do that.”

“I love you,” Serena sighed, curling up against Bernie's side. Bernie slipped onto her own side in front of the brunette and curled up too, smiling as she felt Serena envelope her with an arm, hand of the other resting against her shoulder blade. Serena's nose snuck into the back of her neck. Sweaty skin against sweaty skin.

“Love you too, Serena.”

They fell asleep all wrapped up in the duvet and one another. They slept rather well. When Jason came it at eleven, although he called softly from downstairs, they didn't stir.

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this WAS going to be the final chapter but I've been convinced otherwise!!!
> 
> BMPM came up with the initial idea for this chapter, so all complaints can be redirected her way! Also thanks to her you have a relatively medically accurate account of a trauma incident.
> 
> I've made up the 'item' they buy slightly from something we used to sell when I lived and worked in Brighton - it was called a Layaspot made by FunFactory, if anyone's interested!


	14. How Do You Hold A Moonbeam In Your Hand?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NB – thanks to BMPM for asking me to continue this fic. And everyone else with encouragement after chapter 13.
> 
> Thanks to http://www.thehellenictimes.com/ for the story of Orpheus and Eurydice.
> 
> The quote at the end is from ‘If These Walls Could Talk II’. 
> 
> Also. I think the cuteness of this chapter will probably kill people. You have been warned.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena smiled softly down at the sleeping face in her arms. The light from the lamp she’d turned away on the desk cast a gentle glow over the baby's face as it slept, and was the only light source in the office. She felt a steady flutter in her chest as she stared down at the tiny thing. Full term. Mother died in surgery. Various problems from various different agencies, concluded in a baby without a mother. No father as far as they could tell. Child services were on their way.

Should be up on paediatrics really but the baby was medically fit. Why stuff it in a bed when the bed could go to a child that really needed it? Might as well pass it from warm arms to warm arms on AAU. At least it was near its mother here, before they took her body away. And she hadn't minded giving it a cuddle for the last hour or so.

Serena tapped at her computer keyboard with one hand, being conscious to tap quietly as she wrote the adverse incident report. Her part at least was simple and showed they had done everything in their capacity. ‘Poor little love,’ she though, sadly, carefully pulling the blanket round the baby's chin to tuck it in more snugly. ‘Barely a moment in the world and already without a mother.’

She smiled a bit. “Well don't you worry for now,” she whispered to the infant, a little boy. “You're cared for right here.” The baby yawned a bit and sought out his dinner by turning his head towards Serena's chest where she cradled him. Serena swallowed and sighed a little sadly. She heard her own mother’s words ringing in her memory: “breast is best, Serena.” She'd persevered and eventually had succeeded with Elinor, weeks of soreness and tearful two-a.m. phone calls to Adrienne had ended in a healthy baby. If only they still did the wet-nurse thing, baby boy could have the best.

She took the tiny bottle from the warmer on her desk and held it to the baby's mouth. He took it almost immediately and she smiled, eyes crinkling. “Nothing wrong with you, is there little one?”

Usually she was nonchalant with babies. She could take them or leave them. Elinor, of course, had been different. Hours of swearing and epidurals and suddenly a rush of hormones and emotions and Serena understood what everyone had been going on about all this time. And since then, she'd felt a little empathy and understanding, she could recall how she'd felt as a new mother, but she'd not felt that overwhelming need to be close to someone else's child.

Until this evening.

She watched the baby's face as he drank, took in the dark eye lashes against his cheek, the soft dark tuft of hair on his head. Keeping her voice low she sang a bit to him, something her grandmother used to sing for her when she was little.

“Hush my babe, my little one  
Thy father sails the deep  
But warm thy bed is pretty one  
Lie still, my dear, and sleep.

“Cold the wind is blowing  
Angry is the sea  
Guard, ye saints, his going  
And bring him back to me.”

The door opened quietly behind her, she turned a little to smile at Bernie. She'd just come on shift. “They told me at the nurse's station,” Bernie whispered, taking off her coat and hanging it up, before coming to kneel on the floor by Serena's feet. “Oh look at him,” she said, eyes shining, hand on Serena's knee.

“I know. Isn't he adorable?” Serena dropped her voice to a hiss. “And I'm really not a baby person.”

Bernie chuckled softly. “Me neither.” They smiled at each other warmly and the baby boy hiccuped a little bit, the bottle teat popping out of his mouth. He didn't seek it again, so Serena placed it back in the warmer. “He's okay?”

“Seems to be,” Serena replied. “Hungry little devil.”

“That's good,” Bernie said, nodding. “God, isn't he little? I forget how tiny they are.”

“Especially with a son who's like a beanpole.” Bernie smiled at her. A flash of them at home, baby cradled in Serena's arms, as Bernie arrived home from work, careful not to disturb them. Bernie blinked, smiled confusedly at herself, thumb caressing the knee under her hand.

“How long have you been holding him? He looks so content.” Bernie smiled a little shyly. “So do you.”

“About an hour. He hasn't cried once.” Serena breathed steadily and her eyes drifted down to Bernie's. “Such a sad set of circumstances.”

“Want to talk about it?” Bernie asked. Serena shrugged as Bernie winced a bit, stood still bent at the waist to pull one of the visitor’s chairs close to her.

“He was born at home. Midwife stuck in traffic due to the RTC on the A371. Friend was there, to help.” Serena sighed. “Called three nines when the friend noticed the mother was a bit confused. Pre-eclampsia. Apparently she had missed her last two pre-natal checks. BP was through the roof when she got here. She was delirious.” Bernie reached to hold Serena's upper arm, fingers rubbing the muscles. “Ironically, baby was … is perfectly fine.”

“Oh darling,” Bernie breathed, her fingers splayed against Serena's arm.

“I know …” Serena sighed again, a little shakily. “I know we did everything. I couldn't have done anything differently. But …”

“It's still very sad,” Bernie finished for her. Serena nodded. “Have you got work to do or …” Bernie squeezed her arm a last time before she stood, gesturing with a hand. “I don't mind taking him for a bit.”

“If you'd like to,” Serena said, standing slowly and holding him with both arms. “I still have the incident form to finish off.” Her voice took on that childlike tone. “And this little man is just far too distracting, aren't you?” They stood close together and passed the baby carefully between them. Bernie cooed a bit as she took him, passing a finger over his tiny cheek. His blue eyes stared up at her sleepily.

“Hey little guy,” Bernie whispered. “’S’okay. You can go back to sleep now.” She carried him to her own desk chair and settled herself in with him. Serena moved the bottle warner across the desk.

“Can you believe it? Had half of that already.”

“Strong little bugger then,” Bernie whispered, amused.

“Yep. Don't think we need to worry.”

Serena tapped at her keyboard whilst Bernie held the baby and rocked him. Serena stole glances round their monitors a couple of times, the last time getting caught by Bernie. “He's fine. I'm not going to break him.”

“It's not that,” Serena replied, pushing back a bit and letting her head drop to one side. “You just look so lovely together.”

“Do we?” Bernie asked, shy for a moment, dropping her gaze to the baby.

“Very natural,” Serena said, tone half teasing, half affectionate. “A bit adorable actually. I can barely keep my eyes off you.”

“Well he's a very … lovely baby,” Bernie murmured by way of an explanation, reaching to stroke his cheek again. Serena watched them a moment, a small smile on her lips, then shook herself and went back to her report.

When child services arrived half an hour later, Serena stood to greet them, shaking hands, professional as ever, then went to stand by Bernie. “Okay then, young man. Time to go.” She reached to tuck the blanket more firmly around him, pull his hat down half a millimetre onto his head. Bernie's eyes softened when she watched Serena's face, saw her breath hitch a bit. Bernie reluctantly handed the baby boy over to the lady from child services, patting the blanket by means of a goodbye.

“Good luck.” As the lady left, Serena's eyes became wet and she blinked a bit, arms wrapping around herself, turning away in embarrassment. Bernie noticed of course and reached to close the door, went to her and rubbed Serena's shoulder affectionately. “It's alright.”

“Oh for goodness sakes,” Serena moaned, swiping at her eyes and smiling despite herself. Bernie pulled her with an arm into a hug and Serena leant her forehead on Bernie's shoulder.

“It's alright,” Bernie murmured, leaving a kiss in her hair. Serena finally relented and slid her own arms around Bernie's waist. She hummed a bit, snuggling her cheek a little against Bernie's shoulder. “It's alright.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

That evening, Serena phoned Elinor. Elinor, uncharacteristically picked up. “Hi mum. What can I do you for?”

All appeared quiet in the background, for this Serena was glad. “Just calling to see how you are, Darling.” She sat back against the pillows of her bed.

“Yeah I'm good thanks,” Elinor replied, a smile in her voice. “How're you?”

“Oh you know. Same as usual. Work’s busy.”

“How's Bernie?” Serena smiled.

“Okay I think. She's downstairs making dinner.”

“You've finally let her use your kitchen?” There was amusement in Elinor’s voice and Serena chuckled. “Relationship goals, right there.”

“She's doing a stir-fry. Nothing too adventurous. She's teaching Jason.”

“That's great, Mum.” They were quiet for a moment. “Was there anything specific?”

“No,” Serena admitted, hoping her voice didn't sound too desperate or clingy. “We had a hard day and I fancied a chat with you.”

“Okay. Well, uni’s good. My housemates are having a party tonight so that'll be fun.”

“Make sure you clean up afterwards.”

“Yeah, Mum, I will.”

“You're okay, are you?” An exasperated sigh.

“Yes Mum.”

“Need anything?”

“I don't think so.”

“Okay.”

“Are you sure you're okay?” Serena sighed.

“Just … I love you Ellie.”

“Yep. Love you too.”

“Have a good time at the party.”

“Okay. Bye Mum.”

“Bye.”

Serena hung up feeling a little disappointed. Despite knowing deep down that her daughter was an adult, she'd hoped for Elinor to come up with at least one thing she needed her mother for.

*~*~*~*~*~*

A week later, it was the beginning of March. Daffodils and snowdrops were in full bloom, planted seemingly haphazardly, in drifts around Serena's garden. Bernie sipped her fresh coffee as she lounged in the wicker chair in the conservatory and grinned. She knew nothing in Serena's garden was haphazard; everything had been meticulously planted and arranged. She crossed her legs and watched a couple of sparrows fighting for a space to perch on the bird feeder.

When Serena came in, grey jogging bottoms and burgundy long-sleeved T-shirt adorning her curvy frame, she lifted her own newly-filled coffee cup in a toast. “Bathroom’s done. Is the washing hung?”

“Yep.”

“Lovely.”

Bernie reached to catch her hand before she could sit down in the other armchair. “Come sit in my lap?” Bernie requested. Serena raised an eyebrow, amused.

“I’ll crush you.” Bernie squeezed her hand and leant to put her own cup on the small table beside her.

“No you won't, come on.”

Serena gave her a look and rolled her eyes, finally relenting. Bernie slipped her arms round her middle as Serena sat across her legs sideways, then pulled her gently to lean against her. Serena chuckled and slid an arm round Bernie's neck. “Well this is dignified.”

“I don't care,” Bernie said a little smugly, squeezing Serena's waist.

“So, what's brought on this particular adolescent display of affection?” Serena asked, sipping her coffee.

“Just … fancied a cuddle.” Serena raised an eyebrow.

“Okay.” She frowned at Bernie's slightly abashed look. “What's the matter?”

“Been thinking.”

“Uh-oh.” Bernie smiled and shook her head.

“No. Good-thinking.”

“Right.”

Bernie paused for a bit, grimacing a bit at her nervousness. “I'd … like to take you away. A break somewhere.”

“A holiday?”

“Well, I haven't … been on holiday since the kids were small and …” She shrugged, unsure eyes staring up at Serena. “Last week. With the baby. I think we could use a break.” Serena smiled a softly at her. “What … um. What do you think?”

“It depends on where we go,” Serena replied honestly. Bernie nodded.

“Okay.” She narrowed her eyes a bit. “Camping?” Serena gave her a look that spoke volumes and she grinned. “Hmmm. Maybe not. What about a nice warm cabin. With a fire?”

“We have a fire here.”

“I know.” Bernie shrugged, her face falling. “Maybe it's a rotten idea.”

“What about a hotel?” Serena asked, trying to sound positive

“You don't feel like roughing it in the wilderness?” Bernie looked a bit disappointed. Serena considered.

“Okay. You win. A cabin.” At Bernie's beaming smile, she chuckled and dipped her head to leave a kiss against her lips. She pointed a finger sternly. “But I want good heating, hot water, fresh towels and a shop nearby that sells a good red.” Bernie nodded emphatically and Serena finished her coffee, putting her cup next to Bernie's. She leant against Bernie properly and snuck a kiss under her ear. Bernie rubbed round her waist.

“When d’you want to go?” Bernie asked.

“We’ll have to discuss it with Jason, but weekend after next we're both free. You can pick me up after work on Friday and we can have two nights away.” Serena smiled, eye glistening a bit. “Two whole nights away.”

“Mmm,” Bernie agreed, capturing her lips, kissing her with emotion and appreciation. Serena fingers threaded in Bernie's hair. By the time they broke apart, it was lunchtime.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Serena had packed the night before and Bernie wasn't surprised. There was no way Serena would allow Bernie to pack for her. Her stylish suitcase and matching travel bag was piled neatly by the door. She was due to leave work at five o'clock. Bernie eyed her own hold-all, with the scruffy zip and frayed handles. She'd had it for ever, since girl guides she realised with a smirk. Serena had taken one look at it, proclaimed it was too late now, but that she was taking her shopping as soon as they got back.

She dragged their luggage and the cool box with a few essentials in it, to Serena's car (hers was much too small for a holiday of any kind) and loaded them in. Serena had taken a taxi to work that morning. Bernie sat in, turned the radio from Serena's usual to something a bit more bouncy. She sang along as she drove.

Cameron had kindly agreed to take Jason out tomorrow, and they had arranged to go to the zoo, something he'd been talking about for months now. Bernie had explained their plans to go away to her son and had asked if he would merely look in on her adopted nephew on Saturday. Cameron had jumped at the chance, they always got on well, and had agreed to take him out for the whole of Saturday. Bernie had hugged him, a rare occurrence, but one that was becoming more frequent, and patted his back, telling him she was proud of him.

Bernie parked Serena's car carefully and rushed up to AAU, to find Serena saying goodbye to Fletch and Morven. Her face brightened when she caught sight of Bernie. “Ready?” Bernie asked, smiling at the others.

“Almost,” Serena replied, holding up a hand. She gave Bernie her handbag and rushed into their office to grab a plastic bag. “Nearly forgot this.” Bernie gave her a questioning look. “Something for tonight,” Serena said quietly. “See you later,” she told their colleagues, giving them all a wave.

They walked together off the ward and Bernie slipped an arm around Serena's waist. “So what did you get for tonight?”

“Chocolates,” Serena said. “And a new satnav. Mines given up the ghost in the last few weeks. Time for a replacement.”

“Oh. Okay,” Bernie said. “I was just going to follow a map.”

“Hmmm when did you become such a techno-phobe?” Serena asked, teasingly. Bernie shrugged.

“I don't trust the things,” Bernie admitted, giving her an apologetic look. “You hear stories about people driving into rivers and stuff.”

“It’ll be fine.”

“Suppose I'm a bit old fashioned.”

“This one,” Serena said, holding up the Argos bag she held, “has good reviews and is recommended by Which.”

“Ah,” Bernie replied, appeasingly, “must be good then.” Serena squeezed her a bit excitedly.

“You'd better have booked somewhere nice, Ms Wolfe,” she said for the hundredth time since Bernie had come up with the plan.

“Trust me. I'm a doctor.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour later, they were well and truly lost. Piercing looks being thrown between them. Set jaws. Bernie holding back from using the phrase ‘I told you so’. Serena pulling over in a huff and stabbing at the new device. “Make a U-turn where possible.”

“Oh shut up,” Serena said, resignedly, fingers to her forehead. Bernie looked at her knees. “You have a map?” Serena asked her, voice tired and frustrated, a little harsh perhaps.

“I do.”

“Right.” A pause. “Could you get it and look at it?” Serena turned the engine off and folded her arms over her seatbelt. “Do you think?”

“Fine.” Bernie got out the passenger’s side, routed around in the back seat. “Where are we?” she asked as she got back in. Serena gave her an indignant look.

“If I knew that…” Serena pointedly stared out her side window and gave Bernie a whole minute to pour over the paper maps. When Bernie didn't reply, but put the maps down on her lap, Serena pursed her lips. “So I'm going to assume we're lost.”

Bernie held out her hands. “I've no idea where we are.”

“How is that different from being lost?” Serena bit back, finally looking at her. Bernie squinted ahead. It was getting dark. They were parked on a wide main road in the country. No signs dotted the road ahead or behind them. Bernie lifted her phone.

“No signal.”

“Great.”

“Drive for a while?” Bernie requested, indicating the road in front of them. “Maybe we'll find somewhere that will give us an indication of where we are.” Serena huffed angrily. “Would you like me to drive?”

“No,” Serena clipped, turning the engine back on and putting the car into gear. Indicated, checked, pulled out and drove. .

Fifteen minutes later. “Where are all the bloody signs?”

“God knows,” Serena replied, sarcasm dripping through her gritted teeth. The Saab suddenly made an odd noise. Like a dragon that had eaten a sheep and it didn't agree with it. Then it cut out completely. Serena and Bernie stared at the road ahead as the car rolled to a stop. Serena gripped the steering wheel and dropped her forehead to rest against it.

“Did we run out of petrol?” Bernie asked, carefully.

“Are you kidding?” Serena replied, angrily. “Are you seriously suggesting I left my tank half full before beginning a hundred and fifty mile journey?” A pause.

“Did you?” Bernie asked.

“No I did not.”

Bernie leant over a little to apply the handbrake as Serena bumped her forehead in frustration against the steering wheel. She got out of the car and went round to the bonnet. She knocked on the windscreen and pointed downwards. Serena reached to pull the level to pop the hood.

Serena felt tears in her eyes. Damn it damn it damn it. Her car had always been reliable. Apart from that one time it had broken down before Ellie's play, and the time it had got stolen, although she couldn't really blame the car for the latter event. So, apart from those times. No trouble what so ever.

And now their lovely weekend away was ruined.

A few minutes later, Bernie dropped the bonnet back again and wiped her hands with a tissue. She stuffed the tissue into her pocket. Her hands followed. Serena stared at her through the windscreen, watched her shrug with her hands in her pockets. Serena rolled her eyes as Bernie sat back into the passenger seat and pulled the door closed. “So?” Bernie eyed her.

“I'm not a mechanic.”

“Shame.”

Bernie frowned and turned in her seat. “D’you mind? This isn't my car.”

“I'm fully aware of that.”

“It's also not my satnav.”

“Yes okay, thank you.”

“In fact, it would be accurate to say that none of this is my fault.”

“Right.”

“So stop treating me like it is.”

Serena undid her seatbelt and flopped backwards against her seat. “What do we do?” Serena asked, dejectedly.

Bernie noted the tired but less tense tone of her voice. She reached across to carefully take her hand and felt her own tension melt a little as Serena allowed her to. She interlinked their fingers and considered their options.

“I suppose we have two choices,” Bernie said gently. “The first: we stay in the car, wrap up warm and flag a lift down from the first car we see.” Bernie swallowed and considered the road, where not a single car had passed them since they'd broken down. It was dark and felt deserted. “The second: we grab our stuff and walk until we find a house.”

Serena rubbed her own shoulder and shivered. “I prefer the second option.”

“Glad we agree,” Bernie replied, a little flirting tone in her voice. Serena looked up then, a glint in her eyes despite the frown on her face. “Although cuddling up with you with the seats down does sound nice too.” Serena smiled despite herself. Bernie smiled back, squeezing her hand, leant forward and kissed her cheek. “Be okay,” she reassured the brunette. “You're with me, after all.”

“What could go wrong?” Serena chuckled, rolling her eyes and opening the car door.

Pulling their coats tight around them, they smiled a little at one another. Bernie reached to grab Serena's black sparkly scarf and wrapped it snugly around Serena's neck, allowing her fingers to linger a little against her skin. Serena smiled at the gesture. Grabbing their bags, they locked the car and started walking up the country road. Bernie switched on the emergency torch Serena had had stored sensibly in her boot. Bernie had Serena's two big car blankets over her arm, in case they needed to bunk down on someone's sofa, and her own hold-all thrown over her shoulder. She thought briefly to the throw Charlotte had given her for Christmas, folded neatly over the back of their sofa at home. It was softer than these scratchy ones, which were more suited to a picnic than sleeping underneath. Oh well, beggars, choosers, all that.

Serena was visibly struggling with both her own bags and the plastic bag containing the chocolates (and a secret bottle of red she'd also bought for their first night). Bernie held out her hand and Serena gave her the smaller carry-on bag. “Thank you,” Serena breathed, clearly embarrassed at not being able to carry all of her luggage. She took the torch from Bernie, held the beam steady on the road in front of them.

“No problem.”

They walked for a good twenty minutes. Serena checked her phone and huffed, stuffing it back into her pocket. “I can't believe there are places with no signal. In this day and age.”

“D’you remember that patient,” Bernie started, hooking her arm more comfortably around Serena's bag, flicking her fringe out of her eyes, “with electro-magnetic hyper-sensitivity?”

“Danny … something.”

“Yep.” Bernie gestured around her. “Wonder if he's living out here.”

“In the middle of Cornwall?”

“Well, perhaps he couldn't find anywhere close by with no wifi.”

“Maybe. Ah, look,” Serena said, pointing towards a house up a long dirt track.

“Civilisation, at last.” They quickened their pace up the path, Serena tripped a couple of times over loose rocks, and Bernie stepped in a large muddy puddle, but they made it to the farmhouse front door.

All around were outbuildings and huge storage barns, some in less than perfect condition. The small-holding was pitch black, not a single light on anywhere. A few machines and vehicles were littered about, but it was difficult to ascertain whether they had been abandoned or simply not used in a while, or if the cover of darkness made them seem disused. Bernie caught the smell of cows from somewhere but could hear no sign of animals, nowhere close anyway. All appeared still.

Serena knocked as loudly as she could. They waited. Serena pressed the bell, then knocked again. Nothing. Bernie stepped back, looking at the upstairs windows. “Hmm. No lights on.”

“Just our luck. They're probably out.” Bernie tried the door handle, but it was firmly locked.

“Or it's empty.” Serena's shoulders slumped. “Could you see another house anywhere nearby?”

“No.” Bernie dropped her hold-all onto the step and quickly put an arm around Serena's back.

“’S’okay. We’ll find somewhere to kip for the night.”

“I don't want to sleep in some filthy barn,” Serena hissed, looking around, the moonlight catching the tears in her eyes and making them sparkle.

“Let me see what I can do,” Bernie said gently, taking the torch from her and carefully lay Serena's bag on top of her own on the step. “Hang out here for a moment.”

“Okay,” Serena breathed into the night, a shaky element to her words.

Bernie stomped off in her walking boots, with the blanket still over her arm, and Serena watched her go, feeling a little alone without the torch. She set her suitcase on its feet and perched her backside on it, ears alert to any sound. The night was clear and chilly for March. The sky was clear too, cloudless and star-spattered. Serena picked out a few constellations she recognised. She never managed to see so many at home, street lamps and the light pollution of the city obscuring even the simplest or most bright.

Bernie was gone a good ten minutes before Serena heard her hissing across the yard. “Serena.” The torch beam bounced as Bernie trotted back over to her.

“Yep,” Serena replied, standing and grabbing her bag. “Let me guess, you found a very quaint and very much unlocked B and B with running water, a mini-bar and under-floor heating?”

“Not quite,” Bernie said, arriving on the step and grabbing their stuff. She was grinning in excitement. “Nearly as good though.”

Serena followed Bernie around the side of a large barn, realising the blankets had disappeared from Bernie's clutch. She idly hoped the blonde hadn't lost their source of warmth, the two faithful things they could use to stave off the risk of being found two frozen bodies huddled together, dusky blue.

Bernie led Serena through a smaller door at the back of the barn, pulling it closed behind them. She turned the torch onto the ‘lantern’ setting and placed it on a wooden box. It illuminated the large storage barn, which held a huge pile of straw bales along one side, almost up to the ceiling.

Serena's gaze dropped down to a single, untied bale, which had been teased apart to make a messy but relatively flat area, the car blankets splayed over it like a bed, the top one turned over invitingly. Against the opposite wall stood various tables and chairs, a couple of worn cupboards with tools in. And a small oil radiator, which appeared to be plugged in and, thankfully, turned on. It looked like it had been moved over towards their make-shift bed.

“It's not a campfire, but I would think the health and safety implications of having a fire with all this straw …” Bernie held out a hand. Serena dropped her suitcase heavily to the floor and sighed. “Over there is a sink. And there's a toilet behind that door.” Serena walked silently over to the small room, big enough for literally a dusty toilet, although she did notice that it had toilet paper. “Must be for the staff.”

Serena nodded. Bernie swallowed and went to stand by the radiator, as Serena walked dejectedly back towards her. Bernie held her hands out, warming them, feeling miserable.

“Is it okay?” Bernie asked, anxiously, looking around for anything else that might help, that might make the space more homely for the woman before her.

Sighing, Serena nodded and wrapped her arms around herself. “Well, it's not the Ritz. But I suspect it will do.” When she turned to look at Bernie, there was deep affection in her eyes. “I'm aware you wanted to ‘rough it’, so to speak.”

“What I wanted was to take you away somewhere you'd like,” Bernie said, looking down at her hands as they warmed. “Best laid plans, hey?”

“Indeed.” They both jumped as something small and furry skittered into a corner. “Oh goodie,” Serena said, but Bernie detected a touch of amusement in her voice. “Thank you,” Serena said, finally smiling a bit and scanning the barn with renewed interest. “For making it nice.”

“You're very welcome,” Bernie replied, relieved, stepping up behind Serena and laying her chin on her shoulder. She kissed the side of Serena's neck and Serena chuckled a bit.

“So, there’s power at least,” Serena mused, looking towards the radiator. “Can't be abandoned.”

“They must be away,” Bernie said into Serena's neck, arms wrapped around her waist, hands resting on the soft curve of her belly through her coat. “Do farmers go away?”

“I've no idea I've never asked one.”

“They must take some time out for themselves sometimes, surely.”

“Oh,” Serena said, remembering and breaking away from Bernie's embrace. She went to the plastic bag, earlier discarded when she'd entered the barn, and reached inside to hold up the bottle of wine. “Figured if anyone was here we could offer it as payment for a room and some breakfast.”

“Oh shame,” Bernie said, grinning. “No one to give it to.”

“We’ll have to drink it ourselves.” Serena looked around. “No glasses though.”

Bernie went to the sink and held up two black coffee mugs. “We shall simply have to rough it, as you put it.”

“Would ‘roughing it’ extend to eating twenty pounds worth of Thornton’s chocolates too?” Serena pulled them out of the bag as Bernie rinsed out the mugs in the sink and brought them over.

“When you add to the meal the bag of emergency Doritos that I've stashed in my hold-all, I expect so.” Serena lowered herself onto their make-shift bed and chuckled a bit.

“Emergency?” Bernie shrugged.

“You never know. The shop by the cabin might have been out of Doritos.”

“Ha. Well, I suppose I can now officially call you my little girl guide.”

Bernie sat next to her on the blankets and patted the straw beneath. “Not bad for a rookie in straw-bed-making.”

‘What the hell,’ Serena thought to herself. ‘She's tried so hard to make it nice for me. Might as well give her credit where credit’s due.’

“Not bad at all,” Serena replied, unscrewing the wine and holding it snug between her knees as Bernie leant over to open her hold-all. “What about pillows?”

Bernie pulled the huge packet of triangular snacks from her bag, before shrugging off her own coat and balling it up. She placed it on Serena's side of the bed, the right, as always. “One pillow, as the lady ordered.”

“Lovely.”

“Dinner tonight was going to be pizza, wasn't it?” Bernie asked, crossing her legs and yanking open the Doritos.

“Yup. Fresh from Dominoes.” Bernie's shoulders slumped a bit, but she tried to put on a brave face.

“If only we had salsa dip. Then this would really be a party.” Serena eyed her, realised how miserable Bernie felt about the whole thing.

“It's okay, really. Top points for making the best out of a bad situation, Bernie.” She reached to smooth her palm against Bernie's upper arm. Her hand moved up, to stroke her shoulder, then fingers tangled in her hair. She used her childlike voice. “Would it make it all better if I admitted that it's all my fault?”

A tiny smile played with the edges of Bernie's mouth. “Hmm. A bit.”

“Well then, it’s all my fault, I haven't had my car serviced for over a year and it made an odd sound last week that I should have had checked out.” Bernie's lips caught hers in an enthusiastic kiss and Serena giggled against her, both hands sliding around her neck. When they broke away, they were both grinning.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie looked at her watch; it was eleven o'clock. They'd finished the wine and found a suitably comfortable cuddling position under the top blanket, with Bernie on her back and Serena curled up at her side, the blanket firmly tucked around her back. Serena had taken off her coat and laid it over the blanket at their feet. Bernie had buried the bag of Doritos in her zipped up hold-all tightly. No need for their rodent friends to get any ideas and steal their breakfast whilst they slept.

Bernie had turned off the torch and they lay together in the gentle moonlight. There were large windows near the ceiling; they could see the stars through them, the night sky.

“So, were you a girl guide?” Bernie asked. Serena snorted.

“No. My mother considered that kind of thing counter productive for an independent young woman. You?”

“Brownies, girl guides, army cadets…”

“Of course.”

“My father was in the military, his father before him.” Serena nodded against her shoulder. “Had some brilliant camping trips though. Good fun.” Bernie chuckled a bit. “We had this one guide leader who was just lovely. Her name was Kirsty. She was young, and pretty, and very nice. Training to be a nurse and the resident first aider. The girls used to get injured on purpose just so she'd look after them.”

“And you never did that,” Serena replied, a curious look in her eyes.

“Oh no.” Bernie pursed her lips. “Never.” They chuckled a bit. “Did you … um.”

“Um?”

“Have any … female crushes?”

“I don't think so.” Serena thought for a moment. “Actually…”

“Yes?”

“Now I think about it there was this teacher, Mrs Parker, very nice eyes. Let me stay sometimes after biology. I believe the reason I was so interested in the subject was the way she said ‘osmosis’.”

“And it … wasn't clear back then?”

“Clear as soup,” Serena shrugged. “I suppose it never occurred to me.”

“Shame.”

“Well, you can hardly talk. One relationship with a woman in what, say, thirty-five years.”

“Two, actually.”

Serena blinked. “You've never told me that,” she replied, smiling, smoothing a gentle hand around Bernie's middle.

“Well, it wasn't really a proper thing … we were fifteen.”

“Hmm,” Serena hummed, kissing Bernie's jaw lightly. “Spill, Major Wolfe.”

“Francesca. Same year as me. Brown hair, dark eyes. Great smile.”

“School?”

“Yep. We used to hold hands in detention.”

“You got detention?”

“I got the ruler once.” She rubbed her own knuckles, biting her lip. “Mouthy teenager.”

“Did you ever get caught?” Serena asked softly, hand still caressing Bernie's tummy.

“Nope. Think people just assumed we were friends.”

“Did you do things that made you more than friends?”

“Kissed a few times. Practising, you know.”

“Hmmm.”

“Lay on top of her once. That was nice.” Bernie turned to her, eyes reminiscent. A little sad perhaps. “So, were you in any clubs as a girl?” Bernie asked, changing the subject a bit.

“A few singing groups. Debate club. Editor for the school magazine.”

“Aha. A girl with something to say.”

“Well, I had a very forthright and confident mother to impress.”

“No outdoor activities?”

“I think I played netball at secondary school. For perhaps a week.” Serena squeezed her. “I've never been that interested in sports. You?”

“Hockey and football. Did a bit of rock climbing with guides. Dad used to take me and my brothers fishing.” Serena's hand tickled against Bernie's shoulder.

“Hmm. You never speak about your brothers.”

“We're not really close. They both live overseas and without parents to keep us together we just sort of drifted.” Serena made a noise of sympathy in her throat, snuggled her cheek against Bernie's shoulder a little. She was aware that both Bernie's parents were dead: her father to heart failure and her mother a few months later, to ovarian cancer.

“Do you want to get back in touch?” Serena asked, gently.

“Maybe. They know Marcus and I are divorced – Cam writes to Liam, and he and Benjamin write to each other.” Bernie shrugged.

Serena tried not to smile but the temptation was too great not to tease. “Ben and Liam. They got off lightly.” Bernie turned her head towards her, eyebrow raised.

“What're you saying?”

“That ‘Berenice’ is somewhat … different. I mean, if you're going to name your children odd things then spread it out evenly. Don't just pick on one kid.” Bernie rolled over to pin her to the straw, hands pushing Serena's hands into the blanket beneath them, by her shoulders.

“And I suppose ‘Serena’ is quite everyday.”

“More so than ‘Berenice’,” Serena countered, eyes widening a bit as she squirmed Bernie's hands. “And don't get me started on your middle name.”

Bernie lowered her lips to Serena's in an effort to shut her up more than anything else. She tasted cheesy crisps mixed with Shiraz. It was rather delicious. Serena returned the kiss with vigour and felt Bernie soften a little, hands on her own letting up slightly. Rather than let her go, Bernie grasped her fingers and pulled her hands up above her head, moving to hold them both with her right hand, whilst leaning on the elbow of her left. “This okay?” she whispered as she dropped her lips to Serena's neck.

“Well …”

“What?” Bernie’s head shot up, she let her go at her hesitation and frowned down at her. “I'm sorry.”

“I just think …” Serena blushed a bit and looked around the dark barn. “We’re in the middle of nowhere. In a barn that does not belong to either of us. With who knows what wildlife ready to crawl across us at any moment.” Bernie visibly relaxed and smiled. “And, we don't know whether the farmer will return tonight.”

“Brandishing a pitch fork and ready to tie the evil lesbians to a stake in punishment?” Serena sighed, flustered. “Okay, okay,” Bernie said, relenting, “no sex in the barn. That's fine.”

“Anyway. It's far too cold,” Serena argued, despite Bernie already surrendering. “I'm not taking a single layer off.”

Bernie raised an eyebrow. “Kissing okay?” she asked, lowering her lips back to Serena's neck.

“I should think so,” Serena replied, hands going to Bernie's neck and fingers threading through her hair.

“But no sex.”

“No sex.”

“Right then.” Bernie kissed the brunette’s neck, sucking the skin by her shoulder a bit, smiling at the sharp intake of breath it caused. They kissed again, slowly, happily, chuckling when their movements made the straw rustle underneath them.

Serena flicked up her eyebrows, towards the large windows framing the stars above them. “Are you aware that there is a constellation of stars named after you?” Bernie frowned.

“I thought you named your star after your mother?”

“No, I mean officially. There’s a constellation called Coma Berenices.”

“Is there?” Bernie leant on one elbow and her hair fell in front of her eyes. Serena pushed it back behind her ears and smiled up at her.

“There's a story.”

Bernie grinned and lay down against Serena's side, hand slipping to rest, fingers curled loosely, between Serena's breasts. “Of course there's a story.”

“Its name means ‘Berenice's Hair’ and refers to Queen Berenice the second of Egypt, who sacrificed her long hair as a votive offering to Venus.”

“Did she?”

“She did. For the safe return of Ptolemy from the Third Syrian war.”

“Interesting. Did it work?”

“I've no idea. That's the extent of my knowledge on the subject.” Bernie turned up to the windows and peered.

“Can you see the stars from here?”

“The moon’s too bright tonight.”

“Ah. Right.” Bernie hummed against Serena's neck, kissed her there a little. “I only know … one myth.”

“Tell me?” Serena breathed, sliding an arm around Bernie's back, tickling up and down her spine.

“It's not the happiest of stories.”

“That's okay.”

“Okay.” Bernie swallowed, giving her neck one last kiss, before settling against her, fingertips tickling a little at her cleavage, on top of the burgundy knit jumper she wore. “So, Orpheus was a pretty great musician. His wife was called Eurydice, but she was attracted to Aristaeus, or he was attracted to her, I can't remember. Anyway, Aristaeus pursued her until she stepped on a poisonous snake and was forced into the underworld.”

“Oh, that must have been a pain.”

“Yep,” Bernie said, smiling at Serena's understatement. “Orpheus was determined to retrieve the woman he loved. So, he journeyed down to the underworld, by lulling to sleep Cerberus, the three-headed watchdog, who I'm sorry was totally plagiarised by that Harry Potter woman.” Serena chuckled, felt Bernie's hand idly move to her breast, through the jumper, shirt and the padding of her bra. She inhaled and continued to tickle Bernie's back.

Bernie continued. “He encountered Hades, who initially refused to release Eurydice, but Orpheus's music was liked a lot by Persephone - that's Hades’s wife - and she pleaded Orpheus's case, and Hades relented.”

“Fantastic,” Serena said.

“There was one condition though: Orpheus could not look back on their way out. Of course, Orpheus was worried that Eurydice was not behind him, that she'd got lost or been taken back by Hades, and he stole a glance back to see if she was still there. And she disappeared into the underworld, went back to Hades, and he lost her forever.”

“Oh,” Serena said, bending her arm to caress Bernie's hair, her eyes sorrow-filled. “That is very sad.”

“Unable to live without her,” Bernie murmured, her hand creeping down to slip under Serena's jumper, then her shirt, sliding up the soft swell of her belly, to touch the edge of her bra, “Orpheus spent the rest of his days wandering in aimless sorrow…” Bernie's fingers pushed Serena's bra up, fingers cupping warm flesh, knuckles brushing her nipple. Serena gasped, felt the heat flood down between her legs. “…before he was finally murdered by the drunken followers of Dionysus.”

Tears in her eyes, Serena reached up to pull Bernie down to her and kiss her. Bernie's moan of surprise was caught between them, and Serena pulled at her until she lay with a thigh between Serena's, fingers teasing that nipple. Tongues duelled, teeth grazed, hands wandered under clothing. Bernie breathed out a laugh as they broke for air. “What happened to the ‘no sex in the barn’ rule?” Bernie asked, her lips nipping at Serena's chin.

“You started it.”

“So, is the rule null and void?”

“I'm not taking any layers off,” Serena replied, breathily, without answering her question.

“Hmm,” Bernie said, leaning down to suck at Serena's throat. Serena gasped, held her head to her. “I'm always up for a challenge.” She pulled back to look down at Serena, double check it was all okay with her. “Oh, darlin’,” she murmured when she saw the tears trickling down Serena's cheeks and into her hair.

“I'm fine,” Serena breathed, sniffed a bit, closing her eyes as Bernie kissed the tears from her face.

“I did warn you it was a sad story.”

“I know. Just promise me though,” Serena said, holding Bernie's jaw, and holding her gaze. “If you have to come rescue me, and you need to not look behind you …”

“… I’ll hold onto your hand. So I know you're there.”

“And I won't let go,” Serena promised. They kissed again and Bernie relished in the feeling of Serena's soft soft breast in her hand, the bud of her nipple between her fingertips. Serena's hands, in turn, reached up the back of Bernie's jumper and T-shirt, unhooking her bra quickly, before her nails scraped against Bernie's back. Those fingers slipped around front to cup and squeeze Bernie's breasts, thumbs rubbing a little at the nipples already hard from arousal.

Bernie pulled the scratchy blanket around her shoulders so that they were both covered and warm. She slid her hand carefully down Serena's belly, tracing a circle around her navel for a moment, which made Serena shiver and smile, before slowly unbuttoning her trousers. Eyes searching Serena's, she waited for Serena’s smile of encouragement before going any further. She slipped her hand beneath the waistband and their lips sought each other again as Bernie's fingers crept over her underwear. “This feels …” Serena swallowed, took a breath. “… like we're …”

“Behind a bus shelter?” Serena pushed up with her hips as Bernie cupped her through the cotton.

Serena's eyes were a little mischievous. “Like we're having a quick grope behind the bike sheds or something.”

“Like were bunking off school?” Bernie asked, experimentally. “Like our teachers are wondering where we are?”

“Like … we were in the middle of cross-country. Freezing cold. Oh,” Serena gasped as Bernie's fingers worked their way under the elastic of her pants, slipped gentle through the wetness they found. “And we've come across this barn. In the middle of nowhere.”

“Anyone could find us,” Bernie whispered, lips dancing on Serena's neck, grinning at the game. “Anyone could just walk in. We'll get detention, Serena.”

“I don't care,” Serena breathed, hands smoothing against Bernie's breasts, then moving downwards, such soft skin. Bernie's belt and the top button of her trousers were a challenge to undo, especially with how Bernie was touching her right now, but she managed it and her hands slipped down. Bernie smiled as Serena's fingers found her clit and rubbed back and forth.

Hands trapped within tight trousers, they found their movements were limited and the inability to part thighs properly or lay against one another was somewhat constricting. But it was exciting. Grinning eyes met, lips teased. Hips twitched in time with movements of fingertips and Serena swallowed. “So, did you finish that homework?” she asked, eyebrows flicking up. Bernie chuckled and hummed against her lips.

“Yep.” Bernie sped her fingers up and Serena inhaled deeply, aware that the barn probably wasn't soundproof. “Helped to have yours to copy.”

Serena giggled, shuddering with pleasure, eyes half shuttered. “Good.”

“And I've got something to tell you.”

“What's that?”

“I think I might like girls.”

“Is that so?” Serena gasped, feeling Bernie's hand on her, fingertips curling as far as they could get. “Me too.”

The game was obscured by an inability of them both to form sentences let alone continue a school girl role-play. Serena realised to herself that her earlier assessment of how cold is was now wasn't exactly an issue, although she couldn't do much about it, her body seemingly having been taken over by a horny teenager. The horny teenager being Bernie.

Serena gasped as Bernie's fingertip found the perfect place, and the perfect pressure and this, how romantic, she realised, the perfect place, a Goddamn barn for goodness sakes like some kind of trashy novel, and of course the perfect person. She stretched back, her own fingers fluttering against Bernie's clit, wrist aching with the constricted angle, but she didn't care, didn't care at all. Their faces were close together, Bernie's head in her hand, elbow against the straw, watching Serena as she touched her and was touched.

Bernie's eyes were crinkling in that way they did, and her breaths were coming sharp and fast and her stomach muscles were clenching in that way that meant…

And they were twitching and moaning and oh God it was good and it had happened together which to be honest never happened, well maybe just that once. And Serena felt everything at once everywhere and arched her back and gripped the blanket beneath them with her free hand. Bernie leant to kiss her neck, lips haphazard but desperate to taste her skin as she shook hard.

Eventually, hands crept wetly from out of their clothes, gripped each other, lips found each other and the kiss was gentle.

“We shouldn't have done that,” Bernie whispered, lips a hairs width from Serena's own.

“What?”

“The PE teacher could have found us,” Bernie hissed, humour in her eyes. Serena's face broke into a grin. She reached to brush Bernie's hair back, then just stroked her face gently as she lay against her shoulder.

“I think I'd like to have known you at school.”

“Would you?” Bernie asked, curiously.

“I'm sure you wouldn't have been friends with me though.”

“I would,” Bernie argued.

“I wasn't the … coolest student.”

“I bet you were adorable.”

“Maybe in a … an awkward … bookish way.” Serena grinned again as she felt Bernie's arms cuddling her, hands sweeping her hip and under her shoulder.

“Sounds adorable to me.” Happy sighs and occasional twitches occupied the new few moments. Then Serena shifted a bit, uncomfortably.

“I can't sleep in these clothes.” Bernie laughed then, that whooping laugh that tickled Serena everywhere and brought about her own giggles. Bernie chose not to bring up the fact that it had been Serena's decision to stay in their clothes.

“Yeah. I'm with you there.” She squeezed Serena warmly, kissed under her chin, then sat up. “Go use the bathroom. I'll keep watch.” Serena kissed her cheek, hand warm against her jaw. She rolled onto her knees, grabbing the waist band of her trousers as she stood. Bernie pursed her lips, trying not to grin. Serena looked adorable. Bra out of place, trousers hanging off her hips. She put a hand to her mouth, tried to cover her delight, but Serena of course noticed and threw her a mock-annoyed look.

After collecting clean clothes from their luggage and changing (and washing up) in the toilet, first Serena, then Bernie, they snuggled back under the blanket. Serena had put on the biggest (in Bernie's opinion) and most fluffy jumper Bernie had ever seen, but had left her bra off underneath it. Bernie was currently snuggling her cheek into Serena's breast, cupping the other in her palm, whilst Serena chuckled affectionately and stroked her hair. “If you're trying to start something again,” Ms Wolfe…”

“No,” Bernie said, immediately lifting her head and removing her hand, eyes apologetic. “I'm sorry.”

Serena coaxed her back down. “It's okay. I was kidding. It's nice.”

“Just … I've always liked a soft pillow,” Bernie admitted, a hint of teasing in her voice.

“Well I suppose I should take it as a compliment.”

“You definitely should,” Bernie said, nodding against her chest. Serena kissed the top of her head. They were silent for a while, both of them closed their eyes, listening for a minute or two to the sounds of the night. The creaking of the barn in the wind. The various animals still shifting under the straw. The clicking of the radiator as it ticked on and off. In the end, Bernie broke the silence. “I've been thinking,” she whispered.

“Mmmhmm?”

“I've been wanting to check actually. That you're okay.”

“Okay?” Bernie's hand slid down to Serena's waist and smoothed around, cuddling her close.

“The baby. By which I mean … you were upset. When we had to say goodbye.”

“Oh Bernie,” Serena scoffed gently.

“And the way you looked with him.” Bernie swallowed a little nervously and Serena noticed her tension, squeezed her. “Just want to make sure you're okay.”

Serena breathed for a moment. “I phoned Elinor that evening,” she admitted, slowly. “I'm not sure what I was hoping for. Perhaps a moment of her needing me, or … I don't know. Holding that tiny little life … I suppose it must have been a surge of hormones or … I'm not sure.”

“Did you want more children?”

“If you'd have asked me twenty years ago … I would have probably brushed you off. I was focussed on my career. Elinor wasn't exactly an accident but … she just sort of happened. And we decided well … might as well go for it. Children were in our plan.”

“I understand,” Bernie said, lifting her head and resting her forehead in her hand. She smiled down at Serena. “Kids were very much in Marcus’s plan. I just sort of defaulted to him.” She touched Serena's chin, that lovely dimple. “How d’you feel now?”

“Now I have Jason. And I have you. And … ninety-nine percent of the time everything is wonderful and I wouldn't want to change it for the world.”

“Until a tiny little life, a life that needs loving and has no one, ends up in your arms, and your hormones go haywire, and you miss being needed?”

“How'd you do that?” Serena asked, smiling up at the blonde affectionately.

“What?”

“Know … what I'm thinking?” She sniffed a bit and Bernie was horrified to see tears in her eyes. “No one has ever done that.”

Bernie shrugged, just leant down to kiss her gently. Her hand moved up again, but stayed motionless against Serena's breast.

“So. You're okay?” Serena smiled as they broke apart and patted Bernie's cheek.

“I think I'll live.”

“Good.” They smiled at each other and Bernie's fingers swiped a singular tear from Serena's cheek. “And, for what it's worth, if I could get you pregnant in the traditional way, and we were fifteen years younger, I really would.” Serena laughed, pulled her down for another soft kiss.

“Like that film,” Serena murmured, guiding Bernie down against her chest again, placing her own hand against Bernie's hand on her breast. “’I don't have sperm’.” Her attempt at an American accent was impeccable, even for someone who had lived in the states..

“I don't have sperm,” Bernie agreed quietly, snuggling her cheek back against the heavenly softness again, of the knit of the jumper and the swell of flesh, exhaling deeply and closing her eyes. Serena's fingers filtered through her hair gently and pulled her into a state of near sleep.

“I love you,” Serena whispered into Bernie's hair.

“Mmm. Love you too.”

Outside, the wind whipped the trees and clattered the occasional piece of corrugated metal, but the two in the barn slept soundly, the noises outside barely registering. A light turned on in the upstairs window of the farm house. A face appeared at the window, a hand holding back the curtain.

*~*~*~*~*~*

 

 

 


	15. Strength Lies In Nights Of Peaceful Slumbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the cliffhanger in the last chapter but I couldn't resist. This will be the last chapter, I think. I've run out of positions and these ladies just will NOT PUT ONE ANOTHER DOWN. So that's it, thanks for reading. Perhaps I'll start another at some point. Who knows.

*~*~*~*~*~*

They'd shifted around, on their straw-make-shift-bed in the night. Serena was wrapped up against Bernie's back, nose in the back of her hair, arm over her ribs, under Bernie's arm, hand flat against her sternum. Bernie's fingertips were gently clawed between Serena's, her palm holding Serena's hand to her chest. Serena had a leg thrown between Bernie's. They breathed together.

Bernie, always the lighter sleeper, sat up with a jolt as the small door creaked open, shards of sunlight streaming through, and a woman in a red and blue checked shirt and mousy thick hair tied up neatly in a ponytail poked her head through. Serena groaned and tried to pull Bernie back down into the comfortable cocoon they had created between their two blankets, but Bernie patted her arm in anxiety and she woke up properly.

Two sets of brown eyes widened, stared at the woman stood in the doorway. There was a pause. Then the woman turn to shout outside, in a strong South American accent: “Chuck, our God damn barn caught another couple of lesbos!”

Brown eyes widened even further and Serena unconsciously clutched at Bernie, hands on her arms.

The woman relented, Cornwall accent taking her words and making them more friendly than her sarcastic tone probably intended. “Always wanted to say something like that,” she said. She stepped further into the barn and held two mugs of something steaming, in one hand. “I'm assuming you drink tea?” Serena and Bernie didn't respond, simply stared open-mouthed at the woman. The woman stepped into the barn and moved towards the couple and their straw construction. “Nice camp-bed, by the way.”

The woman pulled a wooden box over to the bed and set the mugs onto it. Serena shook herself inwardly and remembered her manners. “Thank you,” she said hoarsely, cleared her throat and knelt up behind Bernie, reaching to take a mug.

“I'm Sally. My wife's making breakfast if you like.” She smiled kindly at them. “I'm assuming you got stranded and decided to use my barn as a temporary hotel?”

“Er…” Bernie said. She just stared. Serena tried not to smirk, held out a hand towards Sally.

“Serena. And this overwhelmingly chatty lady here is Bernie.” Bernie turned towards Serena. Serena shook Sally's hand, then grinned at Bernie and rubbed her back.

“Sorry. Yep. Bernie,” Bernie said, offering a hand as well. Sally chuckled a bit.

“Saw you guys all curled up when I got up to feed the chickens. They eat early.” Serena blushed and looked away. “Don't worry. Good job my nephew Kieron didn't find you. He screams like a girl. He’s not here today.”

“We're very sorry,” Serena said. “We got lost, then my car broke down. No phone signal. We did knock. I'm guessing you were out?”

“Five month old baby,” Sally explained. “Sorry. We unplugged the doorbell. Keep getting the God Squad visiting at stupid o'clock. Waking him up, morons.”

“Ah,” Serena said, smiling warmly and sipping at the tea. “Fair enough.”

“Hope the accommodation was satisfactory. If you'd like to leave a review, I'll put you in touch with Daisy the cow, who will happily collect you information.”

“Not on TripAdvisor?” Serena said, grinning.

“No.”

“Okay.”

Bernie finally smiled and Serena handed her the other mug of tea. “Seriously, though. Bring all your stuff into the house. Join us for breakfast. Bacon and fresh eggs from the girls.” Serena caught a clucking from outside, hens roaming around in the cool spring sunshine.

“That would be lovely, thank you,” Serena replied, wrapping her hands around the mug, sleeves of her big and fluffy jumper dropping down over her fingers.

“And whilst we're eating, you can tell me where you got that jumper. It's lush.” Serena blushed a little shyly, smiled though and nodded. Sally left the barn, a wave over her shoulder, and closed the door behind herself.

“Lush,” Bernie said, slipping a careful arm around Serena back. “It is quite lush.” Serena giggled and sipped her tea, eyes shining in bashful glee.

“Oh shush,” she hissed to Bernie.

After finishing their tea, collecting up all their things and repacking (and, Serena remembered with horror, sorting the no-bra situation), Serena and Bernie trouped towards the farmhouse. They passed a couple of chickens pecking at the floor, to which Bernie offered a greeting much to Serena's amusement. Serena knocked on the door, which was opened immediately by Sally, a baby bottle in her hand and a baby in her arms. “Come in, come in,” she said, pointing over the the woman brandishing a spatula. “That's Laura.”

“Hello!” the other woman called, hair in a bob and dyed bright orange, making to swipe Sally on the backside with the spatula.

The kitchen was muddled and eclectic. Pans hung up and placed on shelves, utensil pots here there and everywhere containing a large collection of long-handled items. The walls were deep red and the tiles above the work surface a pale blue and white. The countertops were wooden and were spattered with burn marks. The cooker was old, marked, but reasonably clean. In the centre of the room was a huge oak table, with a large solid chair at one end and benches either side.

On the window ledge was a haphazard line of potted herbs, some dead, some overgrown.

“Just dump your stuff over there.” Laura waved randomly towards the hallway so Serena and Bernie took their bags and set them as neatly as they could at the bottom of the stairs. As they returned to the kitchen, Serena smiled at the baby.

“Who's this?”

“This, my fine friends, is Mr Leo. He is five months old and the consequence of three attempts at IUI.”

“Sal, they do not want to know,” Laura said, shaking her head at the eggs she was getting out of the fridge.

“Everyone always asks eventually,” Sally said shrugging, going to sit in the one big wooden chair at the table and giving Leo the bottle again. She grinned at Bernie and Serena. “You were wondering, right?” Serena shrugged and rolled her eyes appeasingly. “You understand what IUI is?”

“They don't want to know that either,” Laura chastised, her voice sort of sing-song-like, cracking eggs into a pan and beginning to fry them.

“Actually, as it turns out …” Bernie started.

“Were both surgeons.” Serena finished, grimacing a bit apologetically.

“Ooooh. There you go then.”

“Any chance you have a landline I could borrow?” Serena asked, biting her bottom lip in an attempt to change the subject. “Need to phone my breakdown service.”

“After breakfast,” Sally said. “Won't be anyone available yet. Not round here.” Serena nodded. Bernie narrowed her eyes in curiosity.

“So … the baby…”

“Leo,” Sally agreed, bouncing him a bit as she fed him. Laura started plating up their breakfasts.

“He's … biologically I mean… yours?”

“Actually, I carried him,” Laura replied, handing out their breakfasts as Serena and Bernie sat next to each other on a wooden bench.

“Great,” Bernie replied, smiling genuinely. Serena smiled gently at her and felt pleased she was showing interest. “And … legally?”

“He has two mothers,” Sally replied. “Don't you dude?”

“Anonymous donor?”

“Oh yeah,” Laura said, grimacing a bit. “Can you imagine getting it off a friend?” Serena out a hand to her mouth and tried not to laugh. “Yyyyyuck.”

“Probably not the most dignified of conversations,” Bernie said, chuckling.

“You guys have kids?” Sally asked, shifting Leo to one arm and waiting eagerly for her plate.

“Grown up daughter, and a live-in nephew,” Serena said, inhaling deeply and not feeling surprised when her stomach rumbled.

“And I have one of each. Twenty-one and twenty-six.”

“From previous … relationships,” Serena explained.

“Been married five years,” Laura said, sitting down across from them on the other bench and picking up her knife and fork. “Been here a few months. Inherited from my dad. Still finding our feet with the livestock.”

“Cows and chickens?” Bernie asked.

“Yep. Got a few geese as well. Surprised you didn't hear them.”

“We slept pretty soundly,” Bernie replied politely. Serena gave her a look. Sally snorted. Laura raised an eyebrow.

“Oh did you?” Laura asked. Serena looked away, wide-eyed and blushing.

“Anyway,” Bernie said, smiling shocked at them both. “Er. This looks great.”

“Tuck in,” Laura said, mouth already full of bacon. “Crumbs, you're not veggie are you?”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Breakfast over and tummies full of something other than chocolate and Dorito crisps, Serena sat on the stairs in the hallway with her breakdown cover card and called the company. Bernie helped dry the dishes, handing them to Laura to put away. “So, do you have a background in agriculture?”

“I do,” Laura said, hanging up a large frying pan under the shelf on the wall. “We did live here a while whilst dad was ill. Helped out.” She grinned at Sally. “Not sure you quite knew what you were getting yourself into.”

“I'm a primary school teacher,” Sally explained, passing Bernie a soapy chopping board for her to dry.

“We sold most of the cows after dad died. The farm had been doing well but we just don't have the time for a large herd. And with Leo as well.” She waved affectionately at the baby, who was snoozing in his bouncer on the floor. “Our nephew Kieron helps when he's not at college.”

“Must be a big thing, taking on such a business,” Bernie said, a bit enthralled at it all.

“Yeah it was. I think we've just about got it sussed,” Laura said, taking the chopping board from Bernie and leaning it against the tiles. “There. All done.” Sally dried her hands on the tea towel Bernie held.

The women seemed to be in their late thirties, had a few piercings, and Laura had a tattoo on the back of her neck. Bernie didn't want to look too closely but could see it was some sort of spirally tribal shape. Serena came in from the hallway and sighed. “Be about three hours. Apparently today is the day to break down.”

“Ah,” Bernie said, going to her to rub her shoulder in sympathy, “but we broke down yesterday.”

“We are such rebels,” Serena said to Bernie, then glanced over to Leo, who was peeking open an eye and stretching out a hand.

“Coffee?” Laura asked Sally, who nodded. Laura went to him and undid his bouncer so she could pick him up. He patted his hands against her shoulder.

“So, married?” Sally asked, grabbing the kettle to fill it at the sink.

“Not to each other,” Bernie said and then blinked. “Oh,” she said laughing a bit, “actually not to anyone.” She smiled at Serena apologetically, but Serena just smiled at her and shook her head, sucking on her bottom lip in amusement.

“You were married?” Sally asked, tucking her brown hair behind her ear and collecting together four clean mugs and a large jar full of coffee beans.

“I suppose you could say we both were,” Serena said, hands resting on the work surface as she leant back against it. “Bernie slightly more recently.”

“My divorce was finalised a month ago nearly,” Bernie explained, a little shyly.

“You?” Sally asked Serena.

“Oh, a long time ago,” Serena replied. “Nearly twenty years now.”

“So your Triple Ls?” Laura said, bouncing back and forth with Leo.

“Triple what?” Serena asked, a little amused.

“Later in Life Lesbians.” Sally shrugged and ground the coffee in the electric grinder. “Everyone want milk?” Serena and Bernie both nodded. “Go sit down guys, I'll bring them through.”

Laura led them into the hallway and through to a large living room, two big comfy-looking sofas and a leather armchair. Mismatched but somehow it worked, Serena noted. Large open fire. Huge television. Serena mused that Jason would like it here. “So, what was the plan for your weekend before you were so rudely interrupted by your car?” Laura sat with Leo in the armchair.

“Just a weekend away,” Bernie explained, sitting back against the cushions of one of the large sofas. Serena sat next to her. “We're booked into a cabin, at Horizon Holidays?”

“Oh yeah,” Laura said. “Nice place.”

“We had a pizza delivery planned for last night,” Bernie continued, smiling when Serena thread their fingers together. “And we're supposed to be going out tonight.”

“Somewhere fancy?”

“Hmm. Moderately fancy.”

Sally came in then and placed a tray down with their coffees. Serena and Bernie both stood to collect theirs and offered thanks. “They're staying at Horizon Holidays,” Laura said, accepting the cup she was handed and placing it on the side table next to her.

“Oh. Lovely.” Sally sat on the other sofa.

“First time we've been away together,” Serena said quietly, smiling shyly at the blonde sat next to her. Bernie smiled back and squeezed her fingers as their hands snuck back together.

“Aw,” Laura murmured, looking apologetic. “That sucks. Hopefully the mechanic, when he finally gets here, can fix your car.”

“I suppose if we got there by mid-afternoon, we'd have time to get ready and go out,” Serena mused, sipping her coffee thoughtfully.

“I'm doing a massive pot of soup for lunch today,” Laura explained, playing patter-cake with Leo in his haphazard way. “You're welcome to eat with us.”

“Thank you so much,” Serena said. “That would be lovely.”

“How long are you staying?” Sally asked.

“Check out is tomorrow morning,” Serena said, snaking her hand away from Bernie's to hold her mug more carefully.

“Catch Sunday lunch on the way home,” Bernie continued, “home for Jason shortly after.”

“Jason's your … cat?” Sally asked grinning. Bernie chuckled.

“Nephew,” she said. “Well. Serena's nephew.”

“He’s your nephew too,” Serena said, eyes shining.

“He's has Asperger’s,” Bernie explained. “So, if we're not back by … teatime. He's expecting one of us to make him dinner.”

“I have a kid in my class with autism,” Sally said. “He's got a strict routine, and a whole list of things he does or doesn't like.”

“Sounds challenging,” Bernie commented.

“Actually no. Once you know him he's easy-peasy. It's the more conventional kids I get frustrated with. Naughty little buggers at times.”

“Must be rewarding though,” Bernie said.

“Oh yeah, definitely. I share my week with another teacher. So I have a long weekend.” Sally drank some of her coffee and crossed her legs, sitting a bit more comfortably. “So, you guys are doctors?” Both Serena and Bernie nodded. “Work in the same hospital?”

Bernie snorted out a laugh and caught herself, a hand to her mouth. “Same department.”

“Wow,” Laura said. “Go NHS for diversity.”

“We co-lead the acute admissions unit at Holby City, in Wyvern,” Serena said.

“Go team,” Laura said, doing high-fives with Leo. She laughed and they all joined her, Leo's happy little face and outstretched hands as his mother patted them each in turn. “Yey!” she shouted and he giggled.

They chatted for some time, telling each other about their lives up until now (Serena and Bernie being that much older had a little more to tell). Sally was born in Norway but her parents moved her to Britain when her dad’s cousin died and left him the farm. Laura was born here and they met through a mutual friend, seven years ago.

“We had one very *very* drunken night of passion and afterwards decided we were probably better as friends,” Sally was saying. Serena and Bernie looked at each other. Bernie pressed her lips together.

“That sounds familiar,” Serena said, her coffee cup back on the table and her fingers interlaced with Bernie's.

“Oh go on,” Sally said, taking Leo from Laura as she got up to clear away their cups. “Don't leave us hanging.”

“Talk loudly so I can hear,” Laura asked kindly, leaving the room to take the cups away.

“We … it was…” Serena realised she hadn't told the story before and apart from their anxious conversation in the office with the wine, which didn't end exactly how she'd wanted it anyway, she realised she hadn't really spoken about it with Bernie either.

“One of our nurses had been seriously injured,” Bernie said, hand squeezing Serena's. “We'd just finished operating on him. We were pretty exhausted. Ended up sat together on the floor in theatre just … breathing I suppose.” Her voice turned a little embarrassed. “I … got a bit upset, and I do still stand by the fact that I could have prevented his injuries … but anyway … Serena told me I was wonderful …”

“I believe the phrase I used was ‘fearless and fantastic’,” Serena said affectionately. Laura came back in and sat back in the armchair. She clasped her hands in her lap expectantly.

“Mmm. Something like that.” Bernie was blushing just a bit. “And then I thought what the hell.” Bernie grinned accusatorially at Serena. “You were, to be honest, looking at me with these big open eyes.”

“I was not,” Serena murmured. Sally cuddled her son and looked between them, eyebrow raised and lips quirking in a smirk.

“And we … figured…”

“You figured,” Serena countered.

“You didn't argue.”

“You seemed so sure about it.”

“…that we should … probably not speak about it again.”

“And go back to being very good friends and work colleagues.”

There was a moment of silence. Sally looked between them. Even Leo seemed interested in the story. “Oh come on. How did you get together after that?” she asked.

Leo said: “Habba!” as if he too was waiting on tenterhooks.

“Well,” Serena started slowly, “a few weeks later, someone thought it'd be a good idea to consider a secondment in another country.”

“And someone else decided that this was the perfect excuse to kiss me senseless,” Bernie continued.

“I didn't want you to go,” Serena said, voice quiet and gentle.

“I know. I didn't go.”

“Was effective then.” They grinned at one another.

“All it took was a kiss?” Sally asked, disbelievingly, hand stroking Leo's hair as he snuggled against her, thumb creeping into his mouth. “You must be some kisser, Serena.”

“Well, not quite,” Serena replied, turning back to Sally and blushing profusely. “Bernie was just about to leave, walk out the door and leave the country … I may have had to use the persuasive powers of conversation to make her stay.”

“I was scared,” Bernie countered, smile on her wide-eyes face. “I didn't want to …” She turned back to Sally and closed her mouth. “Anyway, we decided actually maybe it would be okay and … we've been dating ever since.”

“Moved in together just before Christmas…”

“… and the rest is history.”

Sally beamed at them. “Cute. Great story. Something to tell the grandkids.” They nodded.

“Come on then,” Bernie said, grinning at Sally and Leo and then at Laura. “After deciding to stay friends …?”

“Oh we got drunk again,” Sally said.

“Really drunk,” Laura said, grimacing a bit.

“There's only so much vomit a friendship can take.”

“Sexy as hell,” Laura said nodding.

The house phone rang. Laura got up to get it and it was the mechanic, so she called in for Serena to take it. He said he'd be another two hours. Serena hung up and looked at her watch. “So, he should be arriving around one.”

“Good timing,” Laura said. “We’ll eat about twelve then.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

“I know this is a slightly odd thing to say,” Bernie said as she cleaned her bowl with a large piece of crusty bread, “but it's nice to spend time with … a …”

“Gay couple?” Laura asked, quickly. Bernie laughed a bit, nervous at her inability to say the words, rather than the words themselves.

“It's okay we live in a gay-friendly household,” Sally joked, drinking from a glass of water. She lifted the water in a silent toast.

“Right,” Bernie said. “I suppose it's never occurred to me that it would be beneficial.”

“Beneficial?” Serena asked, trying not to giggle.

“That it might be …” Bernie shrugged. “I've no idea what I'm talking about.”

“I know what you mean,” Sally said. “Sometimes being in the gay community is great, and especially when you can double date. Except …” She bit her lip a bit. “If you come from the same area, it can get a bit … incestuous.”

“What?” Serena asked, smiling.

“Like … not many that lesbians in the area. Those that you know you've probably dated. Exes trying to be your friends … that kind of thing.”

“Oh,” Serena breathed, nodding, understanding.

“Yeah, you remember that time we went out for dinner with Colleen and her new beau?” Laura asked. “Sal dated Colleen for ages, before me. Then she wanted to be all friends and …” she grimaced. Serena chuckled.

“That can't have been a comfortable dinner.”

“It really wasn't.”

They got up and helped clear away, loading the dishwasher and chatting about this and that. Bernie smiled brightly at the baby who was babbling away in his high chair, chewing on a couple of pieces of satsuma with gummy jaws. “Look at you, you're covered,” she chuckled. Serena smiled as Sally threw a clean flannel at her, she caught it, and Bernie began to wipe the little boy’s face. Leo screwed up his eyes but stayed still whilst she washed his skin gently. Then she did his hands too.

“Blimey were inviting you back,” Sally said, obviously impressed. “Usually he kicks and screams.” Bernie shrugged and threw the flannel back to her.

“You said something about a pub lunch tomorrow?” Laura asked, wiping the place mats with a cloth. Serena nodded. “Rather than spending out, why don't you come to ours?”

“Oh, we couldn't intrude in you again,” Serena said, graciously.

“Wouldn't be,” Laura said honestly. “We've got a massive leg of lamb in the freezer and it's too much for the two of us.”

“Does that mean Greek shepherds pie on Monday?” Sally asked. Laura nodded. Sally turned to them. “Okay, you have to come. If only so I can have my favourite dish the day after. Laura makes it with the leftovers.”

Serena looked at Bernie, who shrugged, then nodded. “Sounds lovely,” Bernie said.

“Okay, count us in.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

By some miracle, the mechanic that turned up at 1pm on the dot, and that Serena walked down to her car, with Bernie in tow carrying their belongings, was able to fix the problem. Bernie understood the problem, spoke about it with the mechanic for several minutes whilst Serena packed the car back up with their stuff. She watched Bernie, thumb and forefinger at her chin, nodding and frowning at what the mechanic said. Serena pursed her lips and tried not to smile as Bernie and the mechanic fixed her car.

They drove back to the farm to thank Sally and Laura and exchange numbers. “We have wifi, so do the whatsapp thing, or ring the house phone,” Sally explained, giving Bernie a hug, which Bernie returned a little feebly. Serena hugged both Sally and Laura and then chucked Leo on the chin.

“See you tomorrow,” Serena said. “And, honestly, thank you so much for the hospitality. And the barn,” she finished, emphatically.

“Glad you enjoyed it,” Sally said. Laura shoved her with her shoulder. They both smiled innocently at Serena and Bernie as they left the house, waved and made Leo's hand flap up and down as Serena drove back down the long driveway.

“What a weekend so far,” Serena sighed, as Bernie poked her finger onto the paper map, glaring at the road and following where they were on the map as they drove.

“Turn left at the next junction,” the satnav said.

Serena glanced at Bernie, eyeing the map with disdain. “It's just a plan B,” Bernie murmured, concentrating hard. Serena smiled, patted her thigh.

“Okay, my love.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Collecting their keys from the visitor’s centre, they entered the cabin and sipped their stuff in the hallway. Serena flopped onto the corner sofa in the living space with a groan and Bernie stood in front of the thermostats, three of them, one for each area of the cabin. “Full whack, d’you reckon?”

“Yes please,” Serena replied, closing her eyes, pulling off her boots and settling back into the soft cushions with her feet up on the sofa. “God, I'm exhausted.” Bernie smiled at her, turned up all three thermostats to full and went straight to the little kitchen to fill and turn on the kettle. Serena peeked open an eye. “You're an angel,” she groaned appreciatively, a smile of relief on her lips.

Whilst the kettle was boiling, Bernie pulled her own boots off and curled up against Serena's side on the sofa. “Quick cuppa, then I suggest we do some exploring.” Serena groaned again and Bernie laughed. “Inside, Serena. I meant inside the cabin.”

“Oh, that's okay then.” Serena pulled Bernie's arm round her waist and kissed her forehead before leaning her cheek against the top of Bernie's head. “Can't we just stay here tonight? Rather than going to the restaurant?”

Bernie lifted her head and looked a little disappointed at her. There was a pause. “If that's what you really want to do,” she said, nodding, expression soft. Serena put a palm against Bernie's cheek.

“Ignore me. I'm just being a spoil sport.” Bernie smiled, and the kettle switched off, so she grasped Serena's wrist, kissed her palm, and stood.

They drunk their tea, and Serena used the inbuilt wifi to give Jason a call on Skype. He was okay, but a little irritated that Auntie Serena had lent replied to any of his texts during the last day. He had, however had a nice time at the zoo with Cameron. Bernie grinned when she saw her son in the background, and gave him a wave, and an thankful glance.

Once they’d hung up, Bernie found the TV remote for the large screen sunken into the wall below the high kitchen counter. She flicked through a few channels, before settling on a music station, and turned the volume down low. Bernie slid an arm around Serena's shoulders and Serena leant against her, sipping the warm tea and feeling a little more rejuvenated.

The cabin, they discovered, belted out heat from the floor and Bernie ended up turning it down for fear of them roasting. The bedroom was small but the bed was large, comfortable, duvet and tartan throw, two pillows each and small chocolates on the pillows. Three towels each, of varying size. A collection of toiletries proclaimed as ‘green’ by their recyclable packaging. The bath was smaller than the one at home, but when Bernie turned on the shower it rained down from a large shower head and Serena seemed pleased at the pressure as she held her hand under the spray. Everything was spotless.

The kitchen had a small bottle of milk in the fridge, tea and coffee making ingredients (including hot chocolate), and a working microwave and oven, not that they'd need either during their shortened stay. Bernie had bought the entertainment package and suggested Serena choose a film, if she wasn't too tired, that they could cuddle up to after their return from dinner.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Dinner had been lovely and Serena felt pleased she had changed her mind about staying in. Also, the grey suit was out of the wardrobe again and hugging Bernie's body in various places in such an appealing way, Serena reckoned that alone would have swayed her, if the cup of tea hadn't. Candle light, and good food, and delicious wine, and a shared dessert (they never seemed to order one each, just one between them and two spoons), and a cab ride back to the cabin.

Bernie, in turn, had been treated to an ample amount of visible cleavage during the meal, courtesy of Serena's lovely black dress. She relished in the tiny grins Serena had thrown at her, the shy grins that meant she'd caught Bernie ogling her but didn't mind so much.

She knew Serena was tired though. Although they'd slept for a while last night, it wasn't quite their usual seven or eight hours and she knew Serena had been a bit cold (shenanigans in the barn not with standing).

As they slunk through the front door of the cabin, took their shoes off and relished in the warm wood beneath their feet, Bernie gathered Serena to her and kissed her cheek. “Bed time?” she asked, gently. Serena rested her cheek against Bernie's shoulder, arms slipped round her waist.

“Sounds like a plan,” she murmured, clearly dead on her feet. “We can watch a movie at home at some point.”

Bernie let her go and went into the bedroom, taking off and hanging up her suit in the wardrobe, ready to be repacked in the morning. She pulled her pyjamas from her hold-all, a cotton matching set (for once) with blue and white stripes and large buttons down the front. She sat on the bed, lay the pyjamas next to her ready, and waited for Serena to finish in the bathroom, before using it herself, showering quickly and washing her hair.

Clean-faced, mint-breathed, and pyjama-clad, they rolled into bed. They faced each other, Serena's eyes drooping. Bernie reached to stroke Serena's face, a soft look in her eyes. “It's okay. I know this was supposed to be a romantic weekend and everything but …” Bernie shrugged. Serena smiled and tried to hide a yawn by turning her head away. “Come’ere,” Bernie whispered, after reaching back to turn off the lamp by her side of the bed. Serena snuggled up to her shoulder and inhaled deeply, a hand sneaking under Bernie's shirt to lay motionless against the bare skin of her ribs. Bernie chuckled. “Sleep well,” she whispered. All she got in return was a positively gorgeous murmur of appreciation and a long gentle sigh.

*~*~*~*~*~*

No one had informed them about the firework display. Had they ventured as far as the café, they would probably have seen the various posters, promoting the tenth anniversary of the holiday company’s opening. They might even have been invited to the barbecue that a good half of the holiday-goers (and quite a few tagging-along locals) were currently enjoying.

They probably wouldn't have gone anyway. It would have meant changing out of their dinner clothes and into warm clothes, and in their tired states it just wouldn't have been worth it. But at least they would have been prepared when the display started, right over their cabin.

Bernie sat bolt upright, gripping the duvet in one hand and Serena's shoulder with the other. Serena rolled over, bleary-eyed, but when the second bang rocked through the cabin, she understood and immediately sat up too. She took Bernie's hand from her shoulder and kissed her forehead as she wrapped her arm around Bernie's back. “It's okay,” she whispered, feeling slight relief when the blonde leant against her front. She settled them carefully against the pillows and stroked Bernie's back, which was rigid under her palm.

Bernie jumped when the next rocket exploded above them and Serena smiled a little, using soothing words and noises. Bernie started to relax and her fingers began a tickling motion again Serena's stomach. Serena rubbed the forearm attached to those fingers, not sure whether her movements were unconscious. After a few minutes of loud noises and sparks flying Bernie huffed, irritated. “Surely that's enough?” she said, her voice shaky.

“It's alright,” Serena breathed, trying to soothe Bernie with the hand against her arm, and against her back. Bernie sat up, shaking a little, but eyes dry and focussed.

“I can't…” Bernie's breathing had sped up.

“You're doing really well,” Serena encouraged, reaching to stroke her face, her neck, smiling warmly. “Be over soon.” Bernie jumped again, but closed her eyes and tried to calm down. “Remember abdominal breathing?”

“Yep.”

“Try doing that.” Bernie made a noise of complaint in her throat but did try to slow her breathing “Maybe we should do something to distract you.” Bernie nodded.

“Okay,” she said breathily. She gave Serena a slightly wild and questioning look.

“We could play a game. Or …” Serena grimaced. “Sorry. Didn't really think this through.”

“That’s okay,” Bernie snuggled back against Serena's front and her hand started up the tickling again. She jumped against Serena's front again and Serena squeezed her.

“Want me to go shout at the pyrotechnic teams?” Serena asked, and Bernie looked up at her.

“Might help,” Bernie said. She smiled a bit. “I like it when you're bossy,” she admitted.

“Do you,” Serena said affectionately, reaching to stroke Bernie's hair, feeling glad she'd discovered something that might distract the blonde.

“Mmmhmm.”

“What else do you like?” Bernie's smile broadened and she sat up again, leaning on one hip to face Serena.

“When you get all disbelieving with a patient. You have this eyebrow lift that … does things to me.” Bernie bit her lip and looked accusingly up at the ceiling when another rocket went off. She didn't jump though. Serena felt overwhelmingly pleased but tried not to show it.

“What does it do to you?” Serena asked quietly, coyly, in an attempt to distract Bernie from the fireworks.

“This … kind of thing.” Bernie took Serena's chin in her hands and kissed her, a pressing passionate kiss that tore Serena's breath from her lungs. Serena responded enthusiastically, hands smoothing up Bernie's sides, tangling in her hair.

They'd had a couple of hours sleep before they'd been rudely interrupted. Bernie would have called it a power nap. Serena found she had a sudden burst of energy within her again. She allowed Bernie to take a little control, to decide upon the speed of the kiss, the pressure, the depth. She complied when Bernie's hands snuck around her hips and pulled her to straddle her. Serena broke the kiss gently and sat back on her knees, hands stroking Bernie's hair behind her ears. “Distracted enough?” Bernie tensed when another bang went off above them, but huffed out on a smile, nodded. “Good.”

“Guess we um … found a solution to my … firework issue.” Bernie slid her hands down Serena's thighs, back up to hook her fingers into the waistband of the silky pyjamas bottoms.

“Easy tiger,” Serena breathed, smiling broadly and dipping her lips close to Bernie's but not quite kissing her.

“Distract me,” Bernie said, tugging insistently. Serena knelt to the side and slipped off the trousers, dipping her fingers into the sides of her briefs with a questioning look. Bernie pulled off her own pyjama bottoms and underwear. “I'll show you mine,” she said, eyes challenging.

“If it'll help,” Serena said innocently, pulling off her underwear too. Bernie held out her hands in invitation, sat snugly back against the pillows, and Serena lifted a leg to sit astride her again. “Who am I to deny you psychological therapy?” Bernie chuckled and simply looked up as a rocket sped and exploded above them. Serena took Bernie's hands and placed them back on her thighs. “Here.”

Bernie's hands slid up and down Serena's thighs as their lips met again. Serena's thumbs caressed Bernie's neck, before sliding down to start undoing the buttons on her pyjama shirt. “This is much more comfortable than last night,” Bernie said as they broke for air.

“I'm very comfortable,” Serena said, gasping a bit as Bernie's fingertips trailed up over her hip bones and under her own pyjama shirt. Then down again, tickling the skin of the outside of her thighs, right to her knees. Poking into the crease in the back of her knees, then smoothing up again, thumbs this time dipping along the inside of Serena's thighs. She splayed her fingers round Serena's hips again and Serena shifted a little closer, the dark hair between her legs tickling Bernie's lower belly.

Serena gently pushed Bernie's shirt, now completely unbuttoned, open and exposing her shoulders. Serena dropped her lips to Bernie's shoulder and kissed her there softly, trailing her lips across in a swirly pattern towards her neck. She kissed up under her ear, then pulled back. Her eyes flicked upwards. “The fireworks have stopped.”

“I didn't even notice,” Bernie replied.

“Far too distracted, hmm?” Serena asked, her voice full of heat.

“Something like that,” Bernie murmured, capturing Serena's lips again, taking the bottom of Serena's top and pulling upwards. Serena laughed a bit and raised her arms above her head and allowed Bernie to pull the top over her head. Bernie gazed at her breasts, watched the top graze over them as they were freed. She threw the top to the other side of the room and Serena laughed again, watching it hit the curtains.

She gave Bernie a look. “I'll get it in a minute,” Bernie promised.

“Only a minute?”

“Shhh,” Bernie hissed, hands cupping those full breasts with tenderness, smoothing back and forth. Serena rested her hands against Bernie's shoulders and smiled affectionately down at her.

“You have shown a recent and specific fixation with … my breasts,” Serena commented gently. Bernie blinked up at her, shrugging a bit, hands not ceasing their caresses.

“I'm … sorry?” Bernie asked, smiling, leaning forward to take a nipple into her mouth. Serena knelt up and tickled the back of Bernie's neck, pulling her gently closer. She let out a shaky breath as Bernie's tongue flicked against her nipple, already hard and ready. Bernie's hands dropped to Serena's hips again, then round to cup her backside. Nails scraped a bit and Serena pushed her hips closer. Her thighs shook a bit as Bernie's tongue flicked her nipple back and forth.

“As wonderful as this is,” Serena managed, stroking Bernie's hair as her tongue circled and then flicked again, “I don't think I can stay like this.”

Bernie's hands slipped to her hips again as her mouth left her skin with a soft ‘plup’, and she grinned up at her. “Sometimes I wish we were twenty so we could play out the whole … lesbian sex book.” Bernie shifted backwards at Serena’s hand pushing her shoulders, to lie in the pillows.

“There's a lesbian sex book?” Serena asked as she leant forward on her elbows, Bernie's head between them.

“Yeah,” Bernie replied.

“Are there pictures?” Serena asked, curiously, careful fingertips pushing Bernie shirt open properly to lean her head down and kiss at the skin of a breast.

“No. Well, there are. More … diagrams.”

“Of what?” Bernie blushed a bit.

“Techniques, positions…” Serena flicked her eyebrows up once.

“Really?” she whispered. Bernie nodded. “Think I need to read it?” Bernie shook her head.

“I think you have it sussed,” Bernie replied. Serena smiled, made a contented noise and came back up to kissed her lips, tongue flicking a little at her lips until Bernie parted them, deepening the kiss. Serena stroked her breast with her fingertips, gently rubbing and then rolling her nipple. Bernie stretched back and gasped against her lips.

Serena grinned and kissed between Bernie's breasts before changing position, kneeling between Bernie's legs and trailing her lips down Bernie's ribs. “You don't reckon I need a few tips?” Serena asked. Bernie stared down at her.

“You're kidding.”

“Can we get the book anyway?” Serena asked, a wicked flirtatious smile on her face. Bernie laughed.

“If you really feel like you're missing out.”

“Perhaps a little … bedtime reading.”

Satisfied, Serena kissed down Bernie's tummy, reaching the soft hair, lighter than her own, that hid the place she was so looking forward to going. She stroked Bernie there for a moment, her hand flat, before she hunkered down on her elbows, wrapped her arms under Bernie's legs and pressed a kiss to the inside of Bernie's thigh. She heard Bernie inhale deeply and watched the blonde shiver a bit, hands against her own cheeks. “Oh my love,” Serena whispered, almost too quietly for Bernie to hear, and she dipped down to taste her.

Bernie closed her eyes and reached down to hold Serena's hand. Their fingers interlaced by her hip and she felt Serena's other hand opening her, before her tongue touched her, flat and gentle, in a wonderfully warm and sensuously long sweep. She gathered the already present wetness there. Something she'd realised fairly recently - Bernie tasted better than chocolate ice cream.

Serena pressed Bernie's knees upwards, angling her pelvis up as she went, conscious she would get a stiff neck otherwise (she'd been a quick learner in the previous weeks). She also knew Bernie loved this, loved how it felt to be pleasured like this, and she took great delight in making Bernie feel absolutely wonderful. She pressed the tip of her tongue to the engorged flesh by Bernie's entrance, making small circles around and felt Bernie squeeze her hand, heard Bernie moan. She lifted her head a moment, caught Bernie's eyes.

Flushed from cheeks to cleavage, and lips parted and breathing a little deep, Bernie stared back at her. Bernie squeezed her hand again, and Serena took that as a plea or encouragement or a bit of both, and leant down again to continue.

She kissed at that soft cushioned flesh again, tongue tracing patterns and letters around and on occasion just inside, until Bernie was shifting a little on the bed, breathing hitched. Serena smiled a bit and took pity on her, sliding her tongue and lips upwards, taking Bernie's clit into her mouth gently and laying her tongue flat against the tip. As had been most appreciated before, she moved her head in tiny circles, Bernie's breaths started to come out in small moans, her hips rolling a little.

Serena flicked her tongue and Bernie's hand sunk into her hair, the desire to grip her to her a little overwhelming. Serena flicked and circled and flicked again. Bernie's hips started a lazy rocking as she set up a steady circling, her tongue soft. She tensed her tongue a little as Bernie's moans became a little louder.

Bernie breathed out her name. Serena pressed her free hand, her index and middle fingers, against the soft flesh by Bernie entrance. Sliding inside her a little, Bernie stretched back, fingers digging into Serena's scalp. She started to shake. Serena flicked her clit hard and fast with her tongue and after a few moments of rocking and her stomach clenching, Bernie came, gasping and gripping her hand, gripping Serena's head to her.

A few gentle sweeps of her tongue beside and close to but not over Bernie's clit, Serena breathed out a laugh. She always found it amazing that she could do that. That she had the ability to, the skills to, but also that she was allowed to. She still found it novel. After weeks last year of considering it, after that desperate and imperfect kiss on the floor of theatre. And then after spending nights together thinking she wouldn't like it or Bernie wouldn't like what she did … it was very oddly novel.

She wiped her mouth with her hand, wiped her wet hand on the bed. She shifted up a little and lay her cheek against Bernie's midriff, arms encircling her waist. Bernie's hips still twitched with aftershocks. That was okay, Serena found she was quite comfortable there, thank you very much. The cool skin of Bernie's tummy was soft against her cheek. She hummed her own contentment, their fingers still interlinked against Bernie's ribs. Bernie sighed and relaxed into the mattress.

A gentle but insistent tugging on her hand made Serena look up. Bernie's eyes were shining affectionately down at her. “You are so good at that,” Bernie sighed, unable to not voice her opinion on the matter. Serena smiled and slid up her body, their breasts brushing, to kiss her gently.

“Can we get the book anyway?”

“Course we can.” Bernie's hand slipped from her own and wrapped round her back, slid down to the small of her back, then round the softness below.

Bernie pushed against Serena's hip, so that Serena slid off her, and snuggled against her shoulder. They kissed a bit more, slowly, Serena's fingertips against Bernie's chin. Serena smiled happily, before feeling Bernie's hand against her hip, rolling her away and then onto her other side so that she was facing away from her. The kiss broke, and Bernie pressed up against Serena's back, pushing her hips against Serena's bottom.

Serena looked round at her curiously, felt Bernie’s fingers squeezing the back of her thigh and pushing so that her top knee bent against the bed. Bernie's palm smoothed against Serena's thigh, fingers tickling her skin by her hip, before sliding round between them, between her legs from behind. Serena reached behind her to cup Bernie's jaw and inhaled deeply as Bernie's fingers slipped between her lower lips and touched her.

Kissing the back of her neck, Bernie’s hand was still. Serena sighed against the kisses against her neck, then down the top of her spine, back up and round the side of her neck. Serena stretched back a little, Bernie's lips teasing her ear.

Bernie moved her hand, slid two fingers forward, curling to circle Serena's clit. She grinned as she felt Serena moan, hips canting a little at the pressure. She pressed her breasts against Serena's back, bit a little at her shoulder, before soothing the area with her tongue and a kiss. Serena moaned again, feeling Bernie's fingers circle too gently and at an agonising pace. She pressed her hips backwards.

“Bernie,” she breathed, trying to put what she wanted into the tone of her voice. Bernie grinned a little, kept up the agonising pace until Serena relented. “Please.”

“Can't imagine what you want,” Bernie said, teasingly, hand so slow and gentle. Serena huffed. Bernie kissed her neck. “You can tell me,” she coaxed.

“Your fingers. Please touch me.”

“I am touching you,” Bernie breathed, kissing her neck again, tongue flicking out a little to taste her skin.

“You're teasing me,” Serena complained breathily.

“I know.”

“And while that's … really very nice, Bernie, I … would like a little more.”

“More what?” Bernie asked.

“More … pressure.”

“Whatever the lady wants.” Bernie's hand pressed more firmly against her sex and Serena moaned a little. After a minute or two of agonisingly slow circles, despite the increased pressure against that bundle of nerves, Serena was shivering again with desire.

“Bernie.”

“I do like the way you say my name,” Bernie said, voice low, sucking on her shoulder.

“You're being very mean.”

“I'm not. I told you. Just tell me what you want.”

“Okay,” Serena said, eyebrow raised. A challenge. She could do this. “Move faster against me.”

“Like this?” Bernie murmured, speeding up the caresses against Serena's clit a little more.

“Yes,” Serena whispered. She gripped the pillow under her cheek and allowed her muscles to tense and relax with each circle of Bernie's fingers.

“How does it feel?”

Serena laughed out on a breath. “Good. It feels good,” she whispered.

“You feel good,” Bernie replied, her free arm sneaking under Serena's head. Serena grasped her hand, their fingers interlinking as they had when Serena had used her mouth on Bernie.

“Faster,” Serena requested without being prompted, after a moment, feeling it building, her arousal.

“Anything else?”

“Harder? Harder.” Serena turned her head into the pillow and into Bernie's arm, kissing her skin just below the inside of her elbow. She closed her eyes as she felt Bernie's fingers speed up and press against her

Bernie closed her eyes too, concentrating and listening. This was a first for both of them, this way, this position. Bernie had never touched anyone like this, from behind, and the difference in approach meant she needed to feel, to check her fingers were in the place she wanted them to be, against that fantastic bundle of nerves. Bernie realised a little childishly, that this was her favourite place. Somewhere she would quite happily stay forever.

She closed her eyes and concentrated, smiling and sighing as she felt Serena's hips thrusting now, rolling into the bed where she lay nearly on her front, top leg hitching a little higher so that she was spread open. She felt Serena's fingers squeezing her own. She wondered to herself, remembered that night Serena had shown her what she liked herself.

Curling her thumb, she slipped the knuckle close to Serena's entrance, just sliding inside a little. The combined sensations of the pads of Bernie's fingers on her clit, and her hard knuckle rubbing right at her entrance, made Serena groan breathily, stretch her head back. “Okay?” Bernie asked, breathy herself.

“Oh,” was all Serena could manage, her whole body starting to shake. Bernie buried her nose in Serena's hair and squeezed her hand, pressed her fingers against her clit and slipped her thumb, unbent now, inside her, as she came. Hard. With a wet gush against the sheets.

Bernie smiled smugly and held her hand still as Serena rocked against her, small strangled moans and breathy noises rushing from her lips. As Serena became too sensitive to be touched, she pressed her thighs together, knees bent in front of her, and Bernie willingly and gently removed her hand.

They breathed for a while, finger knotted together by Serena's chin, Bernie still pressed up against her back, kissed the back of her neck. Eventually, Serena got her breathing under control enough to move. She rolled onto her back, but felt the wet patch beneath her buttocks and put her free hand over her eyes with a noise of embarrassment. Bernie continued to grin and kissed her cheek, letting go of her fingers and pulling her with the arm under her head so that she lay against her shoulder. “Point, set and match, I’d say,” she whispered as she kissed Serena's ear.

Serena brought her other hand up to her face and made the noise again. “I can't believe it happened again,” she hissed and Bernie chuckled.

“I just must be … good with my hands.” She caressed Serena's hair by her ear for a bit and waited for the embarrassment to drop from her, along with her hands from her face. Serena sighed and looked up to find Bernie grinning at her. “It really is the sexiest thing.”

“Move over a bit?” Serena requested and Bernie complied, shifting them away from the wet patch in the large bed. “Mmm,” Serena sighed, hand smoothing against Bernie's naked belly, fingertips tracing round her navel. Bernie gathered her up more snugly and pulled the duvet around them loosely.

“Well it's a lot warmer than the barn,” she commented, before realising Serena's breathing had evened out and her hand had stilled She smiled affectionately, kissed Serena's hair, before closing her own eyes.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bernie and Serena had packed the car after Serena had showered, and had grabbed a coffee and a pastry each from the café by reception after checkout. They ate and drank, sat together on a leather sofa by large windows that gave them the perfect view of the little holiday village in spring. And then they had left to begin the journey home.

It was only an hour to Laura and Sally's farm, and they'd listened to the Archers on the way, via iPlayer radio and Bernie's ability to link Serena's phone to the car (“why didn't I know how to do this before?”). They got to the farm at around twelve and helped set the table and chatted idly about various cooking exploits. Bernie told them about her attempts to teach Jason a thing or two about cooking, and she was commended by both Laura and Sally and thrown proud and affectionate glances by Serena as she described his progress.

They ate very well, including apple crumble for pudding (“we sold a chicken to an apple orchard and got like four kilos of apples as payment,” Laura explained). They rolled into the living room with full tummies and little energy. Laura waved her hand at Bernie's insistence they help clear away. “We never tidy up until at least the evening in a Sunday,” she explained.

“But we're leaving soon,” Serena complained. “I feel bad leaving you with all that to do.”

“Honestly,” Sally said, cuddling Leo close as he had a little sleep, “it's fine. Everything goes in the dishwasher.”

They sat in silence for a bit and Serena let her head drop against Bernie's shoulder.

They left the farm with good intentions to stay in contact. During the three hour drive home, Bernie turned from the wheel to glance at Serena. “It was nice to have a couple to hang out with, wasn't it?”

“Hang out?” Serena asked, smiling.

“Spend time then, socialise,” Bernie replied, eyes back on the road.

“You're right,” Serena replied, thoughtfully. “They're nice people.”

They sat in companionable quiet, both dreaming up ways to stay in contact with the couple. Meet in the middle perhaps, rent a cottage together in the Exmoor countryside. Entertain them at their house, ask them to stay, all six of them round Serena's big oak table, laughing and joking.

Bernie's hand strayed to Serena's when they finally found motorway. Their fingers interlinked in that way Bernie was finding very familiar these days. Stolen glances between them were coy but confident in meaning. Serena reached to turn the radio on and Bernie grinned when she found a rock station, turning the volume up and singing along. Bernie thoroughly enjoyed the journey home, despite the heavy Sunday afternoon traffic.

*~*~*~*~*~*


End file.
